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What do you think it feels like for a woman that turns 30?
01-01-2018, 07:25 AM
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#181
- wildchild11
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strong aggressiveness in here lmao. What do you think the older women itt are gonna say..."i was pumped and dumped by hot guys and now I drink wine and cry myself to sleep"
Sure, women lose glow as they get older, and are unhappy when they are single and older. But people find contentment. lot of posters ITT are trying to have these female posters openly break down lmao.
on the other hand...I'm close to 30 now and I'd defintely want to be a man during this decade
Sure, women lose glow as they get older, and are unhappy when they are single and older. But people find contentment. lot of posters ITT are trying to have these female posters openly break down lmao.
on the other hand...I'm close to 30 now and I'd defintely want to be a man during this decade
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01-01-2018, 07:49 AM
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#182
Originally Posted By wildchild11⏩
Of course they want a female breakdown, or some kind of admission that life eventually becomes as poor as they wish it to be out of hatred or spite because that would make their victimhood justifiablestrong aggressiveness in here lmao. What do you think the older women itt are gonna say..."i was pumped and dumped by hot guys and now I drink wine and cry myself to sleep"
Sure, women lose glow as they get older, and are unhappy when they are single and older. But people find contentment. lot of posters ITT are trying to have these female posters openly break down lmao.
on the other hand...I'm close to 30 now and I'd defintely want to be a man during this decade
Sure, women lose glow as they get older, and are unhappy when they are single and older. But people find contentment. lot of posters ITT are trying to have these female posters openly break down lmao.
on the other hand...I'm close to 30 now and I'd defintely want to be a man during this decade
Also not sure why you’d prefer to be male heading into 30s? 30s are GOAT for anybody who has their life in order and is heading into a new phase ..generally career, home, family building ...experiencing new things and consolidating your place in society as a mature and worthwhile adult
It’s only sad for those who are clinging on to some type of school or college memories and yearning for a party lifestyle. Partying is fun enough ..you should live those years with hedonistic glee but it is just as fun to move on from and have more
01-01-2018, 07:57 AM
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#183
Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
Well I think it's good to look into both genders ideas on dating. I've read most of Mark Mansons (sp?) articles and he's mainly talking from the guys point of view. Have you read his stuff? It's really pretty good. This article in particular holds very true for me.https://markmanson.net/****-yesI have an obsessive personality (when it comes to researching outlier thought and culture), and at the time I was looking into non-mainstream advice on dating. I wanted to see the female side.
I don't know you personally, so your intuition could be very accurate but that's a very common sentiment from unhappily unmarried women, according to the book.
The basic advise she gives is to be more traditional, meaning... Having the belief that connection can develop over time. The modern belief is that strong feelings (eg. strong attraction, the 'spark', 'chemistry', etc), needs to be established from the first meeting/date. The idea that it's 'inauthentic' if it develops over time.
Not directly related, but IMO a brilliant break down of how toxic movies and TV shows are for our dating culture...
I don't know about you, because I don't know you but... Very pretty women in their 20s who can't find a decent guy? I'd bet money they are looking for Christian Grey and not just a decent guy. Very pretty women in their 20s have an abundance of men wanting to date them, and if they can't find a single decent guy from that abundance, whereas friends, family and coworkers are happily married or have started a family, then I would be skeptical that they have reasonable standards.
You're just being stubborn.
I don't know you personally, so your intuition could be very accurate but that's a very common sentiment from unhappily unmarried women, according to the book.
The basic advise she gives is to be more traditional, meaning... Having the belief that connection can develop over time. The modern belief is that strong feelings (eg. strong attraction, the 'spark', 'chemistry', etc), needs to be established from the first meeting/date. The idea that it's 'inauthentic' if it develops over time.
Not directly related, but IMO a brilliant break down of how toxic movies and TV shows are for our dating culture...
I don't know about you, because I don't know you but... Very pretty women in their 20s who can't find a decent guy? I'd bet money they are looking for Christian Grey and not just a decent guy. Very pretty women in their 20s have an abundance of men wanting to date them, and if they can't find a single decent guy from that abundance, whereas friends, family and coworkers are happily married or have started a family, then I would be skeptical that they have reasonable standards.
