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Forum » Married and engaged miscers, how do you know your marriage will last
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Thread: Married and engaged miscers, how do you know your marriage will last

post 1528321761 11-04-2017, 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted By revoman⏩
I was with my wife 7 years before we got married so we've already been through the good, the bad and ugly and got through everything together. Things like that make it last,not rushing into things either like getting married after a few months is just crazy.
That's BS. Doesn't mean anything at all.

I knew my husband three days before I moved in with him and married him, and we've been married 21 years.
You can NOT predict the future no matter how you think you have everything figured out.

There are happy arranged marriages where the couple knew hardly anything about each other, yet stay married happily for decades. Then there are those who are crazy in love and convinced they've found the one, yet get divorced in few years.
post 1528322111 11-04-2017, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted By Weaklifts1x1⏩
Why would you be marrying someone with such a power distance? This isn't 1950 anymore. Women make six figures too. Marry one of them.
Marrying a feminist, corporate woman working 60 hours a week is probably the worst thing a man can do.
post 1528322431 11-04-2017, 09:47 PM
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I wouldn't say it's total bs, a lot of people get hitched and find themselves getting divorced soon after .I had a tenant move into one of my apartments,recently married ,2 months later I collect their rent and she tells me they are now divorced .for some people it may work and for many it doesn't .Congrats to you that everything worked out the way it did ,21 years has some bragging rights .
post 1528323231 11-04-2017, 09:58 PM
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At the end of the day a life long marriage would be GOAT, but statistically and realistically you have to also be smart and know that marriage under current Western legal climate also a full risk on the males if it fails. Women also know this, they can call it off at any time and the courts will still be in their favor. Should that deter you? Well no, but it should stop you just jumping into one carelessly. Both genders can get bored and leave but you'll find mostly women who get bored and wander. Any person in the relationship that have no personal interests, hobbies etc will be the one prone to wanting a "change", loyalty is a rare trait but golden if you get get two people sharing it.

As usual on the misc or elsewhere you can't get a balance of reason/logic. One-hand you have seething hatred, people completely dismissing marriage no matter what, and on the other extreme you have idiots calling everyone FA behind their "massive" 1-5 year marriage if they don't just fall with the first person that makes them feel warm and fussy. But overall you want to be cautious with marriage and who you decide to risk all your hard work with, but also not being too stubborn and cynical that you miss a good opportunity. I think the government should fuk off with their involvement with marriage today, it's not needed like it was many generations ago. That's the real problem as well, alongside condoning of "playing around" nearly everywhere you look.
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post 1528323271 11-04-2017, 09:59 PM
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Originally Posted By revoman⏩
I wouldn't say it's total bs, a lot of people get hitched and find themselves getting divorced soon after .I had a tenant move into one of my apartments,recently married ,2 months later I collect their rent and she tells me they are now divorced .for some people it may work and for many it doesn't .Congrats to you that everything worked out the way it did ,21 years has some bragging rights .
There are marriages where one person decides to leave after twenty or thirty years of marriage. That's why nobody can be sure what future will hold. Maybe the couple whose been married for 75 years, they pretty much have bragging rights but other than that, nothing is guaranteed.
post 1528323721 11-04-2017, 10:02 PM
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You don't know. So you work on the relationship every day.

Make sure that you stay friends first. I can't stress this enough. Don't look at the other person as a role. That is the mistake that many make. If that person isn't your friend, then you messed up. Do little things to show kindness and affection.

As important is improving yourself. Never stop. If you keep the bar high, your partner will be motivated to do the same. Nothing keeps a woman's attention like knowing that her man is attractive. Because if she notices, other women do to.

Source: Been with my lady for 29 years this month. Married for 18. Two kids. She's my best friend.
Jesus is my lifting partner.
post 1528323761 11-04-2017, 10:03 PM
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post 1528324051 11-04-2017, 10:06 PM
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[QUOTE=ImSamantha post_id=1528323761][img]https://i.redd.it/u9t5rjxjb1wz.jpg[img][/QUOTE]Negged.

MMGA.
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post 1528324111 11-04-2017, 10:06 PM
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Originally Posted By Cass40⏩
That's BS. Doesn't mean anything at all.

I knew my husband three days before I moved in with him and married him, and we've been married 21 years.
You can NOT predict the future no matter how you think you have everything figured out.

There are happy arranged marriages where the couple knew hardly anything about each other, yet stay married happily for decades. Then there are those who are crazy in love and convinced they've found the one, yet get divorced in few years.
I do believe that love at first sight is possible, it’s just very unlikely so I don’t think what he said is BS, it’s only practical to get to know the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with well before marrying them. I’m not saying that you marrying so soon was wrong in any way, if you know you are without a doubt in love then you’re right Cassie, it doesn’t really matter.
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post 1528324371 11-04-2017, 10:08 PM
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Originally Posted By JaymzJ⏩
I do believe that love at first sight is possible, it’s just very unlikely so I don’t think what he said is BS, it’s only practical to get to know the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with well before marrying them. I’m not saying that you marrying so soon was wrong in any way, if you know you are without a doubt in love then you’re right Cassie, it doesn’t really matter.
Agreed. Cass and I are opposite stories, with the same result. I knew my wife for an entire school year at college before we got together. Were together for over 10 years before we married.

