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Forum » How do men handle living with their parents past 30 (maybe 25)?
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Thread: How do men handle living with their parents past 30 (maybe 25)?

post 1661494663 05-18-2022, 06:07 AM
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How do men handle living with their parents past 30 (maybe 25)?

Was at my parents house for the weekend and by Sunday I could not wait to leave. They are great parents and we have a very close relationship but I just can't see how an adult man can cope with that.

Unless you have immediate goals about buying a place or you're going through a divorce no man past 30 should be living at home. 'Saving' for a house maybe one day is not worth it imo. How do you even date sl00ts? lol

What do you guys think? Am I being too harsh?
post 1661494733 05-18-2022, 06:11 AM
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Delayed gratification, I guess? I would have a lot of respect for a man who was actually saving, careermaxxing and bettering himself to prepare for a family.

This isn't uncommon in my culture, but I'd want to make sure this guy isn't just a NEET mooching off his poor parents
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post 1661494843 05-18-2022, 06:15 AM
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I left home at 29, which was leaving it late I know.

I agree that unless you are effectively caring for your parents or have serious financial troubles, you should not be living at home past 30 or so. It isn't too harsh a stance to take. Your parents don't want you under their feet as a grown man, it gets embarrassing for everyone.

I know men who only "had their own place" when their parents died in their 80s and 90s.
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post 1661494923 05-18-2022, 06:18 AM
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I know two dudes above 30 living at home.

1. Got raked in a divorce and is living with his widower father. They're basically roommates.
2. Lives in Toronto and simply can't afford to buy a house. Dude is essentially waiting for his folks to die so he can inherit it.
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post 1661494993 05-18-2022, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted By redraider86⏩
Delayed gratification, I guess? I would have a lot of respect for a man who was actually saving, careermaxxing and bettering himself to prepare for a family.

This isn't uncommon in my culture, but I'd want to make sure this guy isn't just a NEET mooching off his poor parents
What about a brah who lives with his parents but pays rent and does chores

I’m 24 and it’s never been a problem with the ladies
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post 1661495083 05-18-2022, 06:22 AM
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Idk ask my sister. She's 19, works, but my dad pays for everything. She doesn't spend a cent, but on her boyfriend and her. She can't drive either...so like an idiot, I drive her. Doesn't give me gas money either, or a thank you.
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post 1661495163 05-18-2022, 06:25 AM
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Originally Posted By Ironface⏩
What about a brah who lives with his parents but pays rent and does chores

I’m 24 and it’s never been a problem with the ladies
That's cool! For me at that period of my life I think it would be more important that you have a plan to move out. But this doesn't sound like a basement dwelling NEET situation to me
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post 1661495223 05-18-2022, 06:27 AM
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Originally Posted By Fang2⏩
Idk ask my sister. She's 19, works, but my dad pays for everything. She doesn't spend a cent, but on her boyfriend and her. She can't drive either...so like an idiot, I drive her. Doesn't give me gas money either, or a thank you.
Feel like it's different for women. It's not fair but that's just the way it is.
post 1661495353 05-18-2022, 06:32 AM
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I left when I was 27, but I paid rent and helped out around the house. I kinda had a wild and loose 20's (going out a lot, expensive trips, wasting money on cars etc.), so I blame myself in the end.
post 1661495583 05-18-2022, 06:39 AM
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What about living with roomates past 30?
post 1661495693 05-18-2022, 06:42 AM
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I honestly can't believe the ages everyone is talking about leaving home. Late 20s and even early 30s?! WTF.....
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post 1661495743 05-18-2022, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted By Fang2⏩
Idk ask my sister. She's 19, works, but my dad pays for everything. She doesn't spend a cent, but on her boyfriend and her. She can't drive either...so like an idiot, I drive her. Doesn't give me gas money either, or a thank you.
That's what happens when people enable that type of behavior, like you and your family are doing.
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post 1661496283 05-18-2022, 07:02 AM
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If you're saving up to move out then fair enough, everyone's different, if you're not then sort yourself out.
post 1661496473 05-18-2022, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted By 2020Wellness⏩
I honestly can't believe the ages everyone is talking about leaving home. Late 20s and even early 30s?! WTF.....
Have you not opened your mind and thought about different cultural perspectives? That would be like me saying "wow, I cant believe most Americans abandon their parents in their old age and leave them in nursing homes, WTF"
A lot of it is cultural. The devil is in the details. My wife lived with her parents until we married and she was in her early 30's. Money was not the issue, she was well over six figures.......it was more about cultural tradition.

As my mom got older, I bought her a house .5 mile from me so she can be near my kids. As she gets even older and unable to support herself, she will live with us.....not in some nursing home. Meanwhile one of my colleagues (who does very well) sold his old truck to his father. My father would pimp slap me if I tried to sell him something. Different cultures have different ways of being with their family.
post 1661496673 05-18-2022, 07:14 AM
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Once you get a full time job and are able to support yourself financially, move out.