You're just being stubborn.
I do know that connection can develop over time. But truly, are you saying I should continue to date someone that I feel absolutely no attraction to whatsoever? That would be using someone and I can't do that to someone. I have had guys give me a hard time after a couple dates when I say I'm not interested. It makes me feel really bad. I'm not a mean person and I guess I kinda go the other way to avoid that as much as possible. I am not looking for "strong" attraction. I'm looking forsomeattraction. Like I said, it has to be both physical and mental. I've met guys that are super hot but no mental spark, so a no go for me.
The girls I am talking about are not insta sloots. They're not little skanks looking to jump into bed with every guy they meet. They are naturally pretty, nice girls. I don't know what to tell you. There are not all these guys out there looking to truly date. They're looking for hook ups. This is the dating culture nowadays.
Well I am stubborn, sooooo........ lol
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
See above what I said. I'm not looking for fireworks on the first date. It's not like I have never given anyone a chance. That's not what I'm saying at all. I know that connection can grow, but truly, if there is NO connection why would I waste his time and mine? I'm just not interested in doing that.Attraction on first meeting is simply lust
Attraction can indeed grow over time where there was none. What? You’ve never seen Beauty and the Beast or read any traditional fairy tale romance?
Leggz I find it odd that any woman, least of all woman of your experience would consign people to the no relationship pile because of lack of instant attraction ...knowing full well that attraction can also be directly proportional to the amount of alcohol you’ve drunk or the situation or your hormonal or emotional state
Also Beta...not sure why you’re continually holding up Christian Grey as some kind of women’s ideal? He’s a really poorly written one dimensional character who didn’t even make for a decent Dominant ...he’s just a Mills & Boon rich man good looking crappy Mr Darcy character
Attraction can indeed grow over time where there was none. What? You’ve never seen Beauty and the Beast or read any traditional fairy tale romance?
Leggz I find it odd that any woman, least of all woman of your experience would consign people to the no relationship pile because of lack of instant attraction ...knowing full well that attraction can also be directly proportional to the amount of alcohol you’ve drunk or the situation or your hormonal or emotional state
Also Beta...not sure why you’re continually holding up Christian Grey as some kind of women’s ideal? He’s a really poorly written one dimensional character who didn’t even make for a decent Dominant ...he’s just a Mills & Boon rich man good looking crappy Mr Darcy character
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Agreed! I could barely get through the first book it was so bad! I have the 2nd but have never been able to make myself read it. lolDon’t ..lol...I downloaded one on holiday once to see what the fuss was about and it was embarrassing to think an adult with that level of literary talent could make money from writing such crap
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01-01-2018, 08:01 AM
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#184
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Bingo to the bold! I got my partying out in my early-mid 20's and then some after divorce. I'm over it. Being 48 is not a problem for me. I'm healthy, I take care of myself and I look pretty damn good for an old lady. i'm not trying to be 25 or look 25. I think that's what these guys can't understand.Of course they want a female breakdown, or some kind of admission that life eventually becomes as poor as they wish it to be out of hatred or spite because that would make their victimhood justifiable
Also not sure why you’d prefer to be male heading into 30s? 30s are GOAT for anybody who has their life in order and is heading into a new phase ..generally career, home, family building ...experiencing new things and consolidating your place in society as a mature and worthwhile adult
It’s only sad for those who are clinging on to some type of school or college memories and yearning for a party lifestyle. Partying is fun enough ..you should live those years with hedonistic glee but it is just as fun to move on from and have more
Also not sure why you’d prefer to be male heading into 30s? 30s are GOAT for anybody who has their life in order and is heading into a new phase ..generally career, home, family building ...experiencing new things and consolidating your place in society as a mature and worthwhile adult
It’s only sad for those who are clinging on to some type of school or college memories and yearning for a party lifestyle. Partying is fun enough ..you should live those years with hedonistic glee but it is just as fun to move on from and have more
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01-01-2018, 08:07 AM
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#185
- DoYouEvenNEM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Isn't it just a variance of Stockholm Syndrome?Of course they want a female breakdown, or some kind of admission that life eventually becomes as poor as they wish it to be out of hatred or spite because that would make their victimhood justifiable
Also not sure why you’d prefer to be male heading into 30s? 30s are GOAT for anybody who has their life in order and is heading into a new phase ..generally career, home, family building ...experiencing new things and consolidating your place in society as a mature and worthwhile adult
It’s only sad for those who are clinging on to some type of school or college memories and yearning for a party lifestyle. Partying is fun enough ..you should live those years with hedonistic glee but it is just as fun to move on from and have more
Also not sure why you’d prefer to be male heading into 30s? 30s are GOAT for anybody who has their life in order and is heading into a new phase ..generally career, home, family building ...experiencing new things and consolidating your place in society as a mature and worthwhile adult
It’s only sad for those who are clinging on to some type of school or college memories and yearning for a party lifestyle. Partying is fun enough ..you should live those years with hedonistic glee but it is just as fun to move on from and have more
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked. Women in those ages are just cranky about everything. Source: old geezer me.