She had lightning strike. Pretty awesome.
Jesus is my lifting partner.
post 1528324581 11-04-2017, 10:10 PM
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Ive seen a few "happy" couples split now, after having kids, one couple was going to try and keep the house together for the kids, but it went up for sale once the wife got a new bf.

I still want to get married. Fuk getting married in your 20's , that's rolling the dice for sure!
post 1528324751 11-04-2017, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted By JaymzJ⏩
I do believe that love at first sight is possible, it’s just very unlikely so I don’t think what he said is BS, it’s only practical to get to know the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with well before marrying them. I’m not saying that you marrying so soon was wrong in any way, if you know you are without a doubt in love then you’re right Cassie, it doesn’t really matter.
Well I did fall in love with my husband at first sight but that is not what love is. Love is sharing your life with someone, going through life together with ups and downs, and a lot of things are going to happen when you're with someone this long, no matter what. Love is action, love is what you do every day, it's not the feeling you have when you first meet someone and think you've found your "soul mate".
post 1528325171 11-04-2017, 10:17 PM
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Knew a recently married preggo chick at work who came up with the idea that i was the one that got her pregnant as a 'joke'
post 1528326051 11-04-2017, 10:25 PM
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Originally Posted By Ephedra⏩
Marrying a feminist, corporate woman working 60 hours a week is probably the worst thing a man can do.
Please explain. Your both leveling up, year after year. You both know either if you could bail at any time and there's no money lost. Neither of us are in it for the money.

So what if she takes half if she brought half.
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post 1528326241 11-04-2017, 10:28 PM
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#75
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Love is an experience, not a thing. Many times people are deeply in love, but know a relationship won't work, while some may not even be in love, but find that a relationship suits both parties. People need to get the notion out of their heads that marriage is about love, because that was never its intention. It's a social contract, usually to help family stability when you have kids. If more people look at it as an social arrangement rather than un-ending Hollywood romance, then I think they would be much happier together.
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post 1528327031 11-04-2017, 10:36 PM
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Originally Posted By TaeBoNinja⏩
Love is an experience, not a thing. Many times people are deeply in love, but know a relationship won't work, while some may not even be in love, but find that a relationship suits both parties. People need to get the notion out of their heads that marriage is about love, because that was never its intention. It's a social contract, usually to help family stability when you have kids. If more people look at it as an social arrangement rather than un-ending Hollywood romance, then I think they would be much happier together.
Historically, marriage was never about love. And nowadays, nobody needs to be married. The only thing if you think you need that for your children, or if you're religious, or you have family pressure etc..but other that that it's just a contract where the one who has the money, is in disadvantage.
I'm married because me and my husband have old school values and we've been married our whole lives and couldn't think of any other way of being, yes we love each other and laugh every day but all that could technically be done without a contract, especially since we never wanted children. I don't know why millenials are even getting married.
post 1528327461 11-04-2017, 10:41 PM
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You never know in life I feel ANY relationships will ladybug (even family)

Just don't rush into marriage.
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post 1528327511 11-04-2017, 10:41 PM
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suckers
post 1528328891 11-04-2017, 10:53 PM
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Originally Posted By Cass40⏩
I don't know why millenials are even getting married.
Social pressure is the big reason, I'm guessing. If a couple's been together for a few years, both family & friends will start asking "so when are you two getting married?". Once kids enter the equation it really increases, and then you have the financial incentives.
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post 1528329181 11-04-2017, 10:56 PM
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Originally Posted By Cass40⏩
Well I did fall in love with my husband at first sight but that is not what love is. Love is sharing your life with someone, going through life together with ups and downs, and a lot of things are going to happen when you're with someone this long, no matter what. Love is action, love is what you do every day, it's not the feeling you have when you first meet someone and think you've found your "soul mate".
Love is many things and there are different types of love.
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post 1528334301 11-05-2017, 12:20 AM
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the will and ability to sacrifice and build communication
is one of the main things that let marriage continue
post 1528336361 11-05-2017, 01:06 AM
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Happily married 16 years here. However, from what I gather, our relationship is not typical in the sense that we almost never argue, and we have exactly the same ideas on the most important topics. Children (neither of us want them), money (both of us are incredibly fiscally responsible), sex (still have it 4+ times a week), we both take care of our bodies by working to stay healthy/attractive, and our interests generally match up.

I'm not going to say that we haven't been through some tough times, but to be perfectly honest most of that was on me because my expectations were a bit too high. She's never cheated on me and nor have I on her. That said, love is a weird thing. Its strength waxes and wanes. I'd never want to be without her, but there are times where the best way I can describe it is that I am just "meh." And others where I couldn't be happier. It's normal and you just have to learn and understand that the infatuation feeling you get in a new relationship doesn't last and that's when the reality of deciding to wholly commit yourself to someone becomes a very real decision. It's easy to quit when things get hard, boring, or whatever...but there's a lot to be said for coming home to someone you know that you can trust, love, and be loved/trusted in return. It's like your BFF but with a vagene and bobs.

