It was a terrible decision that you chose hell as a 19yo, and tragic that you had nobody reasonable to talk you out of it. As everyone who goes to war, you don't come back anymore with your sanity intact.

Just because you made a mistake then, don't push other young people through hell. You couldn't take it (look at your life), and they cannot as well.
Such damage, pain, hurt is bad and is not a normality for any living being.

Secondly, you don't know her (same with Daisy), you don't care for her. So you don't teach her a lesson, especially when she didn't ask you to.

Start being genuine and tell her: " You have been right, I don't care for you, and neither for the other 21yo in my life. I just want sex with you and occasional female attention from you. Would you be ok with that?"

Stop keeping her trapped in an awful limbo-zone and start being true to her. Her telephone calls and the pain she is in now, because of your emotional abuse and your passive aggressiveness towards her, will cease at once - and she'll hopefully start to recover.

Would like to know who keeps repping this troll because her reps constantly go up.

Let's get her down to red.

She's probably on the female misc alot with her fellow feminist/SJWs

I ventured over there once, there's some crazies for sure - complete drama.

Serious question:

Are you on drugs?


Also, plenty of people come back from war with their sanity intact. I am one of those people. But please, with your vast experience, tell me all about it.

Who's teaching who a lesson exactly? And who said anything about that being the case? You have some weird mental issues going on where you are making up reality in your own mind and then making me a part of it. My emotional abuse? Being nice to her is emotional abuse? Her telling me I'm a failure because I chose a career path that isn't high paying but makes me happy is ME abusing HER?

How the fck do you exist? Seriously.

Of course anyone, regardless of age, can be mal-adjusted. Been there myself; the most 'psycho', stressful partner ever had was a 45 year old father.

Anyway; while it is true that anyone of any age can be psycho/mal-adjusted ... that does not change the fact that a teenager was always likely to be immature, extreme, emotional, impulsive, unable to deal with feelings, petulant etc. She may or may not be 'psycho', are there any of us here who can say we haven't done stupid chit when we were teenagers/early 20's, dealt with things badly etc. Some people, yeah, never change, but plenty of people gain self-control, stoicism, insight etc. as they age and get relationship experience.

It would have been much wiser not to have gotten involved, that was my point (and you took even greater risks by relying on withdrawal as a form of contraception/bc; sure she can say she's on the pill, whatever; there's plenty of men with kids who took that as gospel).

I sometimes read out posts to work-mates at lunch-time and my colleague when I said 'remember the former ranger guy who's logging his dating experiences, he's now casually seeing a 19 yr old and a 21 yr old'; she asked how old you were and when I said '35', she responded "19?!!!, 19 years old?" Then just shook her head. I'd say that's a fairly common reaction.

This drama was partly self-inflicted and furthermore, in general; misc can't say females who keep getting with b*stards & bad boys are not just experiencing bad luck or current dating culture ... and at the same time say guys who keep getting with 'psycho b*tches' are purely on the receiving end of bad luck and current culture. Everyone has some responsibility for judgement.
Sorry, I'm not fully getting this; exclusive as fwb's or exclusive in a relationship?
You don't have to tell anyone you gave up a 6 figure job, you tell them you made a career change and are in the middle of education/training, you'll be working in ... months/years.

If someone can't see that you'll be working, earning etc. in the near-ish future, then they are not very smart or reasonable and I'd dismiss them as rel. material on that alone.

I've seen women get into rels with guys who did not have careers/were not working but who had a basis for future development; sorry to use the cliche but the 'right' woman will accept that if she likes you enough and sees potential.

Anyone with a tap of sense should expect to spend a couple of years min. getting to know someone and building a rel before they enter into srs commitment anyway. She'd have that time to see if you're moving toward a career etc.

(Oh and on the gender bias front, if you think that the dating pool was wide and varied for me at 34 when I was single after a long relationship ... you're badly mistaken. It was extremely limited and pretty chit.
The vast majority of people are coupled up.

As a female, you were left with;
>young guys wantin sex,
> cheaters
> commitment phobes,
>men old enough to be your dad
>guys who seem to be gay but in total denial
>guys with obvious alcohol problems
etc etc.

Then there's someone who might be the right demographic but whom you just are not remotely physically attracted to and you try to force yourself but it's just not happening and you know it would be fked up to proceed.

After nearly a year looking, I got involved with the ^ 45 year old guy (who was a widower with a large family of teenagers). Obv not a simple situation but it was not (mostly) his family who were the problem for me, it was his behaviour. Eventually i ended up getting back together with the guy I'd finished the long relationship with.

If I hadn't, srsly don't know how I'd have found someone ... (heard there were loads of men in some part of Canada, wouldn't have ruled out heading there lol). Misc should not mistake womens' ease of getting no strings sex (which most do not want anyway) for ease of getting a relationship.

