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A woman's ultimate weapon: "I don't feel comfortable around you anymore"
09-03-2016, 12:52 AM
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#31
- TooAnabolic
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Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
First off you shouldn't have called her out in front of everybody even if she was wrong. Nothing good can come of it. Secondly, you should have given her an "out" so she could save face."So you have no examples, this is a total fabrication right? Why are you so quiet now? Are you that afraid to admit you're wrong?
Then asked me to go into a private office where she told me that I'm not a good person, I'm mean, and she doesn't feel comfortable around me anymore."
Then asked me to go into a private office where she told me that I'm not a good person, I'm mean, and she doesn't feel comfortable around me anymore."
Or you could keep doing what you actually did, but now she's going to subvert you at every step along the way and ruin your reputation within the company.
Originally Posted By IHateUPLSDie⏩
This would be nice because coworkers are generally a bunch of *******s and I've had my only female co-worker try to throw me under the bus HARD when they brought her in for a disciplinary meeting for not doing her job. She tried to blame me for everything and it literally had nothing to do with me. Luckily my manager isn't an idiot and knew better. But the owner of the company didn't, and then he thought I was a total ****-up and might still. Guess who approves raises? The owner.Lmao @ socializing with co workers. Clock in, do your job, keep to yourself, clock out. If it isn't work related then leave me the **** alone.
Anyway my point is, you need to play the game if you want to get ahead. There's a dude at my office that's been there for less time, but because he's buddy-buddy with the owner and the general manager, he gets away with whatever he wants. He comes in 30 minutes late every day, leaves whenever he wants to get coffee/lunch, leaves hours early on a regular basis, etc. And they don't give a ****, because he plays the game really well.
09-03-2016, 12:56 AM
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#32
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Originally Posted By Nicro327⏩
Regarding that situation, here's what happened:There should be a female psychology class for men to take in college so we can understand what goes through their mind in situations like these.
The sad thing is that this interaction make 0 sense at all but is totally believable.
The sad thing is that this interaction make 0 sense at all but is totally believable.
brb woman has gone her whole life being weak and powerless
brb woman was ok with the situation with guys just talking to her
brb suddenly some random males show up and offer her power/backup that she wasn't expecting
brb she realizes this is a wonderful opportunity to turn into Joseph Stalin
brb she abuses her new fleeting power over 4 males where were chatting with her
I'm reminded of this quote, by Abraham Lincoln:
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Change men to women in 2016 and you can see how chitty people who were powerless can turn into tyrants as soon as they get power.
09-03-2016, 12:58 AM
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#33
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She was damn well aware of that statement's negative and damaging implications. She wanted to disparage your reputation without doing so overtly, so she instead resorted to making ostensibly innocuous statements that had galvanizing undertones .
09-03-2016, 12:59 AM
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#34
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"good, get outa my face now"
Nothing pleases me more at work than people I dislike being out of my way. I yelled at this shoot co-worker once and told her "not to speak to me outside of patient hand overs, if she has an issue she feels needs to be brought up she can tell it to the manager and the manager will pass it to me"
Nothing pleases me more at work than people I dislike being out of my way. I yelled at this shoot co-worker once and told her "not to speak to me outside of patient hand overs, if she has an issue she feels needs to be brought up she can tell it to the manager and the manager will pass it to me"
09-03-2016, 01:01 AM
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#35
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Women ruin the workplace
09-03-2016, 01:05 AM
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#36
- BieberFeverBrah
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Originally Posted By TooAnabolic⏩
The bolded part is interesting, because she actually growled something about "yelling at me in front of everyone..." Just before telling me to meet her in a private office.First off you shouldn't have called her out in front of everybody even if she was wrong. Nothing good can come of it. Secondly, you should have given her an "out" so she could save face.
Or you could keep doing what you actually did, but now she's going to subvert you at every step along the way and ruin your reputation within the company.
This would be nice because coworkers are generally a bunch of *******s and I've had my only female co-worker try to throw me under the bus HARD when they brought her in for a disciplinary meeting for not doing her job. She tried to blame me for everything and it literally had nothing to do with me. Luckily my manager isn't an idiot and knew better. But the owner of the company didn't, and then he thought I was a total ****-up and might still. Guess who approves raises? The owner.
