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Forum ยป ITT: you're getting a blowjob and you have to fart - what do? (srs thread) (science)
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Thread: ITT: you're getting a blowjob and you have to fart - what do? (srs thread) (science)

post 1692971003 11-07-2023, 10:45 AM
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ITT: you're getting a blowjob and you have to fart - what do? (srs thread) (science)

You're getting actively and enthusiastically fellated. You're fully in the throes of abject ecstasy. Despite this, you feel a demonic bubbling up deep inside of your gut. As the gaseous abomination settles into your colon like a monsoon, pushing up against your chocolate tea towel holder, dread immediately creeps inside your soul as you realize you have to rip a loud, gurgling rotten whore of a flappy fart. You're mere moments away from the sublime experience of overzealously shooting your potential children in her (orhis- many gays on here after all) eager mouth. You can feel the sap rising, but you also feel your bunghole puckering and colon walls losing control.

What do yo do?
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1692971033 11-07-2023, 10:46 AM
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  1. cobhc
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Release the chocolate kraken
NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS
RED BULL RACING
post 1692971323 11-07-2023, 10:53 AM
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If you're not incorporating flatulence at any point during fellatio, you're doing it wrong. A powerful display of anal acoustics is a stroke of dominance, it's how alphas assert themselves in the dominance hierarchy, it sets you apart from the other males and lets the woman know that showtime is over, it's time to go mop the floor.
post 1692971333 11-07-2023, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted By cobhc⏩
Release the chocolate kraken
Feeling like you need to phone elvis is an even more terrifying thought. I believe I have a friend who, a long time ago, told me his girlfriend was trying to be sexy and came into the room nude and put her leg up on his thigh but she farted and a little nugget of schit flopped out onto the floor.

^ 100% srs. Cottamn. Imagine thefwarkingshame!
Originally Posted By Kubishime⏩
If you're not incorporating flatulence at any point during fellatio, you're doing it wrong. A powerful display ofanal acousticsis a stroke of dominance, it's how alphas assert themselves in the dominance hierarchy, it sets you apart from the other males and lets the woman know that showtime is over, it's time to go mop the floor.
lmfao

based and brownpilled
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1692975003 11-07-2023, 12:00 PM
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Hold the fart until climax and cum and fart simultaneously.
post 1693021153 11-08-2023, 05:45 AM
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Originally Posted By ChinkWithDink⏩
Hold the fart until climax and cum and fart simultaneously.
Can't even begin to fathom the pleasure associated with this.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693022183 11-08-2023, 06:05 AM
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Pull the blanket over her head and fill the dutch oven full
๐—ฃ๐—จ๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ข๐——
ฯ‰ฯƒัโ„“โˆ‚ ั‚ัฮฑฮฝั”โ„“ั”ั ศผัั”ฯ‰ โ‚…โ‚€/โ‚โ‚‰โ‚…
๐•ฌ๐–Š๐–˜๐–™๐–๐–Š๐–™๐–Ž๐–ˆ๐–†๐–‘๐–‘๐–ž ๐•ฎ๐–š๐–™ ๐•ธ๐–†๐–˜๐–™๐–Š๐–— ๐•ฝ๐–†๐–ˆ๐–Š ยฎ
แ—ชIแ”•แ‘•แ–‡Iแ—ฐIแ‘Žแ—ฉTIOแ‘Ž Eแ™ญแ‘•แ’ชแ‘Œแ”•IOแ‘Ž Iแ‘Žแ—ชOแ‘•Tแ–‡Iแ‘Žแ—ฉTIOแ‘Ž
post 1693022373 11-08-2023, 06:07 AM
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Originally Posted By DesiredUser****⏩
Pull the blanket over her head and fill the dutch oven full
Honestly, anyone in a loving relationship has engaged in a little dutch ovening from time to time. The other night, my meatloaf onion farts were absolutely out of control. Thicker than air and lingering around the room like a spirit in purgatory. The whole room smelled like something crawled underneath the bed and fuking died.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693022823 11-08-2023, 06:15 AM
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Originally Posted By ChinkWithDink⏩
Hold the fart until climax and cum and fart simultaneously.
Be careful or you might squeeze out more than air
440+6 crew; Buccaneers Crew
* Engineering Crew *
post 1693023023 11-08-2023, 06:18 AM
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Never happened to me, but I'd liken this to a hostage scenario.


