I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety and severe depression as well fella. I know it's easy to always stumbled back and say "well I have this or that" and use it as an excuse, but you gotta stop that.

Are you tired of being alone because you have no friends, or because you're still obsessed with your onitis?

Obviously. I pretty much just auto-avoid attractive women though. I don't even look at them if I can help it. I find them depressing and do my best to think about them as little as possible. Pretty much impossible not to think about women though. Maybe when I'm 60 my sex drive will finally die and I can have a little peace before I croak.

We sound so much alike besides the sports aspect, the only difference is I have 200% confidence in myself in all aspects, all of the time. Am I the best looking guy? No. Am I in the best shape? No. Do I make more than most people? No. Do I care about any of that and allow it to run my life? No way in hell. I see things for what they are man, you seem like a highly intelligent individual, you've just put up this wall that you are too afraid to climb over. Just think man, it's a mental block, nothing is physically holding you back from finding a woman, hell even if 99% of women say no and say they would just like to be friends, you are making progress and it'll allow you to learn. That's what I mean about having the utmost confidence, others see rejection as a negative thing, I'm always positive and try to draw the best out of every situation no matter how dire. Sounds cliche but the only person that's going to change things for you is you.

It sounds like you have a chemical imbalance that cannot be helped without meds. People like to downplay the chemicular make up of our brains but that really is what defines who you are.

I'd suggest an MAOI like parnate

You can't simply think a certain way and have it change you it's not that simple. That notion is by far the most ignorant I have come across

wut

Did you ever think maybe just grow some balls and get over it.

I have zero self confidence where women are concerned. People on the Misc act like accomplishing goals will help you with your overall confidence and thus allow you to attract/approach women. This is false. I'll give you an example.

Let's say you practice your ass off at Chess, and become amazing at it. Clearly each time you play Chess, you'll be confident in your ability to win. Now, does being amazing at Chess have anything to do with walking up to and striking up a conversation with a woman? Of course not. Ergo, confidence does not translate from one area of life to another. Accomplishing goals that do not directly correlate to approaching and talking to women will have no benefit in helping me do so.

I'm a confident swimmer. I'm a confident and competent rifleman. I'll blow the tits off a field mouse at 100 yards all day. I can fix pretty much any computer problem you can imagine, I know PC hardware inside and out, and I can bench more than probably 95% of the male population without even trying. But I can't walk up to a girl and start a conversation.
I've been shot at. Being shot at is easier than talking to girls. I'd actually prefer it.This is not advice.

yea same op., ill never be good enough for anyone so im gonna let social darwinism take its course and forfeit here within the next few months

If your not going to act yes it is. I'll tell dudes all the time stop being a phucking pussy. Women are not that intimidating. I don't get it. It's not even about confidence. All dudes get nervous when talking to chicks. You just need to let your balls descend. The only advice I have ever taken was tough advice, when someone told me I'm being a bitch and need to do something about my current dilemna. Men have become such ****s these days that they are not will to accept constructive criticism. It's absolutely pissening. Telling you to not be a pussy is absolutely advice brah.

You're looking at it wrong. Because you have skill in one area and not in another is besides the point. Having accomplishments incite confidence. Knowing that you have value, gives you confidence. You use whatever confidence to gain skill in a new area.

You just answered your own question, all of those things you listed required practice. How do you think talking to women is any different? Like I tell my kids, you are never going to get better at anything by not doing it, there is just no way around that. You have everything you need to succeed except the right mindset, you can claim to not be attractive or in good shape or whatever blocks you've put up for yourself, but there are millions of people worse off than yourself that pull tail on the regular. The difference is they just don't give a fuark and you are afraid to even step foot into the game.

It's like anything else, if you want it bad enough you're gonna have to put in the time. Like you said you have a great job, you're fit, and you have no kids I'm assuming. Chicks in our 30's SHOULD be beating down your door, look at your positives man, stop thinking your negative traits is all people see. It get's you no where.

I always wondered what causes social anxiety.

for me it was being told I was a worthless piece of crap from an early age

rlly?