Anyway my point is, you need to play the game if you want to get ahead. There's a dude at my office that's been there for less time, but because he's buddy-buddy with the owner and the general manager, he gets away with whatever he wants. He comes in 30 minutes late every day, leaves whenever he wants to get coffee/lunch, leaves hours early on a regular basis, etc. And they don't give a ****, because he plays the game really well.
Or you could keep doing what you actually did, but now she's going to subvert you at every step along the way and ruin your reputation within the company.
This would be nice because coworkers are generally a bunch of *******s and I've had my only female co-worker try to throw me under the bus HARD when they brought her in for a disciplinary meeting for not doing her job. She tried to blame me for everything and it literally had nothing to do with me. Luckily my manager isn't an idiot and knew better. But the owner of the company didn't, and then he thought I was a total ****-up and might still. Guess who approves raises? The owner.
Anyway my point is, you need to play the game if you want to get ahead. There's a dude at my office that's been there for less time, but because he's buddy-buddy with the owner and the general manager, he gets away with whatever he wants. He comes in 30 minutes late every day, leaves whenever he wants to get coffee/lunch, leaves hours early on a regular basis, etc. And they don't give a ****, because he plays the game really well.
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
Btw there were only 5 witnesses, it's a holiday weekend and most people left early. I actually wish there were more people there, it would have made me less bold and I would have just shut things down before it got out of control.
Incidentally, I REALLY like this woman. Up until today, we ribbed each other, teased eachother, made snarky but playful comments. That's all gone now though lol, I can't see it ever going back to that again, I feel betrayed.
To complicate things, I've been with this company for a year, she has been here 9 years. She's way more important than I am (she's a manager--a really good one), has more friends in the company, more credibility, etc.
And the worst part is, she and I had plans to collaborate on projects that were really going to improve things, I was really excited about this (I love my job). That too is also gone, I think. Fuark.
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09-03-2016, 01:09 AM
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#37
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I know this goes against the grain and maybe I have been unlucky but I have had much more drama working with men than women. Men are far more likely to 'test you' , and can be extremely catty and b1tchy to each other. Especially if you look at all like you workout. Had absolutely none of these issues working with women. i tolerate the times they bring their babies in or bring in their stupid cakes ,it is far less difficult than having to deal with passive aggression from a man in his fifties who's only exercise is picking a pint up from the bar at the pub .
I blame the obsession society has these days with men's appearance,it is basically meant men increasingly are expressing the worst and most annoying traits that women do.You have men who should be thinking about more important things at their age, bothered about the fact they haven't got a six pack anymore or whatever.
I blame the obsession society has these days with men's appearance,it is basically meant men increasingly are expressing the worst and most annoying traits that women do.You have men who should be thinking about more important things at their age, bothered about the fact they haven't got a six pack anymore or whatever.
I bang trannies.
09-03-2016, 01:15 AM
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#38
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I know exactly what you mean OP. I used to feel so angry about women getting manipulative and bitchy in the workplace. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.
09-03-2016, 01:23 AM
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#39
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Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
You were yelling because you hurt her feelings. What actually happened is irrelevant to her.The bolded part is interesting, because she actually growled something about "yelling at me in front of everyone..." Just before telling me to meet her in a private office.
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
You can defend yourself, but you have to do it very tactfully and give her an "out."
The goal is to defend yourself while also depersonalizing the criticisms so that you aren't putting her on the spot, especially in front of other people. Gotta go to bed or I would try to think of some examples of what you could have said.
09-03-2016, 01:32 AM
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#40
09-03-2016, 01:47 AM
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#41
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Shoot her.
When it all comes down
There'll be nothing left to catch you but ground
It's calling your name and filling your head
With delusions of glory
09-03-2016, 01:58 AM
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#42
Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
Perhaps make clandestine recordings from now on. Review them in the evening for better perspective. But yes, 'them' in the workplace is no bueno.This person is very smart, I have no doubt she knows the power of those words and used it to rekt me.
She's not a kid either, this woman is 44. She purports to be "tough" but she literally crumbled under the pressure of being pushed to admit she was wrong.
I feel sick thinking about this.
She's not a kid either, this woman is 44. She purports to be "tough" but she literally crumbled under the pressure of being pushed to admit she was wrong.
