Evening gents I am here to provide a few points ahead of the forthcoming celebration of ladies who have frontally discharged infants and here it is so first and foremost for the husbands buying gifts for wives you should consider buying at least one piece of clothing and when doing so buy a size small regardless of the reality of her actual size in that receiving the item she will think you view her as being petite and happily exchange the item for something off the manatee rack as opposed to receiving a drop cloth purchased from Home Depot and realizing you recognize it was indeed her who farted out the nostril obliterating mud mamba that clogged the toilet so badly several hours of you aggressively plungering with your blue oyster cult live in Provincetown 1978 tshirt pulled up over your nose had absolutely no effect whatsoever and beyond that strongly consider preemptively lubricating your toilet drains this evening as surely your fat ass mother will be making an appearance at your home this weekend and probably blasting a potential clogger so might as well play defense ok well that is all happy Mother’s Day all

I would've appreciated this being formatted in 2-3 paragraphs.

Happy mother's day though brah.

Do you fkn know who youre talking to right now? The legend will format how he damn well likes.

Calm down. Miscers should always keep it straight with each other.

You will respect the op and his formatting.

If your wife is fat, purposely buying her some clothing 2 sizes too small is a really good way of telling her to lose some lard. She would never have the heart to say it won't fit, so it might urge her to get off her fat ass.