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Forum » Just Asked My 18 Year Old Son To Leave The House
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Thread: Just Asked My 18 Year Old Son To Leave The House

post 1537027751 12-09-2017, 04:15 PM
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LOL @ this nonsense idea of kicking out your kids.
post 1537027811 12-09-2017, 04:16 PM
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Originally Posted By jdmx⏩
"no amount of care, licking, defending, will fix this"

why u do this?
post 1537028021 12-09-2017, 04:19 PM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
No, that was just a little levity. They won't go to the same schools and probably be broken up like 99% of high school relationships by Thanksgiving.

What I meant to say was, he'll go crazy if he's home and that happens, and it will.

He needs to feel his own consequences, I need to understand he's not a 4 year old who skinned his knee.

I've never been a neglectful parentKids are just different today.I've told him, I'm you biggest fan/supporter, I'm on your side. He's just stubborn.
No they're not, belive me I know I've got two (ages 20 and 15). Parenting styles are different today. People now-a-days just manage their kids they don't bother actually raising them.
Just go to a restaurant and look at all the kids on their phones instead of participating in dinner--learning proper manners and etiquette. That's just one example.

Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
I disagree 100% with you. I'm impatient and yell too much, I'm not perfect, nor am I entitled. I ask my kids to 1. Try their best, 2. Be respectful and 3. Be good kids. The Great Santini, I'm not.
Stop asking and start teaching them.
post 1537028111 12-09-2017, 04:20 PM
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give the army his phone number

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post 1537028671 12-09-2017, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
What if instead, we empowered our kids more. Instead of responding to "Mom, I am hungry" with "you will just have to wait for dinner", you replace it with "you know where the fridge is, and you know how to cook and eat appropriately because I taught you"?

I am not a parent and never will be, but one thing that I would do, is avoid this power struggle. They will end up resisting just for the sake of resisting like we saw in OP's example.
it's a sad little battle of the egos, rather than logical, thoughtful, reasonable and consistent parenting.
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post 1537028891 12-09-2017, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted By MesoPeaks⏩
Maybe he needed your emotional and moral support from you particularly and you were unable to give it to him. Sometimes kids just love some tender loving care, you know...If the kid usually has this kind of behavior, it means, he needs someone to be on his side and not against his side...Basically what you pretty much did was to act like an emperor in our house and didn't even understand his situation....
Exactly, if you do not support him he is gonna inevitably look for it elsewhere and that comes with consequences.
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post 1537029231 12-09-2017, 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
I disagree 100% with you. I'm impatient and yell too much, I'm not perfect, nor am I entitled. I ask my kids to 1. Try their best, 2. Be respectful and 3. Be good kids. The Great Santini, I'm not.
Oh but you are entitled.

You feel entitled to have your kid be somthing he wasn’t raised to be. You feel if he isn’t you can just hand him off, kick him out, be his own man and find out life’s lessons on his own. You aren’t taking. Responsibility in any way for being his father. It’s literally he definition of entitlement.
post 1537029511 12-09-2017, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
I know a guy at work, and his kids are extremely well behave. 11 year old female and 13 year old male.

I talked to him about it, and he explained it in the exact opposite way of what you are suggesting. Parents always enter this power struggle with their kids.

"You should have been harsher"

What if instead, we empowered our kids more. Instead of responding to "Mom, I am hungry" with "you will just have to wait for dinner", you replace it with "you know where the fridge is, and you know how to cook and eat appropriately because I taught you"?

I am not a parent and never will be, but one thing that I would do, is avoid this power struggle. They will end up resisting just for the sake of resisting like we saw in OP's example.

He literally responded with the fact that his mom did not appreciate swearing, with swearing.

Swear. What is inherently wrong with it? Literally nothing. It shows a lack of intelligence if applied emotionally, like he did. But then you have that conversation with him instead of the "do what I say" conversation.

Show, don't tell.
lol not saying they aren't doing a good job, but at only 11 and 13 there is still plenty of time for sht to go downhill. They have barely entered the teenage years
post 1537029561 12-09-2017, 04:33 PM
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I was the same way when i was a young las. Now 20 years later I wish my pop had me join the Military. I still struggle with self discipline and getting my ish together.
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post 1537029661 12-09-2017, 04:34 PM
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Everyone on misc will say "haha way to show that loser brat" but it isyourkid. You were in charge of raising him so if he is falling down you need to be there to show him how to get up.

