So I’ve been dating someone seriously and we are very much in love and exclusive. Anyway we went away last weekend. She got drunk and brought up how an old doctor boss when she was in college and worked at a office from like 7 years ago texted her he’s in the area wanting to see her dinner whim she claims is”old and married “Long story short I said that’s weird and didn’t really like the idea of it and she agreed she wouldn’t. She made plans to see This dude next to me on our vacation before finally telling me after getting drunk. Anyway the next day I say you know what you can see him if you really want to that bad just let me know if you guys make plans to sorry for over reacting. Fast forward last night. I finally meet her best friends have a good night. Her and i go go her car to take a little. I bring up the dude and if she made plans to see him. She said she did text him and she said she could only do a lunch and he said he couldn’t.something knew she was lying so I said let me see the text. She refused to show me. She only showed me after I said if you don’t we are done. She always says I can look at her phone whenever I want but I never once have chosen to do so. As soon as she refused and looked terrified I knew it was over. I looked at the text, he now has a context name, on the vacation he was just a number( she deleted it before deciding to tell me when she was drunk). The text was like him double texting her saying hey are we still on? She replies. Heyy yes we are, sorry I was at a cabin with no service! (Never ever mentioning with her boyfriend)I’m in a wedding this weekend so I don’t have a lot of time “ I can do lunch this week though , but I know you probably don’t want to drive just for lunch” lol so he never said he couldn’t do lunch. She literally said it first. He replied okay. Can you do a “late “ dinner drink the following week ? She replied yess I can do a late date sept 12…. So she literally lied to my face saying she asked to do lunch and he said he can’t and she said that was the end of the convo. Am I crazy or is this a relationship ending thing. ? I know it’s misc but please be serious.

Neithger of you seem mature enough for a real relationship, so yes.

Yeah she lied so that's a red flag.

But most mature relationships you do not need to police each others phones and you just use your gut to determine if you trust them or not.

Someone who's in a relationship should not be meeting up with people of the opposite sex to hang out with one on one. You did nothing wrong saying that you weren't comfortable with it. I would not be ok with that in my relationship and I wouldn't even think of doing that myself. The fact that she lied is a biggie as well. I personally would end it.

I completely agree man. Especially someone you see once a year ? I’m done

I know. I never have in my life. My gut said this is wrong and she’s lying. I just needed proof if I was going to end things which I got

You let your woman date other men?

Agree completely. My Ex tried this chit constantly.

"Oh he's just a friend." "It's not like that."

But if I ever tried that chit she would go absolute batchit on me.

Bruh right ?”just a friend “ he’s “old” come to find out he’s in his late 30s lol. She constantly accused me of cheating, liking her friends, ect. Constantly. If any person guy or girl constantly thinks you’re cheating it’s for one reason , because they are , so they subconsciously think you are too.

My favorite was, "he's not my type."



Yet she spent more time with him/talking to him than she did me.

Just remember you chose her, and you were doubting yourself when you started this thread.

Trust your gut and don't settle for someone who doesn't show you respect in the future.

Yeah that's crazy that she thought that was ok. I treat people the way I want to be treated so I don't do any shady stuff.This is not necessarily true. Some people have been cheated on which causes trust issues. If they haven't been cheated on in the past then yes, if they're that suspicious I'd say they're doing something shady.

I think what he's getting at is people tend to project their issues onto others. If they are doing something shady, regardless of how severe, they will tend to justify it by finding an issue with something their partner is doing (even if they aren't actually doing anything).

Then when they are confronted about it, "well you were doing X."

yes, if I am you OP I am out.

the only reasonable thing she could've done, if she really wants to see this dude, was say hey my new boyfriend and I are in town lets all get together. That's the only way this stuff works. And then I bet you the guy backs off and turns up "busy" suddenly because of COURSE he's not trying to meet the new BF, he just wants to try and hook up.

hiding it and setting it up, then feeling guilty and telling you later, THEN being shady about cancelling/rescheduling? get outta here.

Female hypergamy at its finest.

Never, ever take this girl seriously again.

yup, should end it right then and there

lol @ your woman hooking up alone with random men. the fact she lied about it means she knew it was wrong. even on the off chance it was just to "catch up". you just don't do that chit out of respect of the relationship you have with your SO. don't do shady chit that arouses suspicion.

if she really wanted to see him and insisted this is just a business only thing, she would have invited you to come along.

Man 100% all I had to see in those text was “sorry I didn’t reply for a day I was away for the weekend. With my BOYFRIEND. the fact she left that out is the worst part when she loves telling people she’s dating as do I.

That’s exactaly what I said. The only reason I can think you’re so desperate and risking us to meet this man is the little sliver of hope that you could marry a doctor. 100%. I’m almost certain that’s the case. Is that what you mean by your comment ?

100% But nope. She never mentions me. When she had the perfect opportunity to. I think she wanted to date a doctor

Bump

Did you end it?