01-01-2018, 08:12 AM
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#186
Originally Posted By DoYouEvenNEM⏩
I'm not cranky about everything! You know what makes me cranky? Old geezer guys trying to speak for women.Isn't it just a variance of Stockholm Syndrome?
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked.Women in those ages are just cranky about everything.Source: old geezer me.
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked.Women in those ages are just cranky about everything.Source: old geezer me.
lolz
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01-01-2018, 08:16 AM
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#187
Originally Posted By DoYouEvenNEM⏩
Did you mean Stockholm syndrome? Do you believe people become hostages to age?Isn't it just a variance of Stockholm Syndrome?
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked. Women in those ages are just cranky about everything. Source: old geezer me.
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked. Women in those ages are just cranky about everything. Source: old geezer me.
Perhaps it’s just don’t bich about the inevitable and find pleasure and joy where you are
All I know is living in either the past or the future is a sure way to miss out on your entire life
01-01-2018, 08:26 AM
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#188
Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
This was funny!Not directly related, but IMO a brilliant break down of how toxic movies and TV shows are for our dating culture...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMsp9O0E_jE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMsp9O0E_jE
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01-01-2018, 08:27 AM
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#189
Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
IMO the lack of that "connection developing over time" thing has a bit to do with how isolated we've become in general. After school most of us don't have a lot of repeated regular contact with potential partners. And even school has become a less cohesive experience...from one room schools, to modern class rooms divided by grade, to some very very large schools in cities. My father remained in friendly contact with high school friends his entire life. I think his high school was maybe a couple hundred students. Same high school as I went to, but when I attended the school was about 1,000 students across 3 grades.The basic advise she gives is to be more traditional, meaning... Having the belief that connection can develop over time. The modern belief is that strong feelings (eg. strong attraction, the 'spark', 'chemistry', etc), needs to be established from the first meeting/date. The idea that it's 'inauthentic' if it develops over time.
*********
I don't know about you, because I don't know you but... Very pretty women in their 20s who can't find a decent guy? I'd bet money they are looking for Christian Grey and not just a decent guy. Very pretty women in their 20s have an abundance of men wanting to date them, and if they can't find a single decent guy from that abundance, whereas friends, family and coworkers are happily married or have started a family, then I would be skeptical that they have reasonable standards.
*********
I don't know about you, because I don't know you but... Very pretty women in their 20s who can't find a decent guy? I'd bet money they are looking for Christian Grey and not just a decent guy. Very pretty women in their 20s have an abundance of men wanting to date them, and if they can't find a single decent guy from that abundance, whereas friends, family and coworkers are happily married or have started a family, then I would be skeptical that they have reasonable standards.
Or, IOW, you have to spend time with someone for that to develop and it doesn't happen naturally as much anymore.
On that second one, have you been on the misc?
Seems like people have gone from "let's date, spend some time together, see how it goes" to "let's smash, if that's fun then maybe I will take you to a movie, or out for dinner".
And, don't forget the seemingly broad swath of "no kids" and "never get married" guys.
