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Forum » You are to fight a prime Mike Tyson in 1 hour's time
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Thread: You are to fight a prime Mike Tyson in 1 hour's time

post 1566152891 11-13-2018, 04:42 PM
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#121
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Originally Posted By Matt413413⏩
Let's see, seeing that he was at a twink weight of 218 pounds then I don't give a **** how hard you all think he punches. What you fail to realize is boxing is like college club sports. The sports where nobody shows up. So wow Tyson won the so called world championships out of the 12 people that showed up for college club darts or bowling.

Boxing is a neanderthal sport. A sport where they are getting brain damage on a consistent basis. No wonder nobody wants to do it. Real athletes are smarter than that. Boxing is for non-athletes that just get into it because they suck at everything else.

Boxing doesn't represent the worlds greatest athletes.

Same thing goes for MMA. Another sport where non athletes all around the world get to pretend that they are big shots. Yay! YAY!!!! You won the MMA championship. You're so strong and so tough. NOBODY GIVES A FUK!

I without a doubt would have easily beaten a 20 year old Tyson, and I don't give a **** how fast or how strong you think he is.
If boxing is a neanderthal sport, then you should just barely qualify to participate in it. The fact of the matter here is that a prime Mike Tyson would have wrecked you so hard that your entire family tree would be cut down, son. Just the way it is.

Now I know you're a delusional fatty who can't even bench 405, but even in your imaginary state of fitness you couldn't beat Mike Tyson. I'll tell you something else which is 100% undeniable truth and fact, Mike Tyson would also do better in the NFL that you ever would, despite your insane fantasies.

Face it, you're just not good enough, fast enough, nor are you strong enough. Now let that sink into your ogre brain, pal. The truth is harsh, but you need to hear (read) it if you're ever going to improve and do anything worthy of being alive in your life.
post 1566153161 11-13-2018, 04:46 PM
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With modern technology and training I’m sure I could beat him
Losers let it happen, winners make it happen.

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post 1566153301 11-13-2018, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted By Matt413413⏩
Let's see, seeing that he was at a twink weight of 218 pounds then I don't give a **** how hard you all think he punches. What you fail to realize is boxing is like college club sports. The sports where nobody shows up. So wow Tyson won the so called world championships out of the 12 people that showed up for college club darts or bowling.

Boxing is a neanderthal sport. A sport where they are getting brain damage on a consistent basis. No wonder nobody wants to do it. Real athletes are smarter than that. Boxing is for non-athletes that just get into it because they suck at everything else.

Boxing doesn't represent the worlds greatest athletes.

Same thing goes for MMA. Another sport where non athletes all around the world get to pretend that they are big shots. Yay! YAY!!!! You won the MMA championship. You're so strong and so tough. NOBODY GIVES A FUK!

I without a doubt would have easily beaten a 20 year old Tyson, and I don't give a **** how fast or how strong you think he is.
In the 70s/80s boxing was arguably the most popular sport in the United States... it may be niche now but definitely not back then.

Matty London may beat him on the two finger one arm only hamstring curl test, but he would cream you anywhere else...coming from a fan too! Keep doing what you're doing.
Lurking since '04.
post 1566153461 11-13-2018, 04:50 PM
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I'd go take my medicine and hope to last more than 10s
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post 1566153701 11-13-2018, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted By rainieravesouth⏩
i would be tommy morrison at the 2:59 mark of the 1st round

Did that guy die???!
post 1566154021 11-13-2018, 04:57 PM
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I'd pull down my pants and try and kiss him.
worse things happen at sea
post 1566154161 11-13-2018, 05:00 PM
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dis is ludacwis
post 1566154311 11-13-2018, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted By WinnerByChoke⏩
In the 70s/80s boxing was arguably the most popular sport in the United States... it may be niche now but definitely not back then.

Matty London may beat him on the two finger one arm only hamstring curl test, but he would cream you anywhere else...coming from a fan too! Keep doing what you're doing.
Just ran a simulation through one of my advanced A.I. singularity computers and this is what would happen if Fatmatt fought Mike Tyson. Notice his triple chin gets so compacted by the raw, unmatched strength of Tyson that a simple triple chin turns into an entire Chin Dynasty.

post 1566154491 11-13-2018, 05:05 PM
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Originally Posted By Nonsense916⏩
With moderntechnology and training I’m sure I could beat him
Originally Posted By Matt413413⏩
I without a doubt would have easily beaten a 20 year old Tyson, and I don't give a **** how fast or how strong you think he is.
plz bro my sides