That is, you let out the occupants in small bursts and as quietly as possible. Let out bits of fart at a time and compress your butt cheeks together to squash out the fart on its way out, so the mechanical force is kinda absorbed by your cheeks.


Of course, the silent escape is really facilitated by having underpants and pants on, which I guess is not an option whilst getting fellated.
Back off, Warchild.

Seriously.
post 1693024113 11-08-2023, 06:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Bodhy⏩
Never happened to me, but I'd liken this to a hostage scenario.


That is, you let out the occupants in small bursts and as quietly as possible. Let out bits of fart at a time and compress your butt cheeks together to squash out the fart on its way out, so the mechanical force is kinda absorbed by your cheeks.


Of course, the silent escape is really facilitated by having underpants and pants on, which I guess is not an option whilst getting fellated.
Ever shave your a$$hole? It's literally impossible to left cheek sneak-maxx. Every fart sounds like a gigantic resonant flappy rotten gurgling whore. It's like your anal hairs pop the invisible gas bubble but without it, any velocity of flatulence will result in your butt cheeks flapping together.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693024623 11-08-2023, 06:52 AM
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Originally Posted By lightsarefallin⏩
Honestly, anyone in a loving relationship has engaged in a little dutch ovening from time to time. The other night, my meatloaf onion farts were absolutely out of control. Thicker than air and lingering around the room like a spirit in purgatory. The whole room smelled like something crawled underneath the bed and fuking died.
SRS. Idk if I'm a weirdo or what but anytime I fill the dutch up while watching shows before bed.... I can't help but pull the blanket up and take a whiff to see what it smells like. You always know it's gonna smell like absolute shit but your animal brain forces you to do it and figure out just how badly it smells like shit (noskat)(nobodhy)(nohomo)
๐—ฃ๐—จ๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ข๐——
ฯ‰ฯƒัโ„“โˆ‚ ั‚ัฮฑฮฝั”โ„“ั”ั ศผัั”ฯ‰ โ‚…โ‚€/โ‚โ‚‰โ‚…
๐•ฌ๐–Š๐–˜๐–™๐–๐–Š๐–™๐–Ž๐–ˆ๐–†๐–‘๐–‘๐–ž ๐•ฎ๐–š๐–™ ๐•ธ๐–†๐–˜๐–™๐–Š๐–— ๐•ฝ๐–†๐–ˆ๐–Š ยฎ
แ—ชIแ”•แ‘•แ–‡Iแ—ฐIแ‘Žแ—ฉTIOแ‘Ž Eแ™ญแ‘•แ’ชแ‘Œแ”•IOแ‘Ž Iแ‘Žแ—ชOแ‘•Tแ–‡Iแ‘Žแ—ฉTIOแ‘Ž
post 1693025103 11-08-2023, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted By DesiredUser****⏩
SRS. Idk if I'm a weirdo or what but anytime I fill the dutch up while watching shows before bed.... I can't help but pull the blanket up and take a whiff to see what it smells like. You always know it's gonna smell like absolute shit but your animal brain forces you to do it and figure out just how badly it smells like shit (noskat)(nobodhy)(nohomo)
It's just natural human curiosity, boyo. A desire to smell your own ass emissions is as natural as the desire to drink when thirsty. Also recoding the anal cacophony from time to time and sending the recordings to your friends out of the blue.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693025453 11-08-2023, 07:16 AM
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I never worry about it since she normally only can get the tip in her mouth and sheโ€™s never gonna smell it from that far away
post 1693025553 11-08-2023, 07:20 AM
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That's when you ask for the finger/tongue plug
St. Louis Blues Crew
I cannot suck my entire dong but I can lollipop the head crew
It might be short but it sure is skinny crew
RICHSTRONG's personal s*x toy
post 1693025583 11-08-2023, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted By proudmanlet⏩
I never worry about it since she normally only can get the tip in her mouth and sheโ€™s never gonna smell it from that far away
Damn.

