forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study Mechanical Engineering at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American video game and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i **** this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass

i raise you:



On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag.
I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.
I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don't want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don't. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?

Friends had set me up on a blind date sort of date thingy. Well the chick comes over to my house and I recognize her instantly because I've ha a few classes with her but never really talked. Well we turn out hitting it off immediately and are sitting on the couch laughing and **** like that. We start inching closer and getting a little physical. I'm eating Cheetos with one hand and have my other hand around her. All of a sudden she grabs my Cheetos hand and shoves it down her pants! I still have a Cheeto in my hand but she doesn't notice because her eyes are closed and she's muttering "just work your magic broseidon, I've never been with a man before". I'm a forever alone virgin so I begin rubbing her clit like the misc wanted me to do. She starts moaning and tells me to put a finger inside her. I go full retard and grab the Cheeto that was in my Han and start moving it in and out of her vagina like a dildo. She starts moaning more but completely stops and pulls my hand out of her panties with the Cheeto between my fingers. She screamed "wtf are you doing!?!?" I felt so fukking awkward but I tried to remain alpha so I muttered out "I'm dddaaannnngerously cheesy" she says "wtf is wrong with you?!?" And stormed out. She hasn't tol any of our friends yet and hasn't texted me back. What do?

Good evening,

During the course of this year I have done extensive research on the misc. I put forward a paper for review at my university, currently it is under scrutiny. However, I would like to share with you my findings. Please note this is one hundred percent scientific fact. I present the cliffs in no particular order:

1) OP is always a ****g0t. Some disagreements arise, but generally it is an accepted truth that the OP is a ****g0t.

2) The poster above you, and the poster below you, always lifts more than you. Whether it is bench press or the squat, the majority of miscers will lift more than you.

3) Following on from point (2) above; Miscers generally lift either 50-150lbs more than you lift - OR - lift your weight for at least twice as many repititions.

4) Following from the above it may seem like there exists a paradox, that all miscers are stronger than you are no matter how strong you seem to be. This is not true. Research indicates that in the Misc paradoxical situations do not exist.

5) All Miscers regardless of weight, status, class, race, etc have "smashed" at least 3 'legit' 9/10's. Furthermore, most Miscers are experts on women, which nicely introduces the next point...

6) Miscers believe there is no such thing as a 10/10. This may be true, for beauty is subjective, but the difference in the Misc is that in fact most women are not even 7's. Research data indicates that most women are 6's, and very few women go above this number. This is because...

7) Miscers are all extremely attractive and/or have the best game. Those miscers who admit otherwise cannot legitimately call themselves miscers because they either leave or are never accepted. The method of not being accepted is commonly called the "neg train".
8) Reps/Negs is directly proportional to either:
- Intelligence
- Knowledge on a given topic
- Lifting ability
- Awesomeness.
This is absolutely true. Those with high reputation are always better than you in some way or another. Similarly, those in "the red" are not to be taken seriously and should be shunned.

9) Putting the word "serious" (or "srs") legitimately makes a certain thread or statement an absolute truth or indeed a 'code red' matter than has no element of hilarity or falsehood about it. This "srs" tag over rides all logic.

10) Similarly, "no homo" immediately makes others aware that the poster is not homosexual no matter what the content. Indeed, a real life example would be to engage in homosexual practise with the phrase "no homo" written on ones forehead and walk away with public opinion being that you are not in the slightest homosexual.

11) Genetics are everything. This is especially true for black people.(no racist)

12) Steroids are everything. This is especially true if you're physique is extremely good.

13) Putting "natty" in your thread immediately validates you as a natural bodybuilder. Again, even if tests were to be done, this word over-rides science.

14) Pictures and gifs settle all arguments. They do what no words could ever do, and generally a picture is really worth a thousand words.

15) Anything that is not said within a sentence or two is too long and will not be read. Research suggests that at some point in the future all posts will be a mere 5 letters long.

16) All Miscers have a penis size of at least 8 inches, though this falls on the smaller end of the scale.

17) Repping is a two way street. Getting reps without ever giving is a no no. One should always give back reps to those who repped you. Otherwise, you are stingy and/or a *******. However, repping just to be repped back is extremely ******* behavior. Repping whilst quoting rule 17 is discouraged.

18) The likelihood of new members receiving negative reputation points simply for creating a new thread - however valid or interesting - is very high.
For example, a new member with 0 reputation points and few posts might create an entertaining or highly informative thread that generates several pages of constructive responses. However, if one were to later check the OP's reputation points, one would notice that she/he is now in the deep red.

