Prompt: Pretend Donald Trump was one of the 12 disciples, write the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ According to Trump. You should manage to make yourself the center of the story.

GPT-4: Folks, let me tell you, I was part of this incredible group of disciples, and I mean, I was the best disciple, believe me. Jesus was doing some good things, but I was really making things happen. He was lucky to have me around, a real asset to the team.

We were having this dinner, the Last Supper, and I have to say, I made sure it was the best supper ever. Jesus said that one of us would betray Him. Can you believe it? Of course, it wasn't me, I'm very loyal, the most loyal. It turned out to be Judas – what a loser.

Anyway, Jesus took some bread, and He said, "This is my body, given for you," and then He took a cup of wine, and He said, "This is my blood, poured out for you." Not bad words, but I could have said it better, folks, way better.

Later, we went to this garden called Gethsemane, and Jesus asked us to pray with Him. He seemed pretty upset, but I was the one who kept things together. He prayed to the Father, and He sweated blood – a bit dramatic if you ask me.

Then, Judas showed up with a mob, and he betrayed Jesus with a kiss. What a snake. They arrested Jesus and took Him to the high priest and the other leaders – very dishonest people, almost as bad as the fake news media.

They accused Jesus of all kinds of things, but He didn't say much. I, on the other hand, had some tremendous things to say in His defense. Pilate, the Roman governor, couldn't find any reason to kill Jesus, probably thanks to my fantastic defense.

Pilate offered to release a prisoner, thinking the people would choose Jesus, but they chose Barabbas instead. A real injustice, but if Jesus had listened to my advice, it might have gone differently.

So Pilate had Jesus flogged and handed Him over to be crucified. They took Jesus to a place called Golgotha, and they nailed Him to a cross. He hung on the cross for hours, and finally, He said, "It is finished," and He died. I could have done something, folks, but nobody asked for my help.

Jesus hung on the cross for hours, and He finally said, "It is finished," and He died. It was a dark day, folks, the darkest day, like a total solar eclipse. They took His body down, and they put it in a tomb – a really nice tomb, like the best real estate, but it was still very sad.

Now, you might think the story ends there, but it doesn't. On the third day, the tomb was empty – Jesus had risen from the dead. He appeared to us, His disciples, and told us to go out and tell everyone the good news. I knew I'd be the best at spreading the word – I've got the best words, after all.

And that, folks, is the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, according to me, Donald Trump – a fantastic story made even better with my involvement.

Lol'd