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» Just Asked My 18 Year Old Son To Leave The House
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post 1537061971 12-10-2017, 12:09 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
the issue is, 18 year olds are still full of hormones, emotional, aggressive, angsty.....

gotta give them some leeway.... especially since the OP failed as a parent.
An adult living in his parents' house shouldn't have the leeway to swear at his mother and then ignore being told to not swear at his mother.

It's difficult to really judge the situation fully because we're getting a tiny piece of the puzzle but it's correct that the ultimate result of refusing to live by the home owner's rules is that you get to leave home.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1537062001 12-10-2017, 12:10 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
sounds like OP went to work everyday and let the Public School system and the TV in his house raise his kid.




OP had 18 years to teach his son the value of hard work, morals, ethics.... the higher ideals of integrity, honor, virtue.....


sounds like OP went to work everyday and let the Public School system and the TV in his house raise his kid.

Then he's shocked when his kid is doing drugs to "be cool", and doesn't understand the importance of having life skills.
Did you not read the thread??
OP straight lined out plans to help his child stay on top of homework, check assignments, and gave him chores. Yet his son still decided he didn't feel like handling responsibilities and suddenly took a turn from 2.7 GPA (chitty), to worse. That is when OP got concerned.

Some people are just stubborn and need to be shown by experience.
Originally Posted By thehypocrit
What about the 18 years before now?

There was no life lessons then?

So for 18 years he gave him zero advice and help but now he is some hero giving LIFE LESSONS? LOL

If your kid is a retard at 18 years old then the only person to blame is YOURSELF
see above.

People are individuals. Some people need a dose of reality before they shape up.
Originally Posted By Benihanas
Yes, because the kid is a pile of play-dough absent choice or free will and cannot think, create, or make decisions for himself...
This. You *******s have to realize that kids are individuals, not just a product of their family's belief systems.
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post 1537062051 12-10-2017, 12:11 AM
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#153
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Thing is, some people will naturally chafe under their parents' rules, it's going to happen. Ultimately the best thing is people who find this unbearable move out and live under their own rules. That's how you get to find out how the real world works. Maybe they found out that their parents were intolerable douchebags and maybe they found out that they weren't. Either way, they will learn some valuable lessons.

A lot of child-parent problems involving late teens are solved when the kid moves out. They realise their parents did a lot for them and also their parents are not going to hassle them about things which are now their own business e.g. have a messy room. Maybe they have a messy room but then they realise roaches are gross and it's easier to get laid when you're not a slob. Life lessons.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1537062081 12-10-2017, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted By Mr
An adult living in his parents' house shouldn't have the leeway to swear at his mother and then ignore being told to not swear at his mother.

It's difficult to really judge the situation fully because we're getting a tiny piece of the puzzle but it's correct that the ultimate result of refusing to live by the home owner's rules is that you get to leave home.
--> bring child into world

---> fail to properly raise child

-----> get upset when child misbehaves

--------> now that child is damaged and does not know how to function in society, kick child out to fend for itself.


Brilliant. Should have done the humane thing and just sterilized yourself at 18 and got a dog.


As for me.... you can figure this out by having a lot of patience and being smarter and loving.
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post 1537062121 12-10-2017, 12:13 AM
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Your kid is an azzhole. Ask yourself-- did you make him an azzhole? Was there something you could have done differently to help him be less of an azzhole?

If the answer to both questions is no, then you're good g. If the answer to one or both is yes, then you'd better find that azzhole and give him the help he needs.
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post 1537062341 12-10-2017, 12:17 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
--> bring child into world

---> fail to properly raise child

-----> get upset when child misbehaves

--------> now that child is damaged and does not know how to function in society, kick child out to fend for itself.


Brilliant.


As for me.... you can figure this out by having a lot of patience and being smarter and loving.
It's great that you know exactly how OP raised his child. Since I lack your arrogance, I remain agnostic on this matter.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1537062521 12-10-2017, 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted By Mr
It's great that you know exactly how OP raised his child. Since I lack your arrogance, I remain agnostic on this matter.
Children are a product of their upbringing and environment. AKA Parenting.
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post 1537062591 12-10-2017, 12:23 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
--> bring child into world

---> fail to properly raise child

-----> get upset when child misbehaves

--------> now that child is damaged and does not know how to function in society, kick child out to fend for itself.


Brilliant. Should have done the humane thing and just sterilized yourself at 18 and got a dog.


As for me.... you can figure this out by having a lot of patience and being smarter and loving.
Except for he didn't fail to raise his child (not that we know), that is just an assumption.

I personally rebelled against my parents on some things, got my ass handed to me, and now I see where they are coming form. Time and time again they asked me not to do certain things, tried to prevent me, but I did what I wanted anyway. Now I see where I made mistakes, am a better man for it, and can appreciate what my parents were trying to do.

What I am saying is, kids can be chitheads and theres nothing you can do about it.
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post 1537062651 12-10-2017, 12:24 AM
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Originally Posted By SoSteezy
Except for he didn't fail to raise his child (not that we know), that is just an assumption.

