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Forum » What an Effing summer, divorced
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Thread: What an Effing summer, divorced

post 1585919061 08-14-2019, 10:00 AM
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#121
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I was your son's age when my parents divorced. It was a similar situation to yours except it was my dad that was running around on my mom and apparently had been for years. Don't try to poison your son against his mother. If he's a smart kid like you say he'll figure it out himself. If he feels like your lying or trying to turn him to "your side" it could cause long lasting issues with the relationship between you two.

Conclusions that are reached internally are always someones strongest held beliefs and also the things that you don't forget
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post 1585919791 08-14-2019, 10:11 AM
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#122
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Originally Posted By canonhope⏩
She also said that she felt like something else was out there waiting for her, she needed to find herself, and that she needed space.
Anytime you hear this from any female you need to do a quick 180 and go NC. This translate to: "I wanna let my inner sloot out and be a dirty hoor and not feel guilty about it at all."
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post 1585920591 08-14-2019, 10:26 AM
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#123
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Originally Posted By niospecv⏩
Anytime you hear this from any female you need to do a quick 180 and go NC. This translate to: "I wanna let my inner sloot out and be a dirty hoor and not feel guilty about it at all."
How's your stepdaughter, brah? You smash yet or nah?
Nah, fukk that. I’m not doing that.
post 1585922751 08-14-2019, 10:55 AM
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#124
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Originally Posted By ANumber1⏩
How's your stepdaughter, brah? You smash yet or nah?
She's fantastic. Thanks for asking
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post 1585923731 08-14-2019, 11:07 AM
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#125
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Originally Posted By niospecv⏩
She's fantastic. Thanks for asking
Originally Posted By canonhope⏩
I believe you're right about losing her chit. My son mentioned to her that I went to a party a month ago, and she accused me of moving on and that I better not let my girlfriend hurt our son, etc. I had nobody at the time, and only had a short fling (sex twice) after the divorce.

Boundaries are going to be my biggest problem in the short-term although I am much better at not getting pulled in when she goes into crazy rants. I wish I didn't have dinner with her on Monday.
Your ex sounds crazy. When did you first notice something was off with her?

I knew about 18 months into my relationship something was off, but it's about the same time she got pregnant and I thought it was because of the pregnancy. Then Things got much better for a few years, probably the best years of our marriage, then it just went down hill again, it seemed like overnight.

My ex-wife doesn't give me **** at all post-divorce, and I still help her out at times because I feel guilty for giving up on her, but she definitely has BDP/Depression issues, which I tried to help her with our entire marriage, but she would never seek professional help or take medication.
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post 1585924091 08-14-2019, 11:12 AM
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#126
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sh*t like this makes me terrified of marriage

I've had a few LTR's where I've done as much initial and ongoing due diligence as humanly possible in terms of assessing her personality traits, behavior, past, friends, etc...and even then they eventually turn out to be fuking trash

scary world out these days boyos
post 1585924341 08-14-2019, 11:15 AM
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Men stupid enough to marry women with careers deserve to get cheated on.
post 1585924351 08-14-2019, 11:15 AM
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Being you seemed to have emotionally moved on from your ex, I actually understand your perspective in allowing her to speak/vent to you about topics most people in your scenario wouldn't as a way to keep the peace and for her to not villainize you in her mind. Minimizing conflict is good for the sake of your son and while it definitely sounds annoying, it seems to cause minimal stress on you at the moment.

In for continuing to hear about her completely irrational comments though for the lulz.
post 1585929771 08-14-2019, 12:36 PM
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#129
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
Your ex sounds crazy. When did you first notice something was off with her?

I knew about 18 months into my relationship something was off, but it's about the same time she got pregnant and I thought it was because of the pregnancy. Then Things got much better for a few years, probably the best years of our marriage, then it just went down hill again, it seemed like overnight.

My ex-wife doesn't give me **** at all post-divorce, and I still help her out at times because I feel guilty for giving up on her, but she definitely has BDP/Depression issues, which I tried to help her with our entire marriage, but she would never seek professional help or take medication.
I noticed something was really off 12 -15 months ago, but slight depression a little more before that. i may have made odd posts here about extreme mood swings. She always had PMS and I could tell when her period was on its way. However, the swings became extreme. At first I took it personal until I started reading about pre-menopause and hormones, etc. so I brought it up a few times to her to maybe get checked.

That backfired big time. So I stopped talking about it, and just tried to block it out. The bad thing about that was I started zoning out, avoiding, roll my eyes more around her, etc. Didn't help the situation at all, but didn't know what else to do. I do now (funny how hindsight and divorce can help you do some self development).