I feel sick thinking about this.
09-03-2016, 02:19 AM
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#43
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Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
Bro you can see the same thing on the misc when some of these bat**** crazy women get caught in a lie. They'll instantly create an alternate reality and then argue from that while making you the bad guy because you're being aggressive.The bolded part is interesting, because she actually growled something about "yelling at me in front of everyone..." Just before telling me to meet her in a private office.
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
Btw there were only 5 witnesses, it's a holiday weekend and most people left early. I actually wish there were more people there, it would have made me less bold and I would have just shut things down before it got out of control.
Incidentally, I REALLY like this woman. Up until today, we ribbed each other, teased eachother, made snarky but playful comments. That's all gone now though lol, I can't see it ever going back to that again, I feel betrayed.
To complicate things, I've been with this company for a year, she has been here 9 years. She's way more important than I am (she's a manager--a really good one), has more friends in the company, more credibility, etc.
And the worst part is, she and I had plans to collaborate on projects that were really going to improve things, I was really excited about this (I love my job). That too is also gone, I think. Fuark.
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
Btw there were only 5 witnesses, it's a holiday weekend and most people left early. I actually wish there were more people there, it would have made me less bold and I would have just shut things down before it got out of control.
Incidentally, I REALLY like this woman. Up until today, we ribbed each other, teased eachother, made snarky but playful comments. That's all gone now though lol, I can't see it ever going back to that again, I feel betrayed.
To complicate things, I've been with this company for a year, she has been here 9 years. She's way more important than I am (she's a manager--a really good one), has more friends in the company, more credibility, etc.
And the worst part is, she and I had plans to collaborate on projects that were really going to improve things, I was really excited about this (I love my job). That too is also gone, I think. Fuark.
I've never once had to work in an environment that was more than maybe 5% women (other than college) so I have no idea how I'm going to survive in the workplace if I go back to normal life. I'm screwed.
09-03-2016, 04:37 AM
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#44
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Originally Posted By TooAnabolic⏩
disYou were yelling because you hurt her feelings. What actually happened is irrelevant to her.
When it all comes down
There'll be nothing left to catch you but ground
It's calling your name and filling your head
With delusions of glory
09-03-2016, 04:49 AM
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#45
09-03-2016, 04:51 AM
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#46
Originally Posted By Nicro327⏩
This too. I tried the , just do your own thing, route and got same result.I thought this strategy was the best until I got fired for being "distant and unfriendly"
You can never win.
I guess it's some sort of crime to not want to associate with idiots who try to stir up drama at every corner. My manager literally wanted me to become friends with everyone (he said this), like what is this bull****? Go **** yourself dude, I don't want to be friends with any of you. Still salty to this day about that.
You can never win.
I guess it's some sort of crime to not want to associate with idiots who try to stir up drama at every corner. My manager literally wanted me to become friends with everyone (he said this), like what is this bull****? Go **** yourself dude, I don't want to be friends with any of you. Still salty to this day about that.
People think you're even more of an *******.
09-03-2016, 05:30 AM
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#47
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Originally Posted By keels141⏩
bahahaWhat would the syllabus look like though? There would be absolutely no structure to it, everything is answered by "because I felt that way".
09-03-2016, 06:01 AM
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#48
09-03-2016, 06:02 AM
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#49
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Only ever worked with one female, and on an all-male team otherwise with male manager. She was extremely quiet and competent. So lucky.
Otherwise, it looks pretty dismal out there for some of you. Everything is performance based in what I do, and nobody really cares that much about following the social rules of the workplace.
If the job isn't prioritizing performance over bullchit, it's a bullchit job. I don't care how much it pays.
Otherwise, it looks pretty dismal out there for some of you. Everything is performance based in what I do, and nobody really cares that much about following the social rules of the workplace.
If the job isn't prioritizing performance over bullchit, it's a bullchit job. I don't care how much it pays.
09-03-2016, 06:06 AM
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#50
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Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
Fuuuaark. That last part changes everything. I originaly thought you went about it perfect and decided I wouldn't give a fk what she said. You defended yourself against her bs infront of everyone.The bolded part is interesting, because she actually growled something about "yelling at me in front of everyone..." Just before telling me to meet her in a private office.
