The clock strikes 2pm but Noliberals4 did not wake from the sound of an alarm. His alarm is the sound of loud voices outside his apartment in Lee Walker Heights, a housing project on the south side of town, right off the bus line.

His neighbors,the fellas, just woke up minutes prior and immediately congregated outside to shoot the breeze, Philly blunts in hand. It's Monday afternoon. Twelve fatherless children are playing nearby as marijuana smoke floats through the air.

"I smell a skunk," one of the children remarks.

Noliberals4 soon joins the crowd, but only for a minute. The bus is due to arrive at 2:15 and his day of trolling can't begin without a couple Colt 45s.

The bus arrives, Noliberals4 boards and soon arrives to the local Food Mart, a small, run-down building with bars on the windows. A once fine establishment sixty years ago.

25 minutes until the next bus arrives, leaving some time to kill. Nolibs4 hops on the store's video poker machines. The time goes by fast. Nolibs grabs some smokes, two 40 oz Colts, three bags of chips, and a few candy bars. He goes to pay. His total? $21.62. He whips out a plastic card with an American flag that reads "benefits security card" on the front. That covers his snacks, then he pulls out seven wrinkled one-dollar bills and a five that was torn in half but taped back together, to cover the alcohol and cigarettes.

His bus arrives. He timed it perfectly.

Nolibs4 arrives back home minutes later, eager to jump on his Obama laptop. He immediately connects to his Obama broadband, ConnectHome, and begins his trolling routine.

First web site up? Bodybuilding.com. User name: Noliberals4; password: live2troll

He immediately goes to the MISC and clicks "start new thread." Thread Title:Trump is not going to win. Then fills the body of the thread will fake polls pulled from CNN. A cheeky grin on his face. "Heh heh," he utters while sipping on his 40.

He then opens up four more tabs in his browser. His trolling is just getting started.

Tab #1, DemocraticUnderground.com, user name: Noconservatives4
Tab #2, Strmfrnt.com, user name: Noblacks4
Tab #3, TheC0li.com, user name: Nowhites4
Tab #4, Reddit.com, user name: Nocismales4

And promptly posts a bait thread to each of them. He lets out a loud CHUCKLE and while he waits for the triggering to commence, he notices the mailman outside - it's 3:15pm. A rush of excitement consumes him. It's the first of the month - benefit checks should be in.


to be continued...

...continued


Nolibs4 grabs his mail. His benefits check is sitting there, as expected. As he's walking back to his apartment in glee, his Obama phone rings. It's Hardee's. They want an interview.

Nolibs4: Hello?
Hardees Manager: Yes Mr. Nolibs, we received your application and would like to discuss your future here.
Nolibs4 (pretending the call is breaking up): I'm s---ry, b--t I... can't hear y---u.

And promptly hangs up, then lets out a loud CHUCKLE. "The welfare office can't say I'm not looking for work..." he says to himself. "...trolling's a full-time job, heh heh..."


to be continued...

...continued


As Nolibs4 approaches his apartment door, a car parked nearby catches his eye. It's a brand new, black Lincoln Town Car, which stands out from the Kias and old Crown Vic police interceptors on 24 inch rims lined up and down the parking lot. "Whatever" he thinks to himself and proceeds back into his apartment.

He sits down at his computer and much to his pleasure but not surprise, he sees his BB.com thread has already received dozens of replies. "It's too easy..." he scoffs. Trolling is nothing to Nolibs4. After years of trial and error, he's got it down to a science. He's even written an ebook he distributes on the dark net.

As he furiously pecks away at his keyboard, a deep, slow voice behind him says:


"Nice troll job.""Nice troll job."


Nolibs4 jerks around in a panic and sees three men. One very elderly man is standing in between two young, jacked, military-style gentlemen in suits. Obvious body guards.

Nolibs4: What the f*ck?!

Old Man: Ah, how the world has changed. When I was your age I had to troll in Morse code. It wasn't easy rustling Churchill's jimmies with a bunch of dots.

A look of confusion on Nolibs4's face.

Nolibs4: OK...? Who are you, old man?

The old man sighs...

Old Man: You know who I am........... say my name.



Nolibs4: Do what? I don't.... I don't have a damn clue who you are.

Old Man: Yeah, you do............ I'm the man who broke the Bank of England.


Silence ensues. And then suddenly..... it hits him. Nolibs4 comes tothe realization. The troll of all trolls is before him.

Old Man: That's right. Now...........................say my name.





Nolibs4: You're George Soros.


Soros: You're goddamn right.


To be continued...

...continued


"You're a promising up-and-comer in the troll game," Soros said. "How would you like to come work for me?"

Nolibs4 is in disbelief. He's unsure how to feel. On one hand, he enjoys waking up past noon and trolling all hours of the night on the government's dime (Thanks Obama!). On the other hand, Soros' offer has him intrigued. He wants to know more.

"Doing what?" Nolibs replies.

