We could talk about a million different reasons why he's not smashing. We could theorize and offer help all we want. We can question his swag, look, and personality.

But when it's all said and done, dude is just going to start laying down mediocre looking broads. Then he's going to try to parlay the mediocre broads into something halfway decent but nothing near what he originally envisioned as wifey material. Then after having a so-so girlfriend for a period a time, he will get the opportunity to cheat with something better or stay loyal to the girl who was down. This is the system, you can't beat it, you just have to learn to operate within it. I've seen it, I've lived it, there's really no way out. If you think you're going to come on a college campus as an average dude and slay a whole bunch of 9's and 10's, you're on crack. In reality, you play the odds, eventually bag an 8 and hope she's not a nympho.

I just wished dudes would keep it real with what is actually going on instead of acting like their current situation is really what they were looking for. We're too macho to admit failure, though. There's no 12 year old kids saying "When I grow up I want to smash 5's and 6's", but that's what a lot of dudes end up with.

Lol subbed.

edit:

someone post the thread that was made earlier about the guy who caught his wife masturbating and then asked a very philosophical question



and then someone find the:

"Aren't you the miscer who said that".. about 9/11

You know we don't know each other. We're from different worlds, it's weird, I just wonder if maybe it's okay to meet somebody outside of the people that you thought that you would usually meet? I guess I feel like you're probably putting up a defense because you're from a. . like a tough neighborhood . . like a black. . . I don't mean like black. . . like black… The thing is, when you meet somebody new, it kind of broadens your horizons. I want to get to know you.

Your eyes are too far apart . Nose is definitely
crooked . The shape of your face is not
aesthetically pleasing at all . You look like a 3 / 10
with make up in this photo . I don 't even want to
imagine what you look like without make up . I
actually just threw up in my mouth , just thinking
about it .
Your head is too big ( although that may be,
because of your giraffe neck posture ) . As for
your hair , lol. Seriously , do something . You look
like a horse.
Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds , and
you will see how ugly you are . The eyes which
are too far apart is what ruins /damages an
already ugly face even further . Unfortunately for
you, that can 't be surgically fixed , lol.
You arms are way too long . lol at how they hang
by your sides . Kind of reminds me of lurch . Don ' t even let me start on your pale
complexion . It only works if you look hot .
Unfortunately, you do not look hot . Its hard to
sum up a creature like you in one word . 'UGLY '
would be unfair , since it doesn't reflect how
repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it .
But somewhere in between , is where you would
be , on the scale of an average man.
I 'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh . Just so
you know , I sugar coated this post as much as
possible .
Have a nice day .

the whale took a bite of the apple to which the ant looked puzzled as why take the seed of life such as a goat standing in the meat room waiting to be slaughtered ? the whale does not need the apple, exclaimed the ant once cursed by the same emptiness as the whale but found light from the sun shining across his path of
choice . But as the ant knew it all is contained in the apple the seed of fortune and prosperity . If this being so maybe the goat has a choice but the sun does not shine on us all so we choose the apple maybe we can learn something from the whale and not the ant!

Okay…for my gay friends…i have a GREAT april fools joke! find the closest straight dude…promise him oral sex if you do something for him, then reveal that yer not attracted to him and say "APRIL FOOLS!" i've done it twice…Got me gaybashed but it was ****ing awesome xD

how about you slip your subtle slender pipe into my tender rectum

you start to cause friction between your sensitive foreskin and my ripe anus passage, I proceed to bend over further

my hamstrings tighten as your pelvis is thrusting my torso into submission, i can sense your premature cum all over my silk like hair


(no homo)

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

Dude, im gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and Im being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. youre a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking *******.

"listen u ****ing roided up little queer.

the ring isnt a place to pluck ur eyebrows and spike your ****ing hair or suck on ct****s cock in his free candy van this is strictly a place where i take ur pretty little ****ing face and bash it against the ground repeadetly until u look like ur ugly ****ing brother ruskidney watever that *******s ****ing name is and as for that queer ******* **** ct**** ill just stick home on one of the poles in the ring im sure he will just ass **** it the entire time. " - doitbig191 to Zyzz

