OP teach us your wizardry….

After a rigorously brief overview of your profile, I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories… you will always have a special place in my heart.

your ex-hubby,

xxxxxxxxx

p.s.
You can keep the beach house in Florida as long as I can have the dog and my CD's back.

Ill show u what an ugly kunt can do to a pretty boi like urself, like I said ill bite ur ****ing nose off ******* wont b so pretty then ay dikhead? Wow u think ur a mad Kunt! Others talked to me and met up with me not pretty bois like urself either fuk wit. Get off ur high chair kunt. As for u im not worried u only have size over me lol, dont matter how big u r, u still bleed like ne other kunt. Like I said fight me see what happens, as for ur sake ud wanna know how to throw that weight around.. u best b prepared to knock me out or kill me kunt cus ill go hectic on u kunt. An yer il bite ya ****ing face off *******, better be prepared to loose ur image kunt. As for ur mates ill bring myy tonga mate again, his naturally bigger then u all lol, and he knows how to use his weight guarenfukingteed.. so bring it bitch

Any new ones*

Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in this photo. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually just threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it.

Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture). As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse.

Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins/damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol.

You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. As for your ****, we all know there is extra padding there. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY' would be unfair, since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man.

I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible

You finally did something to make the entire misc hate you. The whole misc. You finally did it. Even I used to think you weren't that bad. Now you can GTFO. You can sit behind your computer and act like it doesn't bother you that an entire forum of good-looking, in-shape guys think you're an ugly fat piece of **** but deep down like every female it's eating away at your conscience. The more time you spend on here, the more it's gonna build up, and eventually one day you're gonna say **** it and go back to being an even fatter piece of **** you were when you first started…and you know what's sad about it? You don't even have the personality to make up for being an ugly fat bitch. Rot in hell, but before that COME AT ME BRO. Goodnight sweet princess.


I will watch her from across the room, and quickly get an erection. Then I will begin doing barbell shrugs while maintaining my cold gaze, and each time the barbell knocks against my erection I will let out a subtly sexual "oooooh". The female, witnessing my display of virility, will be transfixed on me in the mirror, her eyes darting from my expressive face to my bulging erection being thrown around by the barbell like a ship in a storm. Her defeat is inevitable; those pink dumbbells will feel heavier and heavier as she yearns to end her workout and initiate conversation with her potent observer. The game is won, obtaining her digits merely a triviality. I return to my workout with my carnal lust sated… for now.



OP that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you OP.

I ****ing subscribed to this thread OP. I subscribed to this thread because I was foreseeing vast amounts of ****ing pics and sh*t. I stayed up til 5 AM in the hopes of seeing that stupid fat ****ing whale of yours sucking that d. Now, instead of living vicariously through your **** you call a life, it's almost dawn and I haven't even seen one saggy pathetic milf tit. You call yourself a poster OP… well **** you. I've got a better chance of receiving a delivery from UPS on a Sunday you stupid ****.

Bumping old thrad.
inb4negs

your mom wants us and she cant resist us haha you never know lil man one of us could actually be your dad haha my friend zach has lost his mind he eats his girlfriends fingers and toes and he buries them in his backyard andhe is poor so he sniffs dirt to get high and he steals peoples gas cans and drinks it and he is homeless and has to cut his hair and beard with nail clippers and he has actually gotten better at it over the years

Check sig.

…

If the women you send this to do a google search you are busted and will not get poonany

lawddddy

bump

This is literally the best thing I've read all morning. Hahaha.
Wish the guy wasn't banned so I could rep him.

in and MOAR

Greetings your majesty. Your aesthetically pleasing qualities have an affect on my lower counterparts. I request that you travel with me to my dwellings and insert your magical warrior sword into my medieval sausage pouch to create a force so great, it is impenetrable, not even the deadly weapons of a thousand Spartans could slay. Do forth as I say oh great one, and release your wrath and fury into my nether regions and I will crown thee, King of Sharta.

all ya virgin nigs gotsa get tha fuk out n do work yall is sum lame ass nuggas real talk

Could someone direct to the copypasta which goes she told me to come at her so I came inside. Been looking for a while.

Bump

subbed.

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

……

>last year
>at burger king
>ordering two large whoppers, onion rings, and milkshake
>"here you go sir, enjoy your meal!"
>"you too"
>"what?"
>"…n-nothin but guts!"
>think to myself "wtf that didn't make any sense"
>awkward silence
>she tells her co-worker she's going to the bathroom and starts to leave
>"wait I didn't mean that let me start over please!"
>she goes through a door out of sight
>"WAIT!"
>I try to jump over the counter but forget my meal is right in front of me on the counter
>slide over the counter and onto the floor on the other side
>huge mess, my meal and clothes are ruined
>burger king employees yelling at me
>run after her into the women's restroom
>"cashier girl are you in here!? I'm sorry what I said wasn't what I meant please let me start over!"
>"what the hell, get out of here!"
>"no please listen what I meant to say w-was I-I want to be with you"
>she screams
>another woman comes in the restroom and sees me covered in whoppers and onion rings with my pants down and screams
>notice my pants are down
>a black guy in a grimace costume drags me outside and tells me I'm banned from burger king
>I demand a refund for my food
>he tells me to **** off
>I call him a double ******
>he gets mad and chases me across the parking lot
>"wait stop it was a joke I found on the internet stop apeing out you ***got!"
>he tackles me and beats me up
>I lay there crying in the burger king parking lot for 5 minutes slowly eating the onion rings in my underwear
>suddenly the police pull into the parking lot
>run
>hide on the other side of burger king and try to kill myself with a toothpick before they catch me
>wake up a few hours later in a hospital with a $4,000 medical bill and $500 fine for indecent exposure or something
>my mom comes to visit me in the hospital
>"mom you said I could find a girlfriend if I dressed nice and got outside…why did you lie to me?"

