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» Gonna ask out kurdish chad at my gym on Monday (no pics)
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post 1544096151 02-17-2018, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted By Tuga88
I get that but it's slightly different for a guy...he is the initiator...he is the one that is normally leading and making things happen while the girl is just reacting off that. So that leaves a lot more room for them to pursue even when it looks like nothing's happening (esp. since some girls need a little more encouragement than others). When the roles are reversed, if the guy is not initiating and making an effort he's not into you....it's easy to spot tbh.

But hey, at least OP got to get laid right?
I agree. Definitely bc women are taught to behave differently in a romantic setting than men. She tried something new that was not the norm for her and thought it worked the same way as when a guy does it. It's easy to do if you've never pursued someone as a woman before. A rookie mistake, I guess. Lol.

And yes. At least she got laid. I might go pick up some pretty boy at the gym for a smash and dash.... Hnnnnngh.

Jk I'm just going the gym to do legs and gtfo. I got shít to do. Tata, luvs.
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post 1544096721 02-17-2018, 10:06 AM
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I'm kinda young compared to the rest of the miscers, but I really think that the one who's making the invitation always falls on the second place. If you ask a guy out, you are the one to initiate conversation, then to initiate getting out for drinks, then to just app him with a hi from time to time. So I think that Chad loses all his interest to chase you and win a chance to date you,raising to your standards so you give him a shot.

Don't get me wrong, OP is an awesome woman, confident and she knows what she wants, wish I'd be that confident. But never ever chase a guy if you want him, imo. As a female you really need to require guys to work for you, they usually value someone by the amount of work they put in after you got their attention.

Anyway, OP, don't feel ashamed, you were honest and happened to develop feelings for Chad, it will go away fast cause it seems like you were only attracted to him. Act like you don't give a phuck when you're at gym, it will make him wonder.
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post 1544096761 02-17-2018, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted By Tuga88
Why did you continue pushing this? Pretty sure people here told you he was not into you....but you kept trying....so now you get rektd.
Cos I'm stupid and yes I got rekt
Originally Posted By hai2dehfolks
At least she asked him outright and didn't KEEP pursuing the dude.... She doesn't have that question in her head anymore: Does he like me? She got her answer and thus can move on. She's not stuck in a loop.

Now, if she KEEPS TRYING, which I highly doubt she will, she's beyond help lol.
Yes, at least now I know for sure and that is what I needed. I didn't respond to his text and will just try to act cool when I see him next.
Originally Posted By Tuga88
But hey, at least OP got to get laid right?
I guess
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post 1544096891 02-17-2018, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted By YeahImMad
Cos I'm stupid and yes I got rekt

I guess
Nah, not stupid, just human, it happens to everybody and for sure it happened to him too. Don't be hard on yourself, I saw you on youtube, you probably lift more than he does, so his loss.
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post 1544096931 02-17-2018, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted By hai2dehfolks
If that works for you, then cool, but has never worked for me. To me, expectations that aren't voiced and are left up for interpretation, rarely are achieved to the satisfaction of the one doing the expecting. Best to be forthcoming about all you want from a relationship, knowing that the person you're communicating with may not be on the same page. It's all for the best in the long run.
If I could drill that concept of openness into every girl I meet, my life would be a billion times easier. I am not even playing here. Being forthcoming is one of the most underrated ways to create long lasting relationships with not only your SO but your friends. But of course I attract the total opposite. They wanna play head games for whatever the hell reason they have brewing in their mind
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post 1544097051 02-17-2018, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted By RICHSTRONG
If hes a chad...Treat it like a dance. Let the man lead.If he's interested he'll text/call. If not...move on. Pretty simple. Or lower ur fkn standards/expectations.
What a blatantly sexist and out of touch piece of advice. It’s 2018! Dating AND dancing have evolved beyond those antiquated standards.

Spoiler!
post 1544097221 02-17-2018, 10:16 AM
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post 1544097891 02-17-2018, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted By YeahImMad
Cos I'm stupid and yes I got rekt



Yes, at least now I know for sure and that is what I needed. I didn't respond to his text and will just try to act cool when I see him next.



I guess
So wait, from what I remember you tried your hardest to act like a dude:

1. You asked the guy out

2. You got phucked

3. YOu bragged about getting D and left his apartment

Now you're crying cause you couldn't date?

Are you trolling or are you serious? Time after time again the misc will state no guy like sloots. They just phuck em. You literally threw your vag at a dude and you expected him to lock you down?
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post 1544098661 02-17-2018, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted By 20Mavs11
So wait, from what I remember you tried your hardest to act like a dude:

1. You asked the guy out

2. You got phucked

3. YOu bragged about getting D and left his apartment

Now you're crying cause you couldn't date?