"I'll fuk you til you love me *******" - Mike Tyson, Anonymous Miscers

"**** you ***got, why would you make this thread?Seriously, some of you need to get a life. What the **** do you call this kind of post? Did you just wake up today feeling retarded? Or maybe you woke up with half a brain. Anyhow, I don't appreciate when people say things just to say something. If it's not something you are sure others want to here, then don't say it at all. Maybe now you should just turn of your internet and go outside and do something with your life for a change. I maybe 12 years old but at least I have my priorities straight. I come on this forum to learn things, and get advices from the older more wiser members, but when I see a post like this, I cannot help it but feel like smashing my computer into pieces, since I can't smash your face since I don't even know where you live. Anyway, you might be thinking that I am being a little to harsh on you, but I did it for your own good, and any other retard that may be reading this"

"you have no idea how hard it is to get girls when you have ADHD like I do, do you realize I don't make eye contract with people 95% of the time and I am not even aware of it? well do you feel good for making fun of me, I took Ritalin for 8 years and this was after they experimetned on me with stuff that made me manic-depressive, well I used to sit outside during recess and read books and I became very good at spelling and grammar due to this, I won the spelling bee in high school, so some good came out of it at least. but yea I hope you feel good about yourself for making fun of me that I cant get chicks, but guess what, I am stronger than you."

"If there is a draft I'm going to go phuck **** up in the middle east. These iranians wont believe their damn eyes when they see my chiseled jawline smoking a cigar while bustin caps left n right son" squatrackcurlin

"Steve did I speak to you? No. So please take your ass elsewhere. I am TOMMY BIONDILLO. There are cities in Africa named after me. Do not talk **** to me or I will knock all your teeth out and make you give me a gum job." GottaBeHuge

"damn you guys are quick… I work during the days so it's tough for me to get on here.. I just started doing personal training and have become bombarded with requests.. I *will* post more pics.. a lot of the pics you guys are posting are 2-3 yrs old. I'm confident enough to say that I look much better in person and have been told that by many ppl. The physique that I have now has made a world of difference for me and I look like a different person (liek in zyzz's case).. I am constantly approached in the gym like today, by a gnc rep.. to do advertisements for fitness modeling. it's something i'm going to head towards. I dropped out of school to pursue this life and there is no chance I can fail at it. to anyone saying this is just a "good" picture of me is simply wrong. I could take much better pics, and they will be taken soon by a professional I am buddies with. as said before I think zyzz is a good looking guy but half the girls I get with would easily choose me over him because he's got a much different look than me." 3ebmike

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." Dumb bishes

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my life go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." Liam Neeson, Taken

"Your parents must be very proud of you. You are obviously a very intelligent young man." Anonymous

"i have a serum that I inject when I turn 40 it turns me into a baby, i've been alive for 10,000 years. I can be killed though, but I can't die by aging. For some odd reason I've gained abilities such as being able to control people's mind it's how i've stayed alive for so long, by controling the mind of parents to think i'm there son." Miscer who claimed he could read minds

"Fellaz, LISTEN UP. It isn't the feeling you get that makes getting your ass licked worth it. It's the idea that a ho would degrade themselves into licking a hairy beast of an area (atleast on me).I mean licking a hoez ass is one thing, slightly more groomed, and usually us guys demand a shower beforehand. However, I have routinely gotton hoez to lick my poop hole without even a wipe to clean out. I don't know about you, but I get stripes in my underwear on a daily, so it gives you an idea of what these hoez have to deal with. And man they do it with a damn smile on their face. That is why I like it, I make these hoez believe ( brainwash, traumatize, call it whatever) that this is their sole reason to exist."

"Live.Laugh.Love<3"

"A- The amount of attention i get from girls in one night would be more than what you would in a lifetime.

B- Australian festival and party scene is shirts off, footy shorts are commonly worn, you ignorant peice of ****

C- You would never look like me, even with steroids. They arent as magical as you think they are.

D- im 20 years old, at the peak of my life, id rather accelerate the process by taking gear than having the body i want at 30 year olds. They accelarate growth and repair, they dont make muscles grow on their own. i train twice as hard on cycle than off.

E- once again, you look like ****. You are the sort of ***got that looks at me and puts their head down when you see your fat girlfriend frothing.

I love hate, i dont ever arc up back to anyone, but you post about 20 times in my threads, get off my dick, im better looking, more popular, taller, have more friends, more intelligent (doing a business degree at sydney uni) and have a physique your inferior genetics can only dream of attaining. In short, GTFO bodybuilding.com and join skinnyfat.com" Zyzz to Abzbrah?

