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» Have you ever had a very long friendship end - if so what happened?
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post 1682714703 05-14-2023, 06:32 PM
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  1. TOUCHEDbyMany
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Have you ever had a very long friendship end - if so what happened?

I've known this guy since I was 7. Grew up in the same area, attended the same schools. I spoke to him almost daily for 20 years. I thought it was really cool as not many people are still friends with their childhood friend. After university I'd always invite him to hang out but he would decline. I just thought that's him - he is very reserved and also has a very serious girlfriend. We still maintained contact online - always speaking about sports, work etc. I genuely cared for the guy.

Over the years though he would leave me on read/seen a lot. I found it disrespectful. Last October I messaged him saying I'm in the area want to grab a bite to eat he just left me on read.

So I decided to not message him again. To my surprise he never reached out again. That was the last i spoke to him. It hurts a bit. Wasted years thinking he was my friend.

I just saw him post a picture of getting engaged to his gf. I wonder if he will even invite Me to his wedding.
post 1682714773 05-14-2023, 06:34 PM
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yeh this happened alot to me over the years

thats life son
post 1682715473 05-14-2023, 06:47 PM
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Fuark
post 1682716213 05-14-2023, 07:02 PM
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Most of my childhood frends turned into degenerate alcoholics and I just got sick of their crap.

They all got grumpy and negative and cynical and would act like I was subordinate to them. Total d-bags.

They were lousy husbands and fathers and got their asses handed to them in divorces, sometimes more thatn once. I'm no feminist and agree with a lot of MGTOW philisophy, but they deserved what they got.

It sucks because they didn't start out like that. They were awesome freinds in grade school and most of high school.

Something went wrong when they were young adults and I'm not sure what. The combination of college, their parents and women they had relationships with totally turned them into sociopaths. Alcohol and pot and who knows what other substances they got on to cope.

A couple have reformed and lightened up a bit, but the damage is done and I want nothing to do with them.
post 1682716333 05-14-2023, 07:06 PM
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  1. waisoserious
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Originally Posted By TOUCHEDbyMany
I've known this guy since I was 7. Grew up in the same area, attended the same schools. I spoke to him almost daily for 20 years. I thought it was really cool as not many people are still friends with their childhood friend. After university I'd always invite him to hang out but he would decline. I just thought that's him - he is very reserved and also has a very serious girlfriend. We still maintained contact online - always speaking about sports, work etc. I genuely cared for the guy.

Over the years though he would leave me on read/seen a lot. I found it disrespectful. Last October I messaged him saying I'm in the area want to grab a bite to eat he just left me on read.

So I decided to not message him again. To my surprise he never reached out again. That was the last i spoke to him. It hurts a bit. Wasted years thinking he was my friend.

I just saw him post a picture of getting engaged to his gf. I wonder if he will even invite Me to his wedding.
Your friend probably has alot of stuff going on around him and he's having a hard time finding time to talk to old/long distance friends. Is it rude? Yes, but that's life. Work, GF, closer proximity friends, cowokers, personal sht makes it hard to have time for other stuff.
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post 1682716543 05-14-2023, 07:13 PM
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Yeah, he and I had been bros since we were like 10 and 11. One day he started dating some piece of **** woman who was just a histrionic narcissist BPD bitch. She told him she didn't want him hanging out with me anymore because because because, so he did as he was told. A few months later surprisingly they broke up, and he wanted to be buds with me again. Nah bro I'm sweet.

Another one started dating a girl and he would hang out with her and her friends. On a couple occasions in a group setting I tried to hang out with all of them. She and her friends were chill but my former bro turned into a total bitch about it and kept gritting his teeth and telling me to gtfo. I still have no idea wtf that was about, don't care, stopped hanging out with him.

Mostly a lot of situations involving bros hanging with chicks, but the first one is the exception; it was usually the guy getting bitchmade, thinking I was going to steal his girlfriend or something.
post 1682716723 05-14-2023, 07:16 PM
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Originally Posted By TOUCHEDbyMany
I wonder if he will even invite Me to his wedding.
Thats funny I was thinking of some guy I've known since I was like 7 and we hung out a lot til about 23 when I moved. Still saw him once in a while but I distinctly remember calling him once to see how he was doing and he answered with "whaddyou want?" kinda remark. Literally like that. I apologized if I called at a bad time and said I would call him back later. not sure if I did or not.

