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Forum » Jesus was a handsome mf'er
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Thread: Jesus was a handsome mf'er

post 1696110403 01-09-2024, 06:47 AM
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Jesus was a handsome mf'er

Such a chad


post 1696110743 01-09-2024, 06:58 AM
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Yeah because God's son would look like a mess.
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post 1696111143 01-09-2024, 07:09 AM
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If you think that's impressive you should see shiva's 3 cocks
180 lb crew
Take chit and pis 165lb crew
Go to bed, wake up 173lb crew
Annoyed at eating whatever I want and not getting fat crew
Accidentally get fat crew
Back to 175lb the next day crew
post 1696111193 01-09-2024, 07:11 AM
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Yes, because Jesus would be pastey white living in a desert hellscape

I think if Jesus was walking around THAT white compared to all the black and brown people among him there would be distinct mention of it somewhere in the bible.

Or perhaps he wasn't white like that at all and it was just the catholic church trying to sell the idea of jesus to other white people and what better way to do it than to make him white? Jesus certainly wouldn't be nearly as popular if he was depicted as some Akhmed looking brown guy wearing a turban.
post 1696111383 01-09-2024, 07:14 AM
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5'5" manlet tours over

God was 6'2" tho



post 1696112093 01-09-2024, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted By Maestro⏩
Yes, because Jesus would be pastey white living in a desert hellscape

I think if Jesus was walking around THAT white compared to all the black and brown people among him there would be distinct mention of it somewhere in the bible.

Or perhaps he wasn't white like that at all and it was just the catholic church trying to sell the idea of jesus to other white people and what better way to do it than to make him white? Jesus certainly wouldn't be nearly as popular if he was depicted as some Akhmed looking brown guy wearing a turban.
Jesus was half god, hence his aryan countenance.
post 1696112153 01-09-2024, 07:34 AM
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the goat chad

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And...

Daily reminder, sloots gon sloot
post 1696112683 01-09-2024, 07:46 AM
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Originally Posted By Maestro⏩
Yes, because Jesus would be pastey white living in a desert hellscape

I think if Jesus was walking around THAT white compared to all the black and brown people among him there would be distinct mention of it somewhere in the bible.

Or perhaps he wasn't white like that at all and it was just the catholic church trying to sell the idea of jesus to other white people and what better way to do it than to make him white? Jesus certainly wouldn't be nearly as popular if he was depicted as some Akhmed looking brown guy wearing a turban.
Misc. geographers strike again.

Jesus is believed to be samaritan. They are either pale or tanned, some of which have blue eyes. Even if this is debunked, the rest of the levantine is carrying basically the same genetics.

Early orthodox depictions are likely the closest he looked - brown hair, slight tan, a bit of hobo look but still traditional and recognisable Jesus.


Also Lol at black people, they were literally stoned the moment they stepped into the holy land.
post 1696113603 01-09-2024, 08:07 AM
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Ron pls respond
post 1696113683 01-09-2024, 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted By Maestro⏩
Yes, because Jesus would be pastey white living in a desert hellscape

I think if Jesus was walking around THAT white compared to all the black and brown people among him there would be distinct mention of it somewhere in the bible.

Or perhaps he wasn't white like that at all and it was just the catholic church trying to sell the idea of jesus to other white people and what better way to do it than to make him white? Jesus certainly wouldn't be nearly as popular if he was depicted as some Akhmed looking brown guy wearing a turban.
I haven't seen any black looking people from the Levant. I have seen some who looked white.
post 1696114033 01-09-2024, 08:22 AM
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Originally Posted By Kokanee⏩
I haven't seen any black looking people from the Levant. I have seen some who looked white.
This, u/Maestro is a retard

Black people weren't able to cross the Sahara thus why also they were so far behind any other civilization. Any black dude that stepped into the region was a slave or a merchant coming from the lower parts of Egypt where ethnical Nubians lived. Although most were just stoned to death by the sight of them lol


Many levantines could easily be mistaken for white people if westernised.
post 1696114243 01-09-2024, 08:28 AM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSGTsjkHzM4
post 1696114513 01-09-2024, 08:36 AM
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Of course they are going to make a fictional character a chad lol
post 1696114703 01-09-2024, 08:40 AM
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Originally Posted By dedFOOKINGsrs⏩
Jesus was half god, hence his aryan countenance.
Jesus is god in human form...
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post 1696117113 01-09-2024, 09:42 AM
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post 1696117553 01-09-2024, 09:52 AM
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He was a jewish tradie liar though.
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post 1696121243 01-09-2024, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted By lightsarefallin⏩
He was a jewish tradie liar though.
Seldom right & wrong again..