"do you even lift?"

"let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, its a very mean and nasty place and i dont care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permenently if you let it. you you or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it aint about how hard you hit its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. how much you can take and keep moving forward, thats how winning is done. Cause if you wanna go through all the battling that you gotta go through to get what ya wanna get to where you wanna get, who's got the right to stop you. I mean maybe some of you guys probably got something you never finished, something you really wanna do, something you never said or something and your told no, even after you pay your do's, who's got the right to tell you that who, nobody its yout right to listen to your gut and it aint nobodys right to say no untill you you earn the right to be what you wanna be and do what you wanna do. Now if you know what your worth, then go out and get what your worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers saying you aint where you want to be because of him and her or anybody. Cowards do that and that aint you, your better han that." Rocky movie

"I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion."
Patrick Bateman from American Psycho

"Don't ever call or txt me ever again, if i see you walking on the street move to the other side. I don't stay friends with my exes" Matty Bbop?

"I would drag my sac over 6.32 miles of salt-covered broken glass, syringes used by HIV patients, and worm-infested dog feces just to battle a hungry lion that once ate a gazelle that was fed by a tourist who shook hands with a guy that sniffed a chair she sat on 3 years ago"

ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15)

and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D… this is because her teacher is a prick… anywayz

so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."

So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.

then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.

i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.

any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?

"The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well … it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective… Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this was true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself to what you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you."

"would love tenderly with the essence of a thousand roses"

"Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album "Duke". Before that, I really didnt understand any of their work. Too artsy. Too intellectual. It was on "Duke" where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think "Invisible Touch" is the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time it deepens and enriches the meaning of the perceiving three albums. Christie, take off the robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins, and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, its sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why dont you dance a little? Take the lyrics to "Land of Confusion", in this song Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. "In Too Deep" is the most moving pop song of the 1980s about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting, their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christie, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your *******. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial, and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way, especially songs like "In The Air Tonight" and "Against All Odds". Sabrina, dont just stare at it, eat it! But I also think Phil Collins works best in the confines of the group than as a solo artist, and I stress the word "artist". This is "sussudio". A great, great song. A Personal favorite" Another Patrick Bateman

"YouRe MuH Boii DaWG I shAkE Da HaTaZ ofF LikE Dey LiCe oN a PiT BuLL

I mAY bE CuTeE Az AlL HeLL BuT I aInT No DuMMbY!

WhAt R U SuM KinD of IlLIteRatTE? Go 2 SkHewLSuP BoIi WuTz Ya MuhSpaCe?

SuP BoIi WuTz Ya MuhSpaCe?

WhY U NeG Me YoU MaD Cuz Im StYlIn On YoU CuPCaKe?

StYlIn On YoU RooDy PoO AsS is LikE my OcCuPatIoN I Do It sO MucH

SuP HoMiE I Get Tha ImPreSsiOn YouR ThA BiG MaN On CaMpuS In Dis JoInT
I coNsiDeR MySelF an Alfa MalE aND wAnT a PieCe Of Dat PiE
CoNsiDeR ThiS aN PeaCe TrEaTy / AlLiAnCe OfFerInG
HoLLa At Me WiD YuRR ThoUhgTs YG

yoU MusT be MaD Da Sh0RtiEz DoNt GivE YoU anY SecCOnD lUuks . . WhiLe I Can PuLL Mo a$$ ThAn A PuBlIc ToILeT SeaT
GeT FamIliAR

BiTcH aSs WanK Boii
GeT MaD aT Tha KiDDs SwaGG
YoU CaNt SeE Me oR ThA DusT oN mY aSS
Go PlaY In TRaFfIc YoU Pea BraInEd NiN Com PooP

YoUr CoMEbaCks R WeaK FoR ReaL IM DoNe WiT YoU . . unTil YoU GeT on MuH LeVeL PEaZe OuT

I GeT moRe GuRlz ThaN u CaN DreAm AboUt LiL caBroN

hatAz GeT MaD. . . True SolJas Get EveN
WatCh Ya BacKK Boii
WhY U FolLowinG me in EveRy ThreAd and ObSesSinG oVa Me? Go ChaSe dat GwaP or taIl… Not AnoTha Man . . WiLd JuNGle h0mO

