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» Would you have issues if youre Wife didnt take your last name after marriage?
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post 1694844683 12-14-2023, 07:03 AM
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Would you have issues if youre Wife didnt take your last name after marriage?

Title. Just curious about your guy's opinion. I am having this discussion with a group of friends.
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post 1694845083 12-14-2023, 07:13 AM
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Not a problem for me, if I get to that position.

Having your wife take your family's name is kind of a northern Europe thing. East Asian cultures don't do it, Arab cultures don't do it, and Spanish cultures double-barrel it. It's not a universal norm in the way that having kids take the man's name is. Wife's name is more flexible.
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post 1694846013 12-14-2023, 07:35 AM
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I have two last names. My wife took both.

In some relationships the man stays home while the woman goes out and works, so in that case as the woman is the breadwinner, it makes sense that the cuck in question would not have his woman take his last name.
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post 1694846193 12-14-2023, 07:40 AM
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I don't think I'd care tbh. I know I wouldn't want to deal with the hassle of legally changing on passport, DL, bank accounts etc.
post 1694846203 12-14-2023, 07:40 AM
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1- JFL at getting married
2- even if it weren't the dumbest idea on earth, no, she can keep it.
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post 1694846223 12-14-2023, 07:40 AM
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Nothing screams cuck more than her trying to pull that (srs)

Be on the outside looking in
post 1694846303 12-14-2023, 07:43 AM
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Originally Posted By Anachron
There are two things that should be automatic deal breakers regarding marriage:

1. Refusing to sign a prenup,
2. Refusing to take last name.

Any man that goes ahead with either ( or both), deserves every bit of hardship that follows.
why would I sign a prenup when she makes more and has a trust fund?
post 1694846573 12-14-2023, 07:51 AM
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I don’t know is it not customary to have your wife delete her middle name and then make her last name her new middle name

And then take your last name?


So like her last name is still represented but as an addendum


I don’t know but I mean with my global favor and interest I think it would be dumb not to but I wouldn’t make a big deal about it


I mean?


My last name is Selvaggio

Which?


Translates from Sicilian to

From the Wild, born of the Wild, or the savage ones


Which I think is sick

Selvaggio sounds a lot like savage because these are all


What is phonetics
post 1694846603 12-14-2023, 07:51 AM
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Probably not.

If you think about it it's just some long running tradition. If a guy is that insecure it would bother him that much maybe the soon to be wife should reconsider.

Would it be my first choice? No, I'm a bit of a family traditionalist. If it was that important to her and I loved her and her reasons were sound I'd be OK with it.
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post 1694846993 12-14-2023, 08:02 AM
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Would NOT.

But then again the relationship would never get to a point of having that conversation. If she was the type of girl who wants to keep her last name and everything that type of sloot entails. Would have smashed and ghosted her from the start.
post 1694847153 12-14-2023, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted By Goat_187
Would NOT.

But then again the relationship would never get to a point of having that conversation. If she was the type of girl who wants to keep her last name and everything that type of sloot entails. Would have smashed and ghosted her from the start.
I mean i kind of agree, I see the girl not taking your last name as having hesitation to even get married in the first place. if youre getting married you should be willing to fully commit (unless the culture you come from doesnt do that normally). for example, my wife is Italian, and we live in Italy. The woman almost never takes the last name of the man. its not done here. Now if I was marrying an American girl and that conversation came up, she better have a damn good reason for not wanting to take my name.
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post 1694847273 12-14-2023, 08:08 AM
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Not open for negotiation on this. That simple. If thats a problem, we can date and just never legally get married.
post 1694847283 12-14-2023, 08:08 AM
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The act itself is irrelevant, I just feel the kind of female that would do that is the kind of female I would not want to spend the rest of my life with. Depends on intentions I guess.
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post 1694847353 12-14-2023, 08:09 AM
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That isn't marriage then IMO. So yes. If you're not taking my name we're not getting married.
post 1694847543 12-14-2023, 08:12 AM
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Just looking at the marriages of people I know whose wives didn't change their names, it's not a good idea if you're any type of traditional person.

Obviously there are plenty of cultures around the world where this isn't common, and in these cases I could completely understand. But in the US, if a women isn't willing to take your last name, you'll 100% be treated as some type of cuck and your wife will not respect you how a wife typically should respect a husband. Some guys don't seem to have an issue with this, but deep down you know they're crying a bit inside.
post 1694848293 12-14-2023, 08:31 AM
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She did without even a mention. It was assumed.
post 1694848893 12-14-2023, 08:42 AM
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My wife didn't initially. 12 years later she did. Been married 18 years. FA idiots will remain FA clinging to their notions of what's "normal".
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post 1694849203 12-14-2023, 08:47 AM
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Nah I wouldn't take her seriously if she said that. I would keep one foot out the door and be looking elsewhere.
Originally Posted By Dec4y
My wife didn't initially. 12 years later she did. Been married 18 years. FA idiots will remain FA clinging to their notions of what's "normal".
Do you think your case is typical? Gotta love how when a guy has standards people gotta play the feminist "ur a incel lmao" line
post 1694849363 12-14-2023, 08:51 AM
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My wife is a southern conservative Christian, so that was never an option. I'm not as conservative as she is, but I still don't think I would have married someone outside of traditional/cultural norms like that.