“Then Jesus went into the temple of God and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. And He said to them, “It is written, My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a den of thieves.’ ”
post 1696121533 01-09-2024, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted By FrankCostanza⏩
Jesus is god in human form...
Jesus never said that. Paul and them twisted his words to capitalize on Jesus’s fame after his death.

Jesus said he was gods SON
post 1696121913 01-09-2024, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted By dedFOOKINGsrs⏩
Jesus never said that. Paul and them twisted his words to capitalize on Jesus’s fame after his death.

Jesus said he was gods SON
This is false

I've recently finished all 4 gospels and he clearly and repeatedly says it and makes it obvious that he's frustrated people aren't understanding despite how often he says it.
post 1696122053 01-09-2024, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted By Condo41⏩
This is false

I've recently finished all 4 gospels and he clearly and repeatedly says it and makes it obvious that he's frustrated people aren't understanding despite how often he says it.
No he doesn’t. I’ve read them all too. The church never even agreed on it until the council of nicea 300 years after he died. They exiled those who wouldn’t accept it.


Think about it, why does Jesus say he sits on the right hand of god? He sits on the right hand of himself? He prays to himself? He asks himself why he forsook himself? Makes no sense.
post 1696122093 01-09-2024, 11:36 AM
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Stop with the blasphemy fgt

Also muslims Can fuk off. Park your camel you giant rock worshipping arabs
Follows Chestbrah's training routine crew
post 1696122103 01-09-2024, 11:36 AM
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Originally Posted By dedFOOKINGsrs⏩
No he doesn’t. I’ve read them all too. The church never even agreed on it until the council of nicea 300 years after he died.
Why are you lying? He says it over and over
post 1696122413 01-09-2024, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted By Condo41⏩
Why are you lying? He says it over and over
Here's 10 clear examples

1. John 10:30 - "I and the Father are one."
2. John 8:58 - "Before Abraham was born, I am!"
3. John 14:9 - "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father."
4. John 18:37 - "You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth."
5. Matthew 28:18 - "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
6. Matthew 25:31-32 - "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne."
7. Luke 22:70 - "You say that I am."
8. John 5:21-22 - "For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it. Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son."
9. John 14:6 - "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
10. John 11:25 - "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die."
post 1696122483 01-09-2024, 11:44 AM
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Jesus (PBUH) was physically unassuming. According to the bible. He would have blended into the appearance of anyone else in the region at the time.
post 1696125143 01-09-2024, 12:44 PM
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looks like scott stapp
Overthinking, overanalysing separates the body from the mind
post 1696130053 01-09-2024, 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted By Condo41⏩
That's looksmaximus

I wonder if ol' jesus also smelled soiled loinclothes or whatever the fuk sloots used to wear back then.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1696130373 01-09-2024, 02:52 PM
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lol!!!
Overthinking, overanalysing separates the body from the mind
post 1696130443 01-09-2024, 02:54 PM
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I’m JesusI’m Jesus
post 1696130533 01-09-2024, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted By PrehistoricUFO⏩
The LORD would not come down to earth from On High and look like an incel.

He already chose to come down as a lowly man born in a low setting as He wished to save all - but even He refused to Norwood or take the age pill.

It over it over at 33. Age 33: mission complete with a low hairline while skinmaxxing.
It’s over
post 1696130883 01-09-2024, 03:04 PM
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#30
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Originally Posted By FrankCostanza⏩
Yeah because God's son would look like a mess.
Looks like Kenny Loggins.
*Simplicity is the key to life*

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