I GeTz DowN and DirTy At Da Gym Boii Jus Got DoNe RePpIng 55s On DuMMbeLL BeNcH as EverYoNe StArEd At Me. . . I JuSS GoT Up. PUFfEd Out My SwoLLe Azz Chessy And ChEeSed. My FroNtz WaS LiGhTInG up Da PlAcE LikE Da 4Th of JuLy . . Mad RefLeCtiOns In Da MiRror. DudEs had to Cover They Eyes. " All of these are from RiCaN_SoUlJa

"Hello heavenly blessed beauty whose inner beauty is simply divine and everlasting."

"but at what cost?"

"Excellent thread comrade, really had me clinched to my chair wondering what the next event will be, will you marry her? will she reject you? you had my eyes glued to the screen, I can tell you've been threading for years now because this is 6 star quality right there ^. if I had to pick a fave part of this thread it'd have to be when you two cuddled in the bedroom all night. keep up the fantastic threading. Rapped/subscribed/rated 5 stars. "

"Thats interesting, because my housemate in college was a 5'1 Jewish kid who eventually got a Ph.D. in Math from M.I.T. Smart dude, very odd, just bookwormy and intense.
He came home from a day of river rafting and was wearing a pair of ridiculous tiny white shorts – straight 1970s that Leif Garrett probably had – and there was this ginormous THING going down his leg. We were having a party and every girl stopped and looked. Somebody told me it was reportedly 14 inches long when fully erect, but i didn't ask him.
Later that semester he came home with his girlfriend – a deaf girl. They communicated in sign language. That night in his bedroom, i heard a series of god-awful sounds that still give me nightmares. "

"You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense."

"Hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im… sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?" Classic YG quote

"would drag my dick through a mile of broken glass while being ****ed in the ass with a dildo just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie "

"Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like that to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know."

"The problem is your focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck."

"I suffer from a condition called hyperhydrosis which basically means my sweat glands are like leaky faucets. I am 28 years old but I wear adult diapers (Depends?) so that the back of my pants doesn't have a streak of wetness down them. At first this was all I used them for – to cover up the stain of my butt sweat – but over time I learned to enjoy wearing diapers for the other benefits they confer. I can pee in public. I can be speaking to somebody and I can literally pee my pants, and nobody has to know but me. There are very few things quite as stimulating as unloading my bladder into soft cottony absorbent material and letting my penis swim around in urine for a while before everything is absorbed. Yesterday I was talking to a woman I have a crush on and I peed myself, and it was the most erotic thing that ever happened to me. I tried pooping in them once but it was a horrible mess to clean up and it smelled bad"

"Are you aware I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy"

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."

"So I am 21 and my little sister is only 11. Anyways she gets in the shower and a little while later gets out and goes into her room to dress.
Like 3 seconds later she starts screaming and I am working out in my room doing my third rep of chest curls, so I have no shirt on. I immediatly drop my 50 lb weights and barge in and ask her what the fukc is wrong with her and she points up at the ceiling and its just a little stupid spider on the ceiling. Our ceiling is kind of high so I have to jump to get it. So i grab a magazine and jump up to swat it. and I hit it a little but it falls and lands right on my fukcing sisters head.
she immideatly drops her towel and starts swatting at her head screaming "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF" I notice it crawling down her back and it is still alive I drop the magazine because it wasnt working so well and i grab her shoulder with one hand to get control of her because she is flailing around like a maniac and then I am swatting at it with my only other free hand. and just then my parents burst in and see her naked and me in just my aids shorts spanking her rearend while she is crying her ****ing guts out.
Most embarassing day of my life. I tried to explain to them i was like "guys oh no wait there was a spider there was spider and stuff". and my little sister was still crying her guts oout and my dad just exploded and told me to "get in your fukcing room immediatly you sick fukcing predator". It doesnt help that a couple months ago they found a pair of her undies on my floor. I dont know how they got there but probably were stuck in my pants after mom did laundry or something.

i really feel like killing myself right now."

Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in this photo. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually just threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it.

Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture). As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse.

Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins/damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol.

You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. As for your tits, we all know there is extra padding there. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY' would be unfair, since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man.

I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible.

Have a nice day.