I truly do not recognize the woman, which is weird af. Only in a few moments does the woman I know show up. My mom saw it when she stayed with me a couple of weeks, and didn't believe me at first. Until she interacted with her on two separate days.
My wife used to call my mom after work EVERYDAY on her commute home for years. Silence all summer. My mom is feeling pretty down from all this too.
Originally Posted By tonybalogney⏩
sh*t like this makes me terrified of marriage

I've had a few LTR's where I've done as much initial and ongoing due diligence as humanly possible in terms of assessing her personality traits, behavior, past, friends, etc...and even then they eventually turn out to be fuking trash

scary world out these days boyos
It is scary. Even with due diligence, you will never know how people (mostly women, look it up) will be when they approach 40s and 50s. These should be the decades that you are cruising along, not starting over after all the hard work in your 30s and tail end of your 20s.
Chaos and apocalypse on us all
Let them burn to dust.

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post 1585929951 08-14-2019, 12:39 PM
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#130
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Do you suspect a substance abuse issue at all? Eating disorder? It is unfathomable to me that a mother would gladly hand over custody. Only time I've heard of a mother doing this is when women are in the throes of addiction. Source: I watch a lot of Intervention
post 1585930551 08-14-2019, 12:47 PM
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#131
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Her next step is tinder. I put the over/under at 20 dinks before she settles for a longer term beta provider. That's the modern world.
post 1585932151 08-14-2019, 01:13 PM
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#132
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Fuk, I gotta say, OP you've remained relatively levelheaded through all of this.

-You kept your cool after you discovered the other guy
-You kept your cool when she was grooming you for plan B
-You continue to keep your cool and put up with her antics and immaturity.
-You haven't rubbed anything in her face

I couldn't do that in my current maturity state.

I want to get married and start a family someday. I like to think I'd make a good husband and father. But your experience has made me very afraid of marriage, and I lean toward the traditional side.
post 1585932461 08-14-2019, 01:19 PM
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#133
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Sounds terrible bro. I’ll say a prayer for you and your son.
twitter: @bullexinferis
post 1585932791 08-14-2019, 01:24 PM
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#134
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I want to get married and start a family someday. I like to think I'd make a good husband and father. But your experience has made me very afraid of marriage, and I lean toward the traditional side.
Don’t be afraid of marriage. It’s not fashionable these days but married people live longer, are happier, and healthier. They have better sex lives. Can you imagine growing old, alone? I’m a physician who deals mostly with old folk and you’ll never see a more miserable person then a lonely old guy.
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post 1585933381 08-14-2019, 01:33 PM
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#135
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
I want to get married and start a family someday. I like to think I'd make a good husband and father. But your experience has made me very afraid of marriage, and I lean toward the traditional side.
Sloots are biologically designed to get banged by many different men. I don't care how she was raised, how Chadly you are, whatever. Monogamy was designed to be strictly enforced and those enforcement mechanisms are gone.

Best case scenario she fights the urge her entire life and only quietly thinks about all the other dinks she wishes she had. Best case.
post 1585934261 08-14-2019, 01:48 PM
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#136
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best of luck OP
post 1585941391 08-14-2019, 03:33 PM
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#137
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
Sloots are biologically designed to get banged by many different men. I don't care how she was raised, how Chadly you are, whatever. Monogamy was designed to be strictly enforced and those enforcement mechanisms are gone.

Best case scenario she fights the urge her entire life and only quietly thinks about all the other dinks she wishes she had. Best case.
Then maybe it's better I just wife up a sloot who's "already had her fun".
post 1585942671 08-14-2019, 03:59 PM
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#138
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went through something similar, minus the kid. Everything will work out fine and sadness will be gone sooner than later. You reacted very well to the situation I'd say. GJDM!
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post 1585943091 08-14-2019, 04:07 PM
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#139
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
Sloots are biologically designed to get banged by many different men. I don't care how she was raised, how Chadly you are, whatever. Monogamy was designed to be strictly enforced and those enforcement mechanisms are gone.

Best case scenario she fights the urge her entire life and only quietly thinks about all the other dinks she wishes she had. Best case.
Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved?
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post 1585944581 08-14-2019, 04:36 PM
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#140
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You did good op, stay strong and positive
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post 1585958991 08-14-2019, 09:07 PM
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#141
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Originally Posted By Bcl2⏩
Do you suspect a substance abuse issue at all? Eating disorder? It is unfathomable to me that a mother would gladly hand over custody. Only time I've heard of a mother doing this is when women are in the throes of addiction. Source: I watch a lot of Intervention
No, but I signed her up for personal training sessions in Feb through May because she looked dumpy and I could tell it was impacting her on top of so many other things (gray hair, dissatisfied with career, some weird eye infection/problem, etc.) Should've known getting her into shape would go to her head a little.