Jesus Christ all I see are FA threads. You guys are fking pathetic, I've never had a gf but don't whine about it like a little ****

except for you

Dis for you, OP:

damn mang this hits me right in the feels

Bruh. You're gonna be an MD in 2020. You have girls lining up at the door trying to **** you, all you have to do is look out the window.

Personal story to illustrate my point: A bunch of 8s and 9s literally got dressed up in cocktail dresses and jewelry to play Magic the card game with us. We had no alcohol, so they were the ones who brought it.

Just gotta make sure to use a condom.

brah...elaborate? i need details on this

do you really think being a doctor will help me with women?

Post a pic brah. No homo. If you don't wanna post it, pm me. You can overcome this. Just gotta put yourself out there.

I would've assumed that being in the army would've helped your confidence & you can't be that much of a coward to join the army in the first place right?


Edit: just read your other posts & my suggestion would be to stop caring, I know easier said than done etc. But you already know they're gonna say no and not be interested so don't look at them in that way, treat them like you would a man.

Girls like guys who don't show interest in them (especially the hot ones) and they want you more and more. They're irrational and weird creatures but easy to predict, you got this man! Just be very chilled around them & don't look for sex, it will find you in these situations. Much love bald bro.

Yes. Girls are attracted to social status. Add your medical school to your tinder profile and you'll be good.

You won't be getting the whole package (intelligence, personality...), but at least they'll be hot and bothered by that MD status.

Whats funny is.. ive been on top of the world and have had literally every girl ive encountered wrapped my finger.

Where most people would be happy with 1 girl liking them, im not happy unless 9/10 like me.

Thats not to say i go banging tons of women, im actually ridiculously picky. I guess i just like the power. This is not some brag..

But what im telling you is.. ive been on top of the world with women and then ive felt like an infantile.

People think theyre smart and make snap judgments based off of any facade presented to them. So what im saying is.. people who saw me in downtrodden times had NO clue how successful i was. But that didnt take away my success

So, lets say this.. i know of one of the gym receptionists having the hots for me.. and actually one of the trainers.. but because ive been so good in the past. Its almost like i have to keep up with that perception of myself. So find this fear in this egoic/ pride thing. Perhaps thats whats going on with? You have everything but the woman and the woman represents this fear that you dont want to face of yourself - because you know you havent had success?

I remember this being the same type of thing when i was a virgin. I had everything but i was afraid to talk to women. Its almost like you dont want to meet the reality of what you actually are; perhaps because youre doing things you dont deem fit for women? I do know when im constantly doing good things i have 0 problems with women

Idk.. all im saying is. I think theres a good mix of past and present with you.. and that peoples perception doesnt matter because it is wrong 99% of time

People take tidbits of info to conglomerate into their own perception or it to make it make sense to them, but that doesnt mean thats the truth.

Case in point, me being on top of the world, something happening and people using that perception then. And to my aforementioned point, mw only being happy if i feel i could fuk 9/10 on the spot

both

In order to crawl out of this, you have to improve both your mind state and your external life. Working on just one of those things is pointless if the other sucks. For the mind state, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist. For your life, try to imagine where you would like to be in a year. Then set small goals that you can work on every day to get to where you want to be in the future.

Feeling down because you have no friends is understandable, I'm in the same position.

But being down because you don't have your onitis? Get the **** over it. I legit feel sorry for you people that think women are something special. Even if you had a gf, if you're truly depressed you'd still be ****ed. Stop making women more important than they need to be.

im guessing you've had a gf before? its different if you have never had ANY female contact

No it isn't. You're telling me to be a totally different person. "Let your balls descend". <== Not advice. It's just shaming language. As if I don't already feel ashamed of my inability to talk to girls. Shame isn't going to do anything. You want me to become some brave alpha male-type. If I were capable of that, I wouldn't need to be shamed into it; I'd just do it.No it doesn't.I don't have value.

some people sack up, put themselves out there, and keep trying until they succeed

some people make excuses, feel sorry for themselves, and rot

which one are you op?