They're rare but they're out there. Good riddance to your baggage OP, and stay strong.

STRONG disagree. And there's more to it than money (I didn't lose any since I have always been no marriage crew). I worked for 9 years, the bulk of my adult life, with the same girl to build a life together. I like to think I'm more savvy about spotting red flags than most.

She volunteers with dogs and old people, had her life together, valued personal relationships, regularly wrote me doting texts and emails, laughed at all the dudes who tried to hit her up constantly - but one day Chad Surgeon at her work made his move and that was it. Relationship over. That's all it took. The wrong high value guy getting horny at exactly the wrong time.

Marriage is all about fighting our core biology and the rules are way different now than since the invention of monogamy. The only way to win is not to play.

In most cases, Relationships are for people who are waiting for someone better to come along. Everyone wants to upgrade.

Fukkin hell bro thought this was gonna be positive story lol. Were you married or not??? I guess you had her in her prime years so you can take solace in that.

Thanks for reminding to never get married OP.

Don't take her back. That day will come. Do not take her back. If it means she shows up to your house one day smashing **** up then so be it. Just call the cops. You get to raise your seed and she has to pay for it lmao. She'll get tired of sucking that old dink one day, and by then her looks will have faded. Guess who she'll be looking to then? Don't take the bait.

Not married, even though her friends and family chastised me. Got her before social media and enjoyed most of her 20's, so I got the better end of the deal. Strangely, we split and told all our friends what happened - it didn't slow guys down one bit. Her new boyfriend (not the surgeon lol) knows the whole story about her past and he jumped right in. Not the slightest hesitation. That's what we're up against now.

Yeah, taking her back isn't really something i want to do. I shouldn't even joke about it. Will definitely turn to the Misc if that idea ever comes up or she approaches me.don't know yet brah. Might try and pick up someone at the grocery store.it is very sad. I've slept on his bedroom floor many nights this summer because he said he wanted me in the room when he slept. First day of school was yesterday, and he said "I guess mom won't be here to make me sandwiches anymore." Which is funny to say on the misc but sad in real life.My mom came to stay with me for about 2.5 weeks and that helped alot. I was a zombie at work for the full month of June, and don't know how I managed. My mom was able to stay with my son during moments I couldn't even deal with my own emotions, and I could go to my room or outside to let stuff out without showing my son a broken man. lol worked so well he told my ex that "dad's moving on really great."

Two weeks after she moved out, she told me she thought our son was doing wonderful, no big deal, and isn't having any issues with the divorce. I bert stared.
sounds bright for sure. btw, hey bb, speaking of shark let's put away the past and see where we end up. I'm a changed manI try not to roll my eyes when she shares a little info. Yesterday she wanted her golf clubs (haven't been used in years) because she is going to take my son to the range this weekend. Oh sure, has nothing to do with the other man living on a golf course. yeah ok. Anyway, she tries to tell me he's "very nice" and opposite of me because i'm a "bad boy."I know the feeling because it's like a sleeper cell situation. She started cracking 2-3 years ago if I look back objectively. Based on what I've researched there seems to be a high number of women approaching 40yrs and beyond initiating divorces. Stay safe brahs

I cant really offer you any advice OP other than dont get back with your ex. You seem like a good dude and it sounds like you are doing a great job with your son through this. Stay the path!

Repped.

Sorry to hear OP, but I am sure you'll be alright. Hang in there man.Yet you're more adept than most at noticing red flags? It happens to the best of us bro but I don't think you're as skilled at sniffing out sloot as you believe you are.

That was after we split and she was trying to reconcile. And yes bro, I'm against one sided legal property contracts that are 50 years outdated and no longer hold any upside for men. If that means I'm hiding from a challenge, I'll be cowering under the bed. Fukk that noise.

Monogamy only works under a very strict set of circumstances and that's not the world we live in anymore. If you want to gamble anyway, ok. I mean, some people do win in Vegas. Playing slots is still a bad investment, imo.

son just turned 12, but has been sheltered. But I'm very happy it happened while he's in middle school vs elementary school.