I just learned that girls farts smell better than video games.

Seriously. You know that new game package smell? Like when you just took off the wrapping? My god, its a glorious smell. I've masturbated sniffing this smell so many times. It's great and the main reason I still buy games.

But my sister just farted on the couch next to me while I was playing Street Fighter IV. She blushed got up fanned her ass and ran to the bathroom to, I assume, **** or maybe she **** herself while she was next to me, there was some extra bulge in the back of her jeans. Now let me reiterate. She was sitting directly next to me. In effect, she farted on my side and then waved fart gas from her butt to my face. Now you ****ing listen to me. This smelled glorious. I immediately became rock hard and didn't give a ****, I pulled my cock out and masturbated right there smelling my own sister fart. I didn't even care that I got beat by a scrub Ken while I was jerking off.



Excellent thread comrade, really had me clinched to my chair wondering what the next event will be, will the nerdy guy kill you? steal your phone? you had my eyes glued to the screen, I can tell you've been threading for years now because this is 6 star quality right there ^. if I had to pick a fave part of this thread it'd have to be when that homo nerd is obsessed with you. keep up the fantastic threading. Repped/subscribed/rated 5 stars.


Women's ego feed on attention they get. How many heads she turns. How many guys would like to sleep with her if she desired so. Cut off the attention supply and you're literally sweeping the carpet from under her feet.

It's easy to be a slut. It's hard to be a stud. To be a stud you have to have a nice car, good job, nice house, look good, be clean, etc etc. To be a slut you just have to be there.

"bro, if a key can unlock many doors then it's an awesome key..

but if a door can be unlocked by 10 keys, then it's a crappy slutty door"


Six tubs of celltech,
Five negtrains,
Four legendary threads,
Three mod reps,
Two biceps,
And a partridge in a pear tree

Your strong point is your very low bodyfat. Your weak point is your size. I would say EAT, EAT, EAT. Since you're an ecto, you can eat alot without gaining too much fat, but you don't want to risk it, so I would say get a clean diet with some COMPLEX CARBS and some good quality protein, like whey and casein (cottage cheese) before bed. Again, you're nice and cut and I'm assuming you want to stay that way, so hit the weights like a madman and eat like a madman who's never been fed before, by this I mean to eat ALOT of CLEAN calories, not just everything you see in sight.
Make sure to get some rice, potatoes, cottage cheese before bed, whey protein, some lean meats like chicken and turkey, and some lean beef. You must eat at least 5 meals a day, with 2-3 hour intervals between each meal.

Keep up the good work.

bookmarked!

bumping for more

moar boar

subscribed

I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn?t like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn?t possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father?s harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school?s star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all. By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable, and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish - Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything! Yet he has never done one simple thing that we all take for granted every day, he met his father. He never played catch with his father, he never talked about women with his father. He never would. He died at the age of 63 when his parachute didn?t open when he was base jumping from Dagger Mountain in Washington, USA. Over three thousand people attended his funeral. Now "girl", I know what you are thinking. How does this story relate to me? Well I want you to go all the way back to the beginning of the story and remember the woman who gave birth to this incredible boy. You are like this woman. You are like this women because you are a whore.

Yeah in hindsight i should have just gone over and necked her. Simple. But at the time after a few and the fact anger was building up in me i suppose i can see why its seen as an over reaction, it has happened once before, but years ago, neither of us were thrown out, bascially a push fight where i said **** off, he mouthed off, me and mrs walked away. But my mate that said "im overprotective and jealous" has a mrs who is a bit on the chubby side and i dont think has ever been bothered by blokes.

As for the boucners - yes can see why they thought i was the aggresor, but surely choking me within an inch of my inch while another one repeatedly uppercutted me in the face is a bit of an over reaction surely? especially when i didnt even throw a punch!

winrar rofl

funnie

hahahahaha need to bump this so many lolz

First of all, stop making threads with the emphasis of those threads on you being "Natural 19 year old bodybuilder". Anybody who watches your videos or has seen your pictures, kunt, knows instantaneously that you are natural. And one could only take the route of assumption that if you were not indeed natural, that you are probably the biggest failure bicycle rider of all time. You would be the Special Olympics version of Lance Armstrong without legs OR the cancer recovery.

