Judging by my work persona and misc complaint threads, you might think I am a negative, neurotic, doomer with a chitty attitude, who is absolutely miserable to be around. At work, that’s probably true.

However the people I know in my personal life would never know it. I never project those negative emotions (ded fkin srs). To friends, family, neighbors, I simply come across as a really nice, laid back guy who is intelligent, competent, grounded and surprisingly positive about the world.

This is because I am a COMPLETELY different person at the office than in the real world.

At work, I come into the office with my head down, avoiding eye contact, making zero small talk, sulking through the halls waiting for my shift to end. I am well aware that I am disliked here and IDGAF.

Yet AS SOON as I clock out, the facade breaks down and it’s as if a literal boulder is lifted from my shoulders. I become my true self. I smile at people, engage in small talk with sloots at the grocery store, voice my opinions in conversation, brainstorm business ideas and give optimistic advice to friends. It’s almost like I have multiple personalities without the disorder lmao.

I think I’ve built a defense mechanism of withdrawing in anxious environments and I just cannot shake it. Can anyone relate?