gf of 3 years woke up thursday morning and told me she was moving her ish out over the weekend. Got all her stuff out on Saturday.

Not sure how I feel about it tbh, it's obviously a bummer as she seemed to be a very kind, loving person, but after her behavior on Saturday I saw a diff side to her that I kinda always knew was there but tried to ignore because she never showed that side to me. Luckily, I no longer have any pressure to have kids I didn't want, and can now do the things I actually want to do vs always deferring to her to keep her happy. P confident it's for the best for both of us. Never should have helped her pay for the Bengal we got a month ago, now I'm out $1k.

IDK what to even cliff, so I guess we can do this AMA style.

Pic because I know how the misc operates.

Spoiler!

Do you still own a pitbull zacked?

p much how I felt after it was all done and still feeling. i'm sure the emotions will hit me later down the line, but I'm hoping since I saw it coming and was able to prepare it won't be too bad.yup I do. one of our biggest problems was that she never liked my dog, even though everyone else who met him did. Despite the stereotype, he really is a sweet guy who just chills all day long. Big red flag I should never have ignored, but she always denied that she hated him.

sorry to hear that brother but you are now free

was there any other indication this was coming or she completely caught you off guard when she said that to you on thursday?


keep your head up king

^ guess there was

Damn man. Did she give a reason at all?

I think for her to so quickly be mentally checked-out, she def has been going back and forth with the idea in her head for a while and, i don't wanna put any thoughts in your head, just reading her behavior from that i wouldn't be surprised if she's been monkey-branching the last few weeks.

Also got you back on r/c brother

Yeah we've had problems for a long time, always kinda rooted towards the same ish. She deals with a lot of anxiety and depression, and since we moved into our current spot she would always say that she was stuck in a rut emotionally. The only reason we didn't break up sooner was because I kept holding on hoping she'd be able to break out of it and be her previous self. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to and then, when she put that weight on my shoulders, I gave up.See above. I honestly don't believe she is the type to monkey branch, she is super Christian and really stands by her morals. She also refuses to socialize and has virtually no friends other than her family and a few that she knows from high school, all of whom are female. More likely, she's been prepping by venting to her family who all hate me because we broke up once before because I was being a dick, and they were probably gassing her up to do it.

Her main reasons were that she felt I was half-assing being there for her, and also was responsible for her anxiety/depression over the last 3 years. which is a bit much IMO. Granted, we did have an abortion 6 months into our relationship, so that weighed on her heavily because she's so christian. as far as being there for her, I very much restructured my life and interactions with my friends to prioritize her, but it wasn't enough. The final straw was on wednesday night, we were mid-fight, and she had said she'd be staying at her sisters that night. I went to play pool with a buddy, and as soon as I got there, she told me that the cat we had gotten together a month before was at the vet for shots and they found out the cat had an autoimmune disease. Didn't ask for me to be there, said she was gonna have her sister over, and apparently that was a chit test to see if I'd drop everything for her and be there. I failed lol.

there's your problem, my guy

My (now)ex dealt with the same thing. I feel like this shift in behavior is pretty prominent in people with anxiety/depression and especially border personality disorder. Once they feel like they are too complacent and stagnant in their day-to-day lives, their 'spark' just slowly fades until they fall back into their old patterns of behavior.I think that def may have been the case here, but ultimately it was her own decision to leave. I think give it a few weeks and she will 100% reach back out to you once she gets the 'congratulations girl yass!' applause from her family/friends and then realizes how empty she feels when she sees them all going back to living their lives.Oof similar situation with my now-ex too funny enough. She got an abortion with her ex of 7 years and that essentially destroyed their relationship since she wanted the baby and he didn't. I really wouldn't be surprised if her sister was the one that gassed her up into that stupid fukkin 'test' to use as a reason to break up with you since she essentially had no good reason to end things.

Are you a Christian as well?

Any prospects lined up?

Is there anything she was holding you back from that you can do now?

A lot of break-up threads lately, just in time for White-Boy Summer.....what a coincidence.


GO NC, she will surely be getting plowed by a dude name Bradd with tattoos and SoundCloud account.

