It just makes me sad to hear about the sort of behavior 19yo is exhibiting. While she is responsible for her actions, I place a large amount of the blame on the older women in her life.

I've personally seen these things way too often to believe it's localized crazy. These girls grow up without an older female counseling them on basic human decency, and basic social interaction. They have a retarded and limited perception of boundaries. And their perceptions and behaviors are normalized by other women and society as a whole.

I would be f*king embarrassed if I were an older woman in the USA right now. Either through silence or vociferous influence they have heavily contributed to the proliferation of these batsh!t crazy girls/women who are out to destroy those who don't provide them what they want in the immediate moment.

It's pathetic.

UPDATE:

-Come home from gym to find Pho on my porch
-Roommate says 19 year old stopped by and begged for my forgiveness. (she lives 45 minutes away)
-Pho is now in the trash
-10+ missed calls from an unknown number

How hard is it to get a restraining order filed? (srs)

I'm assuming if she keeps on bothering you or stalking you especially if there is evidence, it shouldn't be too hard. You just gotta link all those calls to her though. On the side note, I swear this chick has borderline personality disorder.

You better watch out. "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned" No truer words ever said. Been there, done that, that's why I try not to play with Fire anymore.

I'm legitimately worried. She knows where I work. She knows where I live. Fck man.

And she was the one who told me I'm a worthless POS because I'm in the medical field and not pursuing a doctor career. Fcking crazy that she insults thousands upon thousands of people who do what I do and then expects me to talk to her again after?

I haven't seen psycho on this level since a certain poster in here went full meltdown last year.

^just came to post that

Brb says you're not worth her time
Brb calls you every name in the book.
Brb goes 100% stalker mode when you mysteriously don't want to speak to her.

That is some fukkin grade A crazy.

you're perseverating on this point

I get it, you want to be proud of your work and dont want your achievements to be looked down upon. But if you let the comments of a 19 yo girl bother you like this about your career while you're in your 30s, think what a similar comment from the in-laws 5 years down the line will do?

If you're not going to own your profession because there is some insecurity about it tucked away somewhere, bail now and do something else before someone you actually care about breaks your heart and pride.

I've never been in this situation, but is talking to her out of the question?

I know she doesn't deserve it, but mirroring and validation is a very powerful tool. When people feel heard and validated, they are more open to listen to what you have to say.

Just let her say her ****, mirror and validate her feelings, then tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you are no longer interested in maintaining the relationship because the two of you are so different.

She's young enough it may work.

I agree, I think you should just talk to her. Tell her you realized you needed to be with someone a bit older and wish her luck. NC is driving her nuts.

Told you those young girls would go crazy when you dumped/faded and you should leave them alone .. you went ahead (for sex).

Told you you better use condoms .. you said you always do; then posted proudly about raw dogging (you didn't shoot inside though so that's ok (cause that always works as effective contraception)).

You are a young 35 mate.

Fuk, don't shatter my dreams of not having to work when I shred down and become Chad brahYou have to prove that your life is at risk. Its a huge burden on 5-0 with restraining orders so they give them out selectively and when absolutely required.These. Just talk to her and make up some BS to soften the blow. NC drives them insane when they like you.

I don't care about her opinion on what I do. I posted about it so everyone understands why I'm not actually talking to her. There's no insecurity in what I'm doing. I quit a high paying job to work in this field and I'm happy with my decision. It sounds like you're projecting.

You guys make a valid point. But since this has happened 5 times now (not on this level of crazy the previous times), I don't want to hear her spin the wheels of justification on why she said what she said. This isn't the first time I've had to deal with crazy and EVERY time it happens, I have to sit there and listen while they somehow spin it back to be my fault. If I do this, I'll have to be completely calm, zero stress going on and just sit there agree with her while she does her mental gymnastics.

It's happened a few times like this in my life, including in here. **** gets old, NC is generally my go-to.I didn't dump or fade this girl. She got upset with me for no reason and then exploded on me with some hateful words. That has nothing to do with me. I was actually working when she flipped out. And I never lied to her up front about anything so that's also not on me.

She was on her period when I raw dogged.

And finally, as I've mentioned a dozen times to you, the age thing doesn't matter. This has happened with women older than me, women my age and women younger than me. Crazy doesn't stop when someone turns 24 years of age or some arbitrary number. This is ESPECIALLY true for rich girls who are spoiled and never have to work for anything. If anything, it gets worse (yes, have experience with that) because they start feeling like their life plans aren't in perfect timing anymore because rich, bored women tend to make up life goals that are age based. It's a luxury they have because they aren't working and have a lot of free time. This 19 year old is no different. She has plans all the way through 35 years of age. Hence her insults to me.