Soros explains his offer in greater detail. "I'm setting up a US-based troll farm. My operation in Russia got BTFO."

"I read about that. How'd you manage to make it look like they were helping Trump?" Nolibs asked.

"That's not important. What is important is that you accept my offer and help me disrupt the United States, for which you will be paid very well. Do you accept?"

Nolibs nods yes.

"That's a good **** remarked Soros. He had no doubt. Any troll would be a fool not to accept his offer.

Soros continues...

"I've already began formulating your team. You're in charge of the entire farm, but you will report directly to me." said Soros. "The Field Operations Manager, your number two, is a man you know quite well: NYPat."

YES! Nolibs can't hold his excitement. He and NYPat have conducted dozens of troll operations together, and still do to this day. Their online reputation precedes them. Feeling cocky, Nolibs is already making recommendations.

"If I can make a suggestion, Mr. Soros..." says Nolibs. "There's someone on the BB.com forum that shows promise. He'd make a great addition to the team: SillieBazzillie."

Soros scoffs. "He's not a troll, just a cuck. Let's stay on task." Soros dismisses the suggestion immediately.

A disappointed Nolibs backs off, not wanting to push it. He doesn't want to talk himself out of the position. He's grateful just to be considered by the billionaire troll.

The two iron out all the details and Nolibs4 begins packing. The operation requires him to re-locate to the southern United States, a place very hostile to libcuck trolls. He's aware his safety will be in danger, but he's up for the challenge. The possibility of seeing his communist ambitions realized gives him a sense of purpose again. He finishes his last 40, and resumes packing.


It's 7pm



to be continued...

ok, I'm going to need a backstory here...

Great thread, AlfBundy. The SilliBazzillie part really had me laughing.

Noliberals4 is one of the most notorious liberal trolls in the R/P section. He has nearly 23,000 posts and is still red since 2015.

I hope I make a cameo appearance.

Grazie!

I don't really R&P unless I go there to neg that chit smearing tranny cawk sucker...

...continued


It's 8am the next morning. Nolibs4 wakes up by alarm clock for the first time in nine years. The last time something so rare happened, it was the morning of his 18th birthday. He woke up bright and early not to go to school, but to get his drop-out papers filed with the county government. "Obama'll pay my bills," he said.

Packed and ready to go, a groggy Nolibs4 catches the bus to the local Greyhound station and makes way for Columbia, South Carolina, home of Soros' troll farm. It's just him and his backpack.

The Greyhound makes its way down I95 - Nolibs stares out the window. He reminiscences in his head about some of his greatest troll jobs. He remembers one job in particular that in some ways brings him great pride, but in others, great sadness. It was his very first project, and it wasn't executed behind a keyboard. It was inspired by an event that changed him forever - an event that shaped him into the bitter troll he is today. It was a pivotal moment in Nolib's life, a time when he knew true happiness. It was his Rosebud.


NINE YEARS EARLIER

It's Friday night. Nolibs4 is on a date. He arrives at the local movie theater to find his girlfriend, Becky, waiting for him on the bench inside. An 80s song plays in the lobby.


♫...I walk along the city streets you used to walk along with me...♫


Nolibs and Becky hug, he buys a few snacks and they head into the movie together. Nolibs was completely in the moment and cared about nothing else. Becky was Nolib4's first girlfriend and he was completely in love.


♫...Well, how can I forget you, girl? When there is always something there to remind me...♫


Of course Becky had been through over thirty guys before she found Nolibs, including half of the high school football team, but what Nolibs didn't know wouldn't hurt him. But Becky was trying to make a change. She wanted to settle down and find a "good guy," a provider, and Nolibs was it.

The rest of the night went smoothly. The two eventually parted ways and Nolibs slept like a baby.

The next day rolls around. The two have another date planned that night, but Nolibs wanted to surprise her with flowers at her home an hour beforehand, so that's what he did.


♫...And I can't help recalling how it felt to kiss and hold you tight...♫


As planned, Nolibs caught the bus and arrived to Becky's apartment early. He knocked on the door, flowers in hand.

No one answered.

"Hm," a confused Nolibs thought. He knew she was home - she was just texting him. He figures she's in the shower, getting ready for their date. Anxious to surprise her, he lets himself in.


♫...Well, how can I forget you, girl? When there is always something there to remind me...♫


As Nolibs makes his way to Becky's room, he hears commotion. Suddenly he hears a familiar sound. A sound he only knows during their most intimate of moments...


*CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!*


"What the ****?" Nolibs thought. He proceeds. His curiosity is piqued. We then hear Becky's voice:

"Oh, **** that little pussy! Oh....my GOD!" Becky screams.

Nolibs4 is in shock. He clandestinely opens the door, and there it is...

It's a Tyrone...penetrating the love of his life. The two are completely unaware of Nolibs's presence. He's devastated. A flurry of emotion consumes him: anger, disappointment, loss, revenge....and eventually, arousal.


A libcuck troll is born.