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
Btw there were only 5 witnesses, it's a holiday weekend and most people left early. I actually wish there were more people there, it would have made me less bold and I would have just shut things down before it got out of control.
Incidentally, I REALLY like this woman. Up until today, we ribbed each other, teased eachother, made snarky but playful comments. That's all gone now though lol, I can't see it ever going back to that again, I feel betrayed.
To complicate things, I've been with this company for a year, she has been here 9 years. She's way more important than I am (she's a manager--a really good one), has more friends in the company, more credibility, etc.
And the worst part is, she and I had plans to collaborate on projects that were really going to improve things, I was really excited about this (I love my job). That too is also gone, I think. Fuark.
It kind of hit me like a bullet because she established then and there that I was "yelling" even though I wasn't.
I also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people?
Btw there were only 5 witnesses, it's a holiday weekend and most people left early. I actually wish there were more people there, it would have made me less bold and I would have just shut things down before it got out of control.
Incidentally, I REALLY like this woman. Up until today, we ribbed each other, teased eachother, made snarky but playful comments. That's all gone now though lol, I can't see it ever going back to that again, I feel betrayed.
To complicate things, I've been with this company for a year, she has been here 9 years. She's way more important than I am (she's a manager--a really good one), has more friends in the company, more credibility, etc.
And the worst part is, she and I had plans to collaborate on projects that were really going to improve things, I was really excited about this (I love my job). That too is also gone, I think. Fuark.
Then you threw in all the extra info and I could now see how this screws you.
09-03-2016, 06:06 AM
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#51
Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
LMAO @ this level of being socially ineptI also don't understand this idea of not challenging someone in front of others. Why does it matter? She made an accusation in front of others, but I can't defend my position in front of those same people
Correct someone in private = They'll receive it better, might even thank you
Correct someone in public = Embarrass them, make an enemy forever
09-03-2016, 06:09 AM
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#52
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Yep, female coworkers can be hell to be around at times, which is why you need to be smart about things.
1) Go to work
2) Do all your tasks quietly and efficiently
3) GET ALONG with everyone, despite how chit some of them may be... give them a fake smile at least
4) Minimize too much social interaction around the chit-stirrers and STAY OUT of politics
5) Go home
Anyway, you make a BAD call in calling her out publicly, OP. These kind of things need to be dealt with in a respectful, private manner.
1) Go to work
2) Do all your tasks quietly and efficiently
3) GET ALONG with everyone, despite how chit some of them may be... give them a fake smile at least
4) Minimize too much social interaction around the chit-stirrers and STAY OUT of politics
5) Go home
Anyway, you make a BAD call in calling her out publicly, OP. These kind of things need to be dealt with in a respectful, private manner.
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09-03-2016, 06:09 AM
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#53
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More or less.
But I'm self-employed, so I've never had to deal with this.
Most of our evolutionary history consists of a clear separation of tasks between the sexes. Now, within just a few decades, this has changed. Obviously, there are going to be problems. Unfortunately, all the solutions consist of men bowing and scraping before women and trying their best to no longer be men.
But I'm self-employed, so I've never had to deal with this.
Most of our evolutionary history consists of a clear separation of tasks between the sexes. Now, within just a few decades, this has changed. Obviously, there are going to be problems. Unfortunately, all the solutions consist of men bowing and scraping before women and trying their best to no longer be men.
09-03-2016, 06:12 AM
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#54
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Originally Posted By JB05⏩
Depends on the situation brah. Losing credibility in-front of others needs to be corrected sometimes. Especially when it's attacking the credibility of your entire team to bolster someone elses team. She clearly started that chit, and thats bsLMAO @ this level of being socially inept
Correct someone in private = They'll receive it better, might even thank you
Correct someone in public = Embarrass them, make an enemy forever
Correct someone in private = They'll receive it better, might even thank you
Correct someone in public = Embarrass them, make an enemy forever
09-03-2016, 06:15 AM
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#55
09-03-2016, 06:22 AM
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#56
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Originally Posted By BieberFeverBrah⏩
This is where you goofed. Gave her the power to call the shot which you followed.its quite embarrassing. I work with a team of 3 people, this person casually mentioned that my team "leans too heavily" on her team (asking questions).
