Situation below. Would love thoughts on how to approach. Whatever I decide to do, I probably won't do anything until after the new year (after bonuses paid).

- I have a junior partner-level position at a finance/accounting/law/consulting firm (its one of those 4, I'm trying to be a bit vague)
- Used to be at a major firm and have lots of good experience and am unfortunately very good at my job
- Now at a smaller shop
- Another junior partner, similar vintage to me, has less experience but does decent work
- I think I am friends with other junior partner
- Junior partner telling other ppl "mulletwarrior is stressed, I don't want him to burnout, lets try to not send work his way"
- I have told junior partner I'm stressed, but not that I don't want work - I assume he says the above with good intentions though
- There is a client we both used to service but I let him take over
- He doesn't like client; I think client is fine
- He tells client to find a new firm
- I tell junior partner I can take over
- he says "I'll think about it"
- I think that is weird AF - what is there to think about, you going to let some other stranger get the work/money over your friend or even over another acquaintance at the firm?
- A week later he says "hey, I am fine with you taking over, I told client to just call you"
- Month goes by, junior partner on vacation. Client trying to call him, but then calls me: "I know you guys told me to find other firm, but I haven't yet and I need this thing done by year end. Can you please please please help me."
- I say "yeah we can help you, and Junior Partner and I talked and I have capacity to help you moving forward"
- Client is surprise "Are you sure? Junior Partner told me you guys can't help me anymore and I need to find someone else"
- This confirms to me that:
---------my friend didn't want to give work to me and was being weird because he views himself as competitive to me and would rather a literal stranger pick up the work than me
---------my friend realized what he did was indefensible and so lied to me that he talked to client about me taking over
---------I also now know that his "mulletwarrior is stressed" stuff he says to others is not in my best interest, but he is trying to cleverly divert work/clients from me (everyone knows I'm very good at my job so he can't say things like "mulletwarrior sux" so this is actually quite machiavellian of him)
- I don't want "beef" or to even compete with him, but now he has unwittingly shown his cards and I feel like I need to defend myself.

Wat do?

If he lied called that chit out assertively and respectfully.


Don’t be personally attached to it or have an emotional response. No need to take it personal at all. It isn’t.

Neither is you calling it out.


Get comfy standing up for yourself. Better make sure your **** is squared away af though.

If you start playing the game, you better be ready.

Get really good at speaking. Verbally and written. Assertive communication is a super power.

Don’t be afraid to call bs. Do it respectfully, and always understand you can be missing something and approach it form the perspective you are just trying to understand the situation in its entirety.

Explain the understanding you thought you had based on your conversation, explain your conversation with the client, explain the obvious discrepancy and ask for clarification.


Do this over email.


This is hardly a cutthroat or stressful conflict. lol. This is just good practice.

Expect more and worse, especially if stand up for yourself.

Haha. You have years working at a major firm and you use words like Wat?

What would I do? Id probably try and get a life and stop being a loser/poser on an internet forum

Brah, this is not cutthroat at all. Lmao. Take over the client, deliver 110% customer satisfaction, make junior partner kiss your ass. Ded fukn srs

You should ask a top cardiologist

Yeah you have to let him know you know what he did. Watch him squirm like a bish

Yeah, def need to call him out on it.

Not really interested in "playing the game," but obviously he is quite aggressively vying against me. So I feel like at the very least I need to stand up for myself and not let him chit talk me to senior ppl who can actually affect my career.Well, what he did was incredibly cutthroat. I'm not cutthroat at all and have no interest in being cutthroat - I feel pretty good about being able to stand on my own merits without cutting other ppl down. But if this guy is actively trying to cut me down, I can't just be passive about the situation either.Agree. Initial thoughts is I ask him. But thinking I need to tell some other ppl to - I just need to be careful not to come off as a bish tattle tale.

work friends are work friends and they are sometimes the enemy. Don't disclose things of a personal nature to people whom you work with and can be in competition with. be prepared, always, to slit the throat of the the people you work with and do so with a genuine smile.

Take the work over, do a fantastic job, maybe have a conversation with your traitorous friend. Sell your success to senior members of the firm and work your ass off to become your buddies superior, then fire him. Only one Alpha allowed per class

That's wrong that junior partner is violating your trust by telling people that you're stressed when that was between the two of you.

I try to keep information about being stressed, such as family problems, etc., away from co-workers and only will tell my manager.

That isn't right that he told the client to find someone else.

The fact that he would try to divert business away from your firm is also a HUGE red flag as I've worked in a consulting firm and I'd never, ever try to lose a client for our company.

I would personally try to change the idea that he thinks you're "stressed" and tell him that however it came up to him in the past is resolved now. If someone else tells you that he told them that you're stressed, correct them right away.

It's tough to get into any type of confrontation because you don't want to burn any bridges in the Big 4, as I assume it's a small world like my business.

I would just be cordial and professional but watch everything you say to him. That's not someone you can trust. Make sure you can get as much as possible in writing in the event that he blames you for telling this client they need to find someone else. That information could get back to someone above you and you need a CYA.

Don't know why that would be so hard to believe - weird thing to lie about. Especially since I am no longer at the major firm because I couldn't hack it - my work product was very good but I couldn't deal with the literal 80 hour weeks sleep with cellphone on never have time to do anything else lifestyle. Sometimes I still feel embarrassed I never made partner, especially now when my peers at major firm who were able to stick it out are making partner.

