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The Economics Of Love
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Thread: The Economics Of Love
06-17-2023, 09:31 AM
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#1
The Economics Of Love
Great interview so far. This segment seemed worth a shout out.
Speaks on the economic realities of dating [math] and how people fail due to a lack of self-knowledge and poor execution that doesn't serve their intention.
^^^
Segment runs from 45:00 to 59:00
The N-squared Problem
For every additional criteria you screen for the total number of available options decreases dramatically.
If you have zero requirements of the person you need in your life then you can have a relationship with anyone. Say you have 1 requirement and 1 in 10 people meets that requirement then you have eliminated 90% of the options. His example paraphrased-
Go to the events, places, sites, etc. that are shared by other people who want what you have to offer and/or are interested in the same things as yourself.
People see what you are advertising.
If you are confused about who you are and what you really want you will attract the wrong people.
Listening to this talk about the mathematics and that people aren't too good at knowing themselves, knowing what they want, or advertising to the right group makes the relative success of eHarmony pretty obvious. And I still think that if we somehow get a benevolent AI system it *could* help humans match up better because the AI will know that though you say you like to hike and kayak what you really like is playing video games and watching Netflix + simply matching up people who want a committed relationship and children with others who want the same instead of pushing the most physically attractive singles at everyone to get more clicks and more money.
Speaks on the economic realities of dating [math] and how people fail due to a lack of self-knowledge and poor execution that doesn't serve their intention.
^^^
Segment runs from 45:00 to 59:00
The N-squared Problem
For every additional criteria you screen for the total number of available options decreases dramatically.
If you have zero requirements of the person you need in your life then you can have a relationship with anyone. Say you have 1 requirement and 1 in 10 people meets that requirement then you have eliminated 90% of the options. His example paraphrased-
I'm straight so by definition that eliminates 50% of the population, I need a certain age bracket so that by definition removes 70% of the remaining population, and so on.
If you are looking for a person with a 1 in 10 criteria and you add another 1 in 10 criteria it doesn't become 1 in 20, but 1 in 100. Add a third 1 in 10 criteria and it is 1 in 1000, a fourth, 1 in 10,000, so when you get to six 1 in 10 criteria your remaining options are 1 in 100,000. It is constantly 10 to the power of.
Do they exist? Absolutely. Do you have the time to find them? Is that your priority? There is a reality to life that sometimes gets someone to prioritize differently.
You Can Improve Your Odds By Finding Your TribeIf you are looking for a person with a 1 in 10 criteria and you add another 1 in 10 criteria it doesn't become 1 in 20, but 1 in 100. Add a third 1 in 10 criteria and it is 1 in 1000, a fourth, 1 in 10,000, so when you get to six 1 in 10 criteria your remaining options are 1 in 100,000. It is constantly 10 to the power of.
Do they exist? Absolutely. Do you have the time to find them? Is that your priority? There is a reality to life that sometimes gets someone to prioritize differently.
Go to the events, places, sites, etc. that are shared by other people who want what you have to offer and/or are interested in the same things as yourself.
You can increase your probability of being found a lot if you are true to yourself. If you start to advertise yourself as who you truly are and mix with the people that you believe are the people that you want to be with.
Advertise Yourself To Who You Want To AttractPeople see what you are advertising.
Say a young lady wants to find a committed partner, but goes to the pub or the club every Friday evening dressed in a certain way and acting a certain way than a person who is looking for that will show up. If you go to a tango class then people who are interested in tango will show up.
To Advertise Correctly The One Thing You Need Most Is To Know Who You Really AreIf you are confused about who you are and what you really want you will attract the wrong people.
There can be multiple layers of confusion:
- you don't know who you are
- you don't love who you are
- you know and/or love who you are, but you are advertising differently because you think that others are more interesting
- or you don't know what you want.
When you don't know what you are looking for you are advertising wrong. You need to figure out:
- what am I thinking
- what am I feeling
- what am I doing
And be open about that. E.g. a woman who wants a child, but is dating people without talking about the topic and saying openly from the start that she wants a child. Because she thinks maybe if I tell them I want a child they won't want to be with me, which is quite interesting because, yes, but if they don't want to be with you because they don't want a child then you don't want to be with them either.
He also touches on how dating has changed. Says that when he found his wife she was one of 14 friends who best matched him vs. today with the online dating systems where at least superficially it feels like you have 14 million choices instead of 14 choices which causes people to value each potential match less.- you don't know who you are
- you don't love who you are
- you know and/or love who you are, but you are advertising differently because you think that others are more interesting
- or you don't know what you want.
When you don't know what you are looking for you are advertising wrong. You need to figure out:
- what am I thinking
- what am I feeling
- what am I doing
And be open about that. E.g. a woman who wants a child, but is dating people without talking about the topic and saying openly from the start that she wants a child. Because she thinks maybe if I tell them I want a child they won't want to be with me, which is quite interesting because, yes, but if they don't want to be with you because they don't want a child then you don't want to be with them either.
Listening to this talk about the mathematics and that people aren't too good at knowing themselves, knowing what they want, or advertising to the right group makes the relative success of eHarmony pretty obvious. And I still think that if we somehow get a benevolent AI system it *could* help humans match up better because the AI will know that though you say you like to hike and kayak what you really like is playing video games and watching Netflix + simply matching up people who want a committed relationship and children with others who want the same instead of pushing the most physically attractive singles at everyone to get more clicks and more money.
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06-17-2023, 09:59 AM
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#2
- crupiea
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- crupiea
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Let me help everyone out and save time.
Love is for women, men dont get to experience it. Men just get to pay for her to feel loved.
Love is for women, men dont get to experience it. Men just get to pay for her to feel loved.
"To be a warrior is not a simple matter of wishing to be one. It is rather an endless struggle that will go on to the very last moment of our lives. Nobody is born a warrior, in exactly the same way that nobody is born an average man. We make ourselves into one or the other."-- Carlos Castaneda
06-17-2023, 10:05 AM
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#3
Originally Posted By metroins⏩
Oh I have a few, though not so easily screened for.Post your dating criteria.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.
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06-17-2023, 10:08 AM
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#4
06-17-2023, 10:29 AM
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#5
06-17-2023, 10:35 AM
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#6
- koreannoodles77
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Damn 0/3 for you6'+, six figures, 6"+.