Don't expect to ever be in another relationship. Will probably tell my daughter to plan on always taking care of herself/never depend on a man.
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01-01-2018, 08:42 AM
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#190
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01-01-2018, 08:49 AM
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#191
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
^^^^ You and Katya get it. What you said here is spot on.Yes was just going to write something like that. I think an unexpected romantic connection can grow with someone who is already in your life in another context and you already spend time together as friends or colleagues etc. Just the initial context was not romantic so you didn't interact in that way initially but it grew into something more from spending time together.
Very different from dating someone new where your initial meeting is already in a romantic context where you initially already look at someone to decide if you want to date. In that context you'd have to lead someone on for many dates or become just "friends" to spend enough time together to possibly form a connection. And who wants to spend so much time with someone they are not attracted to at all?
As to "fireworks" I think that means both physical attraction and mental/emotional connection/chemistry. It can exist on the first date but it's very rare. I've experienced it but I'm fine without that.
For me physical attraction is enough for a second date, just need enough attraction where I feel like I want to spend time with that person and the thought of touching them like hugging them or kissing them seems nice.
Very different from dating someone new where your initial meeting is already in a romantic context where you initially already look at someone to decide if you want to date. In that context you'd have to lead someone on for many dates or become just "friends" to spend enough time together to possibly form a connection. And who wants to spend so much time with someone they are not attracted to at all?
As to "fireworks" I think that means both physical attraction and mental/emotional connection/chemistry. It can exist on the first date but it's very rare. I've experienced it but I'm fine without that.
For me physical attraction is enough for a second date, just need enough attraction where I feel like I want to spend time with that person and the thought of touching them like hugging them or kissing them seems nice.
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01-01-2018, 09:05 AM
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#192
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heres my 2 cents:
a female who takes care of herself, mentally and physically during her 20's should have no fear of her 30's. however, this is obviously not the case for many young women.
a previous fwb is going thru this phase, fortunatly she is only 24 but up to now she has been party hard and slooting it up. recently ive been seeing her frequently at the gym. sounded like she was trying to cut back (lol)
a female who takes care of herself, mentally and physically during her 20's should have no fear of her 30's. however, this is obviously not the case for many young women.
a previous fwb is going thru this phase, fortunatly she is only 24 but up to now she has been party hard and slooting it up. recently ive been seeing her frequently at the gym. sounded like she was trying to cut back (lol)
be the turtle in the race.
01-01-2018, 09:14 AM
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#193
Originally Posted By Cadet4life⏩
Why is that something to laugh about when a man doing the same thing, making a conscious decision to change and improve, is admirable?heres my 2 cents:
a female who takes care of herself, mentally and physically during her 20's should have no fear of her 30's. however, this is obviously not the case for many young women.
a previous fwb is going thru this phase, fortunatly she is only 24 but up to now she has been party hard and slooting it up. recently ive been seeing her frequently at the gym. sounded like she was trying to cut back (lol)
a female who takes care of herself, mentally and physically during her 20's should have no fear of her 30's. however, this is obviously not the case for many young women.
a previous fwb is going thru this phase, fortunatly she is only 24 but up to now she has been party hard and slooting it up. recently ive been seeing her frequently at the gym. sounded like she was trying to cut back (lol)
It’s the hatred between genders that needs fixing
01-01-2018, 09:23 AM
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#194
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This thread is still going on?
When a bunch of misc. 20-somethings talk about aging, it's typically nothing but a collection of the world's stupidest opinions.
When a bunch of misc. 20-somethings talk about aging, it's typically nothing but a collection of the world's stupidest opinions.
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01-01-2018, 09:36 AM
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#195
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Originally Posted By VoxExMachina⏩
It's almost entirely redpill incels, no avis, and reds too, sad! Most haven't been touched by a woman they didn't pay for since they turned 18 and stopped seeing Fat Becky from the special ed class after they graduated high school.This thread is still going on?
When a bunch of misc. 20-somethings talk about aging, it's typically nothing but a collection of the world's stupidest opinions.
When a bunch of misc. 20-somethings talk about aging, it's typically nothing but a collection of the world's stupidest opinions.