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post 1566154731 11-13-2018, 05:08 PM
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I would take some codeine and a couple of shots of vodka in the hour before the fight to help with the upcoming trauma. I would cover my head with my gloves and as soon as the bell rang, start toppling gently backwards. Hopefully I could survive the incoming blows long enough to make it to the canvas and curl up in the foetal position.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1566154821 11-13-2018, 05:09 PM
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Originally Posted By Matt413413⏩
Let's see, seeing that he was at a twink weight of 218 pounds then I don't give a **** how hard you all think he punches. What you fail to realize is boxing is like college club sports. The sports where nobody shows up. So wow Tyson won the so called world championships out of the 12 people that showed up for college club darts or bowling.

Boxing is a neanderthal sport. A sport where they are getting brain damage on a consistent basis. No wonder nobody wants to do it. Real athletes are smarter than that. Boxing is for non-athletes that just get into it because they suck at everything else.

Boxing doesn't represent the worlds greatest athletes.

Same thing goes for MMA. Another sport where non athletes all around the world get to pretend that they are big shots. Yay! YAY!!!! You won the MMA championship. You're so strong and so tough. NOBODY GIVES A FUK!

I without a doubt would have easily beaten a 20 year old Tyson, and I don't give a **** how fast or how strong you think he is.
I'd put my money on you

Let's break down the important aspects of the match:

Taller - Matt
Stronger - Matt
Bigger - Matt
Faster - Matt
Hotter - obviously Matt

The skill level doesn't even matter at this point. 30 minutes training is adequate for Matt to demolish Michael T
See Shakebrah's sig
post 1566154861 11-13-2018, 05:10 PM
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If I actually TRIED to fight him, I would die instantly. If I’m allowed to run around the ring I could probably last the entire fight.
post 1566155461 11-13-2018, 05:17 PM
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I'd rek that kunt.
Drunk at 3am on a Thursday crew.

Say something nice in my CP get something nice back ;)
post 1566156951 11-13-2018, 05:38 PM
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I never understood the concept of these sorts of threads, yes it’s a given a trained fighter would destroy anybody on the misc but some of these replies (assuming they are serious) are cringe af. I mean yeah you’re more than likely going to lose but at least have some pride and go out fighting. If offered the fight I’d take it in a heart best because even though I’d probably lose it’s still a chance to trade rocks with one of the greatest heavyweights of all time, that alone is an honor. Furthermore suppose you actually managed to land one on the button and win the fight? You miss 100% of the punches you don’t throw, strong defeatist attitudes ITT.
post 1566157121 11-13-2018, 05:40 PM
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#135
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Originally Posted By SmillironS⏩
I never understood the concept of these sorts of threads, yes it’s a given a trained fighter would destroy anybody on the misc but some of these replies (assuming they are serious) are cringe af. I mean yeah you’re more than likely going to lose but at least have some pride and go out fighting. If offered the fight I’d take it in a heart best because even though I’d probably lose it’s still a chance to trade rocks with one of the greatest heavyweights of all time, that alone is an honor.Furthermore suppose you actually managed to land one on the button and win the fight?You miss 100% of the punches you don’t throw, strong defeatist attitudes ITT.
Are you subtly trolling?

If not, have you ever done boxing?

When was the last time you saw a literal one punch knockout in a pro boxing match?

(Threads like this are about entertainment based in light self depreciation, IMO.)
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
post 1566157531 11-13-2018, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
yeah, i think he could have had a chance. i believe tyson himself said fedor was the best fighter ever srs
Fedor striking was really build around his Grappling game. These Sambo casting punches he loved are really not suitable for boxing at all. If he cannot use as an entrance for a clinch or takedown they lose, what made them useful in the first place.
post 1566157621 11-13-2018, 05:47 PM
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#137
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About 3.5 rounds before I park him up in the 2nd row.
2006 OG

In on drep fade?

Lord of manor of wansley
post 1566157701 11-13-2018, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
Are you subtly trolling?

If not, have you ever done boxing?

When was the last time you saw a literal one punch knockout in a pro boxing match?

(Threads like this are about entertainment based in light self depreciation, IMO.)
Most pro boxing matches wouldn’t have guys going for broke flinging haymakers. Yes I’m very aware the odds of it happening are similar to getting struck by lightning several times in the same week but “punchers chance” is a real thing. Personally I’d love the honor to step into the ring with one of the greatest warriors the boxing world has known.
post 1566158091 11-13-2018, 05:54 PM
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Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
Are you subtly trolling?

