Ok, first off, I (age 30) love my girlfriend (age 27). She super nice, she's caring (cares for me when I'm sick, makes food for me etc), she's a family girl (my family sucks but hers is quite good).
Buuuuuut... She wants a kid (and maybe several of them). We've been together for about 3 years and she would like a kid in the next 2 years. I could see her being a great mother.

Now I'm not sure where I stand on the kid. I'm quite against the idea of having a child for several reasons:

- I had a pretty sucky childhood. My parents beat me a lot, lots of fights in between my parents, no money etc, had to wear same clothes for a whole year in high school. So that traumatized me.
- I'm quite introverted, and I like spending time in front of the computer playing games and watching movies. I'm into nerdy stuff. Formatting my computer and reinstalling windows 10, tweaking it and reinstalling all the programs is great entertainment for me for instance. It's not that I don't enjoy social contact, but mostly only with my girlfriend and over the internet with other people, and maybe going to a social event once or twice a month.
- I know raising a kid is quite hard. Years of sleepless nights, no more alone time, financial drain etc. The possibility of having a handicapped child.

Then again, all the Hallmark moments of having a kid do appeal to me. Spending Christmas together, celebrating birthdays, travelling etc... But I know those come at a cost, namely the above. Also, I'm not sure if I want to go the childfree route my entire life. Maybe I'd regret it.

There are also some key differences between me and my girlfriend:

- She's a quiet girl who's only concern is to enjoy life. She's not into money, career or other superficial stuff. She just wants family time, time with me and time doing fun stuff. I, on the other hand, enjoy a quiet life in which not every weekend involves an activity. She likes to do stuff most of the time.
- I have somewhat of an early retirement and money fetish. I try to save money on everything, but not overdo as to irritate her. We had some big fights about money. She doesn't throw it out the windows, but she doesn't like to skip stuff in favor of saving the money either.
- I can be a lazy bastard most of the time, and I procrastinate doing house chores until the last minute. Of course when she comes home and she sees I haven't done much she's massively disappointed.
- She's not that much into nerdy stuff. She likes watching movies and shows with me, but that's about it. I would like for her to play games with me but I realize that's a very rare trait in a girl.
- I'm quite selfish, she is very selfless.

So wut do misc? It's mostly the kid issue which is breaking my balls.

Funny thing is that these days the life OP is leading is what the 'sheep' do, while having a wife and family is counter-cultural.

She sounds like an amazing girl with her priorities figured out and her head on straight. She is aware of her biological clock.

Get with the program or get out of her way.

I'm quite introverted, and I like spending time in front of the computer playing games and watching movies. I'm into nerdy stuff. Formatting my computer and reinstalling windows 10, tweaking it and reinstalling all the programs is great entertainment for me for instance.

He could be way outta her league and showing her a good time.

He could be way outta her league and showing her a good time. Maybe given her the best three years of her life.

We don't fight constantly over money. She lets me save money by being frugal but not overboard. The kid is the breaking point here. Why don't u guys convince me a kid is worth having?
My lazyness i can fix as well.

Slack-jawed ******* over here.

3) Yes, at 27, wanting kids in 2 years, she's starting to run low on time. She'll probably still be able to succeed, but the odds of a miscarriage and other complications increase significantly after 30. You don't want a kid with a disability but you might actually be causing her to end up raising one. Your extreme selfishness is evident in your conclusion that she can always just do IVF or adoption once you screw up her life, as if that isn't a burden, both emotionally and financially. This is something that's important to her and you're fuarking her over with your beta indecisiveness.

4) Don't kid yourself. If you have another mission in life besides fatherhood or even just want to smash a lot of puzz, people can respect that. You do not. You aren't on your grind, getting your house in order, building something meaningful. "Oh, I prefer nerdy things." "I am an introvert!" Don't sugarcoat being a lazy recluse playing make-believe with video games and movies instead of doing anything real with your life. I like video games and movies too, but I'm balancing that with a career, college, home improvements, travel, and chasing tail while still saving aggressively for an early retirement.

You are not special, different, edgy, or smarter than everyone else. You are an underachiver. Dump her because she does not have time to waste on you and it's unethical for you to keep stringing her along. "Aw, but I can't end it, I do love her." No, you don't.Sheloves you, and is likely at least somewhat co-dependent, because she puts up with you instead of telling you to fist yourself. You only loveyourselfor you'd be taking responsibility for your end of the relationship. You are a disappointment to her and will only let her down further. Cut her loose so you are free to spend the next two years fixing yourself while she can meet a man who she can actually be with.

Jesus Christ. You are 30. I would neg you in real life.

Did OP come back after the last 20 or so etherings?

Slack-jawed
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