Cope to the max ITT.
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01-01-2018, 09:38 AM
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#196
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Originally Posted By DoYouEvenNEM⏩
He didn't even mention trade skills, a chiropractor isn't a tradie. Do you think you're intelligent as you try to be condescending yet are an utter moron with some holy than thou act. You sound like a FA basement dweller that might have visited other countries but I will put down ten to one odds that you couldn't get laid in a hore house with a $100 bill hanging out your zipper.Lol at a tradie making $200K. Gross revenue of a self-employed tradesmen =/= net profit or spending money.
That tradie was probably making a strong $80,000 after he paid for licenses, tools, permits, supplies and other things. Then taxes. That old 20s woman is probably a Walmart worker or something.
That tradie was probably making a strong $80,000 after he paid for licenses, tools, permits, supplies and other things. Then taxes. That old 20s woman is probably a Walmart worker or something.
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01-01-2018, 09:40 AM
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#197
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Originally Posted By DoYouEvenNEM⏩
So you're trying to say that the only way a woman can be happy in her 30s, is if she's married with children?Isn't it just a variance of Stockholm Syndrome?
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked. Women in those ages are just cranky about everything. Source: old geezer me.
No one introspectively looks at themselves in the 3rd person and goes: "I miss being pounded by Chads". But if they could then they would probably do that and realize how chit their life became after losing glow and then hitting the wall around 35 - 45.
Usually is a guy is unhappy in his 30s - 40s then it's either from unemployment or being overworked. Women in those ages are just cranky about everything. Source: old geezer me.
01-01-2018, 09:45 AM
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#198
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Originally Posted By Cadet4life⏩
Yes, that sounds like both sexes though. It's easy to party in your early 20s. ****, I could get drunk, and the next morning, I would hit up panera bread, get a soup and sandwich, and my hangover would be cured. That remedy stops, the older you get. I therefore stopped, because I couldn't handle the hangovers.heres my 2 cents:
a female who takes care of herself, mentally and physically during her 20's should have no fear of her 30's. however, this is obviously not the case for many young women.
a previous fwb is going thru this phase, fortunatly she is only 24 but up to now she has been party hard and slooting it up. recently ive been seeing her frequently at the gym. sounded like she was trying to cut back (lol)
a female who takes care of herself, mentally and physically during her 20's should have no fear of her 30's. however, this is obviously not the case for many young women.
a previous fwb is going thru this phase, fortunatly she is only 24 but up to now she has been party hard and slooting it up. recently ive been seeing her frequently at the gym. sounded like she was trying to cut back (lol)
01-01-2018, 09:53 AM
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#199
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Originally Posted By meenman83⏩
I can definitely relate to this. I normally date women near my own age, but last year I met a gorgeous 21 y/o. The more I got to know her the more I realized that I have no business being with a woman that young. I just couldn't connect or have any sort of meaningful conversation with her. Everything she said and every decision she made I saw as incredibly immature and I was surprised she was even allowed to be alone in society without supervision.Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with a 18-25 year olds brah
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01-01-2018, 10:00 AM
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#200
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Pshhh marriage is just a short phase in the modern woman's life. 27-33. They just have to tough it out a few years and it'll be normal to be single again, plus they'll have the advantage of no kids.
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you got to pick 'em up just to say hello.
01-01-2018, 10:11 AM
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#201
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Originally Posted By LisaSkinnoble⏩
Canada allows 17 year olds to be teachers?Turning 30 didn't bother me a bit. Turning 25 did. I was married, but only a few years into my career. When my mother turned 25, she had 4 children and had been teaching for 8 years already. Seriously.
I had my son at 31,
Honestly, not a single birthday has bothered me since that gloomy 25th. 40 was awesome, 50 was too. I'm staring down the barrel of fiddy-tree in January and still having a grand time!
I had my son at 31,
Honestly, not a single birthday has bothered me since that gloomy 25th. 40 was awesome, 50 was too. I'm staring down the barrel of fiddy-tree in January and still having a grand time!
A million miles away - I don't.. feel.... anything.
