this is for the best copy pastas for pof and just all around trolling i will start

has anyone been as far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like….actually ur just really cute and i just wanted to get ur attention

You mad? Why you mad? I aint even mad. Have a smiley face on me . Chicks love them some smiley faces. So here have some more . You still mad? You still mad?

It is abnormal to you because the square root of the box you live in is the exact size of the moons shadow - minus the round edges

I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

"Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too."

Hey I noticed your giving your thumbs up to me for viewing your profile, did you know that I was once walking through the woods and I saw a thumb on the floor it was deformed and the nail was half hanging off. I didnt know what to do so I picked it up and put it in my bag, long story short I cant find it and lost it in my room, could you help me find it?

Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, they can breathe fire. 93% of people won't copy and paste this, because they have been eaten by dragons.

I like turtles because theyre so chill. They dont hurt anyone. Theyre just like, Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But Im gonna take my time getting there, Im not in a rush. Because Im a turtle.

I just tried to change my password to penis, but it said it was too short

Im as pissed off as a midget with a yo-yo

SOBER is actually an acronym that stands for: Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real

I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental

I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

fact: It's not masturbation if you use a puppet.

I would love to start working out, but I'm beefing up for my "before" picture

Do you know CPR because my dick stopped breathing.

i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

"The fact that you were able to type out over 100 characters on your short time away from the kitchen is either impressive on your part, or shameful on the man who owns you"

"I had a dream of us holding hands miles from here, breaking free of this world, loving truly, the span of a moment, pure love unleashed. <3" – omglazer, from a text he found on his old phone.

sometimes….i think about wearing floaties….because, when i look at your pictures, i honestly feel like I'm gonna drown in your beauty

""listen bitch, i have the balls in this relationship and we're eating at 1 of 3 places, burger king, mcdonalds, or taco bell. and you get to eat off the dollar menu because you're not worth more than that. then after you're goin to suck my dick in the back of my car, got it?"

fast misc is fast

the white knight copy pasta lol

I can imagine myself walking in the sunset, holding hands and smiling. Hearing the crash of the waves as a gentle breeze flows through my body and hair. Walking miles and miles, while the moon rises high into the sky. The whole world is asleep, but I am the only one living a dream. The graceful peace, settling into my heart. For once I actually feel alive. This is what it should feel like. This is how you're supposed to live. A longing sense of comfort. And as we lay on the sand staring into the night sky, the stars become brighter and multiply. Soon enough, the dark sky is brightened by each star's shine. We close our eyes, hand in hand and lie in a moment of silence when all we can hear in the background is the calm waves alining upon the shore and the light night breeze. We make a wish and lie together in a few more moments, appreciating eachother for everything we are. We then both open our eyes to the diamond-like sky, staring for a brief moment as we then both turn to eachother, lying on our sides. I am looking into your eyes and you are looking into mine. I look at every inch of your body, then interlocking my eyes into yours once again. I inhale as you take a deep breath. I then begin to speak in a soft whisper. I tell you this is everything. You are all I've wanted. You were in all my dreams. You love me the way I wanted. You care for me like no one else has. I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, everything you've spent on me, everything you've said to me and everything you've felt for me. You are the only one I want. I am in love with you. Please keep me forever. Locked away in the eternity of time. You are different. You give me ideas. Thoughts, feelings, unlived visions of places I've never been or never knew existed, walking beside you in every one. It may be simple to state how I feel about you and say I love you a thousand times, but it is all too complex to fully give you the understanding of the meaning of the immense amount of love and appreciation I have for you. I tell you you're the one. You're everything anyone could ever ask for. I am thankful to have you in my life. I love you. I then pause and look into your eyes. You don't say anything. You can see the moon reflecting onto the calm ocean. A warm chilling feeling flows throughout my body as I watch you begin to slowly close your eyes and bring your body closer to me. Your face inching towards mine. As I close my eyes, I take one deep breath, tasting the chilled ocean air. I slowly bring myself closer to you, as you put your arms around me. I can feel your body heat and your soft hands touching my body. Our lips then touch. We kiss. Passionate, gentle, everlasting. This one kiss expresses all my thoughts, feelings, emotions and every little detail of every little existing idea, dream, form of all the words and feelings that I've developed for you. That moment, it was all unveiled. We lied there for minutes, sharing this dream we both created together. As we slowly move our faces away, I lay my head upon your shoulder and your arms around my body. The night had never seemed so bright and beautiful up until this day. It's like the world turned and everything completely changed. Everything was clear and I can actually breathe and feel each beat of my heart pound against my chest, as the blood slowly flows through my body. I can feel, hear, touch, taste, see, smell and understand everything, in what now feels like what is heaven. Lifelessly floating on a cloud, feeling fully alive. The feeling of being so unrealistically content and that a perfect life and person can exist is far beyond anything I could have ever perceived. You are my savior and meaning for existance. I thank you for everything you will do and being there, always. We lie, staring into the sky feeling the air get colder as the night becomes later. It doesn't bother me though. My body is filled with a warming sense of completion. Everything I'd dreamed of having is fulfilled, finally. I close my eyes and daydream once again of having and sharing this same exact moment with you. Soon enough the stars slowly fade away as the sky becomes lighter and the light of the sun pierces through the sky, slowly rising as time repeats itself once again. But this time is new. The feeling of being reborn into a life that you feel you've lived every single day. It feels so right. Life is beautiful with you. I appreciate things much more thoroughly. I love you. I always will.