Living at home when working full time means you have so much dispoible income; so you become used to a certain lifestyle which is really tough to break once you do move out and need to budget.
post 1661496763 05-18-2022, 07:17 AM
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i did this recently after i lost my job due to covid

its the absolute WOAT srs

im generally pretty ambitious/keen to learn anything and everything - and going from living with like minded people to with parents who just do the same thing day in day out, have no thirst for knowledge - basically the equivalent of rotting - it's super depressing.

plus social life is sh*t - no gf and even if i meet girls its super awk telling them i live at home (regardless of circumstance)

brb getting woken up because they get up at stupid o'clock
brb have to share the kitchen
brb have to watch their tv or isolate myself in my room all day

hopefully moving out in a few months as landed another job but JFC never again
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post 1661496773 05-18-2022, 07:17 AM
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post 1661497463 05-18-2022, 07:31 AM
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post 1661497763 05-18-2022, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted By Issobolic28⏩
Once you get a full time job and are able to support yourself financially, move out.

Living at home when working full time means you have so much dispoible income; so you become used to a certain lifestyle which is really tough to break once you do move out and need to budget.
Yeah I work full time and live with parents, mainly because I love having tons of disposable income and can save for a house much easier.

If I was to move out now I'd be wasting money on rent and probably wouldn't be able to afford to save.
post 1661498683 05-18-2022, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted By donblaximus⏩
Have you not opened your mind and thought about different cultural perspectives? That would be like me saying "wow, I cant believe most Americans abandon their parents in their old age and leave them in nursing homes, WTF"
A lot of it is cultural. The devil is in the details. My wife lived with her parents until we married and she was in her early 30's. Money was not the issue, she was well over six figures.......it was more about cultural tradition.

As my mom got older, I bought her a house .5 mile from me so she can be near my kids. As she gets even older and unable to support herself, she will live with us.....not in some nursing home. Meanwhile one of my colleagues (who does very well) sold his old truck to his father. My father would pimp slap me if I tried to sell him something. Different cultures have different ways of being with their family.
this

I hang around amongst East Asians mostly in the UK and they all do something like the above; I am from Eastern Europe and we do something similar in all actuality


I think in White UK/US households it is mostly a culture of "living on your own asap"


But a huge chunk of them nowadays do things that make the most fiscal sense and desires, depending on circumstances, eg:

- I have a mate who is in medical residency that happens to be in St Loius where his parents are; he pays the bills and does chores but is going to stay there 2 years after getting the big buck medicine salary because then he can literally do a 40-50% down payment on a property

- I have a mate here in London who left after starting his job in London. That's because he wants to be with his friends in a shared flat and party hard after working hard, even if he will save at a slower rate for his own property.
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post 1661499003 05-18-2022, 08:02 AM
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I lived at my parents til I was like 29. I moved out briefly when I was 18-19 into a 4 bedroom apartment with my friends thinking it would be awesome. It was and wasn't. But after 1 year I moved back home.

I didn't mind living with my parents at all but here's why...

- my parents were cool af. My gf slept over basically all the time, my friends came over alot, we hosted bbqs and small parties regularly where my parents would come out and chill. My dad loved to drink with me and my buddies.

- I already had a long term girlfriend. We started dating when I was 21, so i didn't really have the burden of trying to meet new girls while admitting I live with my parents still. That would probably have effected my decision to live at home for so long.

- the goal was to save up for a house which me and the gf did and would probably have been impossible otherwise.
post 1661499033 05-18-2022, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
"Men" or adult males?
Exactly. No MAN lives with their rents in American culture that is.
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post 1661501843 05-18-2022, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted By Vascularmanlet⏩
Yeah I work full time and live with parents, mainly because I love having tons of disposable income and can save for a house much easier.

If I was to move out now I'd be wasting money on rent and probably wouldn't be able to afford to save.
I hear that argument but then you’re spending the bulk of your 20s living with your parents. The life experiences of living alone or with friends to me, are priceless.
post 1661502153 05-18-2022, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted By RhysWirral⏩
I hear that argument but then you’re spending the bulk of your 20s living with your parents. The life experiences of living alone or with friends to me, are priceless.
There's alot to be said about this. That's one benefit of college is it gets you out of the family house ASAP and for many, they never return because they'll get jobs.

IF you're staying with parents to save money, make sure you're ACTUALLY doing it and not just talking about it. Should be more than ready to buy a property within 2 years of working, tbh.
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post 1661503763 05-18-2022, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted By Vascularmanlet⏩
Yeah I work full time and live with parents, mainly because I love having tons of disposable income and can save for a house much easier.

If I was to move out now I'd be wasting money on rent and probably wouldn't be able to afford to save.
you don't fall into the category of living at home because life is expensive or to help them

it doesn't sound like you pay rent to them and you use hookers. so you aren't taking life seriously anyway

you choose to stay at home because it is comfortable - BETA

you have the money to rent and save, but you choose not to brah. where you live up north it is cheap as to buy a place with a small deposit. all you need is your parents to be a guarantor on the mortgage

having your own place if you are good looking is easy to get poocy also. just tell them to come over. you can have a rotation of 5 sloots a week coming to fk
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post 1661504203 05-18-2022, 09:41 AM
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I left at 23 and felt like I was there too long.
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post 1661504263 05-18-2022, 09:42 AM
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You move out when you're either ready to start your family or want to be solo, or when your parents want you to because it is their place.

Nothing wrong with living at home at 30 if you're a productive person and not just hanging out in the basement miscing all day or something.
post 1661505973 05-18-2022, 10:16 AM
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post 1661506313 05-18-2022, 10:22 AM
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I can see using their home for some logistics while living in your own place.
post 1661506763 05-18-2022, 10:29 AM
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Moved out at 19

Always had multiple jobs/incomes. Lived in a studio to save maxx while my friends were in nice apartments.

Now I have a house, while my friends are still renting

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