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01-01-2018, 10:23 AM
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#202
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Originally Posted By seanb1979⏩
Excellent question. Back then (mid 1950s), after high school a 6-week college programme was all it took to become a teacher. Her birthday is October, so that first September she was still 17, and teaching Grade 8 students.Canada allows 17 year olds to be teachers?
She married the following June, and had babies back-to-back. But when she was in her late 30s, she went back to university and, while still teaching full-time and raising 5 daughters (4 of whom were teenagers), she got her B.Sc.
She's a tough act to follow. Formidable.
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01-01-2018, 10:28 AM
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#203
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I've noticed it as well - it's not 100% but a definite trend. It's probably because both men and women gauge a woman's worth based on her role as a wife/girlfriend/mother more than anything else, and a man's worth is judged on his ability to provide, which typically goes up with age. So many single men who make good money still have that sense of self worth because they know they are valuable and still have what people want, whereas older women feel it slipping away if they haven't fulfilled any of those societal roles. It's no one single person's fault, it's simply how we have evolved as a society. And of course there are always outliers.I'm not cranky about everything! You know what makes me cranky? Old geezer guys trying to speak for women.
lolz
lolz
A million miles away - I don't.. feel.... anything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXGZu4yxjW0
01-01-2018, 10:30 AM
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#204
- Silencespeaks
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- Silencespeaks
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01-01-2018, 10:42 AM
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#205
Originally Posted By VoxExMachina⏩
So much truth! lolThis thread is still going on?
When a bunch of misc. 20-somethings talk about aging, it's typically nothing but a collection of the world's stupidest opinions.
When a bunch of misc. 20-somethings talk about aging, it's typically nothing but a collection of the world's stupidest opinions.
Originally Posted By meenman83⏩
Rekt!He didn't even mention trade skills, a chiropractor isn't a tradie. Do you think you're intelligent as you try to be condescending yet are an utter moron with some holy than thou act. You sound like a FA basement dweller that might have visited other countries but I will put down ten to one odds that you couldn't get laid in a hore house with a $100 bill hanging out your zipper.
Originally Posted By 6-SPEED⏩
I legit guffawed at the bold. Having been a 21 year old female, I can say for certain it's true. lol I wouldn't go back to my 20's if you freaking paid me.I can definitely relate to this. I normally date women near my own age, but last year I met a gorgeous 21 y/o. The more I got to know her the more I realized that I have no business being with a woman that young. I just couldn't connect or have any sort of meaningful conversation with her. Everything she said and every decision she made I saw as incredibly immature andI was surprised she was even allowed to be alone in society without supervision.
Originally Posted By seanb1979⏩
Do you mean they feel it slipping away if they haven't been married or have had children? Because I don't see my value as having slipped away just because I'm older. I have a chit ton to offer even though I'm 48 years old.I've noticed it as well - it's not 100% but a definite trend. It's probably because both men and women gauge a woman's worth based on her role as a wife/girlfriend/mother more than anything else, and a man's worth is judged on his ability to provide, which typically goes up with age. So many single men who make good money still have that sense of self worth because they know they are valuable and still have what people want, whereas older women feel it slipping away if they haven't fulfilled any of those societal roles. It's no one single person's fault, it's simply how we have evolved as a society. And of course there are always outliers.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
01-01-2018, 11:00 AM
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#206
- BetaAsPhuck
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Yeah, I read his article on dating (I haven't read his blog in maybe over a year though), and I read his book; Models. I found him incredibly insightful when he said that he believes what passes for flirting and 'game' in the west toxic, because it's comprised of 'testing'/phucking with each other's self esteem through passive aggression, or wanting the person to be unsure if you are attracted to them or not.Well I think it's good to look into both genders ideas on dating. I've read most of Mark Mansons (sp?) articles and he's mainly talking from the guys point of view. Have you read his stuff? It's really pretty good. This article in particular holds very true for me.https://markmanson.net/****-yes
I do know that connection can develop over time. But truly, are you saying I should continue to date someone that I feel absolutely no attraction to whatsoever? That would be using someone and I can't do that to someone.I have had guys give me a hard time after a couple dates when I say I'm not interested. It makes me feel really bad. I'm not a mean person and I guess I kinda go the other way to avoid that as much as possible.