None of this is age related and yet you continue to harp on that.

Lmao that 19yo reminds me of my first gf (who was 19yo too back then). Strong psycho. She was so hot and lovely but would keep trying to downgrade me and insult me etc.

Also, one time I broke up with her and she came to my house at 1am knocking at my bedroom window (was living in my parent basement at that time and she was living 30-40 mins from there). My mom was like wtf she needs to see some psychologist.

I was literally stuck with her because I couldnt break up, she would pull crazy stuff like that all everytime. I managed to get out of the relationship by making her break up with me LOL.

From your posts, she got upset cause she started catching feels; realised you didn't have them & she was just your f*ckbuddy or whatever.
Then she started finishing with you cause the situation's hurting her and she knows it's the sensible/self-preserving thing to do, but not able to stick to it cause of her feels. May as well be a fade or dump. It's what would have happened sooner or later anyway.
You didn't lie but did you lie by omission ie not making it crystal clear it was only a hook up (not that people don't delude themselves you'll change, fall for them etc. - though of course that's on them).
Doesn't actually guarantee anything. Plus std's.
A dozen times - I've exchanged about 2 posts with you about this. Would include but srsly can't be arsed finding them.

Maintain this chit is more likely with younger people.
Most females can't do only sex - she was going to catch feels and get hurt (esp. cause she'd be more likely to put you on 'older man/real adult' pedestal and cause you didn't give a fk, so you were at peak of your attractiveness) ... you (should) know this by your age.

As the older person you have more life experience and arguably more responsibility to act sensibly (in predicting and avoiding the potential cluster-f*ck situation).
Is it worth the sex? Prob. not; that's what you'd expect the older person to see more clearly than the younger.
Just my opinion, others will argue differently of course.

I just think you're less likely to meet someone good for a relationship when you're letting yourself get caught up in all this drama for the sake of some p*ssy. What's wrong with masturbation for a while lol

she literally has no idea wtf she is doing.

Ranger,

When I am in the business of banging crazy sloots I never tell them my last name OR where I work...Easier said than done to keep that a mystery but stuff like this is why

I once had a girl try to run me over on a first date.....then stalk me for ages afterwards....ah I should really start a log or write a book like all my friends say...most of my dating stories end with a crazy/funny outcome

Remain NC at all costs.

She definitely is displaying the signs of BPD, though 'diagnosing' her isn't functional to you. That said, she will fade. Ride this out man. She will tire of expending so much energy on you and find a new victim. Until then, you must, I repeat must, not have any communication with her.

If you do, you will be giving her validation and training her that when she calls you 100 times with no response, you will cave. Next time, after 100 calls and no response, she will ratchet up the crazy antics until you cave again, and so on.

Call the police today and inform them you are being harassed. Or, if you can afford it, get a lawyer on retainer asap. You don't need an order of protection, but you want to be the first one in the system should she really go off the deep end.


For all of you recommending talking to her, I get it. But it is poor advice in this situation. It will only reinforce her belief she is the victim and in need of rescuing and Ranger is the one to do it. Totally unhealthy for both parties.

This woman is completely unstable, and it is not Ranger's responsibility to endanger himself to rescue her from herself. I mean seriously, think about this, she openly despises him, yet goes through all the trouble of getting numerous phones to call him from, bringing him food, etc.


Cliffs
-Stay the fuk away from her, completely
-Contact police and inform them of her harassment (or get a lawyer on retainer)

Furthermore, for any of you attributing this to age, please stop. Such an attitude drives and embeds the normalization of these behaviors further into social consciousness.

She is 19.

At 18 she will have completed ~14 years of education supplemented by social interaction with peers. She is able to vote. She is able to live alone and get lines of credit. She is able to join the military. She is able to have sex with any other adult. She is an adult by legal definition.

Her feelings of emotional turmoil are understandable. Her behavioral responses to her feelings are completely unacceptable. And she is responsible for them.

There are 18 yo men who have been prosecuted for less. Don't be a misogynist by rationalizing her inexcusable behaviors because she is a woman.

Absolutely. It's called shaping.

The reason she spins it back to your fault is that she can't handle it being hers, and the torment it will bring her. bluegold04 says it's absolutely nothing to do with age - and that's sorta correct - but age generally brings some level of acceptance of wrongdoing and introspection. She was rich and spoiled - and can't handle being wrong.