I never knew my dad. **** my mom, she threw me out of the house before I was even 13. Then she has the gall to try and keep in touch with me after that. Granted my life living with her was ****ty too. I had one friend growing up, the only other kid in town. My entire childhood with him was spent getting the **** kicked out of myself and then listening to him tell me how worthless I was. Not like I had a choice though, there was only nine ****ing people in the town. I **** you not. So I didn't miss the place, but after leaving I spent my entire adolescence wandering the country from town to town.

My only friend at the time was an Asian guy in his mid-thirties who only hung around with me since he thought I'd get him laid. When I first met the guy we got in a huge brawl and he almost killed my pet, a tiny rodent I carried with me. Only after I beat him did he want to have anything to do with me. There was a perk though, this cute red headed girl that started hanging around. She was some kind of a sadist though, she liked to beat me up and talk about water and ****. I think she was a little crazy, but hey, aren't we all?

Well some of us are a little loony, but the bane of my ****ing existence was this loony as **** adult couple. They where one of those kinds that dresses alike and finishes each others sentences. Then they had this crazy cat with them too, the ****ing thing would not shut up. Let alone the ****ing thing always tried to like steal my pet rat and eat it. Damn thing needed a good boot to the face.

I got to see a lot of crazy places, which was nice, but it was an episode after episode to get anywhere.

So my life was ****ing weird, I spent the time traveling from town to town getting in fights with kids and adults. The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokeman master.

One day I'm gunna come across the guy who originally posted this and he's gunna beat my a**…


"Mother ****er can you not see i am busy and no you may not work in with me because i am not stripping my weigh off for your weak ass. And no you may not stand behind me with your arms crossed waiting for me to be done. How many sets do i have left? AS MANY AS I ****ING WANT TO DO, guess what now im going to add 3 more sets into my routine just so you can wait longer. OH NOW YOUR MAD? Well GTFO of my gym BITCH!!!!!!!!!!"

bump for more

bumpin

First we sky dive out of Airforce one because president ford told us to "get off his plane". Then we land nicely on my speed boat driven by Charlies Angels and gulp down some mimosas real fast so there's time to put on our leather jackets and jump the shark. The crowd goes wild(I'm kind of a big deal). Magnanimous man that i am, i wave my muscled arm and smile my chiseled jaw. Laughing my hearty laugh, i tell you to wait as i fetch my Lamborghini. You wait with baited breath as i zoom towards you. Just as you start to fear obliteration, I turn the wheel sharply and do a barrel roll right above you. Only this isn't just any barrel roll. I hand you a rose as our paths cross and eyes meet. The car slides to a graceful stop and i gesture for you to get in. We drive of to the island's summit where my helicopter to Jurassic Park awaits. We've spared no expenses

are these just any copy pastas or just pof ones?

So I messaged you just to chat but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well,
end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it,
I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a
few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally get past this
sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship
is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion,
you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway,
only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids,
but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really
good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside
affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so)
and we have to explain to the kids why mummy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children.
For God's sake, if you chat with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
__________________

any it don't matter

no hes just gonna phuck your ass

Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking *******.

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.



Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking *******



lmagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.




are you aware that whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species1. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the loser, and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Greens are set aside in a Brandy Snifter, both in homage to rockers of old2, and for small amounts of self indulgence3 as the championship is underway.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 35 card reading, Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this grant money. I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Anything from the books of Chronicles in the bible:

1Adam, Sheth, Enosh,

2Kenan, Mahalaleel, Jered,

3Henoch, Methuselah, Lamech,

4Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

5The sons of Japheth; Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.

6And the sons of Gomer; Ashchenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah.

7And the sons of Javan; Elishah, and Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim.

8The sons of Ham; Cush, and Mizraim, Put, and Canaan.

9And the sons of Cush; Seba, and Havilah, and Sabta, and Raamah, and Sabtecha. And the sons of Raamah; Sheba, and Dedan.

10And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be mighty upon the earth.