Exactly right about the mid 50s bachelor. lol jokes on her.It wasn't easy all the time. My own mom was mad I was leaving flowers and cards. I told her I have to do it, and I know what it looks like, but I have to do this. Funny, yesterday at dinner she kept accusing me of being psycho and did I hire a hitman. lol, bish I'm psycho, not stupid.haha, you're funny. She can play me as Plan B all she wants to. Doesn't mean I'm plan B in fact. Listening to her during the divorce process was fine with me, and was part of the strategy. Keeping my own son is not getting cucked. I won.
She can bang the boss, doesn't bother me. she fuked up. her glow is gone. I'm getting better.

And nope, not ready for any play right now. I'm adjusting my household, and planning just like I've always done. Females would only be a distraction right now, and I don't need it.
haha, oh no, I'm about equality brah. Like the first time she slapped me back when we were dating, and I punched her head (never became physical with each other after that).Yep. She took it as a negative, a threat. I knew her mindset, that she wanted to be free to "find herself." And you can't find yourself with a child that needs your attention and time.I will try my best to hold strong brah,So, she spent the July 4 week with the other man (this was before I revealed to her that I knew who she was seeing). She texts me asking if would be okay to pick our son up on Saturday instead of Friday for her weekend visitation. I reply "don't let your boyfriend affect your relationship with your son, and the answer is no because he needs consistency." Pissed her off! She told me "don't jump to conclusions, I was just asking." Again, this is before I revealed my evidence.I have no doubt she will regret it, and I'm not going to care. We fell in love at first sight, and were together 1 year before marrying. It was actually a very romantic story. If I'm honest, I don't feel like my life was wasted. I had mostly a great life. Our real struggle was last 2 years, and you're right. Boredom, routine, working towards financial goals, raising a child, etc. Guess it became too much for her. She's stupid. I'm reading a book now about the happiness curve and she fuked up.You nailed it. Very good analysis.

Good luck rebuilding your life OP. It's better now then another 20 years down the line.

i'm actually due for an upgrade. wife is currently 40; maybe i can trade her in for two 20 year olds

You're kind of right about the half thing, but not in the way that you think. In my case because she wasn't a stay at home mom, a good portion of her share of the assets came from her income and effort. We were building "our" finances together, so not really the half that you are thinking about. Not to say it doesn't hurt because it is much easier to build with combined assets. But I'm still going to be good. I was the brains of our duo, I'm not worried about my financial future.

The kid is worth way more than that stuff anyway. I have a really good son, and have worked on my bond with him since he was a baby.lol possibly. But she mentioned he is a really nice guy and told her, "I don't want to be the reason you're divorcing, not even 1%." i.e. don't get divorced because of me. She thought it was a sweet thing to say. I interpreted it as a player line.

But if he does grip on tight, then he is more dumb than she is lol. Dude is not FA btw. He had a live-in gf that ended 1 year ago based on my PI info.

OP, I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your son. It sounds like you handled the situation as maturely as possible, kudos to you for keeping a level head during this whole thing.

People do change, especially over a decade. They change A LOT. Yes I risk my life every time I get in the car, but I stopped riding motorcycles because I don't want to get maimed or deaded by some sloot texting Chad while switching lanes at 75mph.

Risk has to weigh against reward. What's the reward for marriage? It's a legal property contract. Nothing to gain for me unless I'm marrying up, but that's very uncommon and has its own set of problems.

How is it a fantastic tool for you? What does a property contract provide you with that is unavailable outside of marriage?

There is a small tax benefit (offset by the cost of jewelry and a wedding, though). The rest I'm not sure. We were on the same health insurance since 2011 (domestic partners) and had living wills to avoid potential probate court.

Didn't read anything other than OP. Sounds like you got off great OP.

I don't know if the implication is that I'm deficient somehow or marriage is some privilege for top tier people, but clearly it isn't for me.

You dropped an absolute failure of a woman, and now you get to trade in for a younger model. Seems like a win/win for you.

OP would you still nut in her the first time if you knew the outcome?

US "no marriage" crew do be sure to get long term care insurance when you can and keep paying those premiums. Nursing homes run roughly $200 a day and if you do not have a "surviving spouse" you have to spend down to only $2,000 in assets (so no house, no car, no annuities) before Medicaid picks up the tab.

Why would you care?