Again, it's up to you whether you talk or not - you could take the easy route for yourself and just agree that she's right and did nothing wrong, you're an ******* for going NC, but you want to date someone older. I'd probably go a secondary route to point out her inexcusable recent behavior, say that I shouldn't have gone NC (just take that blow), and still say you're moving on to someone older.

that's a lot of repetition (not just an isolated post) in this thread alone for not caring about her opinion. I bet you've whined about it irl with your friends and family too.

Long time lurker, made an account just to say this...

Ranger, you really need to go to the police. Not because you're in danger, but given the level of instability this girl has displayed, it's imperative you get your side of the story in first. It would not surprise me if, after she realizes you're not budging on your nc, she flips a 180 and goes to the authorities crying rape. Would not be the first time a girl has used that as a revenge tactic. And the legal system seems to be biased towards females in these situations.

So anyways, go to police, let them know what's happening, also definitely save those voicemails as evidence. And do you have a security camera on your porch? If you do, find the video of her dropping off the pho. Best of luck.

Inb4 false rape claims from 19 y/o.

While age is only one factor here, consider these points;

a. At 35, do you think you have or have not matured, gotten life experience & learned how to deal with your feelings & relationships better since you were 19?

b. If you had a kid and it happened to be a daughter, currently age 19, would you feel even slightly differently about a 35 year old guy dating her v's a 19/20 year old man dating her?

(If my hub heard a 35 year old man was 'dating' his 19 yr old daughter, I'd say it would take a millisecond for him to glance at the gun cabinet).

c. Human brain inc. reasoning, dealing with emotions is still developing until 25. There's a reason terms like adolescents and young adults exist.

"The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until he or she is 25 years old or so.
In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational part. This is the part of the bran that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdale. This is the emotional part.
In teen's brains, the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making center are still developing. That's why when teens are under overwhelming emotional input, they can't explain later what they were thinking. They weren't thinking as much as they were feeling".

https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyc...ContentID=3051

Yeah, this could've happened with a 35 year old woman, but it was even more likely with a still teenage girl; plus how bad it looks when people know it's a mid 30's man who's been fking her.

Shouldn't have gone there. There's the law and then there's ethics & good sense.

This story really just shows everything the misc says about women. Try to be nice and you get no where, you leave and they go stalker on you.

I seriously can't stand young girls these days. I had this really nice 19yo I was banging for a while, cooked for me, bought me stuff etc, goes to college and turns full feminist - gets critical of me, swears etc. Dumped her so fast, sad AF seeing a nice girl like that ruined by society.

a. Of course I have matured since I was 19 until now. But that is not the point and your question is just silly and an attempt to redirect from reality.
The reality is that her behavior is abnormal and abusive, and it is in no way unreasonable to EXPECT a 19 year old to possess the modicum of awareness necessary to not react as she has.

b. Of course I would 'feel' different about my theoretical daughter dating a 35yo vs a 19/20yo. Again, this is not the point and another attempt to redirect. She is an adult and legally responsible for her actions. Furthermore, I would hope I hadn't raised a complete basketcase who seems incapable of dealing with (let's be honest here) even mild disappointment. [That was in no way meant to disparage Ranger or his technique]
Again, it is not unreasonable to EXPECT a 19yo woman to not behave as she is.
I don't know you or your husband, however, based on your perceived negative reaction to your 19yo daughter dating a 35yo I would hope that millisecond prior to arming himself would be spent reflecting on his actions and behaviors that contributed to his 19yo daughter seeking an older man. But nah, you're right, Little Princess could never do anything wrong and threatening another man with a gun is certainly the only sane reaction to these circumstances. I mean, she really is only a woman, so she can't be expected to understand the big world she's in and control herself, right?

c. I understand this, and yes, I was already aware of this. It is not germane to this situation, again, because it is not unreasonable to EXPECT a 19yo to possess more self-control than she is exhibiting.


Are you trying to argue that because Ranger is older this is somehow acceptable behavior on her part? Like, if she was doing this to a 20yo guy then you would see her behavior as unacceptable? Or that because she is a 19yo woman he should have just assumed she would turn completely batsh!t crazy at some point?

If a 19yo dude was doing this to a woman of any age he would have silver bracelets before he could shout 'Equal Rights!'