anyways ....sho nuff....guy is getting married and he invited me. In fact I didn't reply to their invitation cuz I figured it was just a formality and he didn't want me there. but then got another please reply and replied I would attend.

bought a super-cheap gift off their registry like $20 and kinda felt bad about it but now I'm like....lesson learned. He still never calls either.


cliffs: considre yourself lucky if you DONT get invited.
post 1682716863 05-14-2023, 07:18 PM
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I hope my childhood friends don't do that to me, they're the only friends I have, even though we only hang out like once a year or so nowadays.
post 1682717033 05-14-2023, 07:21 PM
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I still have 2 good friends that I've known since kindergarten and I'm 39 now. I did have this one good friend that lived down the street from me and we were very close from grade 1-7 we played street hockey and hung out at each other's houses all the time, but then when highschool hit we just ended up in different groups of friends and we didn't really talk anymore.

It's weird cause there was no bad blood between us at all but by the end of highschool we wouldn't even acknowledge eachother if we walked by in the hallway.

That's life I guess.
post 1682717293 05-14-2023, 07:26 PM
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Best friend since 4th grade. So around 1994 when him and I started hanging out. We were inseparable through high school and into our twenties. The stuff we did are my most cherished childhood memories. Hours of playing Goldeneye, biking around on long summer nights looking for girls to chat up, joyrides when we got our license, the inside jokes, crazy stuff we got ourselves into, all the proverbial coming of age stuff. We made another good friend that joined our posse freshman year of high school. After college the three of us still hung out several times per month into our 30's. Then in 2015 the best friend started started to get distant, would flake on our plans, then basically ghosted us. He would still somewhat reply to texts if we initiated but we eventually took the hint and stopped reaching out. That was eight years ago and it still stings. Neither of us have any idea why he did it. My best guess is because he was far left politically, we weren't, and it was around that weird cultural moment when the left started purging anyone with different viewpoints out of their lives.
post 1682717843 05-14-2023, 07:36 PM
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Nobody that I would consider life long, but a work friend from my last job that I met his family and everything and knew for the last 6 and talked to all the time outside of work, and hung out with regularly on Friday’s after I moved on to a new job cut off all communication back in December.

I’ve already mentioned it on here, but his alcoholism got completely out of control once his stupid ex gf single mom that he never even wanted to hang out with when he had her broke up with him. i last saw him and his gums were, bleeding, hair as long as a hobo, lips crusted like a lizard, smelled. Not shocking a month later he turned completely yellow and had ascites build up. I got his family involved, and another one of his friends and I went to see him and he said not to take it personal if he didn’t respond (meanwhile he’ll snap respond like a beta male to an ex gf all day every day).

He didn’t answer me for 4 straight months to check on him or just shoot the bs. His dad was disgnosed with dementia while he was busy turning into big bird. About 3 months ago my dad was disgnosed with Parkinson’s. Reached out to relate and break the news that way. Not one word of “sorry to hear man” or anything.

Last I heard he wasn’t yellow or swollen anymore, and was almost back to normal but could never drink again and won’t respond to anybody that worked with him and cared about him for years or even his life long friends much. Good fkn riddance. I deleted his number. Realized he truly was a selfish prick that didn’t care about anybody (his own family included) other than himself and whatever is convenient for him. Nobody is absolved from just being a complete chithead no matter what is going on in their life.
post 1682718283 05-14-2023, 07:46 PM
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I had a best bud we knew Eachother basically forever. Probably since I was 10 or something. We had a fallout and stopped talking for good. He’s tried to reconnect so many times but I just ignore him every time. I’ve simply moved on. I don’t really have any best buds now but I’m fine with that. Nothing I can really do now to have that same bro vibe we had.
post 1682718743 05-14-2023, 07:57 PM
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Also had I friend I went that I went to college with, and stayed in contact years afterwards (until about 30 or so) and I thought all was cool. He got married invited me to his wedding, I got him a wedding gift and all. Then he never spoke to me ever again. Wouldn’t answer, or if I did reach out 2-3 years later when another buddy told me he had kids I got maybe a sentence of nothing at the most.

The other buddy ran a softball business making bank every year doing it 300-500k. Let this kid escape a chitty construction job making 50k to come work for him as a franchisee in his local area making about 200k a year. He told me that he had gotten completely psycho religious and that I wasn’t missing chit by not having him as a friend. Also apparently had concluded that there was no saving me and I was going to hell (lol wtf?).