I personally rebelled against my parents on some things, got my ass handed to me, and now I see where they are coming form. Time and time again they asked me not to do certain things, tried to prevent me, but I did what I wanted anyway. Now I see where I made mistakes, am a better man for it, and can appreciate what my parents were trying to do.

What I am saying is, kids can be chitheads and theres nothing you can do about it.
Did you throw away your future and become a drug addict?
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post 1537062711 12-10-2017, 12:26 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
Children are a product of their upbringing and environment. AKA Parenting.
Well since "environment" already covers a much broader field than "parents", the weakness in your assertion is easily detected. However, as well as environment, genetics play a large role in how people turn out. Children are not atabula rasa, moulded at will to exact specifications by parenting.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1537062751 12-10-2017, 12:27 AM
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Originally Posted By Mr
Well since "environment" already covers a much broader field than "parents", the weakness in your assertion is easily detected. However, as well as environment, genetics play a large role in how people turn out. Children are not atabula rasa, moulded at will to exact specifications by parenting.
Tell that to Jewish kids or Asian kids.

Good parenting = success.

Bad parenting = troubled youth.

Very easy formula.
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post 1537063081 12-10-2017, 12:34 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
Tell that to Jewish kids or Asian kids.

Good parenting = success.

Bad parenting = troubled youth.

Very easy formula.
Just because something is simple, doesn't make it right.

Let's take an extreme example to illustrate a point, let's say a child is a sociopath. Now, it doesn't matter what kind of parents they have, this person will grow up without empathy, because that is the nature of sociopathy. No amount of parenting will fix that.

However, unusually capable parents can probably raise a person that tends to live within society's rules. This adult sociopath will always be a 'bad' person, because they really don't care about anyone else's suffering. They are incapable of doing so. Moreover, they will get their kicks out of manipulating people, by being the smartest person in the room. They will have a cruel streak and inflict a certain amount of misery on other people. But overall they may be a productive member of society, successful and also bring happiness to others.

Conversely, very poor parents who knock the sociopathic child around may well end up raising a serial killer.

So yeah, parenting makes a big difference to how people turn out.

But also a good chunk of what someone is like, is innate to them.

And that includes how much they will rebel against parental authority. Anyone managing anyone else, including a parent, provides choices and consequences. Ultimately an adult can decide that they will take choices which bring the consequence that they will be leaving home.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1537063091 12-10-2017, 12:35 AM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy
Been a rocky year with a senior in high school. Skips class, been suspended, late for school, lousy grades. Completely being self destructive. Smoking , God knows what else. Verbally abusive.

Watched him walk off into the snow. After his mother told him there was no swearing in this house, he told her she was phuking pissin' him off and he hated living here.

Why? Because we told him his girlfriend couldn't come over until after he did some college applications and laundry were done. Kid isn't ready for the future, can't see 30 minutes in front of himself. Tried to have a conversation with him, he started yelling. I asked him to leave and if he didn't I was going to have the police do it.

I regretted it, and wanted to take it back, but he stormed out. Shut his phone service off. Want to be an entitled 18 year old? Ok, be an adult.

Feel terrible, blood pressure skyrocketing, but he's caused all the toxicity in the house. Not willing to fix his chit. Parental guilt. Any sage advice appreciated. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
Apples don't fall far from the tree you fukking piece of **** excuse for a father. If your son is a stupid *******, where do you think he learned that from bro?
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post 1537063401 12-10-2017, 12:43 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
Did you throw away your future and become a drug addict?
Actually no.

I used to do drugs, couldn't handle it, and now I don't

Now I am a young professional, with a very bright future. I am 3 for 3 on the CPA exam, work at a great accounting firm, and am set to have a career in which I am almost certain to earn over $100K per year in about 5 yrs time. stfu with your smug comments.
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post 1537063591 12-10-2017, 12:49 AM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy
He didn't have his phone. Left it at his girlfriend's house. Asked him to stay, told him he was welcome to stay, and we'll talk through it over a beer, chose to leave.

He's always been an entitled kid. Thinks the world owes him something

In regard to dinners, we tell him, dinner's at 7, if you aren't going to be here, you're on your own. We make him do his own laundry, fold his own clothes. We made him invest 1/2 his paycheck when he was working for college. He's just a know it all pain in the neck
I hope this is roll bread, if not, you're pretty much a poster boy as to why just being able to procreate doesn't mean one should.

Reading your whiny, b1tchazz posts makes it very clear why your kid turned out the way he did.

You're a piece of chit, OP.
post 1537063981 12-10-2017, 01:01 AM
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I was a chit kid growing up, I chose to throw myself to the wolves and learning the hard way was a necessary burden in my life to make it where I did.
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post 1537064121 12-10-2017, 01:05 AM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb
They seem to think the military will fix him and instill the values and discipline he failed to learn growing up

Crazy
The overwhelming majority of people on this forum are non-degree wielding, community college MORONS.
post 1537064511 12-10-2017, 01:21 AM
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Happened to me senior year of high school dealing some of the same college app type ****. Got my phone shut off as well... stay at a friends house for a couple days then just went home. Completely forgot about that whole situation til I read the op
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post 1537064631 12-10-2017, 01:26 AM
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90% of parents are self-entitled pieces of chit.