From what you are writing, you seem like you felt guilty when they responded with frustration or disappointment when you said you weren't interested. So I can understand why you don't want to repeat those experiences.The girls I am talking about are not insta sloots. They're not little skanks looking to jump into bed with every guy they meet.They are naturally pretty, nice girls. I don't know what to tell you. There are not all these guys out there looking to truly date. They're looking for hook ups. This is the dating culture nowadays.
That didn't even cross my mind, I assumed that they are 'normal' girls, who if very pretty would have men who want to date them in any walk of life; (works, social circle, bars, online dating, social hobbies, etc).I met my ex-partners through work, we would speak regularly and mutual attraction grew. We knew we were mentally and physically attracted to one another before we went on our first date. I've heard things like workshops, classes, etc, are great ways to meet potential partners for similar reasons, due to the lack of 'pressure'.
See above what I said. I'm not looking for fireworks on the first date. It's not like I have never given anyone a chance. That's not what I'm saying at all. I know that connection can grow, but truly, if there is NO connection why would I waste his time and mine? I'm just not interested in doing that.
Fair enough.If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621
The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851
Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
01-01-2018, 11:00 AM
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#207
- seanb1979
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Well you're a female on the misc, you are already outside traditional roles. I know so many women who desperately seek the marriage/kids thing, and I get it. It's biological and also it shows society 'hey look I did what I was supposed to do!' I've never been a big fan of doing things for that reason either so I can empathize when women want their own path. I'm just saying what I've noticed with the majority of people (I probably have a lot more dating experience than most since I've been an unapologetic manwhore most of my life.) I'd much rather have all of my experiences than be tied down in some boring domesticated life like a lot of my friends are, but their lives suit them and mine suits me.Do you mean they feel it slipping away if they haven't been married or have had children? Because I don't see my value as having slipped away just because I'm older. I have a chit ton to offer even though I'm 48 years old.
A million miles away - I don't.. feel.... anything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXGZu4yxjW0
01-01-2018, 11:11 AM
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#208
- BetaAsPhuck
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
I think that's a great point, about the increased atomization in western society. (I've actually come to the conclusion that it isn't healthy for us as a species to exist in dense populations.)IMO the lack of that "connection developing over time" thing has a bit to do with how isolated we've become in general. After school most of us don't have a lot of repeated regular contact with potential partners. And even school has become a less cohesive experience...from one room schools, to modern class rooms divided by grade, to some very very large schools in cities. My father remained in friendly contact with high school friends his entire life. I think his high school was maybe a couple hundred students. Same high school as I went to, but when I attended the school was about 1,000 students across 3 grades.
On that second one, have you been on the misc?
Seems like people have gone from "let's date, spend some time together, see how it goes" to "let's smash, if that's fun then maybe I will take you to a movie, or out for dinner".
And, don't forget the seemingly broad swath of "no kids" and "never get married" guys.
I don't think that the misc is an accurate reflection of how the average dude thinks. The misc seems to be largely comprised of deeply introverted and significantly emotionally damaged males (I'm not talking like I'm an exception, to any offended brahs).Seems like people have gone from "let's date, spend some time together, see how it goes" to "let's smash, if that's fun then maybe I will take you to a movie, or out for dinner".
And, don't forget the seemingly broad swath of "no kids" and "never get married" guys.
Though you are in the US, and I have heard from some people from different walks of life who have become ex-pats or travel a lot, that dating in the US is worse than any other country on the planet. It actually surprises me how many men I've come across over the years (from different races) who say how much easier and more pleasant it is to date outside the US. I've seen American women complaining (like you and Legz) too, but I haven't seen as many ex-pat women express surprise about how much better dating is outside the US.
Don't expect to ever be in another relationship. Will probably tell my daughter to plan on always taking care of herself/never depend on a man.
Or tell your daughter to consider looking for a foreign brah? :-)If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621
The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851
Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
01-01-2018, 11:17 AM
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#209
- VoxExMachina
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☠ By reading this post, you have agreed to my negative reputation terms of service.