We've been married for twenty one years.
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post 1694849893 12-14-2023, 09:02 AM
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the trend these days is to have hyphenated last names, losing their family lineage and heritage is not something everyone is comfortable with so its a more realistic approach...especially in families where there are not enough male children to carry family legacy forward.

the commitment to the marriage and child raising are more important things....i know plenty of young couples on my ******** where wife took the last name and 2 years later they divorced and she switched back her last name so everyone figured out they broke up....last name isnt some iron throne which cant be moved and means forever and ever.


if it still bothers you then tell her, in the first few years most people avoid it as its just lot of hassle administratively and usually wait till passport or drivers license is about to expire.
Last name change can also affect mortgage application or any credit/lending because name change can take a while to reflect on credit records so another reason couples delay it.
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post 1694850183 12-14-2023, 09:10 AM
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot
Nah I wouldn't take her seriously if she said that. I would keep one foot out the door and be looking elsewhere.



Do you think your case is typical? Gotta love how when a guy has standards people gotta play the feminist "ur a incel lmao" line
Depends on your frame of reference I suppose. If you truly think about it - it's a very arbitrary hill to die on. The "standard" is purely fabricated in your mind. Attaching respect for your husband to taking a last name don't go hand in hand in practice. Other countries and cultures don't get butthurt over it. Arguably, women in middle-eastern countries have the MISC wet-dream when it comes to your woman being the perfect little subservient maid/homemaker who respects her husband - but they don't get butthurt over a last name.
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post 1694850213 12-14-2023, 09:12 AM
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Would cancel the wedding
post 1694850693 12-14-2023, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted By Dec4y
Depends on your frame of reference I suppose. If you truly think about it - it's a very arbitrary hill to die on. The "standard" is purely fabricated in your mind. Other countries and cultures don't get butthurt over it. Arguably, women in middle-eastern countries have the MISC wet-dream when it comes to your woman being the perfect little subservient maid/homemaker who respects her husband - but they don't get butthurt over a last name.
If a woman won't make the minor sacrifice of taking her husband's last name then I take that as her not taking the sanctity of marriage seriously. She likely has one foot out the door "just in case" whatever reason she needs to divorce and make a clean break. Our culture doesn't have the same societal norms and pressures as other countries like most places in the Middle East. Women have expectations to stay in a marriage for better or worse, whereas in America it's not uncommon for a woman to have multiple marriages and divorces on her resume. I would say if there ever was a study done on the subject it would show women who choose to retain their surname tend to get divorced sooner and more often, in average.

Also women in the west don't follow Middle Eastern norms or traditions on marriage. I have never met a woman who had fairy tale fantasies of anything other than the weddings we are accustomed to seeing here. Maids of honor, flower girls, throwing bouquets, etc. When a woman picks and chooses which of those standards and practices she likes and which ones don't suit her sensibilities, there is obviously a reason for that, and you make your judgements accordingly.
post 1694851033 12-14-2023, 09:28 AM
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Mine didn't even ask, she just took my last name.

On a side note, we went to a wedding recently and the couple decided to merge both of their last names. I'll use usernames for reference, but imagine SamsBolton and Nonsense getting married and they become SamSence.
post 1694851143 12-14-2023, 09:30 AM
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I'd ask her to voluntarily take my last name without me signing the marriage documents before I'd ever consider getting the government involved in any relationship of mine.
post 1694851623 12-14-2023, 09:39 AM
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Mine took my first name as her last name. U mad?
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post 1694851703 12-14-2023, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot
If a woman won't make the minor sacrifice of taking her husband's last name then I take that as her not taking the sanctity of marriage seriously. She likely has one foot out the door "just in case" whatever reason she needs to divorce and make a clean break. Our culture doesn't have the same societal norms and pressures as other countries like most places in the Middle East. Women have expectations to stay in a marriage for better or worse, whereas in America it's not uncommon for a woman to have multiple marriages and divorces on her resume. I would say if there ever was a study done on the subject it would show women who choose to retain their surname tend to get divorced sooner and more often, in average.

Also women in the west don't follow Middle Eastern norms or traditions on marriage. I have never met a woman who had fairy tale fantasies of anything other than the weddings we are accustomed to seeing here. Maids of honor, flower girls, throwing bouquets, etc. When a woman picks and chooses which of those standards and practices she likes and which ones don't suit her sensibilities, there is obviously a reason for that, and you make your judgements accordingly.
Interesting. You've attached a lot of significance to an arbitrary thing, even made up a scenario/justification for keeping a last name as a "just-in-case-foot-out-the-door" when there are far more reasonable justifications these days for wanting to keep a last name (opposed to straight 'feminism'). My wife kept hers initially because she was the last of her name and she had newly acquired professional degrees/certifications with her maiden name- her brother eventually had a kid and she changed hers immediately because her personal justification wasn't necessary anymore. Perhaps my marriage success is an outlier - if anything, from personal experience it proves it's not worth dying on that hill.
Originally Posted By stevebec
Mine took my first name as her last name. U mad?
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post 1694851823 12-14-2023, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted By Bingu
Title. Just curious about your guy's opinion. I am having this discussion with a group of friends.
What would be the reasoning why she wouldn't want to take my name?
post 1694852023 12-14-2023, 09:46 AM
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She takes my last name, or we don't get married and I find a woman who wants my last name.
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post 1694852223 12-14-2023, 09:51 AM
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