Early March of this year I found on my girlfriend's phone, texts and pictures of herself being sent to her old boyfriends and one online friend. I'll try to start from the beginning but I apologize if I ramble and don't make sense. We've been dating more then 2½ almost 3 years, and in March of 2023 I had found during the span of our relationship she was sending photos of herself to various people. They would range from cute photos of what she was wearing to work, to lingerie that I bought her, to full nudes. What I saw was only what was physically saved on SC so me seeing everything made me only wonder what wasn't saved during that time. Naturally I did confront her about everything I saw and she was speechless at first, but eventually saying how she knows she was in the wrong and understands that if I wanted to breakup with her. My only question was why would she feel the need tosend those pictures and be in toich with them, and at that time all she told me was she didn't know why. From that point on we have been back and forth arguing, moments of us not speaking to each other, lots of yelling, and back and forth jokes to each other about everything, trying to make it into some light humor but only making each other more mad about the situation. It wasn't until a few months after the initial incident in March that she explained why she did everything, she saw them as some safety net for her to rely on when she was depressed, and in turn she would give into whatever they asked for because in her words, "it's stuff they have already seen before". I'm hoping that she didn't actively sleep with them, but she lied about the messages for years so there's no telling. The most recent big fight was over a month ago and it was over one of her exes(one of which she sexted with) was at her apartment and she didn't tell me anything about that until we were just finishing another fight and she let it slip by accident that he was over and they were going over work schedules( she works with him now) and making pasta. That's what caused us to have our longest time without talking for over a week and a half maybe more. After some time we worked it out but I don't think that I did work it out with myself. I don't see her the same way anymore, she's not the girl I literally fell in love with after our 3rd date. She would always remind me that she didn't care about them anymore or saw them as sexually appealing and that I was the only guy she wants in her life from now in, but she said those things last year while she was lying to me. While I helped with many of her payments be it car, rent, groceries, etc. I've been there for everything and I knew when to not over step my boundaries because I know how she can get overwhelmed with things fairly easily.
All in all I still care about her but at this point I don't know if I'm still with her because I'm scared to be alone and shes familiar or because I know she won't survive too well without me so its out of guilt if I leave. I wanna love her and move on but she still talks to these guys now and then, but I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I will never know what fully happened during that time and I will never know what she's doing when I'm not around even now. I'm sorry for the long post but I needed to vent somewhere, if anyone has any advice I'm all ears. Anything will help.

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