Once you realize this, then you can start planning your own life away from them.
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post 1537064691 12-10-2017, 01:28 AM
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Originally Posted By CalmWind
the issue is, 18 year olds are still full of hormones, emotional, aggressive, angsty.....

gotta give them some leeway.... especially since the OP failed as a parent.
Brain doesn't still developing till mid-late 20's. What then?
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post 1537064841 12-10-2017, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted By RealAesthetic
I was a chit kid growing up, I chose to throw myself to the wolves and learning the hard way was a necessary burden in my life to make it where I did.
"It's been more than thirty years since the wolf and the winter cold. And now, as then, it is not fear that grips him, only restlessness. A heightened sense of things. The seaborn breeze, coolly, kissing the sweat at his chest and neck. Gulls cawing, complaining, even as they feast on the thousands of floating dead. The steady breathing of the 300 at his back, ready to die for him without a moment's pause. Everyone of them ready, to die."-300
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post 1537065221 12-10-2017, 01:55 AM
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Originally Posted By MiscInformed
March him down to the US Marine Corps recruiting center and tell him he has a choice to make... live under your roof by your rules or start fending for himself. A stint in the Marines will knock that chip off his shoulder and help him pay for school when he gets out.
Best advice ever given on Misc... aside from piitb to establish dominance... I guess in OPs case either way.


To OP:
Been there done that. My son really needed a good beating like I got when I was a kid, but these days you put a few bruises on an insolent son and all of a sudden your the bad guy going to jail.

The only thing I can tell you is that sometimes you just have to let life teach your children lessons you were not able too.

ie. at some point you just have to let Darwin do his job.
post 1537065551 12-10-2017, 02:07 AM
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Originally Posted By miscallday12
Nice avi *******. Did chad pound you hard?
Nah me and mike ohearn had a good lifting session. instead of grasping at straws for a good cum back why dont you grasp that dink out of your mouth and scrape off your teeth****ing kids today smgdh
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post 1537065671 12-10-2017, 02:11 AM
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post 1537066021 12-10-2017, 02:27 AM
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Originally Posted By SrsnotSrs1
He'll be back once he gets cold lol
Sounds like you're speaking from experience?
Originally Posted By ScuffedLifter
Entitlement doesn´t fall out of the sky. It grows over the years. U should have been harsher in ur parenting.
This.

But what's done is done, and cannot be undone. Now your solutions?
Originally Posted By nothingshocking
My parents kicked me out when I was 17, I got a room in a house with some kids from the college in town I knew through partying, they said if I could pay the rent the room was mine. I partied like a rock star for like a year and a half before completely burning out. I made up with my parents when I was 19, got into a top 20 college, and eventually went to a top 5 mba school.

I'm sure things will work out the same for your son.

Or maybe he will end up sucking cawk under some bridge for $20.

it can go either way, good luck.
Well you started off well enough and then the misc mentality kicked in.
Originally Posted By EmmaW4tson
ITT a lot of **** advice.
You forgot the part where you replace it with good advice.
Originally Posted By iloveus
Brain doesn't still developing till mid-late 20's. What then?
Actually it can continue to develop thoughout life.
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post 1537066441 12-10-2017, 02:42 AM
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i find it disturbing that to so many people have been kicked out of home

no wonder the west is failing

****ty parenting of peace
post 1537066711 12-10-2017, 02:55 AM
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Damn that sucks, i want to say never kick someone out like that, but you didnt mean it.
Maybe try to reach out to him somehow, don't give up on him.
Being young is tough, a lot of emotions, testosterone, anger.
I was like that with my dad a bit, but i had respect.
He would confront me though, use force if he had too, sometimes you have to show him you are still the king lion, you know what i mean?
post 1537066871 12-10-2017, 03:00 AM
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Originally Posted By thehypocrit
i find it disturbing that to so many people have been kicked out of home

no wonder the west is failing

****ty parenting of peace
The most ironic thing is there are multiple way to assist with this both before, and after parenthood. Its a shame few people ever take the opportunity to use these resource.
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post 1537066971 12-10-2017, 03:04 AM
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You're trying to control him too much I'd say. Being a parent does not mean to tell him every single thing you want him to do. You needed to be direct with him about college, you should've asked him if that was where he wanted to go.
My parents never gave a fuk about my grades, they straight up told me that it's your future not mine. As a result I always excelled at things I liked, got A's in math, phys and chem in college. All this studying would've sucked if they constantly told me to do stuff.
I do believe that you should've let him manage his own stuff when he was way younger and by this I don not mean that he should've done his own "laundry".
You should've taught him how ****ed up the world is and how it is his responsability to manage his life and by manage I do not mean pay rent...
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  5. Rep Power: 8675
well,did he come back yet?
Always finds something wrong with everything crew*

sit there and don't know what to do when people sing happy birthday to me crew*

Thread killer crew*
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