So, no substance abuse or eating disorder. She needs medicine though srs. She did meet her divorced friend for lunches more often in the past 12 months. Also, dinners with female coworkers who were early and mid 20s. Both not good signs looking back.

"I just don't know what I want, I'm in turmoil. But I'm curious. I know I'll regret this and probably be sad and alone but I can't help it."

I was trying to wash my son's clothes the first week she moved out, but the bish had taken the laundry detergent and all the dryer sheets with her.
Originally Posted By neuron⏩
Don’t be afraid of marriage. It’s not fashionable these days but married people live longer, are happier, and healthier. They have better sex lives. Can you imagine growing old, alone? I’m a physician who deals mostly with old folk and you’ll never see a more miserable person then a lonely old guy.
Well, my father remarried and stayed married but he is still a miserable lonely old guy.

If you have children, nurture the bond EARLY like I did. Don't just hang out with them, bond. I made and ate breakfast with him every morning since he was a toddler. All elementary school, I drove him and walked him to the front door. Even now in middle school I walk him to the bus stop the first week and sporadically throughout the year.
Chaos and apocalypse on us all
Let them burn to dust.

*Mirin your daughters and their daughters teddies crew*
*Scummy crew
post 1585961261 08-14-2019, 09:55 PM
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#142
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
Then maybe it's better I just wife up a sloot who's "already had her fun".
If you're cool with being a beta provider, sure. This is what most stem brahs end up doing srs. Check out the dual mating strategy.
Originally Posted By Briisk⏩
Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved?
No ragrets. I did it in the lowest risk way possible, though. No marriage and no kids. My life would have been 350x worse had I done either or both of those.
post 1585962551 08-14-2019, 10:32 PM
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#143
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Well, I'm never getting married. Don't convince me. The stakes are too high, people change and a bored wife seems easy to sway.

Great ending OP, I see a bright future. BTW, you think you'd get married again?
post 1585963861 08-14-2019, 11:13 PM
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You sound like you're taking it well.

Good for you and **** that bitch.
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post 1585965601 08-15-2019, 12:15 AM
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#145
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think you have done well. The PI is full on but critical I guess because having clarity that somewhere was a someone changes everything. She wants what she can't have, grass must be greener on the other side than it is not. Lost. We don't live long enough to fix everything. The move on is the correct call.
INSTA SEANCURREYFITNESS
post 1586052881 08-16-2019, 11:05 AM
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#146
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Sorry to hear that. Good luck rebuilding

Hey look on the bright side, now you can shark on your best friends kids with impunity



Wait. Wat?

You only just got married didn’t you?
She moved out before out 3rd anniversary.
(っ◕‿◕)っ
post 1586053581 08-16-2019, 11:14 AM
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#147
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I’m a bit late to the thread but.... Come on OP that’s your side of the story

You originally said you had work stress etc so sounds like you weren’t taking care of business. People usually have reasons to behave the way they do.
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post 1586054121 08-16-2019, 11:21 AM
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It makes me rage to no end when they say stuff like "I should get the house/kids, you should be paying me child support or alimony". Just goes to show that when chit hits the fans they'll try to do stuff like that because the courts let them. I have a friend that is married and his wife said something on the lines of "well if you dont screw me over or whatever then you dont have to worry about paying me". I would have walked out the door if I heard that.
post 1586054271 08-16-2019, 11:23 AM
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#149
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Originally Posted By Beararms⏩
It makes me rage to no end when they say stuff like "I should get the house/kids, you should be paying me child support or alimony". Just goes to show that when chit hits the fans they'll try to do stuff like that because the courts let them. I have a friend that is married and his wife said something on the lines of "well if you dont screw me over or whatever then you dont have to worry about paying me". I would have walked out the door if I heard that.
Right up until the very end my ex was saying **** like "I don't want anything from you, I won't be a b*tch about it".

Then she moves out and it's "Marital Property rights" this and "Equal division of assets" that.


NEVER believe them.
(っ◕‿◕)っ
post 1586054621 08-16-2019, 11:28 AM
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#150
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
I want to get married and start a family someday. I like to think I'd make a good husband and father. But your experience has made me very afraid of marriage, and I lean toward the traditional side.
Well, I've been married for 21 years and have never had any issues at all. We have two perfectly well adjusted kids 15 & 13 (and are taking care of her niece's 8 year old). It can work out if it's the right people. I will say this, though, it has to feel absolutely right in every way. If you have any doubts at all, don't do it.
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