Well, if you end up in LTC and dependent on Medicaid that isn't much to cover all the little "extras" that make life bearable like decent toiletries and clothing. My mom had three different relatives in LTC like that and their belongings were regularly "lost"...don't know if misplaced, thrown away, stolen, or given to other residents. Probably why you see the gift requests at Christmas time for elderly people needing things like slippers and blankets.

How a woman can casually hand over her child’s custody without any remorse blows my mind. That right there tells you everything you need to know about that person, even fuking animals sacrifice life and limb for their offsprings yet these hoes go “I need to hop on the cock carousel YOLO”.

Because it hurts their chances with the new man. Strong as that biological bond is, a woman in her 30's knows she's up against it and is 350x more attractive without kids in tow. I went on a few dates with a sloot, only to find out she had 2 kids that she had given up completely ("because my job is so hard" uh huh). Nope nope nope. Couldn't even bang after that. It's more common than you think since it's such a taboo.

im sorry, how old is your son?

because even if you are divorced you two will still be in and out of each others lives until he is 18
and even after that there will be situations that you need to be around her. What ever you do, set up your boundaries immediately. ESPECIALLY when you start dating again. She may seem cool with openly talking to you about this new guy she's seeing, but she will lose her chit when she see you move on.
She will realize that you are moving on with another woman who's helping raise her child in a house she picked out.

never take her back
let her lay in the bed she made

Appreciate the support. I'm not hiding the fact that I am a broken man at the moment even with the good fortune of how my divorce turned out. So, I'm not taking offense to the guys who say I'm being beta or need to get my self-respect. I definitely need to start creating better boundaries, which I'm making progress on.

I feel very lucky because once the divorce was final, she started to snap out of her fog a little bit. Now according to her, her apartment isn't so nice anymore when it was "peaceful and wonderful" the first month she was there, "no chaos," as she put it (from me, our son, the dogs).

She took the cat to keep her company. Last month, she complained that the cat was urinating on the carpet. In my head I knew it was because she would leave the cat alone for 4-6 days as she drove out-of-state to stay at the other man's house. But when I say "that is unlike our cat, something must have changed in the cat's routine." My ex answers "I have no idea what is wrong because everything is normal." yeah ok.
Now post divorce, like this morning she texts me to say "you are lucky I didn't give you trouble with attorney stuff...I believe women get the house too when they plead the case about child upbringing...I believe the courts usually side with the female and children..."

I just reply she would've been angry with custody and the house too. In reality she would have been, and my son would've suffered through her crisis.

Last week when she brought my son back, she was fuming about him clogging her toilet. Then she continued a loud tirade on my front porch about how I "screwed her over...you got the house and the kid, you got everything..." and that I should've paid her to stay in the house and paid her alimony and child support, etc. This would stress me out pre-divorce. I calmly tell her that if she can't handle a clogged toilet, she should stop complaining about the custody.

Again, she is slowly and in bits coming out of her fog, and reality is setting in. Also, her office disallowed remote work as of 3 weeks ago, so now she doesn't get to see her other man except every other weekend. This means more time alone in her apartment.

lol and he has not once driven to ATL to visit her, while she was driving through rush hour traffic after work to go to him for weeks.
I still would brah.Oh I knew a part of her didn't want to give up custody, but the dik aroma was much stronger. I used that. She was definitely on and still in the YOLO crisis mode.he just turned 12, but he is sheltered (not anymore though).

I believe you're right about losing her chit. My son mentioned to her that I went to a party a month ago, and she accused me of moving on and that I better not let my girlfriend hurt our son, etc. I had nobody at the time, and only had a short fling (sex twice) after the divorce.

Boundaries are going to be my biggest problem in the short-term although I am much better at not getting pulled in when she goes into crazy rants. I wish I didn't have dinner with her on Monday.Especially a confirmed bachelor in his mid50s who is already living the good life.

She sounds like a piece of chit. I'd be fighting my ass off for custody for my kids. As you've said that reality is hitting her now with that lonely empty apartment and sounds like you made out good financially and getting rid of her. Das it mane

It's really hard not to picture the bolded and LOL.

Beep, beep, bish.

Next time she goes off on your front porch, send her a written instruction to meet at the property line from now on due to her "disruptive behavior".