lol.

ouch.

100% agree. My parents are semi-illiterate foreigners so some things were easy to hide about school. they gave me space for the most part but intervened when they thought they should which never really helped. i always hated school and never did my HW but did really well on my tests. My room was my school, learned everything i know on my computer and saw school as kind of a forum for topics to spark my interest. then instead of listening to a dumfuk teacher read from a book she doesn't understand i would study on my own. I am also lucky enough to have a middle eastern mom who did my laundry and washed my dishes but that wasn't because she wanted to coddle me. these are things she does for the family and she made sure we knew how to do it if we needed to do it without her, but i always made my own meals since i was 10(threatening someone to finish their plate with hits makes the kid puke at the sight of food eventually) because i couldn't stand the afghan chit they made. Before i moved out it got to the point where literally the only "use" i had for my mom was to clean my clothes and dishes, and my dad was in charge of the bulk groceries(beef, bread chicken, cheese) since he had the membership and i literally used the house to cook and sleep. we had a decent relationship and i'm happy the way things turned out. an example of the Independence my dad instilled on me; instead of paying 5k for a dealer to replace my engine i rented a storage unit, bought a 1k POS truck to drive and pickup used engine, got AAA and towed my car, and proceeded to lottle by little rip apart the car and somehow it all worked out, I'VE NEVER EVEN DONE A FLUSH!! i mean ive changed my brakes and oil and minor stuff like that but im by no means a mechanic. my dad didnt tell me but showed me through poverty that anything can be done if you plan it out properly and use your head every step of the way.

im 27 right now and i still talk to my parents with any big decisions i have

its weird that most people just forget about their kids or parents when they hit a cetain age

i always questioned my parents when i was younger and the older i get the more i realise they were always right

He can't be helped, he has to help himself.

Good luck on your parenting goals for 2018.

Idiot he is just going to resent you for it for very long time no wonder he turn out like that.
This is 1/10 parenting skills
How about you start removing his Qualities of life instead of straight out kicking him out of the house?
No video games, no Money so he cant get smoke
etc you only feed him and give him place to stay until he change his life for the better
kicking him out of the house will accomplish nothing in this scenario

First you have to admit to yourself that he is not 100% of the problem. Then you need to seek professional help. You're not going to fix this alone. Ask yourself, How would you feel if you got a call tonight saying your son was murdered in the street? It happens

So much cope itt from people whose parents didn’t raise them right and who had to figure it out on their own.

Guess what my parents kicked me out at 18 too. I had to hit rock bottom, almost die from drug overdoses, pull my chit together, and make it in life as well.

I love my parents, I respect the hard work and caring loving way they raised me, the values that I have now are results of them being present during my upbringing. But after a lot of discussion with my wife, we recognize where certain behaviors develop as a result of certain parenting styles, where saying “oh that’s just how the kid is, he needs to go figure it out” is akin to giving up on them. Where it’s time to listen and mold around the kids character, find new ways of reaching and talking. Never ever give up, if somthing isn’t working with the parenting style you change it. Results are what matter, not sticking to your guns as “this is how I’m raising my kid”. Every child is different and may needs different types of guidance to succeed. Not all good techniques are good techniques for specific individuals. It’s your job as the parent to figure out what your child needs.


The fact is you ARE responsible as the parent for how the child turns out. You are the one with the power to alter every single aspect, where he goes to school, what programs he does, what responsibilities he has, how he is rewarded, how he is punished, what he learns, what his values are... the list goes on and on. Their are a millions right ways to set things up and a million wrong ways. It’s YOUR JOB AS THE CHILDS PARENT TO FIND THE RIGHT PATH. And if the path ends up being “**** it, you need to go get kicked In the ass by the world by yourself now, sink or swim time on your own terms” you did not do the best job in getting your child ready to be on his own.