Based on this phenomenon, we can extrapolate the following axioms:

1) It is highly advisable for new members to not create any new threads until they have firmly established positive reputation.

2) The above may be accomplished by "laying low," so to speak - remaining "under the radar" as it were - by minimizing inflammatory or nonsensical comments and restricting new posts to insightful or comedic observations.

3) None of this applies to threads containing pictures of 3/4's-naked women.

19) Posting that which has already been posted shall immediately place special emphasis on point #1. Further more, miscers are duty bound to call "Repost" and attempt to string together "R..", "E..", etc. until "REPOST" is spelled in consecutive posts. OP is subject to ridicule and negs until the thread is deleted or quietly falls to page five.
20) All new female accounts are to be regarded as fake. All posts by said female accounts are to met with responses such as "Get the **** back in the kitchen", "Who let you out of the kitchen", and "****, you better make me a sandwich". Validity of the new female accounts is not to be recognized by male misc members until said female heeds the commands of the required response "Spoon pic of tits or gfto" by all male miscers. The chance of females members folding to the demands of male miscers to post nudes can be regarded as a scientific constant at 100%, because all females are attention hungry **** shavers. Monetary gain courtesy of misc white knights for posting nudes is not unheard of, see Sam08 for reference material.

21) No matter how much of a good point a new Miscer makes when insulting and/or negging a poster; new Miscer will be outranked by older Miscer and negged. For example please see post #33 and the response in post #35.

22) Every so often some new Miscer gets really keen on the whole "Misc comradery" and starts a thread similar, but not limited to, the following:
- I really like the Misc, thanks guiz
- Let's start a Bro Code 4da Misc please contribute
- Misc I'm so glad I'm here
Some posters take it easy on such miscers; some neg into oblivion for being a "*******". Research suggests that (1) [above] plays out and the "neg train" phenomenon occurs.

23) Threads about or related to "The Misc sucks now"/ "Misc used to be so epic"/"Anyone with a join date of XX" are always created to draw attention to a members join date and are, in fact, not about the quality of the misc.

24)AVI Spam: Whenever a user has picture of a beta ******* (usually assumed troll) Users will copy their profile pic and spam the thread with it. In most cases the pic being spammed will have the users face included too. In most cases you will be scrolling the topic for a long time looking at the same pic over and over. and most likely people will call out the troll in the pic for being a beta *******.

25) It is deemed fundamental for any OP to post pictures of any and all females mentioned in the OP. Failure to do so will be met with demands and humorous responses as to why they are unable to see such pics, failure to deliver said pics by the second page will always result in negs and/or thread derailment. Most, if not all, threads with pictures must include the tagline 'pics'.

26) 350, also commonly expressed as "Tree Fiddy" is regarded the infallible amount pertaining to any question that can be answered numerically. For example:
Q: Misc how much do you bench? A: Tree Fiddy
Q: How much does Whey Cost? A: Tree Fiddy
Q: How much would 50cent and an Evergreen weigh together? Tree Fiddy (wait wut? word play *******)

27) People who make posts/threads on specific topics and have stats which are laugh worthy, will ALWAYS be posted, no matter what the subject is. Stats in this regard are important. Particularly when the respective Miscer is giving advice on working out and/or negging someone based on something to do with nutrition/bodybuilding/working out/etc. Posting stats is a trump card and wins all arguments; overriding gifs and jpgs. For example:
Miscer: STFU ******* squats don't do shiit
Miscer #2: Stats 6'2" 160lbs

28) Useful information pertaining to Clive: 18 inch biceps (or "cliveceps") are the universal standard benchmark for all biceps. Speculation exists in some academic circles about the nature of Clive's biceps as to whether or not even Ronnie Coleman himself would admire Clives biceps.

29) Any thread, no matter the content, will reach 4-5 pages if made by a well-known user or troll - Germanic, Zyzz, franchise16, Forge3 for example. In fact, an untested Hypothesis says that a thread created by Zyzz containing just the letter "I" will reach 5 pages within 4 minutes in the Misc. This is sometimes called the Z-Page phenomenon.

30) All Miscers are professional fighters in at least one discipline. UFC, Karate, Boxing are the usual favourites. Similarly, all Miscers are able to beat each other up in a fight. Some Miscers claim to be 8th degree black belt from the shaolin temple of Affliction.

31) Spoons must accompany pictures or authenticity is questionnable.
These are just my findings, please feel free to add more.
Thank you for your time.