11And Mizraim begat Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim,

12And Pathrusim, and Casluhim, (of whom came the Philistines,) and Caphthorim.

13And Canaan begat Zidon his firstborn, and Heth,

14The Jebusite also, and the Amorite, and the Girga****e,

15And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

16And the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the Hamathite.

17The sons of Shem; Elam, and Asshur, and Arphaxad, and Lud, and Aram, and Uz, and Hul, and Gether, and Meshech.

18And Arphaxad begat Shelah, and Shelah begat Eber.

19And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg; because in his days the earth was divided: and his brother's name was Joktan.

20And Joktan begat Almodad, and Sheleph, and Hazarmaveth, and Jerah,

21Hadoram also, and Uzal, and Diklah,

22And Ebal, and Abimael, and Sheba,

23And Ophir, and Havilah, and Jobab. All these were the sons of Joktan.

24Shem, Arphaxad, Shelah,

25Eber, Peleg, Reu,

26Serug, Nahor, Terah,

27Abram; the same is Abraham.

28The sons of Abraham; Isaac, and Ishmael.

29These are their generations: The firstborn of Ishmael, Nebaioth; then Kedar, and Adbeel, and Mibsam,

30Mishma, and Dumah, Massa, Hadad, and Tema,

31Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. These are the sons of Ishmael.

32Now the sons of Keturah, Abraham's concubine: she bare Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. And the sons of Jokshan; Sheba, and Dedan.

33And the sons of Midian; Ephah, and Epher, and Henoch, and Abida, and Eldaah. All these are the sons of Keturah.

34And Abraham begat Isaac. The sons of Isaac; Esau and Israel.

35The sons of Esau; Eliphaz, Reuel, and Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah.

36The sons of Eliphaz; Teman, and Omar, Zephi, and Gatam, Kenaz, and Timna, and Amalek.

37The sons of Reuel; Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah.

38And the sons of Seir; Lotan, and Shobal, and Zibeon, and Anah, and Dishon, and Ezar, and Dishan.

39And the sons of Lotan; Hori, and Homam: and Timna was Lotan's sister.

40The sons of Shobal; Alian, and Manahath, and Ebal, Shephi, and Onam. and the sons of Zibeon; Aiah, and Anah.

41The sons of Anah; Dishon. And the sons of Dishon; Amram, and Eshban, and Ithran, and Cheran.

42The sons of Ezer; Bilhan, and Zavan, and Jakan. The sons of Dishan; Uz, and Aran.

43Now these are the kings that reigned in the land of Edom before any king reigned over the children of Israel; Bela the son of Beor: and the name of his city was Dinhabah.

44And when Bela was dead, Jobab the son of Zerah of Bozrah reigned in his stead.

45And when Jobab was dead, Husham of the land of the Temanites reigned in his stead.

46And when Husham was dead, Hadad the son of Bedad, which smote Midian in the field of Moab, reigned in his stead: and the name of his city was Avith.

47And when Hadad was dead, Samlah of Masrekah reigned in his stead.

48And when Samlah was dead, Shaul of Rehoboth by the river reigned in his stead.

49And when Shaul was dead, Baalhanan the son of Achbor reigned in his stead.

50And when Baalhanan was dead, Hadad reigned in his stead: and the name of his city was Pai; and his wife's name was Mehetabel, the daughter of Matred, the daughter of Mezahab.

51Hadad died also. And the dukes of Edom were; duke Timnah, duke Aliah, duke Jetheth,

52Duke Aholibamah, duke Elah, duke Pinon,

53Duke Kenaz, duke Teman, duke Mibzar,

54Duke Magdiel, duke Iram. These are the dukes of Edom.


Chapter 2…

innnnnnn

going to troll some PoF with some of these. lol

fukking looooooooooool

source?

FYI: I have relatives from not so far back that were Namibian tribesman. They happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I don't know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely **** yourself if you ever saw a real life lion.. especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. Come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the Zambutu Bibjano; aka the trial of life. Until you have done half the **** that they have maybe you shouldn't even talk to me like this. I know you think you're hard and **** but guess what pal.. you aren't. Now go grow some Namibian genes and we'll talk about this **** for real

lol i fuking love these. I always post them on random peoples statuses for say many lulz

bumping 4 more

in!

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133435783

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys, they were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air"

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
License plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air!

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, homes smell you later!"
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air

will post the germanic one later

Yeah I read that too. Are you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Is that your thing? You come into a forum, you copy some obscure passage and then paste it off as your own idea just to impress some mods and neg my friend? See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: One, don't do that. And two, you dropped $150 on some ****in’ Cell Tech which you could have got for $10.50 in generic brand creatine.

The answer is clearly 288

On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag.

I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.

I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don't want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don't. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?

Moar