06-17-2023, 10:42 AM
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#7
Still watching. Still good. I'm in a segment on duality/masculine vs. feminine.
"...you need intuition and sensuality. If the masculine is about safety and survival how can you do that without living? Without beauty? Art? Your comment is right, but it is not because of any difference between the masculine and feminine. Men will feel less comfortable with this because women have been sadly pushed to live in their masculine to survive in this hyper masculine world."
Women feeling pushed to be like men. Meanwhile in culture you can check out other commentators who will speak on toxic femininity and how the feminine has become dominant in areas to which it is not suited.
"...you need intuition and sensuality. If the masculine is about safety and survival how can you do that without living? Without beauty? Art? Your comment is right, but it is not because of any difference between the masculine and feminine. Men will feel less comfortable with this because women have been sadly pushed to live in their masculine to survive in this hyper masculine world."
Women feeling pushed to be like men. Meanwhile in culture you can check out other commentators who will speak on toxic femininity and how the feminine has become dominant in areas to which it is not suited.
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06-17-2023, 10:45 AM
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#8
- rollerball
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- rollerball
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Post deleted by user
06-17-2023, 10:45 AM
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#9
- GermanSloot
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- GermanSloot
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Hey BbyOh I have a few, though not so easily screened for.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.

06-17-2023, 10:55 AM
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#10
- LefticlesMother
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- LefticlesMother
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Just send Babayagawick a PMOh I have a few, though not so easily screened for.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.
06-17-2023, 10:55 AM
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#11
06-17-2023, 10:58 AM
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#12
06-17-2023, 03:06 PM
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#13
- LargePeter
- Fuck off, Lahey!
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- LargePeter
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Oh I have a few, though not so easily screened for.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.
- trust
- respect
- affection
- attraction
Plus superficially at least late 30's and that seems very young. No SS here.

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