Imagine the stench of boyos with micros. That means her nostrils are much closer to his pungent crap ejector.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693025623 11-08-2023, 07:21 AM
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Thatโ€™s literally the gateway to heaven. Release all at once, nirvana achieved.
โ˜† Member of the Brave 767 crew โ˜† Never forget.
-Florida Gators-
post 1693025713 11-08-2023, 07:24 AM
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OP, I just had a wicked idea.


What about wearing a Dracula cape when you're getting fellated, and just letting the fart rip and making a dutch oven for the girl? I.e let fart rip, enclose girl on her knees within your cape and laugh maniacally.





Keep fcking her mouth like a hardcore porn. If she throws up from the fart smell, cum in her mouth and make a vomit-cum cocktail.


LMAO.
Back off, Warchild.

Seriously.
post 1693025733 11-08-2023, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted By leoaa777⏩
Thatโ€™s literally the gateway to heaven. Release all at once, nirvana achieved.
I do wonder how it would feel to simultaneously cum, fart, burp, and sneeze all at once. Nirvana is a good word choice.
Originally Posted By Bodhy⏩
OP, I just had a wicked idea.


What about wearing a Dracula cape when you're getting fellated, and just letting the fart rip and making a dutch oven for the girl? I.e let fart rip, enclose girl on her knees within your cape and laugh maniacally.





Keep fcking her mouth like a hardcore porn. If she throws up from the fart smell, cum in her mouth and make avomit-cum cocktail.


LMAO.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693031943 11-08-2023, 09:16 AM
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"just do it"


nike
post 1693032183 11-08-2023, 09:19 AM
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Depends on the woman, really. If I liked the woman I would excuse myself and go rip some ass in another room and wait for the smell to dissipate. It'll be good cuz it will buy me another 10 minutes.

But if it was a woman like MegaSloot i would just rip it right then and there. She deserves that much and she undoubtedly likes it.
post 1693033633 11-08-2023, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted By Cudabrah⏩
Be careful or you might squeeze out more than air
Just hold onto her head and let it all out; fart, cum, chit, swear words, verbal insults about her mother. Everything, just get it all out.
post 1693034143 11-08-2023, 09:53 AM
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Eat my ass babe!
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
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post 1693034253 11-08-2023, 09:55 AM
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If you float out a bowel balloon and give it some percussion while she's playing gobbling for gonads and she laughs, she's a keeper. If she gets angry, kick rocks sloot.
Yeah Buddyyy! Light weight! Light weight baby!!!!
post 1693034283 11-08-2023, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted By leoaa777⏩
Thatโ€™s literally the gateway to heaven. Release all at once, nirvana achieved.
Blowing out is the one true path to nirvana
post 1693034383 11-08-2023, 09:57 AM
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As a regular farter I can honestly say I've never had this issue when getting a bj. There's something about having a boner that seems to keep the farts away.
post 1693053383 11-08-2023, 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted By cgh⏩
As a regular farter I can honestly say I've never had this issue when getting a bj. There's something about having a boner that seems to keep the farts away.
Fwark, so a raging boner might be an ass ghost's kryptonite? I guess it makes sense.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1693054543 11-08-2023, 03:51 PM
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Duh, blame HER.

If she keeps going, no problem, but if she stops, instantly say "Are you stopping because of that huge fart you just let out?"
post 1693054833 11-08-2023, 03:58 PM
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#29
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Originally Posted By proudmanlet⏩
I never worry about it since she normally only can get the tip in her mouth and sheโ€™s never gonna smell it from that far away
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