Long story short (dear diary):

-Girl in my dental school class and I had been close platonic friends since basically day 1.
-Remain purely platonic friends for about 3.5 years, then for a number of reasons start flirting heavily/DMing each other while on different clinical rotations
-Plan a weekend together, end up sleeping with each other at end of night. She says it's the first time she's had sex in 8 months. She's always been adamant about how she can't handle casual sex.
-Next week is spring break, she wants to visit my home city. We spend the whole day together, she says this is technically our "second date"
-Spend next weekend together, sleep with each other again, I stay over at her place
-She starts mentioning to our mutual friends/classmates that we're hooking up/seeing each other
-Four days ago texting me about how much she wants to sleep on my chest/how much she misses me
-A lot of our friends plan to go to a bar/comedy show last night. Out of nowhere she texts the group chat that some guy is picking her up
-Some buff manlet shows up with her. I don't have tickets to the show so I leave.
-She goes out to a club afterwards with the dude. Keeps texting asking me to come, but is posting stories with this other guy. I ignore her.
-Later learn she met this dude off of a dating app.

Right before we slept together the first time she said "if we do this, this can't make things weird between us," and I agreed. But it seemed like it was moving in the direction of a relationship, her sending good morning/good night texts, talking non-stop until a few days ago. She also talked a lot about how (unlike some of our mutual friends) she can't date/sleep around, she just wants to fall in love. We never mentioned exclusivity, but once we slept together I just stopped talking to other girls because I wanted to see how this played out.

Idek why this annoys me so much. If it was some random tinder thot I'd assume she's dating/talking to multiple guys at once, but I guess I didn't expect it from her since I've known her so long. She's never even been on dating apps before. One of my closest friends said weeks ago not to get too invested in her since it risks ruining the friendship, and a lot of us have thought that she's not super mature with her dating habits in general. But a close mutual friend said he thought she was moving in the right direction when she and I started "dating."

Idk, I honestly didn't think we'd end up official just because graduation is so soon and our plans will have us hours from each other. Maybe a hit to the ego more than anything. Some mutual friends have privately texted me asking what happened between us, they thought we were going to be a couple, etc etc, and they see why I'm annoyed with it all.

What does misc think?

Would go NC srs

Man u just asked & went on with it anyway smh ok im readin hold up.

She playing some game bro. I would just ask her what was that all about thought we had smth? I kinda got jealous ngl.

If she just wanted to see if you get jealous you got that covered w that. Most likely reason for this bs

NEVERMIND OP SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS

This. It's the hard tooth, sorry truth..

You obviously had different interpretations of what was going on than she did, which sucks but it happens. I'd cut her out and just enjoy the fact you got to bang her a couple of times.

You're better off not even dealing with the inevitable drama that would come once she gets pumped and dumped by enough Tinder guys.

No idea why you'd ever bother talking to that sloot again, tbh.

Also, how many stories like this do we need to hear before all of the misc starts to accept that dudes and chicks can't be "just friends"?


...and how many times do we need to tell you to stop taking a chick's stories about her sexual past at face value? Take it with a grain of salt, because they always minimize it big time.

______ gonna _____

Misc will be full of immature responses so be selective in what you read.


Honestly, the mature answer is no, you should probably let this slide. It's not fantastic, it may be a SLIGHT red flag, but in all reality you two haven't had a talk about exclusivity yet. If you two think there could be something there (which is usually worth knowing/finding out), talk about it with her. Just tell her maybe you two should try it out, see if she's down to be exclusive and take this seriously for a month or two.


If she does stuff like this after that talk, yes, of course. That's a red flag and worthy of ending unless you got some sign/reason to think you shouldn't, but if you haven't had that talk, no, don't end a possibility because of this. You two aren't exclusive yet.

OP caught feels lol

It's not a big deal and no reflection on u as a person whatsoever

Chit happens

Sounds like you were into her the whole 3.5 years, she finally let you take a ride after she had a dry spell, it was nothing to her but obviously something to you, and then she found someone she actually wanted and didn't even give you a courtesy heads up about it.

Shows how high you are on her totem pole.

The second you said "she said she can't handle ons" I just pictured her going through it and the rest of the story was going to go how I envisioned, which it did

I don't like this sloot. Sounds like she doesn't know who she is and is searching for something even if you did get into a relationship.

I remember you were hard-core "not every girl is a sloot" so kinda funny how she slipped by you

This

She doesn't respect u at all OP

Again don't sweat it ... no big deal srs

This. Its a redflag sure, but most likely she just being a young sloot playing young sloot games. I think she wants you OP. telling the friends kinda seals the deal.

Pro tip.