You have to sort though a helluva lot of chaf and keep your head on straight to find someone, but many people do. I'd concentrate on that.

The worst part is she doesn't even comprehend other people could and actually do have different understandings.

I always took her as being srs.

MefromG is one of the greatest trolls in the history of this forum, I'm beginning to think. She/it always brings the best WTF responses in people.
But, yeah, sadly I think she's not trolling, she's legitimately a semi-crazy person.

Of course it's a fairly common reaction for your friends (especially if your age) to hate on a dude dating a 19 year old. Half of it is jealousy and the other half is the same standard bull**** I deal with in her and in real life.

Person: Ooooh, she's 19, she's going to be crazy!
Me: Hey, remember when I was 27 and dated that chick 7 years older than me? Remember that she turned out to be psycho?
Person: .......
Me: Hey, remember when I dated that chick who was my age and turned out to have a history of drug abuse that she hid really well?
Person: .......
Me: Hey, remember that chick that was 3 years younger than me that lied about having cancer?
Person: ........
Me: Hey, remember that 21 year old I dated that moved to the east coast? Remember how great she was?
Person: ........
Me: So what's this about younger women NOT being a good option?
Person: How could you date a young woman? <GASP>


Everyone ignores the fact that women are women regardless of age. Some of the best people I've ever dated have been under 22 years of age. The absolute worst I ever dated was 7 years older than (not counting cancer liar who was a special anomaly) But yes, let's go ahead and assume 19 year old should never happen because.....well, I don't even know, people just feel the need to pat themselves on the back because of their age bias.

The real issue with the 19 year old wasn't the fact she's 19, it's the fact she came from a rich family, never had to work a day in her life and is emotionally unstable. The first two I found out after hanging out a few times, the last one is always the one that manifests under stress situations as I found out and as I went NC to avoid dealing with her. I've mentioned all this numerous times in here only to be ignored and, ONCE AGAIN, get harped on about age. I also said I didn't expect it to go anywhere with her, the only thing I didn't expect was her to show up at my house and leave all those voicemails, etc. But I've dealt with that from women (non young ones) before as well so, ONCE AGAIN, age isn't the factor here. But please, tell yourself how you saw this coming based on age. In reality, just tell yourself you don't like it when guys my age date young women. The 21 year old who moved to the east coast....she was great. But I shouldn't have dated her because I was 34 at the time right? Whatever.

As far as there not being any good men for you to date in your 30's. Hardly. There's tons of 30-40 year old men looking to find someone and having a hell of a time. The last one I dated (she was 34) dumped me when I left for Thailand for a month. I really liked her, I don't have commitment issues (in before why aren't you married at 35 then?) and yet I was dumped anyway. Maybe you were too picky just like she was.

How the **** do you even come up with the **** you say? How do you click reply without realizing what you just wrote is insane?

She has a different viewpoint than you that is more along the lines of feminism. People have different viewpoints, as you can see in the US right now. Some are conservative, some are liberal. The fact that posters on this subform include:

- Used car salesman
- Muslim virgin woman
- Conservative prison guard
- US Ranger

etc. brings the lulz. If every poster looked and acted like zyzz, this forum would be boring. Different backgrounds and life experiences make this subforum entertaining.

Well, I am not surprised about the 19 year old as we all saw it coming, just like others on here saw it coming for me 3 years ago.

I can see how appealing they are to Ranger because they don't have baggage, they're fun, and unlike many 35 year old men and women, they don't spend an entire date talking about what a bitch their ex-wife is (or ex-husband is).

However, a 19 year old girl is still emotionally very immature and volatile. The guys were train wrecks as well. Their brains don't fully mature until age 25, so they really like a mature person and find that person to be different, but they cannot handle it.

I actually like MeFromG's posts; even though she's extremely biased towards favoring women it can counter the bias against women. There are generally multiple perspectives to analyze situations. Same reason I listen to political podcasts on both the conservative right and progressive left.

Fuuuuark, haven't been able to update **** at all lately.

School/work/tests non-stop for the last week, haven't even had more than 10 hours off in a single setting, just enough time to sleep and hit the gym when I'm up. Just got back from work at 11 pm, have to be up at 5:30, about to get to sleep now.

At work, (instructor) I saw a super cute mid twenties (holy shiiit not 19 or 35) chick who was there as a student. I'm going to approach next time I see her. Wish me luck. Hopefully it either works out or brings the lulz.

Haven't heard from 19 year old in 2 days, makes me happy. Hopefully she's off to fck with someone else now.

21 year old still likes me a lot, always wants to see me, I'm just too busy to see her at all.

Goodnight ladies and gents (lmao at MefromG)

I agree. This forum is heavily slanted towards testosterone men who say that all women are sloots, etc., that it does bring a different viewpoint. The R&P section needs more liberals as it's heavily slanted towards Trump supporters.