let me name a few things you will never know, no matter how much you **** up our forum:

you will never know:
what its like to have multiple 10/10s calling you every night to get ****ed.
what its like to score a game winning touchdown
what its like to have the balls/abililty to knock someone out at a bar when they try to punk you (lol @ you having to walk away like a bitch)
what it is like to workout and actually see results
what it is like to NOT immediately jizz yourself the first time a girl touches you because you have no experience with women
what it is like to enjoy the company of true friends and brother who will take bullets for you, outside of CoD.
what it is like to have an aura of success, confidence, and talent that commands respect from real people who are successful and worthwhile. and attractive.
what its like to be yourself and still make friends.
to not make excuses why your life sucks, because you make your own life and NEVER play the victim.
what it is like to wake up in the morning and be truly happy with your life

Brb saving these in my evernote

Douchebag at the Gym:


So as I was prepping to do some squats I see this skinny **** with glasses and a big nose using the squat rack to do his 12 inch biceps, so Im getting impatient but I let it go, and let him finish.

About five mins later he takes his bottle and walks off, so I assume he is done, I rerack the bar up on the rack, take his 5lbs from each side off and see if he is coming back, nope already few minutes gone by, and I see him walking over on the other side of the gym to another skinny ******* to talk to him, so I assume his 12 inch bicesp are bulging now and he is done because the jacked fibraz are now ready for some 15 lb dumbells.*

So I put up 2 45 plates on each side to get ready for my squats.

I do 225 x 10 and then put on one more plate on each side for 315.*

Lo and behold this ******* comes back and says, Hey dude I was there, using that. I look at him and say, thats too bad man, Im using it now.*

He says well I want it back, I said well thats too bad, you can have it when Im done. And I put my earphones back on and start getting ready for my set with my back turned to him.

As I was getting ready to get under the bar he taps me on the shoulder and says, I dont think you heard me, I want it back , Im not done.

I pull my earphones out and say you ever touch me again I will rip your fuking arms off, you understand me, he says but I, and I said BUT I DONT GIVE A FUK, you understand, I DONT GIVE A FUK, now let me finish my squats and you can have it back. I put my earphones back on and start doing my sets.

I add another plate on each side and finish that. THen go down to three plates, and then to two plates, while this moron is standing about 3 feet away from the rack just staring at me with his arms crossed just staring at me, and I am holding the urge to just grab him and throw him through the wall.

As I was done and racked the two plates on each side up, I said its all yours man, have fun, next time dont walk off and go talk to your buddies when people are waiting, and this is a squat rack, not a biceps rack.

He says arent you going to take the weight off, I said nope, I took your heavy 5lbs off now you cant take that off, Im sure youre huge biceps can take the weight off. By this time his face is all red as Im walking off.*

He says Im going to talk to the front desk, at which I say I DONT GIVE A FUK, YOU UNDERSTAND I DONT GIVE A FUK OK.

He just stands there looking at the weight and I just walked off and didnt pay attention to him anymore.*

Few minutes later a chick that works there says, I had a coplaint you threatened one of our members and that you cursed him out.*
I said sorry, wont happen again, he just put his hands on my shoulder and I didnt like it.*



Now to think of it, I did over react and I feel bad for cursing at him, but the guy was an obvious tool, Gone for more then five minutes while I half way through my workout, and considering I 3 times his size, he comes back to ask for his rack.

Don't be ****ing lazy when it comes to posting, I'm willing to bet if I weed through most of your posts, you have contributed absolutely jack ****. You know why the misc is funny? Because kids go out of their way to find that funny gif or that perfect jpeg to reply to that thread. What do you do? You silently watchs like ur some kind of ****ing guardian, a ****ing historian within his own mind, who documents the MISC. The real reason the misc isn't funny anymore is because all the people who go above and beyond the call of ****ing duty usually get banned because they doesn't afraid to voice their opinion. The real miscers who create epic troll jobs usually get picked on and bullied and eventually are forced into exile and then all that's left are the *******s who are remniscing about a MISC that didn't contribute jack **** for. Meanwhile we have the lurker *******s who read threads and contribute nothing like OP. Posters like urself absolutely disgust me.

Dubbed in4lols

Where's this from?

bump

that is the funniest **** ive ever read

i have a 48 page doc of GOOD ones.

lol trolling is not a new thing at all.

willemail/10