He ended up screwing my friend over after years or working under him and being gifted the ability to make 4x as much as his actual ability (kid is extremely stupid book smart and would have never made it at any job requiring brains) and stealing all of his umpires and softball teams behind his back so that he could go out on his own. Even stole his database and his website to recreate the exact the same thing. Lol some friend and Christian. No big loss. I also deleted his number as a person I couldn’t care less to ever hear from again.
post 1682719443 05-14-2023, 08:20 PM
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Was anybody else only a one friend person? The person would change throughout life phases but I only had one at a time. Strange looking back, maybe It was creating more of a brother relationship. We would always inevitably grow apart.

The next phase will likely be another parent. Coworkers/classmates in my experience disappear once you lose that connection.
See you tomorrow
post 1682719493 05-14-2023, 08:21 PM
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had a good friend since we were 7 and then I found his post history here and that he has been touched by many. ghosted that fgt as a result srs
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1682726303 05-15-2023, 12:00 AM
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  1. Imnew1
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Originally Posted By Pterodactyl314
Was anybody else only a one friend person? The person would change throughout life phases but I only had one at a time. Strange looking back, maybe It was creating more of a brother relationship. We would always inevitably grow apart.

The next phase will likely be another parent. Coworkers/classmates in my experience disappear once you lose that connection.
It only has to be that way if you want it to be. I have one friend that if he cut me off I would be crushed as I look to him as like my own brother and talk to him daily and turn to him for advice more than my own actual brother.

I’ve gotten numb to co-workers pretending like you don’t exist anymore once you or they leave and act like they were never anything more than co-workers that were friends because you worked together. I try to remain cool with as many that meant anything (5) as normal and possible. They all appreciate it. I had others that I thought I was really cool with and could talk and trust about anything that never said anything to me again after a few months. One even reached to me about meeting my family at a funeral and invited me to a CF fundraising walk for her brother. Then never spoke to me again. Oh well. People come and people go. Those that are meant to be there will be there.
post 1682726853 05-15-2023, 12:26 AM
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Well seems like you
were a bit pushy to him
and you didnt added value,srs

look into friendship as
1-something common
2-doing sort of activity together.
3-expanding views,and sharing opportunities.

but in the end,everything reach;s its last mile.
post 1682726943 05-15-2023, 12:29 AM
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Over a girl, who.... suprise, slooted around on BOTH of us. lol what a waste. Lesson learned.
post 1682729313 05-15-2023, 02:28 AM
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Yea...had a friend of around 16 yrs ditch me over the Russia Ukraine war. It was really hard. But ultimately, I stood for what was right.
post 1682729323 05-15-2023, 02:29 AM
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Everyone I know goes away, in the end...

post 1682729343 05-15-2023, 02:31 AM
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Has happened a lot and they usually get too jealous so it eventually gets tiresome and I just stop being around them. A couple have been cause they got married and checked out of society. I'm introverted anyway so it works out. Also lost quite a few female friends of 20+ years because they were so simple minded and weak they either blew up at me or deleted me after Trump was elected.
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post 1682731163 05-15-2023, 04:29 AM
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Are you referring to your 'friendships' with hookers or an actual friend? Guy I grew up with since early childhood. His mother was my mother's best friend and they both worked at the same hospital as nurses. We'd always hang out once or multiple times a week playing videos games, sleepovers, going to the movies. Once high school hit he started hanging out with the wrong group and ended up becoming hooked with weed and at one point got pinched for spray painting and such. After high school we'd talk here and there. I then starting living and working abroad. Whenever I would ask about him it would be the same story. Still living at home, no job, not continuing his education (hadn't even started any college), and just growing weed at home.

A year and a half ago when I came back he reached out a few times. I was dealing with family stuff related to my little brother and then afterwards went back to school. At one point (from being a lazy fuk) he ended up in the hospital with a blocked blood vessel in his chest or something. I offered to drive down to visit or let him know if he needed anything or rides when he had gotten discharged. One time he needed to go pick up his RX so I drove him. He offered to buy food so I obliged. Couple weeks later he called but I was visiting my parents and watching a movie and so didn't answer. I called him back later and he gave me this whole spiel about how "I've changed and he's worried about me". I told him I had been busy and he had the audacity to act like that was impossible since at the time I wasn't working (between brother/family crap and starting school) and said "You're not busy, you don't have a fukin job". Had him on speaker and so my Mom heard the whole conversation and I just hung up on him. Less than a minute later he ends up calling my Mom acting like I was being an arsehole and that he had no idea what he did wrong, thinking she hadn't heard our conversation. He tried telling her that I had been using him and that when we had gotten food I had ordered X amount from the menu and had been exploiting his kindness. Btch, you're unemployed, don't have a car, sell weed from your Mom's house, and can't go get sht on your own. We haven't talked since.