[QUOTE=bluegold04 post_id=1480640011]a. Of course I have matured since I was 19 until now. But that is not the point and your question is just silly and an attempt to redirect from reality.
The reality is that her behavior is abnormal and abusive, and it is in no way unreasonable to EXPECT a 19 year old to possess the modicum of awareness necessary to not react as she has.

b. Of course I would 'feel' different about my theoretical daughter dating a 35yo vs a 19/20yo. Again, this is not the point and another attempt to redirect. She is an adult and legally responsible for her actions. Furthermore, I would hope I hadn't raised a complete basketcase who seems incapable of dealing with (let's be honest here) even mild disappointment. [That was in no way meant to disparage Ranger or his technique]
Again, it is not unreasonable to EXPECT a 19yo woman to not behave as she is.
I don't know you or your husband, however, based on your perceived negative reaction to your 19yo daughter dating a 35yo I would hope that millisecond prior to arming himself would be spent reflecting on his actions and behaviors that contributed to his 19yo daughter seeking an older man. But nah, you're right, Little Princess could never do anything wrong and threatening another man with a gun is certainly the only sane reaction to these circumstances. I mean, she really is only a woman, so she can't be expected to understand the big world she's in and control herself, right?

c. I understand this, and yes, I was already aware of this. It is not germane to this situation, again, because it is not unreasonable to EXPECT a 19yo to possess more self-control than she is exhibiting.


Are you trying to argue that because Ranger is older this is somehow acceptable behavior on her part? Like, if she was doing this to a 20yo guy [i]then[i] you would see her behavior as unacceptable? Or that because she is a 19yo woman he should have just assumed she would turn completely batsh!t crazy at some point?

If a 19yo dude was doing this to a woman of any age he would have silver bracelets before he could shout 'Equal Rights!'[/QUOTE]All the points ^ were related to age being a relevant factor here - you were arguing that it was irrelevant.

Her behaviour could be considered predictable for a teenager - I'd also expect/think there was good chance of a 19 year old boy I was ****ing losing the plot, being all dramatic, needing police intervention etc. if he caught feels and realised I hadn't and was going to discard him sooner or later.

(It is more likely with a girl than a boy though; due to how we as different genders tend to feel abut sex).

That is the risk you take if you f*ck with much younger people who are not even mentally or emotionally developed adults.

That was my point he shouldn't have gone there; high risk, was likely to become a mess.

(Re.a hypothetical daughter and her part in 'dating' a 35 year old man, I would not hold a teenager[b] of either gender in case that isn't clear from what I've said above [/b]to the same standards of judgement, sense & emotional control as a 35 year old adult.

I could not see it as a truly 'equal' relationship, and would see the older person as the one acting inappropriately and irresponsibly and therefore due more wrath. (Not that I wouldn't be having a srs talk with a daughter too).

I've managed to respond without calling any of your points silly, you will note.

Her age is irrelevant, because she is a legal adult. They were two consenting adults doing things adults do. This in no way gives her the right to harass and abuse him. I would not have made said argument were she under 18yo.

Yes, her behavior could be considered predictable but to make such predictions about an adults behavior levies horrifying consequences. We should predict that any adult below the age of 25 should go off the rails when met with undesired consequences of their choices? No, I refuse to take such a position. That is just demeaning.

While I appreciate your willingness to delineate between the sexes, again, a 19yo man would not be given such a pass socially or legally.

Perhaps it is high risk, but I ask you, is it high risk inherently due to human tendency or rather because (especially because she is female) society will jump through hoops to rescue her and convince her she is a victim in this situation or help justify her behaviors? Furthermore, are you implying that the age gap is really the culprit here; like if all things being equal but Ranger had been 23yo she would react differently?

I don't think you understand my point, I'm not expecting her to behave or react like a 35yo. However, again, it is in no way unreasonable to expect a 19yo woman to not go completely nuts under these circumstances. She should be expected to behave like an adult, which she is by the way.

What if your 19yo 'daughter' was not like this basketcase and was raised well by you and your husband, but genuinely fell in love with a 35yo who genuinely fell in love with her? You would assert control over your adult daughter's life because of your presuppositions about how life should work? Sounds a bit controlling doesn't it?

I frankly don't care if you call any of my points silly. I didn't call you silly, or attack you as a person. I said your question was silly because it was. I genuinely appreciate and respect the conversation we are having and I respect you as a person. But it was silly because you seem sane and I'm sane, and while we may have matured between 19-35, I'd wager that by age 16 we both knew not to react like this 19yo lunatic. Your question was designed in such a way to justify her reacting this way at 19yo, thus, silly.

I'm not sure anybody is arguing that her behavior is OK - equally a 19yo man's behavior would not be OK. I think the point is that reality does not match an arbitrary delineation the state uses to define an adult (age 18). I agree that we should not attempt to normalize it though and recognize it as disorderly (and likely bad parenting).

You can maintain the argument that her behavior is absolutely out of line and disgraceful, while still acknowledge the greater probability (in reality) that 19yos will likely exhibit this behavior more than those that are significantly older.