If I just PM someone for advice, I only get one person's perspective. With a thread you can get people from a variety of backgrounds. I can now see how my past threads came off as really being delusional about having a relationship with a much younger man.

Since I started Bible study, I am dating no one and that delusion is gone. I've replaced it with two much more stable men

Generalizing here, but I believe it's true for the most part: as someone in their 30's, dating young girls is like doing coke, it's fuking fun but you know it is bad for you. The maturity disparity, where you are in your life, etc is undeniable. Of course there are exceptions but good luck finding that diamond in the rough. I would suggest dating a bit older. Sure, you'll deal with a lot of the same chit but I bet your chances of finding something more fulfilling will increase. Until you find that, nothing is stopping you from casually dating younger girls, just know what you're dealing with which you should by now.

You're talking as if I'm supposed to know your life story. Idk how long you've been single before I'm going off the post I quoted before.

If you're choosing women based on who can give you that rush you're missing in your life now then it makes sense you're picking the wrong women. Most normal, stable, emotionally mature women probably aren't going to give you that. I've known women who do this when choosing men and it never ends well. You keep listing all these crazy women you've dated and the common denominator in that list is you. Without knowing you it's hard to say what's going on but it makes for a very interesting thread.

Good god woman, take a breath. You care WAY too much about him dating younger.

It is really easy to date/ find a relationship as a women. I never understood why women want to debate this. Much easier as you get older imo. The hardest time I had dating was in college when every guy felt he had to party and sleep with 2737484 women otherwise he was wasting his prime with one women. It's gotten much easier since so I can't relate to your experience. Lots of great 30 something guys w good jobs looks for relationships so women that can't find one, I would agree are a little off.

and you know this because youve been to war?

whats wrong with used car salesman?

Hi AJ,

I've heard the same as well, from my female friends around the US from East Coast to West Coast, ages 30-55.

Maybe it's because most of them have children, yet they have also listed the following to me when we talk, that this is what they run into:

1. young guys wantin sex,
2. cheaters
3. commitment phobes,
4. guys who seem to be gay but in total denial
5. guys with obvious alcohol problems

#1 and #5 appear to be the most common.

"great 30 something guys w good jobs looks for relationships so women that can't find one"

Where do they exist? I will suggest they move to your location, then!LMAO you have to ask.

I tend to attract 27 and up most of the time, but there will be the occasional 21 - 25 year old that will attract me.

It definitely is fleeting with younger women because you don't know their attention span or interest with you. Definitely an issue with maturity with some.

But me at 33 dating someone 24 isn't like me being 43 and dating someone 24.

And given conversations with US_Ranger he's not really against dating women closer his age, he just runs into a different set of issues.I got hit with the "why aren't you married" question recently by a 20 something year old lol.

I didn't expect you to know my life story. I also didn't expect you to project gaps based on my posting here by filling it with standard douchebag DNA. I'm not that guy. And yes, getting laid once in awhile is nice. I 100% prefer it to be the same woman that I like being around but the dating game (not sure if you're a part of it) is slanted on both sides so that monkey branching is completely normal now so it usually doesn't work out that way.

Of course the common denominator is me. And no, I'm not looking for a rush of excitement. Every single girl I've ever dated has told me the same thing. I'm the most calm and grounded person they've ever been with. My ex (the most psycho one I've ever dated other than the one that lied about cancer who's a special case) said that she never felt as calm and collected as she did when she was around me. I take those types of comments to heart because it means I have that sort of effect on people, at least in dating. So I'm not looking for a rush, I'm looking for the exact opposite. What I'm getting sold is the fake foot forward that everyone seems to give me. The car-salesman approach of debuting a nice shiny vehicle only for it to have a non-working engine. I don't find this out until I take the test drive because these women I find put an absolute mastery level into their hiding of psychosis. I know it's because I always give everyone a fair shot instead of categorizing everyone and I know I can stop this by just instantly ditching certain types beforehand but I honestly believe in giving everyone a chance. It hasn't worked out so far.Ahem, hi there.

So your intuition doesn't fire at all?

Sure. But my intuition generally tells me to run from damn near every woman I meet. My mind can't wrap around their logic on most things. (in before that's how it is between all men and women) Coming from the combat military background, I think my brain developed a certain way where I can't relate to most people on a level where it comes to standard American things. However, I don't want to be that way so I go the other route and give everyone a fair shot. It's caused me to get fcked over many a time by many a person. I just don't want to be jaded and not trust people so I give them a chance even if there's parts of my brain telling me to bail.

Also, I've met plenty of good women before too, it just hasn't worked out, sometime due to timing, sometime because they monkey branch on to someone else like people tend to do in modern dating .