I guarantee you she done monkey branch already and probably has had Tyrone sweet talking her ear.


Don't be a ****g0t when she contacts you a few months from now to "talk" when she started getting ragrets.

lol. It wasn't always like that, but as her mental health got worse, I had to sacrifice more and more to keep her happy. don't need to tell me that was a huge mistake, It was a constant inner conflict for myself to do so knowing what I know.See the previous post again, I added more lol. But yes, agreed. She was textbook in that she would constantly be looking for another bandaid/fix, and once that was acquired, it would only last for a while before a new one was needed.

Case in point: 9 months ago, she was sick and tired of living in my spot, demanded we move for her mental health. we did, and that didn't fix it. a month ago we got a cat ($2000 bengal because I'm highly allergic...and I paid half lmao @ me), and she said that would be a good help. that kinda helped, but it came with it's own problems. Then, before we broke up, we were trying to plan an anniversary trip, which she admitted to me while we were breaking up that she thought the anniversary trip would fix a lot of our problems.

On Friday, she was texting me very rationally, and we both agreed that we still cared about each other but that it was for the best we broke up. After Saturday, she wouldn't stop texting angrily, doing a complete 180. Wasn't the greatest stuff to hear/read, and I'm fairly confident a lot of it was inspired by her aunt (1 year younger) who had just broken up with her bf and is kind of a spiteful person. That said, she's very prideful, and I don't see her reaching out to apologize or continue any sort of conversation, which honestly is probably the best outcome. I didn't even respond to most of her texts, just said "I'm sorry you feel that way, I wish you the best".Lol no, not Christian at all. was raised Muslim, now agnostic.

No real prospects lined up, but with the lifestyle me and my roommates live I don't see it being too much of an issue. as far as holding me back...lots of stuff. Couldn't go on weekend motorcycle rides as much as I wanted, couldn't go offroading because it gave her anxiety, couldn't really hang out with my friends that much even though we lived with them.

We virtually spent all our time together aside from when I went to work. Weekday nights were with her, weekends we would hang with my friends for a couple hours or for a brunch, then she'd isolate me down in our room to have heavy convos, either about our relationship or about her family's past. she loved to dredge that stuff up whenever we were having a good time for some reason.

Lol I'm staying strong this time. We've already gotten back together once, and it turned to ****. Don't feel like doing that again.

Damn, you're a good poster.

Hope you find a new sloot and she tries to come crawling back

Aw fuk we keep missing each other's edits haha

Even as prideful as she is, I don't think it'll take long for her to reach out given how heated she feels about it, as well as your stoic replies back to her. I think she was expecting a more passionate/angry response from you basically making her feel like she's a prize not worth losing, but when you reacted in a level-headed way then her insecurities came out and self-esteem dropped to the point of "why the fukk isn't he upset over losing me doesn't he care about me?!"


From the sound of it you went about it in the best possible way you could have.

Also you just reminded me that my ex owes me $240 for the Xbox FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

lol appreciate it bro

all said and done, I truly do wish the best for her. she's got a lot of needs, and it became clear I wasn't the one who could fulfill those. not while maintaining my own self and happiness at least. But also fuk her because when she moved out she took my comforter, pillowcases, and bathmats lol.

I remember the day she came to grab her stuff, I asked if she wanted any help, or wanted me to hang out, or to just give her space while she collects it all. She asked for space. Then as soon as she left she was livid that I wasn't there for her while she "packed up the life we built together"Yup. She never really let it go, always held it against me and brought it up in fights even though at the time I had explicitly told her that I would support whatever decision she made, but that neither of us were anywhere near ready for a child, which she agreed with.

who tf is still chit-testing their SO 3 years into the relationship? lol

Lol I do agree with you in that she kept flip-flopping because she didn't get the response she wanted, which is why she went from friendly to hateful so quick. Told me I never cared and she finally has her answer lol. Sorry no, I'm just good at compartmentalizing and shutting off my feelings when I need to.

lmao @ the xbox. there were a few big purchases that she never paid me for, but I stopped mentioning them over the last few months because I saw the writing on the wall, and didn't want her to have any grounds to ask for me to pay her back once we did split.