Second of all, I'm lol'ing at the title of the video. You refer to yourself as a muzza… Yet it is abundantly clear that you are the furthest thing from a muzza. You're a geek white kid who's sat around on the internet for years watching zyzz videos believing that all you need to do in life is falsely-emulate his style in order to attain success and quasi [internet] fame. Oh how false you are. I can back that claim up by immediately referring to the other part of your fail-name youtube video, in which you believe you are 'tanking' around the city. If you're a tank, then Julia Gillard had better order a f*cking country-wide recall on Australia's military vehicles because you resemble something closer to a human giraffe with a semi-decent upper body and Tinkerbell's lower body. *******.

Thirdly and lastly… It is blatantly obvious to anybody with any ounce of life experience and/or genuine personality that you are nothing more than the single biggest try-hard ******* to ever put his pansy foot onto God's great Earth. And no, I'm not referring to Zyzz when I use the term 'God', you nut-hugging kunt. Clearly you were a moderately liked person in school, if that, who turned to lifting because he didn't have an ounce of genuine charisma. You epitomize the social-f*cktard. You epitomize the "was once a beta introvert, now striving so hard to become an extravert that I'm unable to distinguish myself from a transvestite cross-dressing try-hard ******* from the Red Light District".

Enjoy trying to build yourself a reputation through your overly forced persona. But anybody who knows anything, can tell that you really ain't ****, pal.

Good day.

subbed

OP that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimers disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you OP.

Openers:

I came across your profile and was quite enamored by such an articulate and heavenly blessed beauty. I would be kicking myself if I didn't ask, so I was wondering if you would accept an engagement of witty banter between two intellectuals? Of course this "engagement" may start off as purely platonic but my sensual desires will most likely guide our cohesive unity down more erotic, lascivious, and sexual paths that will include but are not limited to passionate make out sessions under the star lit sky, dry humping, fondling each others naughty parts inducing orgasms, and an abundance of new uncharted sexual positions where I assert my pure dominance in establishing a realm of absolute sovereignty in your nether regions.
Is this something you would be interested in pursuing?


So I messaged you just to chat but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you chat with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

For our first date how bout some dinner? I was thinking we could base jump to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, while we're falling I would whip out a box of camping matches and cook you a can of Progresso Chicken Noodle soup and we could discuss the difference between jam and jelly. If we really hit it off then you can eat it from my mouth when we get to the bottom. But I'll bring a bowl just in case.

I would chop off both of my hands with a salty turkey carver then swim through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back pumping my face into the water for a chance to run the fingers of one of my prosthetic hands through your beautiful hair.

I would let a blind epileptic man shave my entire body with a hunters knife then ride a pool noodle through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back fist pumping my head just to get the chance to purchase your bikini bottoms after they had been donated to Goodwill then bought and worn by a homeless male prostitute for 5 years.

This has never happened before, but I was looking at your profile pictures and you have managed to seduce my clothes off with out even saying a word. I'm almost scared for when you message me back cuz I don't know what will happen


I would hug a cactus then swim thru shark infested salt water to the arctic to do battle with an angry mother polar bear on a 2x2 foot iceberg for the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam over a dial up connection.

Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear "I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice


I would recite the Chinese alphabet backwards with Rosie O'Donnell on my back spitting gravy in my face just to get a chance to make a call to a disconnected phone number with that cell phone after its been dragged thru 4 miles of elephant feces.

Oh my goodness! I just lost all of today's workout gainz from sitting here sweating profusely and looking at your profile pictures. I hope you're happy, you are the sole cause behind the genocide of thousands of my unborn offspring. I think you at least owe me a protein shake or something.
I was almost too embarrassed to say this, but since you only accept longer messages I'll just spit it out. I would suck the dick of your ex-boyfriend just to get a taste of you

I would do battle with a family of wolverines inside of a port-o-potty with my hands tied behind my back and an anal bead flail strapped to my head as my only weapon just to get the chance to split a 5th of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born.

If she has big boobs… Holy gigantic jugs Batman! Don't get me wrong a girl with a sense of humor and whit is good too, but I can't motorboat a personality.