So yeah that's the story of how I "lost" my friend since we were toddlers. Shame. He's 32 now and his Mom is "half" retired and spends most of her time in the Bay with her grandchildren. He has no connection with his siblings. The whole family took a trip to Hawaii and he didn't go. His Mom wants to fully retire and sell the house so she can go live in the Bay and be close to her grandchildren but she hasn't because if she did I have no idea what he would do. Probably end up homeless.
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post 1682731313 05-15-2023, 04:36 AM
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Originally Posted By flat6pilot
Best friend since 4th grade. So around 1994 when him and I started hanging out. We were inseparable through high school and into our twenties. The stuff we did are my most cherished childhood memories. Hours of playing Goldeneye, biking around on long summer nights looking for girls to chat up, joyrides when we got our license, the inside jokes, crazy stuff we got ourselves into, all the proverbial coming of age stuff. We made another good friend that joined our posse freshman year of high school. After college the three of us still hung out several times per month into our 30's. Then in 2015 the best friend started started to get distant, would flake on our plans, then basically ghosted us. He would still somewhat reply to texts if we initiated but we eventually took the hint and stopped reaching out. That was eight years ago and it still stings. Neither of us have any idea why he did it. My best guess is because he was far left politically, we weren't, and it was around that weird cultural moment when the left started purging anyone with different viewpoints out of their lives.
dude...... wouldn't believe this chit happened irl about long term friends if i didn't see it happen with my own eyes

understand bullchit acquaintances doing that on some level...but true bros?
post 1682731543 05-15-2023, 04:48 AM
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Gonna enjoy reading this thread after work, nice topic OP.

In short I grew apart from my old friends' groups for reasons similar to BigTimeOperator. Just bettering my life with mountaineering, working out, solo trips abroad. Since moving I've completely lost touch with anyone who took no interest in that.

My best friend who I've known since about 5 y/o, there was an interim in our friendship when I was around 19. We were out and my family (Sisters and mum) were in the same nightclub. There were slim pickings in the nightclub scene, so I felt like my entire night had been ruined. He responded with physical aggression when I told him I had lost all ability to enjoy myself, I stormed out and I refused to just let it be. He had been hard to reason with in other cases beforehand, so I was pretty done at that point.

We bumped into each other a few years later, we had both matured (see mountaineering etc) and re-established our friendship.
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post 1682731613 05-15-2023, 04:51 AM
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I kick all my friends to the curb for the latest and greatest bar sloot.
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post 1682731693 05-15-2023, 04:56 AM
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Originally Posted By northernlights7
- claims to be an introvert
- lost tons and tons of friends over the years


Pick 1.
Introverted not a full on hermit.
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MAGA
post 1682732153 05-15-2023, 05:13 AM
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I feel like that's a common part of getting older.
post 1682732393 05-15-2023, 05:24 AM
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yeah with two of my mates thats i knew for 20 years plus

1st brah... skipped his wedding cause i never liked his cow wife.... he cut contact with me for like 5years... and rise and behold... when sh!t hit the fan with his elephant wife... guess who he called first for a meet up :--D

2nd breh... knew him for 20 years + to..... he wanted to do his beach wedding in thailand with a russian slut he met/knew for almost 5 years .. i said ok ill go... then i get to know that they and their friends wanted to do drugs before/during/after his wedding ..basically during his 10 days stay in thailand... i told him to go fukc himself.... he cut ties with me for a couple of month then he contacted me again....but he doesnt tell his wife... cause apparently i betrayed him by not attending his wedding.. and she doesnt want him to have anything with me..... dumb russian sloot
Cherish your life. Live to tell your story
post 1682735233 05-15-2023, 06:53 AM
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Post deleted by user
post 1682737533 05-15-2023, 07:51 AM
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Trying to anaylze this vs losing a gf. Losing somebody you thought was a friend is probably worse. You know with a gf you’ll either get married or break up and never talk again. That’s the reality that you at least know going in. A close friend that just cuts all contact and doesn’t wanna be your friend anymore for no good reason, be it bc they got married or something you don’t even have any idea why over is definitely more blindsiding and a giant wtf. In the end who cares? Life goes on. Fk em.
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