If not, have you ever done boxing?

When was the last time you saw a literal one punch knockout in a pro boxing match?

(Threads like this are about entertainment based in light self depreciation, IMO.)
Imagine Mike slips and sprains an ankle while coming at you. There are certainly possible scenarioes where you win.
post 1566158741 11-13-2018, 06:03 PM
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#140
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Originally Posted By I3igAl⏩
Imagine Mike slips and sprains an ankle while coming at you. There are certainly possible scenarioes where you win.
LOL, yeah that definitely is a possibility.

I'm not saying it's not possible you can't win, but the idea of a puncher's chance... The chances are so slim, that I don't even know why it's mentioned.

An amateur's untrained punch is like getting slapped in the face by a teenage girl, to a pro boxer. However, first you would even need to land it, and the odds of you even landing it through prime Mike Tyson's defence are next to nothing.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_kbC36JESs

I remember sparring friends who were either out of practice, or were noobs (I took the piss with the noob, which I think was out of order). They couldn't touch me, and I'm genuinely crap at boxing/Muay Thai. I've also been in situations where I was completely outclassed, by people who had only fought on an amateur level (I remember a well timed stiff job from a former amateur Muay Thai fighter, leading to a flash-knockout. I realized just how much better he was than me, after getting too cocky.). A world class pro boxer would be on another level.
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
post 1566158861 11-13-2018, 06:04 PM
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#141
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Originally Posted By SmillironS⏩
Most pro boxing matches wouldn’t have guys going for broke flinging haymakers.
Yeah, because it doesn't work.
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
post 1566159001 11-13-2018, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted By BrosefMengele⏩
Did that guy die???!
from aids yea.
post 1566160801 11-13-2018, 06:28 PM
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Originally Posted By InfiniteGaijin⏩
You can concede in boxing right? That seems like the obvious choice, after landing one sneeky blow to the nuts of course
Last guy that tried that only has one ear.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1566160831 11-13-2018, 06:28 PM
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I take a dive in the first 3 (seconds, not rounds)
post 1566161431 11-13-2018, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted By JUGGERNAUT1333⏩
lol @ anyone who is trying to say they'd last longer than 20 seconds.
Came to post this exact sentence. There are professional heavyweight boxers KO'd by Tyson in less time, let alone a miscer "with boxing experience"... sure good luck buddy.
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post 1566161581 11-13-2018, 06:39 PM
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The best bet would for it to be a one hit ko that puts you into a coma so that you feel no pain and then when you wake up 8 weeks later you are ready to start rehab to learn how to walk again.
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post 1566162611 11-13-2018, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted By SmillironS⏩
I never understood the concept of these sorts of threads, yes it’s a given a trained fighter would destroy anybody on the misc but some of these replies (assuming they are serious) are cringe af. I mean yeah you’re more than likely going to lose but at least have some pride and go out fighting. If offered the fight I’d take it in a heart best because even though I’d probably lose it’s still a chance to trade rocks with one of the greatest heavyweights of all time, that alone is an honor. Furthermore suppose you actually managed to land one on the button and win the fight?You miss 100% of the punches you don’t throw,strong defeatist attitudes ITT.
You could get a bumper sticker with that quote to put on your wheelchair after Tyson cripples you.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1566162681 11-13-2018, 06:50 PM
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#148
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I’d spend the hour looking for tips on the many misc threads about how to survive.

Only have an hour though so would struggle to read 1% of the Tyson threads on here.
Fake Teds Crew.

In on GMiscer thread crew.
post 1566162991 11-13-2018, 06:52 PM
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#149
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Originally Posted By SmillironS⏩
I never understood the concept of these sorts of threads, yes it’s a given a trained fighter would destroy anybody on the misc but some of these replies (assuming they are serious) are cringe af. I mean yeah you’re more than likely going to lose but at least have some pride and go out fighting. If offered the fight I’d take it in a heart best because even though I’d probably lose it’s still a chance to trade rocks with one of the greatest heavyweights of all time, that alone is an honor. Furthermore suppose you actually managed to land one on the button and win the fight? You miss 100% of the punches you don’t throw, strong defeatist attitudes ITT.
you're the type of guy that goes into the fight and dies

tyson vs SmillronS:

post 1566163501 11-13-2018, 06:57 PM
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#150
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Originally Posted By Tamorlane⏩
you're the type of guy that goes into the fight and dies

tyson vs SmillronS:

You have a problem with going out swinging? I’m many a thing but a coward I’m not, and I take pride in that.
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