How did he become this way? (in before television or video games are blamed for his behavior and not his upbringing).

lol @ 'kids are different today'

Ya kidsnever****ing misbehaved before 2000.
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post 1537029981 12-09-2017, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted By ItsOverBoyos⏩
lol not saying they aren't doing a good job, but at only 11 and 13 there is still plenty of time for sht to go downhill. They have barely entered the teenage years
valid point.
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post 1537030191 12-09-2017, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted By jdmx⏩
"no amount of care, licking, defending, will fix this"

i didn't want to feel these feels.
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post 1537030271 12-09-2017, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
Been a rocky year with a senior in high school. Skips class, been suspended, late for school, lousy grades. Completely being self destructive. Smoking weed, God knows what else. Verbally abusive.

Watched him walk off into the snow. After his mother told him there was no swearing in this house, he told her she was phuking pissin' him off and he hated living here.

Why? Because we told him his girlfriend couldn't come over until after he did some college applications and laundry were done. Kid isn't ready for the future, can't see 30 minutes in front of himself. Tried to have a conversation with him, he started yelling. I asked him to leave and if he didn't I was going to have the police do it.

I regretted it, and wanted to take it back, but he stormed out. Shut his phone service off. Want to be an entitled 18 year old? Ok, be an adult.

Feel terrible, blood pressure skyrocketing, but he's caused all the toxicity in the house. Not willing to fix his chit. Parental guilt. Any sage advice appreciated. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
Well, I think the first step is recognizing the problem.










































The problem is your parental failure in disciplining and motivating him at an early age.

The second to is accept what has happened.

The third is then to salvage (troubleshooting) it all depending on what your goals are.

If you want to salvage the scenario where safety and well being (your son and yours) are the priorities then reach out to the guy after a bit and welcome him back.

If you want to salvage the scenario where your son's manhood is the priority then make sure he is safe but let him make his way.
post 1537030531 12-09-2017, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted By TheRougarou646⏩
No they're not, belive me I know I've got two (ages 20 and 15). Parenting styles are different today. People now-a-days just manage their kids they don't bother actually raising them.
Just go to a restaurant and look at all the kids on their phones instead of participating in dinner--learning proper manners and etiquette. That's just one example.





Stop asking and start teaching them.
What I meant to say was, they have too many stimulants being thrown at them. My kids don't use the phones in a restaurant.

i work from home and was trying to teach him structure in regard to organizing his school work. I wanted him to A. Clean out and organize his backpack so he wouldn't lose papers. B. Look up his school portal to make sure he didn't have any assignments missing. C. Check his school email and Google Classroom on the computer for homework because he refused to write his assignments down.

By day 3, he would start getting agitated and yelling about doing this 5 minute project. Day 4, he'd blow it off. I stopped micromanaging him

He was never a great student. 2.7 but has gone full retard the last year. I'm sure the and God knows what else he's doing is helping
post 1537030551 12-09-2017, 04:44 PM
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OP you sound like an 18 year old yourself with your ****ty parenting yelling and arguments are for children
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post 1537030561 12-09-2017, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted By deft0nes⏩
send him to the army srs

they'll whoop him into shape and teach him discipline
lol no. Just get booted
post 1537030791 12-09-2017, 04:47 PM
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My dad threatened me with this a couple times when I was 18 but never did it. Honestly, I was kind of an ******* at that age but so was my dad. We would just have power struggles bc he would want me to do all this chit and I didn't want to do some stuff based on the principle of him treating me like chit and the way he asked/told me. Each kid needs to be patented differently, my brother needed harsh talk from my dad but I really would have benefitted from more empowerment parenting srs
post 1537031111 12-09-2017, 04:50 PM
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Good job. Keeping him there will only hurt him in the long run.
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post 1537031331 12-09-2017, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted By ScuffedLifter⏩
Entitlement doesn´t fall out of the sky. It grows over the years. U should have been harsher in ur parenting.
this


it's too late now, it's in his hands to reform and it doesn't sound good boyo

there is NOTHING you can say to him that will make him change his ways at this point. NOTHING. he has to want to change now.
post 1537032211 12-09-2017, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
.Feel terrible, blood pressure skyrocketing, but he's caused all the toxicity in the house. Not willing to fix his chit. Parental guilt. Any sage advice appreciated. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
Well that sucks, but end of the day, he's a product of his environment and parenting. How did he get that way? Be honest with yourself. Take ownsership in the behavior he's demonstating, have a serious talk with mom, act accordingly. He's young enough to learn and get his chit together and is suffering angry-young-man syndrome. He will get passed it, but it's gonna be a tough one for a little while. He needs to get set straight to be sure, but your his father, not his friend or pal, so time to break old behaviors (his and yours I suspect....) and write a new chapter with the kid. As big a PITA as he no doubt is, he is a kid on his way to being a man. Mom run the house?

