SRS

Everytime this happens I'm in total agony and panic that I might pass out from the absolute discomfort of shyt being stuck in my arse for 30-60 minutes.

It is so brootal that it finished Elvis

Eat some fruits and veges

Drink lots of water and take a fiber supplement, if you think that's bad wait till you get hemorrhoids.

I’m lactose intolerant, and can’t digest bread , spaghetti etc worth a chit . Don’t not use laxatives, but there’s these pills called stool softeners in the pharmacy that work wonders on breaking food down . I usually piss out of my @ss the next morning if I take two right after eating foods that bung me up the previous day .
Protein powder is my worst enemy for constipation ,both soy and whey . I found a protein powder derived from meat ,and it has been a blessing . Expensive AF of course .

There’s this doctor on YouTube that recommends extra virgin oil with chi seeds and cayenne pepper every morning .
Like holy fk , I did it the first morning, and when I got home I could barely hold it in .
Was just a fire hydrant when I started squatting on the toilet seat .

Are you taking anti inflammatorys , like codeine ? That chit will bung you up for weeks .
You probably need to increase your fiber in your diet also.

constipation comes from believing the retarded 1kg of protein per 1lb of bodyweight (ROFL no that wasn't a typo)

I bet you take in 400g of protein a day, don't you. And wonder why you're straining so hard you're chitting blood.

bro those fiber supplements like metamucil work well.
Or buy some prune juice. But dont drink too much. One time I drank like a liter to help with constipation and lets just say I definitely overdid it

Do you take Tylenol? It constipates me like nothing else. For some people ibuprofen does the same.

It really depends on what type of constipation you have for what works

Senakot - stimulates the intestines muscles to make it move
Milk of magnesium, etc - brings water into the stool to lube it up
Metamucil, psyllium husk, etc - fiber to break it up
Fleet - Stick it up your ass but I forget what it does but you chit in a couple minutes