Sigh. Kids these days. What will we do with themAt least they didn't ask if you are gay because you're not married. My Dad's friend is forever single and happy to be, and when he was in his 30s and 40s people would ask if he was gay. At least times have changed in that regard.

I've never been on a dating site b/c I've never been single long enough to try one (once I decided to start dating again) but I'm always interested in talking to other women who are on them b/c I'm on here and I wanna see it from the woman's side. So recently I've known two women who were on dating sites both in their 30s, college educated, good job etc.

The first one I worked with, she was Hispanic, petite, attractive and she was on Bumble and Coffee meets bagel. Every single week without fail she go out with two new guys, usually would meet up for drinks during the week and dinner dates on the weekend. Every guy was late 20s-late 30s (40s if he had enough money) had a degree and a good jobs and above 6'. She had zero interest in any of them. She would show me their texts and if the guy asked too many questions or his reply was too long she would just stop talking to him. The real issue with her is she wanted to date a doctor. She was occasionally sleeping with w an ER doctor who was in his 40s divorced with a kid and had told her he had no interest in a relationship but would occasionally hit her up for sex. She was also aggressively pursuing her dentist and had a steady FWB relationship w a personal trainer.

The second one was a consultant I met through work, she's 32, pretty (apparently really pretty since my bf got a crush on her from her LinkedIn page) and has been single for 2 years. She was on Match and e-harmony. She was going out with a new guy every week for YEARS. I asked her why she hadn't found anyone and she said what you're saying "there are no men, dating is hard blah blah blah" but I kept pushing her and the real reason came out which was she wanted a relationship like her married friends had. So she would date a guy for a few weeks and then compare her relationship w that guy to her friends marriage of 8 years and of course her relationship would always fall short so she would end it. She told me she was comfortable being single and she wasn't going to settle for anything less than a perfect relationship.

So morale of the story being there are men to date, there are actually LOTS of men to date women just have these idealistic views of what their mate should be and are rejecting tons of men for not meeting these unrealistic standards. These women were in their 30s but I personally know women w kids, women in their 50s and 60s who have met really great, stable attractive men online. So again, if you're a women and you're having a really hard time dating, its you.

I have to disagree with your thinking on this. Not everyone deserves a chance with you. Just bc your background is different than most people doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to your gut.

So your two friends are basically every woman (other than maybe 2 or 3) I've met from online dating. (srs)

The one I really liked who was my age seemed to be everything I liked in a woman. Cool chick, seemed to have her **** together, was honest and upfront about things. I jumped into a river and saved her dog's life and almost died in the process, she was blown away that a guy would do something like that for her little fur-ball. Everything was great and then BAM, it was over. No reasoning. Looking back, she was always talking about her 5-6 close friends that were all married, had a kid or were planning on having a kid shortly and then I read your post and it makes a lot more sense. I didn't fit into the neat little compartmentalized box of the white picket fence household and yoga in the evening while talking about what happened in the office between Betty and Gina. (the crap I don't care about but apparently what she wanted since all her friends had that)

Funny how that works. Things go great and then behind the scenes I'm actually clueless to what's going on. It's also funny how these women are serial daters and don't realize that all the "nice guys" they're looking for and bitch about not finding are right in front of them.

Also, desensitization. Women on dating sites can take a picture of them spilling nacho cheese all over themselves after just waking up after an all night binger and they're still going to get a 100 messages a day. The attractive ones I've been out with that showed me their online profiles (I always ask because it's fascinating) will have 500-600 unread messages in a day, some from really good looking dudes. It's a crap-shoot. Your friends are everything that the male population bitches about when it comes to online dating.I disagree.

People deserve a chance because not everyone is deal the same cards in life. I grew up poor. I got kicked out at 15. I almost ended up in jail and instead joined the military to get out of the situation I was in. I had nothing going for me when I was younger, didn't have a good relationship with my family, all sorts of textbook negative things. Meanwhile, I'm now an adult and I've done a lot of interesting things, have volunteered to help wildlife, been around the world helping out where I can and I'm studying pre-hospital medicine to serve the ****tiest part of the US population for wages that aren't going to be all that good. But if I tell someone this on a date, it's a 99.95% chance I'm not getting a second date with them. 99.99% chance if they're my age. Why? Because their "gut" tells them I'm not a safe bet. I hate that I get zoned like that and I'm not going to do that to someone else.

Yes, maybe she doesn't have a great career because she grew up poor and had to work for everything and it's a slow process. Maybe she doesn't have a great home life because sometimes life works out that way. You know what though, the worst women I've ever dated in my life were rich women who had so called strong-family values. They were the most judgmental, awful human beings I've ever had the displeasure of talking to. So my "gut" instinct tells me to go for the ones that many here would see as a red flag but in reality, the worst red flags I've had were from textbook perfect women.