Ha being enemies with co-workers is not my style - I def believe in a team approach "make the pie bigger" "rising tide lifts all boats" approach over a "the pie is finite" approach.

Also, partners can't get fired, no matter how much "power I acquire from extreme ladder climbing."

With that said, I agree with the bolded - I have been a bit too casual/trusting and need to start at least being somewhat guarded.

This is simple.

Just remember this one small thing.

Junior partner is not your friend. He is your competitor and will steam roll you to get rid of you. He will do it with a smile on his face but the result will be the same.

Just think, what if a random new guy came in acting this way, what would you think about him? You most likely wouldn't like him and would see him for what and who he is.

If he is telling clients to leave, imagine what he is telling the bosses about you behind closed doors.

Might be a ****ty thing to do but consider telling your bosses what he told that client.

Dayum - getting genuinely good advice from Dusty! Thank you - some responses inbold above

The hell is this supposed to mean?

Agree with all of the above, and the bolded is exactly what I'm mulling over right now. Normally I would think this is an absolute bish move, but the guy is clearly vying hard against me, and while I've suspected for a while, I've only just now confirmed that this has been going on for at least 18 months. So think I need to do something - can't let this ***gort just streamroll me.

Sounds like he's sabotaging you.

You should trust an expert OP

What a deceptive little chit. I guess you can't do the usual, "hey buddy you want some cement slippers?" routine. This is why one never, ever should lower one's guard at work. Just that one moment of thinking he was someone you could talk to gave him the cover he needed to stab you in the back. ssheeze.

Do your ****ing job and stop complaining.

That's how you make more money and don't deal with office politics.

Yeah I think so. I don't think it is that he wants me to quit or anything - I think he is trying to set me up to be a chit shield to do all the work at the firm he doesn't want to touch.Yeah lesson learned for sureI mean, yeah, that's been my general approach. Not sure I can let an outright attack on me go tho.

Bumping for the afternoon crew's thoughts (if any)

No. I use various forums as a diary and I have trolled some in the past, but maintain a very different professional character. Maybe I have a split personality lol. Or I'm a good actress. Or both.

Yeah "I'll think about it" is chitty to you and the other partners and non-partners. You definitely have that card in your hand about "I'll think about it".

Well we all make those mistakes, especially when co-workers have lunch, travel together, or the worst is having drinks after work. I learned the hard way (at age 23) to only have 1 drink at a business event or around co-workers. Sometimes we think we can trust people and then they show us their true colors.

Yeah, "This new client (someone else) is really great to work with" or "I'm lifting weights more" or "I'm going on a hike this weekend" upbeat things make it sound positive and that you're not stressed. Vent on the Misc about stress lol.

A paper trail is always good, especially if you have an email from the client saying that he told them to find someone else. Unfortunately it sounds like it was on the phone. Like WTF. I can't imagine saying that to a client. But you could have an email conversation with the client to get more information as to how their conversation went with the other junior partner in a roundabout fashion so you have that to save you if someone questions how this client was being treated. Maybe say something like, "Perhaps there was a misunderstanding when you stated on the phone that PHGGT J told you to find another firm. I apologize for any miscommunication. Most likely the client will say, "OK" (you hope). Then that way client will confirm in writing that PHGGT J said they should find another firm.

Very true. Ideally we want to have good relations with all of our co-workers, but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. I've only burned bridges with one person in my career and I was literally irritated sitting next to her for months as she was loud, argumentative and bossy, so that wore me and my patience down lol. I took the L and apologized, though, so she's cordial as she moved into a different department but then she returned, yikes! Luckily we don't work directly together in her new role. I can tell she's forgiven but not forgotten. Live and learn.

This guy just sounds like he's looking out for himself and is sneaky. Yeah, you can't trust him but you can try to smooth things over as much as possible.

Thankfully right now I'm not dealing with any of that BS with my team members. Always be thankful whenever that happens. Plus I have great managers! That isn't always the case, either!!! Some clients can be a challenge but that never changes.

As sad as that sounds it is very true they will throw you under thr bus in a heartbeat if they feel you are a threat or are holding them back .. words like camaraderie doesn't exist anymore

Next time you see him beat him with a keyboard.

The reality is he thinks you're a pussy. And he's not wrong. What you should have done is, the moment you found out, get a written statement from the client, and then call him and ask him what the issue is. If he plays coy or refuses to talk to you just let him know that you and this client will both be arranging a meeting with senior management regarding this issue. So he can explain the problem to you then and there, or in front of senior management next week.

Thanks Dusty!Haha the bolded is probably true. I will confront him, but end of year is busy for us so I'll probably wait until year end (and after bonuses are paid out, just in case I rub someone senior the wrong way for "creating drama"). Don't think I want to pull the client in on internal bullchit, but am still leaning towards talking to more senior ppl about this.

I'm still not gonna be cutthroat - I think my work can stand on its own merits. But you are right I have been bein a puzzy. I've suspected somethingw as up for at least a year but took no mitigating actions. This was a big wakeup call for me.

If your buddy told a client to find a new firm he cost your business revenue.

Your obvious counterattack is to subtly make his boss, or boss's boss, aware of that. They will be pissed, especially if it affects their bonuses.

Your coworker will defend by claiming you turned the business down because you were "stressed". Make sure it can't blow back on you. (ie make sure there is no text or email proof of you turning down business or telling coworker you were stressed)