I love my parents, I appreciate everything they tried to do for me. But there is no way I’m letting my child have to face reality in the way I had to because I wasn’t able to help him become the man he needs to be before it’s time for him to face the world.

there's always one of these cringey *******s in every thread

First I want to thank all of those who empathized with my plight and offered some advice, you guys are great and I appreciate the support. I come on here, for some good laughs, banter and to learn. So to my virtual friends thank you.

To all of those who said I was a chit parent, I chuckled at the attempts to rustle my jimmies. Good stuff, I know how I am as a parent and it was expected. A special tip of the cap to Duckliver for lifting up my self esteem in the Yule season.

Update, walked to a buddy's house, stayed there. Guy was at work, no one could find my son. His girlfriend was freaking out. He ended up staying at the girlfriend's house. Picked him up for work this morning, bought him a coffee and we talked. Told him I loved him and that i want to understand what he wants from us. Someone mentioned a battle of egos, and when i went to bed last night. That was in my head.

He'll be home for dinner and his girlfriend's coming over. I don't know whether he's staying here, but things are simmering down.

You're going to learn the fire of youth is up your boys ass and it will beat yours in the long run.

Looks like he won lol
Let him bang his girl in your house already
If the movies are in anyway true you'll find her in the kitchen while he's asleep and she'll start giving you a bj

Its weird OP but he thinks just like you.

let him smash on your bed

Fukc that little *******....you did the right thing.

I guess what is tough is that in some circumstances, some people's kids would really f up and get into situations like you just described. What is important is to keep in touch and not hold grudges/take actions to from a "battle of the egos" perspective, as somebody pointed out.

One of my good friends from hs has really rich parents, had a nice college fund, his parents helped him invest his money wisely, his parents hooked him up with jobs in hs, etc etc...

And he has a bad relationship with his parents. He doesn't have a career or any goals or anything like that going for him. Which is fine, whatever, but he is not happy. Sucks because he's actually a smart guy, but takes this victim stance when in reality, he has got all the opportunity in the world to lead a positive life.

OP you sound ridiculously controlling. I had parents that were just like you. They controlled almost every aspect of my life. They tried their hardest to prevent me from ever experiencing failure, which was wrong of them. People need to experience failure to grow. Also, it never felt like they trusted me to do things on my own. Everytime I'd try to do something, they'd swoop in and try to do it for me. This subcommunicated to me that they do not trust me, and that they do not think I can do anything on my own. It was phucking horrible parenting. The most I've learned from them is what not to do as a parent.

It sounds like you need to trust your kid more. Stop making or forcing him to do things, and let him make his own decisions. You mentioned you were forcing him to organize his backpack and accessing his school website? What the ****? I am almost positive your son wants to scream, "BACK THE **** OFF. THIS IS MY LIFE," at you. Let him be responsible for his own life.

In this case, he's an adult to this is water under the bridge.

Nevertheless, this and many of the other sentiments presented here are food for thought for all you fathers of young kids, adolescents, and would be fathers. I sincerely hope all of you are taking notes.More likely prostitution. Which is the result of most kids and young adults that are forced out of the home prematurely.That's just it, this is 2017, you don't have to do it all on your own. We passed that stage a long time ago. If it ever existed.Lucky you, you manged to survive, but not all young adults are that resourceful.
This, or talk to a profession that's trained and educated in the field.
There is still plenty of time for all that.That's good to hear, the problem is solved -- for now. However, it is not solved in the long run. He's still under your roof which means there are still rules and responsibilities he must learn to adhere to and follow.

There are rules in every household and everyone needs to acknowledge and respect that. You are still the head of the household and you get the final say. However, that doesn't mean your son can't participate and contribute in household decisions. He needs to have responsibilities, but also to be treated like an adult.

Now is the time for you (and your wife) to admit reality and seek professional help. In cases like these you CANNOT do it alone and need a thirdunbiased partyto mitigate the discussion and make viable suggestions for what happens from here on. Now is your opportunity to do something and prove you are being the great father that you say you are. Good luck.

a tradie was born

Hahaha

Terrible advise

Urine idiot. Shut up

And yet you have 1000 posts on the misc.

Looks like ur parents failed after all




*******