09-15-2024, 02:10 AM
#1021
Day 6 - Woke up in a pretty positive mood today with no overt withdrawal symptoms. First time since Wednesday this has happened. I feel clear headed, stable and optimistic. Physically I’m dealing with a blocked nose and sensitive eyes, and they both seem to be getting worse the longer I’m awake without caffeine, but less severe than before. I also had a really good night’s sleep, when I woke up I was shocked to see it was only 9am as it felt like I’d slept until the afternoon.
This is a really good sign and likely shows that I have adjusted to 125mg of caffeine. The bad news is today I plan to lower it to 100mg so this will probably kick-start another round of withdrawals. But hopefully my body will adjust just as quickly to this new dose.
Ticked off another day with PMO and starting to enjoy some of the benefits of that. Definitely feel an influx of sexual energy. The first few days after a relapse I always feel so sluggish and I’m looking forward to getting beyond the first week. Abstaining has continued to be easy so far with no urges.
Nicotine-free too, approaching two full months without it now. No cravings to speak of yesterday. I do still miss it. In truth, if I could bring back one of the big three with no consequences it would be nicotine. That’s strange because it’s neither the one with the worst relapse record (PMO) nor the one with the worst withdrawals (caffeine) but it is the one that I feel the most longing for. It has definitely left a void. But I am committed to quitting and willing to sacrifice my love for nicotine for the greater good.
Optimistic about the potential benefits that will come from quitting porn, nicotine and caffeine. My faith fluctuates but the truth is it is basically inevitable that significant improvements will happen as a result. It just takes a bit of time for the brain and body to adjust to life without the big three. And it is also essential that all three are removed to allow real healing to occur.
It’s also vital that I address my internet use too as, to a lesser extent, this is also a contributor. Yesterday I spent a lot of time online again and it is hogging my attention. I am definitely using it as a form of distraction and it feels like I am more dependent on it now. A key part of breaking free from the big three is that my energy goes into new pursuits and constant internet use makes this impossible. I have to tackle this.
Nothing to talk about other than this. Lifestyle is still pretty poor so needs some work. I have got a couple of prospects on the job front finally so will have an interview next week. Dating apps have picked up in terms of matches but the potential dates didn’t lead anywhere. All in all my focus is dominated by caffeine withdrawals (even though much better today) and this has slowed down the rest of my life. That’s okay, I have to accept it as an investment in my future
This is a really good sign and likely shows that I have adjusted to 125mg of caffeine. The bad news is today I plan to lower it to 100mg so this will probably kick-start another round of withdrawals. But hopefully my body will adjust just as quickly to this new dose.
Ticked off another day with PMO and starting to enjoy some of the benefits of that. Definitely feel an influx of sexual energy. The first few days after a relapse I always feel so sluggish and I’m looking forward to getting beyond the first week. Abstaining has continued to be easy so far with no urges.
Nicotine-free too, approaching two full months without it now. No cravings to speak of yesterday. I do still miss it. In truth, if I could bring back one of the big three with no consequences it would be nicotine. That’s strange because it’s neither the one with the worst relapse record (PMO) nor the one with the worst withdrawals (caffeine) but it is the one that I feel the most longing for. It has definitely left a void. But I am committed to quitting and willing to sacrifice my love for nicotine for the greater good.
Optimistic about the potential benefits that will come from quitting porn, nicotine and caffeine. My faith fluctuates but the truth is it is basically inevitable that significant improvements will happen as a result. It just takes a bit of time for the brain and body to adjust to life without the big three. And it is also essential that all three are removed to allow real healing to occur.
It’s also vital that I address my internet use too as, to a lesser extent, this is also a contributor. Yesterday I spent a lot of time online again and it is hogging my attention. I am definitely using it as a form of distraction and it feels like I am more dependent on it now. A key part of breaking free from the big three is that my energy goes into new pursuits and constant internet use makes this impossible. I have to tackle this.
Nothing to talk about other than this. Lifestyle is still pretty poor so needs some work. I have got a couple of prospects on the job front finally so will have an interview next week. Dating apps have picked up in terms of matches but the potential dates didn’t lead anywhere. All in all my focus is dominated by caffeine withdrawals (even though much better today) and this has slowed down the rest of my life. That’s okay, I have to accept it as an investment in my future
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