Listening to women is a waste of time. They will just say whatever comes in their head at the time without thinking it through or even much logic to it. To avoid this, just dont pay attention to much. Just sort of look in their direction and act like you are paying attention.

makes life way easier.

You have the right to be upset. It did seem like you two were building something together. It might have played differently if you two would have had a conversation about expectations.


“She's always been adamant about how she can't handle casual sex. ” <— This was obviously a cope.

Women never become better about their slooty behavior as they get older/claim to be in a committed relationship... they just get better at hiding it.

No, because the girl would have had to bring it up... which she didn't, which means she doesn't like OP that much

If OP would have brought this exclusivity chat up she would have instinctively thought he was pathetic

She's just kinda immature. I've dealt with this stuff before, it's not like you're "exclusive", but still a girl should have some care for your own feelings and at least do her dating away from you.

You don't have to go full NC, but just take some time to separate yourself. She said, "It can't get weird between us" as a way of telling you that you're in the friend zone. You made it weird by catching a touch of feels.

Gotta give yourself a bit of time away from her to break the feels. But you don't have to go NC.

Did you agree to a committed relationship?

She's allowed to have male friends, who cares if he's on a dating app, she can do all the manlets she wants if you haven't agreed to a committment.

This

I just read the post again. Yeah that girl a hoebag

Eh, it's enough to be annoyed, sure. But that's about it. As a few others have pointed out, you weren't exclusive, so she doesn't owe you chit. She's a free woman and can do what she pleases, and that includes going on dates (and getting smashed) by buff manlets.

Just because she said she can't handle casual sex doesn't mean chit. Newsflash - people (including girls) lie. She probably just said that to save face because she didn't want you (and everyone else) knowing she's a sloot. She probably doesn't give a chit anymore since you're all about to graduate.

Like Brad pointed out, this doesn't reflect badly on you at all. You did all the right chit. And that doesn't mean she did anything wrong, since you both aren't exclusive (even if you're "dating", which she probably told people so she doesn't look like a sloot when your social circle finds out you two have been sleeping together) so she doesn't owe you exclusivity. It was kind of a dick move for her to bring the buff manlet out of the blue, but it's probably because she's playing games and wanted to see if you'd fight for her attention (lmao pls go jeff) which is a red-flag if you ask me.

Keep your head up king. Charge this one to the game and never forget the golden rule (see krackerjacked's sig)

yes you do

she was the best man

You're annoyed because your feels got hurt. She started selling you the dream (low body count, good girl, doesn't like ONS, wants a relationship bla bla bla) and you fell for it, started to like her and then she was on some other dik as soon as you weren't around.

Look at her actions, not what she says.

She's not GF material. I'd keep her around to smash if she's hot/good in bed, otherwise next it.

It's over

She can't date a manlet if she's.....

Fbi got to me and is knocking on door, but you nom sayin.

Lol, I honestly wasn't (was super hung up on an ex for the first two years of dental school, this girl in the OP kissed me/tried to date me first year but I didn't reciprocate then). But I jumped on a cycle of dat dere several months ago, got a lot of confidence/got bigger, stopped being a b*tch and flirted with her, she reciprocated immediately.

The lack of courtesy thing annoys me a lot tho NGL. I was talking to some girls on Hinge and said I started seeing a classmate and that I wanted to see how things progressed with her.

She's close friends with another girl who asked me out to some medical/dental prom type event. This girl is a massive sloot, she was all over me that night and then texted me the next morning that her ex-husband was pissed about all the photos she posted with me (she's only 25 too). Apparently she was also dating a 40-yr-old guy while grinding on me at that event, who she is still with. My friend says this girl has cheated on him. Birds of a feather flock together, I think she's a bad influence on my classmate.

My closest friend in dental school has always said he thinks this classmate is immature/just likes attention. He also said he doesn't think either she or I are the commitment types right now. In hindsight I think he was more right than I wanted to admit.

Also because nobody has asked......

Where
Are
The
Fukin
Pics?

Ty brother. I may be a hypocrite; I did sext this one tinder girl a couple times since classmate and I started sleeping together. But haven't met up with anyone else since. And I think you're right about her wanting me to fight for her attention. Continually inviting me out last night to come with her to the club when I'm 70 pounds/7 inches bigger than this dude she walked in with.

She's been snapping me/sending memes all day, I've just been leaving her on read. Part of me wonders if she even knows I'm annoyed, but nobody can be that oblivious.

I had zero intent of becoming official with her, but may have caught feelings for her more than I want to admit since she and I have been so close since day 1.

Look, you and her saw the relationship headed totally different directions. You thought things were getting serious, and you were just another dude in her fukkk buddy rotation.

Yeah, she did mislead you big time, and that sucks. The thing is though, that behavior is so common in women, you just can't be too surprised by it.