I personally make a point to never bother them, and my team is even more vigilant about not bothering them. I was offended by her accusation, and asked her to give me an example. She couldn't do it. I pushed it further:
"Really? No example? Not a single one? Anything? Hello?"
She clammed up. For some reason, there is nothing I hate more than someone who clams up when they know they are wrong. It's not that hard to say "ok maybe I was wrong."
She snapped when I said:
"So you have no examples, this is a total fabrication right? Why are you so quiet now? Are you that afraid to admit you're wrong?
She exploded.
"AFRAID? AFRAID? OF YOU???LOL!"
Then asked me to go into a private office where she told me that I'm not a good person, I'm mean, and she doesn't feel comfortable around me anymore."
I got rekt.
I personally make a point to never bother them, and my team is even more vigilant about not bothering them. I was offended by her accusation, and asked her to give me an example. She couldn't do it. I pushed it further:
"Really? No example? Not a single one? Anything? Hello?"
She clammed up. For some reason, there is nothing I hate more than someone who clams up when they know they are wrong. It's not that hard to say "ok maybe I was wrong."
She snapped when I said:
"So you have no examples, this is a total fabrication right? Why are you so quiet now? Are you that afraid to admit you're wrong?
She exploded.
"AFRAID? AFRAID? OF YOU???LOL!"
Then asked me to go into a private office where she told me that I'm not a good person, I'm mean, and she doesn't feel comfortable around me anymore."
I got rekt.
You you are rekt now and forever forward.
good luck pupper
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09-03-2016, 06:30 AM
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#57
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If a woman says that to you in a job you can call that your EX job.
You can expect that the entire company will be on her side regardless of the situation.
You can expect that the entire company will be on her side regardless of the situation.
Originally Posted By Ashfrolicious⏩
Absolute 10/10 post. Happen to agree with every one of these points, and this is EXACTLY what I do in the working environment.Yep, female coworkers can be hell to be around at times, which is why you need to be smart about things.
1) Go to work
2) Do all your tasks quietly and efficiently
3) GET ALONG with everyone, despite how chit some of them may be... give them a fake smile at least
4) Minimize too much social interaction around the chit-stirrers and STAY OUT of politics
5) Go home
Anyway, you make a BAD call in calling her out publicly, OP. These kind of things need to be dealt with in a respectful, private manner.
1) Go to work
2) Do all your tasks quietly and efficiently
3) GET ALONG with everyone, despite how chit some of them may be... give them a fake smile at least
4) Minimize too much social interaction around the chit-stirrers and STAY OUT of politics
5) Go home
Anyway, you make a BAD call in calling her out publicly, OP. These kind of things need to be dealt with in a respectful, private manner.
09-03-2016, 06:32 AM
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#58
- Agentdark45
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- Agentdark45
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You dun fukt up OP.
One word from her to HR and it's a wrap boyo. Assuming you don't get your ass fired/get sexual harassment charges filed against you learn from this and keep your mouth shut in the future no matter how right you might be. Winning these small victories just isn't worth sacrificing your career.
One word from her to HR and it's a wrap boyo. Assuming you don't get your ass fired/get sexual harassment charges filed against you learn from this and keep your mouth shut in the future no matter how right you might be. Winning these small victories just isn't worth sacrificing your career.
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09-03-2016, 06:34 AM
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#59
- RC2008
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Originally Posted By Agentdark45⏩
THis LOL..You dun fukt up OP.
One word from her to HR and it's a wrap boyo. Assuming you don't get your ass fired/get sexual harassment charges filed against you learn from this and keep your mouth shut in the future no matter how right you might be. Winning these small victories just isn't worth sacrificing your career.
One word from her to HR and it's a wrap boyo. Assuming you don't get your ass fired/get sexual harassment charges filed against you learn from this and keep your mouth shut in the future no matter how right you might be. Winning these small victories just isn't worth sacrificing your career.
I literally avoid women like the plague at work. I talk to them, but in a strictly professional, but friendly manner. They have no idea how to deal with that situation in a manner that would require drama and it works just fine for me.
09-03-2016, 06:38 AM
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#60
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Another thing - white women in particular (blonde white skinny women is a major bonus for them) absolutely own the chit out of every race of men on the planet when it comes to privilege. You are fuked if you end up going up against her and her legions of white knights are at the ready.
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