I think the next time I go to the sperm bank I'm going to use you profile pictures

You have a striking resemblance to the girl I lost my virginity to. I'm willing to make the same mistake twice, if ya know what im sayin

Your profile pictures have put me in quite a predicament. I'm dripping in sweat, my protein shake has gone from my mouth to my lap, and now I'm sitting hear harder than a diamond in a sandstorm. So while I'm dealing with this situation you should take a look at my profile, heck, even masturbate to my pictures if you want, I don't know what kind of stuff you're into but I think we could put the Circus Ole acrobats to shame on the cabin floor……

I would strap 45lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you

I would lick gravy from the crevices of Ralphie May's thighs to have a conversation with you over a syphilis ridden cell phone with bad reception

I would belly flop into a pool of AIDS infested needles just to put my name in a hat with 1 million other names for a chance to caress your beautiful legs while wearing gloves.

I would simply walk into Mordor and wage war against all of the orks wielding a dwarf as my only weapon and Smeagol on my back punching me in the eye for a chance to share a candle lit dinner involving a big Zak Snak, fried cheddar bites, me and my precious, which would be you, of course.

Good lord my heavenly blessed beauty who's beauty is divine and everlasting. If there were ever a picture beside the word 'cute' in that heavy @$$ book that Webster published it would be those earrings you're sporting in your profile pic

-"If you killed a zombie, they'd come back as a " Negative power zombie". They're twice as powerful. That's why when killing a zombie, you have to kill them right the first time.

As everyone knows or should know, zombies are powered by two different methods: Magic and Man-made biologic experiments.

Magic zombies are usually minions of a sorcerer or voodoo doctor. They use spells to turn the dead into "walking dead".
The best way to get rid of magic powered zombies is to kill the person who did the spell. This will sever the magic ties between the spell caster and the minions (zombies). Almost like cutting your battery cables from electronic accessories.

Unfortunately, it is very difficult to find the person who performed the spell. So, the most efficient way to kill individual magic zombies is to:

-Take it down to the floor by any means.
-Sever all limbs from body, including the head. (This will prevent them from running, using their arms to attack and their head bitting you.)
-Burn the the body parts. (Magic can be neutralized by fire.)

Sure, you can just set them on fire without cutting their limbs. But remember, fire takes exactly 5 minutes and 43 seconds to neutralize the magic in the body of a 185 lb magic zombie. And worst of all, magic zombies are the ONLY ZOMBIES WITH THE ABILITY TO RUN!. Now, imagine a zombie that's on fire, sprinting after you.

So remember, cut their limbs and head then set ablaze.


Now moving on to Man-made biologic experiments zombies.

Man-made zombies are usually made by accident. Science is always experimenting with new bacteria and living organisms. Sometimes these organisms have unwanted effects. For example: It is a fact that if you mix 3-parts sodium chloride, 4-parts Capsicum annuum, 2-parts albumen and mix it with 2 mg of Atorvastatin and heat it to 175 F. degrees then pour it on a dead body it becomes a zombie.

Although it is a fact that bio zombies are easier to kill individually due to the fact that they CANNOT RUN and generally move very slowly, they are no less dangerous than magic zombies.

Unlike magic zombies, bio zombies have no one source of power. To get rid of every single bio zombie you'd have to keep killing them until none is left.
This sounds simple in theory. But in practice, it makes it very difficult because bio zombies multiply very fast. If any animal gets the bio zombie bacteria into their blood system, they too turn into a zombie.
Just a imagine a world full of zombie humans, rats, dogs, fish, sharks,etc…

To kill a man-made bio zombie is a very simple process, due to their lack of speed. Just remember not to let them bite or scratch you. It is best to wear leather clothing to armor your skin against bites or scratches, like a biker.

Only thing needed to kill a bio zombie is to:


-Shoot the brain or sever the head

Despite being "dead", bio zombies still use their nervous system to transmit messages from the brain. So server the head or shoot the brain to make it uninhabitable to the bacteria that transforms bodies into zombies.

Note: NEVER TRY MMA MOVES ON ANY KIND OF ZOMBIE, YOU WILL GET BITTEN AND TURN INTO ONE OF THEM. "






-'"-Years back, there was a pretty neighbor girl. I could have made her my girlfriend. But 1 day she came to my home and my mom gave her a banana to eat. She finished eating and then asked me where should I put the peal of the banana. I told her put it in the bank. She left being a bit angry. I lost so many good chances in the past due to these type of reasons. Anyway who cares about the past. Only I care about present and future."

this thread saved my life