Broooooo, there you go.

Have never heard one getting back together success story.

It also sounds like both of you have checked out of the relationship but nobody wanted to pull the trigger.

Nice pics.

congrats man. ded srs

Enjoy your new found freedom without having to worry about an emotionally unstable human.

Yup. I was the one who was weak back then and wanted her back. Don't see that happening this time with how it ended. The last time, I was drunk when she ended it and just let it happen, then woke up the next morning thinking WTF did I do.

I'd say your last statement is pretty accurate. I was probably more checked out than her by the time she called it. Going through the motions, but unhappy doing so.

One thing that always pissed me off was she made no effort to be closer to my friends, even though we lived with my two best friends and had other very close friends over all the time. She would always just pull me to the side when we were hanging out with them to talk 1 on 1, or she would just self-isolate in our room.

Once the relationship breaks, it'll never mend unless you're both desperate. The genuine, excitement and innocence will never be there again.

Anytime something bad happens (breakup, caught cheating, endless complaining, a feeling of the other being distant, etc.) it's best to just rip the band aid off, move on and close the door.

She's not a happy person and you CAN'T make her happy. Isolate you with deep talks.

You have been jailed and controlled more than you think. You've dodged a bullet. Don't even interact anymore.

Congrats, bruh. Now make the best version of you that you can.

Yup. between the abortion, the breakup, and her general anxiety and insecurities, the only excitement we really had was taking trips together. Even that was only temporary, and then once it was over it was time to plan another one.Agreed. I always tried to explain to her that even though I'd do what I could to help, her happiness wasn't my responsibility. Unfortunately she wasn't willing to do the work to improve herself, and just expected it to change either on it's own, or through someone else's actions. A couple months ago, she got put onto a new medication. Took it for 4 days, then quit because she wanted to be able to drink here and there. She didn't get the fact that 1) medications like that take a while to build up in the system and actually work and 2) refusing that in place of alcohol was not a healthy choice.

She also tended to isolate herself hard just in general. Never took walks during the day to get out of the house, just WFH in our room, then when i get home it was "I've been waiting for you all day to do something" like wut

Lmao, yep that's women for ya

Sounds like it's for the better--both of you weren't getting what you wanted and needed out of the relationship. And sometimes it's a problem of the person themselves needing to find what makes them happy instead of relying on an external relationship to.

Enjoy your freedom at present and I hope you'll find a better match the next time around when you feel ready.

Somebody that is just looking for any reason to justify ending things and making you out to be a bad guy in their eyes.Yeah I mean at this point I'm pretty much just gonna write it off as a loss, way I see it is that if it costs me $240 to keep her from manipulating me back in, then that's a small price to pay for salvation.

Appreciate it brotha, and yes exactly.

Here's hoping I can find a non-anxious/depressed LTC white bish. The mental health issues seems to be my type lol, or at least what's attracted to me.True lmao. yeah $240 is a pretty cheap lesson. My rent just doubled lmao. But I knew going into it that I would only move with her to somewhere i could afford the rent on my own in case anything happened.

Lol i remember one thing she said while we were fighting the night before, she claimed I manipulated her into moving in with my friends, because she was salty she wasn't on the lease and said I never talked to her about it. But I distinctly remember us both deciding I would be on the lease in case anything happened, so she wouldn't be stuck living with my two best friends. Would have much rather stayed where I was and kept paying $500/month, rather than double, and now triple the cost. But tbh living with my friends post-breakup has been awesome, great way to stay distracted.

Yes it is haha oh well.

See that's the huge thing man, having that support system around you where they know you well enough to take you out of spiral-mode and force you to get your spirits up.
The older I get the more I realize just how important having a tight-knit social circle and good friends is.

Yup 100%

She even mentioned saturday how "heartless" I was to be upstairs casually laughing with my friends while it was all going down. Like I'm not gonna sit in a corner and be miserable about it. I'm gonna distract myself and focus on the positives.

She would also always get so mad that I considered my friends family, even though she did the same with her close friends. Never made any sense. I believe she saw my friends as a threat to my time/energy I put into her.