01-01-2018, 03:41 PM
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#210
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Oh, sorry. Meant to and then forgot. Well lets see, the one guy was a 48 yr old (at that time a year older than me) frat boy looking for a sugar mama. Srs! His girlfriend is some older woman with lots of money and not attractive at all. My friend who is friends with him on FB showed me pics and I was just like LMAO. The other one was a couple years older than me and wanted drama or something. We only dated for a few weeks and he'd constantly talk about his ex's wanting him back and other weird stuff like he was trying to make me jealous. I was like dude, nope! I don't do drama so that was that. Oh, another one was about 3 years younger than me, he got crazy mean because after we kinda ended it I unfriended him on FB. He noticed within 30 min and sent me this super nasty text. Glad I got out of that before he really showed his true colors. So yeah. lol Don't get me wrong, the younger guys are cute AF, but there is just something really hnnngg to me about a mature guy who keeps himself in shape.Bumping this question, not sure if already answered, if so I missed it.
I've had superficial conversations too with younger guys and don't mind it actually. Kind of relaxing in a way.
I've had superficial conversations too with younger guys and don't mind it actually. Kind of relaxing in a way.
Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
Yes, the games are just absolutely ridiculous! I can't even express how much I hate games. This is definitely the biggest difference to prior to my marriage and what makes dating in this day and age so much more fukking difficult. Back then, you had to put in effort to date someone. You had to call and talk on the phone and actually spend time with someone, so you clearly had to be interested. None of this stringing people along with a 2 second text here and there to keep them interested and on the hook.Yeah, I read his article on dating (I haven't read his blog in maybe over a year though), and I read his book; Models. I found him incredibly insightful when he said that he believes what passes for flirting and 'game' in the west toxic, because it's comprised of 'testing'/phucking with each other's self esteem through passive aggression, or wanting the person to be unsure if you are attracted to them or not.
Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
Yeah, it does make me feel bad, even though I know I did nothing wrong. I wouldn't say it makes me feel guilty, just bad that I feel like I wasted their time.From what you are writing, you seem like you felt guilty when they responded with frustration or disappointment when you said you weren't interested. So I can understand why you don't want to repeat those experiences.
Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
I see in your post to Katya that you aren't in the US? Real dating is hard to find now. Yes, meeting through work and other social situations would be ideal. You already know you're attracted to them and have a mental connection. That just doesn't happen very often IRL now. What I see when I'm out and about is people with their faces in their phones. People just don't socialize like they did before smart phones and social media. [/QUOTE]That didn't even cross my mind, I assumed that they are 'normal' girls, who if very pretty would have men who want to date them in any walk of life; (works, social circle, bars, online dating, social hobbies, etc).
I met my ex-partners through work, we would speak regularly and mutual attraction grew. We knew we were mentally and physically attracted to one another before we went on our first date. I've heard things like workshops, classes, etc, are great ways to meet potential partners for similar reasons, due to the lack of 'pressure'.
I met my ex-partners through work, we would speak regularly and mutual attraction grew. We knew we were mentally and physically attracted to one another before we went on our first date. I've heard things like workshops, classes, etc, are great ways to meet potential partners for similar reasons, due to the lack of 'pressure'.
[QUOTE=seanb1979 post_id=1539194641]Well you're a female on the misc, you are already outside traditional roles. I know so many women who desperately seek the marriage/kids thing, and I get it. It's biological and also it shows society 'hey look I did what I was supposed to do!' I've never been a big fan of doing things for that reason either so I can empathize when women want their own path. I'm just saying what I've noticed with the majority of people (I probably have a lot more dating experience than most since I've been an unapologetic manwhore most of my life.) I'd much rather have all of my experiences than be tied down in some boring domesticated life like a lot of my friends are, but their lives suit them and mine suits me.[/QUOTE]Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think doing things because society expects it of you is a recipe for disaster. it's good when someone knows themselves well enough to follow their own path and be true to themselves. I think as long as someone is honest with others about what they're looking for/not tricking people, have at it.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
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