Do it right, and I promise you some day the two of you will look back and LOL over it over a beer, and he'll thank you for being there for him and his dad, but not now. Tell him you love him, will always love him, but you will not tolerate his BS, and you're happy to sit down and talk about it, and maybe get to the bottom of what's really his problem.

But no, do not reward the behavior by enabling it by paying for his phone, etc or all you will have is a monster in a few years.
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post 1537032451 12-09-2017, 05:04 PM
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You should have recognized his behavior much earlier and corrected it
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post 1537032681 12-09-2017, 05:07 PM
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Typical teen being more worried about getting a piece of azz rather than life.

Let him rethink his priorities.
post 1537032791 12-09-2017, 05:08 PM
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Stay positive man. He will come around. I was a pretty big F up at that age (18-22).
post 1537032901 12-09-2017, 05:09 PM
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parents these days do nothing but yell at their kids. there's never a calm simple conversation anymore.

but 17-21 is where kids and ego really spike the chit up so the fault is not solely the parent's

that was a bad move though imo. if my dad kicked me out that's the end of the line for me. i'm not sharing any money, and no favors. i'd still love my dad but the second you push family away, you're abandoning family.
Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
I think the Air Force would be great for him. Learn a trade, take some college credits, learn some structure. Come out a veteran and finish college with a GI bill.

He thinks the house is a hotel, and was kicking pennies under his bed instead of picking them up. I've tried to teach him structure in school and he's unwilling to try.

He always feels the need to put his hand on the stove. You can tell him it's hot, he has to see for himself. He'll be in for a big surprise next September when his girlfriend, who is good for him, is blowing some fraternity brother and he's at home watcihing the Best of August Ames on xhamster
that's fuked up u talk about ur son like that

you should know that relationships at that age are a big deal to teens...

like everything is a big deal to teens. but relationships and society are like what your world revolves around as a teenager. and a teenager to me is literally thirteen to nineteen. you're not an adult at 18 just because the law says you are. and people don't automatically "mature" and "get life" when they become an adult. everyone learns by mistakes, and it takes time and experience to understand these things.
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post 1537033131 12-09-2017, 05:11 PM
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edit - posted in wrong thread. ayyyyy sorry OP u didnt raise a current CEO 10k.day
^ this is a long thin black line
post 1537033151 12-09-2017, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted By MiscInformed⏩
March him down to the US Marine Corps recruiting center and tell him he has a choice to make... live under your roof by your rules or start fending for himself. A stint in the Marines will knock that chip off his shoulder and help him pay for school when he gets out.
All the douchebags I knew going into the military were still douchebags when they left.
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post 1537033901 12-09-2017, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted By Fuqdatass⏩
Just let him bang bro

Also strong parenting kicking him out into a snowstorm and shutting off his phone

You're gonna feel dumb when they find his frozen corpse
I guess this is the part where you forget OP's son is an adult.

If your adult son wants to try and act like a man he thinks he is, let him have a cold taste of real tea so he could:

A. make something of himself once he realized how the world doesn't give 2 chits about him
B. crawl back home and accepts your role as the man of the house and follow to your rules
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post 1537033911 12-09-2017, 05:20 PM
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Did you have the power of the poosy talk with him?

He basically had a tantrum because you delayed his booty.
post 1537043431 12-09-2017, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted By NuggzTheNinja⏩
All the douchebags I knew going into the military were still douchebags when they left.
But better trained D bags!
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post 1537043701 12-09-2017, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted By AlBHappy⏩
Been a rocky year with a senior in high school. Skips class, been suspended, late for school, lousy grades. Completely being self destructive. Smoking weed, God knows what else. Verbally abusive.

Watched him walk off into the snow. After his mother told him there was no swearing in this house, he told her she was phuking pissin' him off and he hated living here.

Why? Because we told him his girlfriend couldn't come over until after he did some college applications and laundry were done. Kid isn't ready for the future, can't see 30 minutes in front of himself. Tried to have a conversation with him, he started yelling. I asked him to leave and if he didn't I was going to have the police do it.

I regretted it, and wanted to take it back, but he stormed out. Shut his phone service off. Want to be an entitled 18 year old? Ok, be an adult.

Feel terrible, blood pressure skyrocketing, but he's caused all the toxicity in the house. Not willing to fix his chit. Parental guilt. Any sage advice appreciated. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
You were a sht parent, that's why you have a child like that 100% srs.
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