Cass makes some good points though. We're from an older generation so our views are a little more traditional, but if I was a 20 twenty-something now... I doubt I'd get married. There's just too much downside. Especially for men.
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post 1528338101 11-05-2017, 01:51 AM
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Originally Posted By WutangFlex732⏩
your wife trying to come after everything you worked for
How bout not marrying a woman with no assets then.

What is it with RP and it's pretense that women have no jobs, no houses, no assets ..meanwhile I know 5 women off the top of my head who earn more than their husbands and owned homes b4 they married (while the husbands rented or lived in their family homes).

Is it that most rp chit wouldn't hold up if they acknowledged some women do, or is it that rp assumes every man dates bottom barrel.
Simple minds need simple answers.
post 1528338191 11-05-2017, 01:53 AM
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Originally Posted By WutangFlex732⏩
The constant thought of divorce or your wife trying to come after everything you worked for is daunting. Any day can be the day where she just snaps and calls everything off.
You marry someone who shares your moral code and family values and you don't take them for granted
post 1528338231 11-05-2017, 01:55 AM
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Originally Posted By WutangFlex732⏩
The constant thought of divorce or your wife trying to come after everything you worked for is daunting. Any day can be the day where she just snaps and calls everything off.
I married someone who also has a solid career. If we divorce, most of the finances are a wash plus we will split custody/child support. Like others have said though, people are going to do what they’re going to do so I don’t worry about it. I do my best to be a good dad and husband and hope things work out.
post 1528338441 11-05-2017, 02:02 AM
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I've downgraded marriage down to just being a party.

It's literally just a party for friends to get together 1 night.

Nothing more, nothing less. You can still break up, but now it's called "divorce" and can be financially unfair to one person. But yeah. Literally nothing else changes. It's just a one night party (the wedding)
post 1528338581 11-05-2017, 02:07 AM
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Originally Posted By Maatkarah⏩
How bout not marrying a woman with no assets then.

What is it with RP and it's pretense that women have no jobs, no houses, no assets ..meanwhile I know 5 women off the top of my head who earn more than their husbands and owned homes b4 they married (while the husbands rented or lived in their family homes).

Is it that most rp chit wouldn't hold up if they acknowledged some women do, or is it that rp assumes every man dates bottom barrel.
Well when you’re trying to push a narrative, you normally cherry pick to get your point across.
post 1528338781 11-05-2017, 02:13 AM
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
You don't. I know of plenty of middle aged women who decided to up and leave in their 40's or 50's to live out their lifelong dream of chasing Chads srs. They had families, 20+ year marriages, all the material things they wanted, etc. From the outside, everything appeared bulletproof - but sloots can and do replace their husbands very easily. There is no sure thing anymore.

Women get married under the pretense that he will will change. Men get married under the pretense that she won't change. Good luck. The only way to win at marriage is not to play.
100% truth right here.

People should just leave each other alone when it comes to long term relationships for the most part as of 2017. No one has the skills or understanding to ever make this garbage work. Stop trying. Doesn't even matter if there's social media or not, or what the peoples' ages are. I think as of 2017 especially in the Western world, relationships are impossible to hold on to for extended periods (10+ years)
post 1528338801 11-05-2017, 02:13 AM
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Originally Posted By WutangFlex732⏩
The constant thought of divorce or your wife trying to come after everything you worked for is daunting. Any day can be the day where she just snaps and calls everything off.
If you don't think it will last, I don't think you should married/engaged. I didn't pop the question until I was sure.
post 1528345291 11-05-2017, 04:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Maatkarah⏩
How bout not marrying a woman with no assets then.

What is it with RP and it's pretense that women have no jobs, no houses, no assets ..meanwhile I know 5 women off the top of my head who earn more than their husbands and owned homes b4 they married (while the husbands rented or lived in their family homes).

Is it that most rp chit wouldn't hold up if they acknowledged some women do, or is it that rp assumes every man dates bottom barrel.
Nearly all women ONLY want to marry someone with much MORE money than they do. It's essentially prostitution.

brb


I hate being the bread winner says resentful working mother-of-two
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...other-two.html


What women really want: to marry a rich man
Women still want to marry men who are better educated and earn more money than them, a report finds today.

"The idea that women dislike being financially dependent on men is a myth, with more choosing to “marry up” now than did so in the 1940s, according to Dr Catherine Hakim from the London School of Economics.
After decades of gender equality campaigning many women now find it hard to admit that they want to be a housewife more than they want a successful career of their own, she said."
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...-rich-man.html


You can never fancy a man who becomes a house husband
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...g-verdict.html


Women more attracted to men in expensive cars
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/...sive-cars.html

"It appears that the stereotype of women being positively influenced by a man's status is true and, evolutionarily speaking, this makes sense. However, even with the growing number of women in high-paid careers and the fact that they can be highly successful has no effect on how attractive they are to men. What you find is that thesenew, wealthy women still show a preferment for high-status males."
Still looking for a crew... crew

http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=169710413
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