Are you trolling or are you serious? Time after time again the misc will state no guy like sloots. They just phuck em. You literally threw your vag at a dude and you expected him to lock you down?
Guess I dun goofd. Sucks to be me.
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post 1544098991 02-17-2018, 10:43 AM
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Opie just keep lifting. That's all that matters. Srs
post 1544099201 02-17-2018, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22
I'm kinda young compared to the rest of the miscers, but I really think that the one who's making the invitation always falls on the second place. If you ask a guy out, you are the one to initiate conversation, then to initiate getting out for drinks, then to just app him with a hi from time to time. So I think that Chad loses all his interest to chase you and win a chance to date you,raising to your standards so you give him a shot.

Don't get me wrong, OP is an awesome woman, confident and she knows what she wants, wish I'd be that confident. But never ever chase a guy if you want him, imo. As a female you really need to require guys to work for you, they usually value someone by the amount of work they put in after you got their attention.

Anyway, OP, don't feel ashamed, you were honest and happened to develop feelings for Chad, it will go away fast cause it seems like you were only attracted to him. Act like you don't give a phuck when you're at gym, it will make him wonder.
Not necessarily. If a guy likes a girl, whether she initiates or not, he'll pursue. IME anyway. There's really no need to over complicate things and yeah in an ideal world we'd all follow certain guidelines to make things easier but it doesn't work that way and it's fine. I think if you like someone, regardless of your gender, it's fine to make the first move. Because let's face it the other person mightn't (for a million reasons) and that can leave you wondering what if?

Anyway OP god dammit girl pull yourself together and stop beating yourself up! You did nothing wrong, you went with what felt right for you, HE just wasn't feeling it! Honestly chalk it up to an experience and you'll look back and shrug it off. He's out there still don't worry
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post 1544100561 02-17-2018, 11:09 AM
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post 1544100711 02-17-2018, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted By FriendOfFrank
What a blatantly sexist and out of touch piece of advice. It’s 2018! Dating AND dancing have evolved beyond those antiquated standards.

Spoiler!
Oh man!
post 1544101291 02-17-2018, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted By Melis689
Not necessarily.If a guy likes a girl, whether she initiates or not, he'll pursue. IME anyway.There's really no need to over complicate things and yeah in an ideal world we'd all follow certain guidelines to make things easier but it doesn't work that way and it's fine. I think if you like someone, regardless of your gender, it's fine to make the first move. Because let's face it the other person mightn't (for a million reasons) and that can leave you wondering what if?
Bingo. I find it strange that Melis is an 8/10 and talks the most sense about dating whereas the 5-6/10 female miscers have such deluded views on the dating world it's hilarious. You'd think an 8/10 would be the one with inflated ego etc. but it's the exact opposite.
There is but one path....we kill them all.
post 1544101401 02-17-2018, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted By YeahImMad
Guess I dun goofd. Sucks to be me.
OP I seriously can't tell if you're legit depressed or just trolling.....
There is but one path....we kill them all.
post 1544101811 02-17-2018, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted By Tuga88
OP I seriously can't tell if you're legit depressed or just trolling.....
The only good thing that has come out of this is some of the chops in this thread and Richstrong's hilarious video, v srs
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post 1544101821 02-17-2018, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted By Melis689
Not necessarily. If a guy likes a girl, whether she initiates or not, he'll pursue. IME anyway. There's really no need to over complicate things and yeah in an ideal world we'd all follow certain guidelines to make things easier but it doesn't work that way and it's fine. I think if you like someone, regardless of your gender, it's fine to make the first move. Because let's face it the other person mightn't (for a million reasons) and that can leave you wondering what if?

Anyway OP god dammit girl pull yourself together and stop beating yourself up! You did nothing wrong, you went with what felt right for you, HE just wasn't feeling it! Honestly chalk it up to an experience and you'll look back and shrug it off. He's out there still don't worry
I don't have that much experience and to be honest I never made a first move in my life, just act nice and hoped that he will figure out which was the case. Probably I will have to defeat my fear and try once just to see how it works. I admire confident women tho.
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post 1544102401 02-17-2018, 11:36 AM
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Originally Posted By Melis689
Not necessarily. If a guy likes a girl, whether she initiates or not, he'll pursue. IME anyway. There's really no need to over complicate things and yeah in an ideal world we'd all follow certain guidelines to make things easier but it doesn't work that way and it's fine. I think if you like someone, regardless of your gender, it's fine to make the first move. Because let's face it the other person mightn't (for a million reasons) and that can leave you wondering what if?

Anyway OP god dammit girl pull yourself together and stop beating yourself up!You did nothing wrong, you went with what felt right for you, HE just wasn't feeling it! Honestly chalk it up to an experience and you'll look back and shrug it off. He's out there still don't worry
Will disagree with that.

1st, she has her face, youtube, all that on here, in a forum he or his boys might actually look at. This isn't a sock knitting website.

Then told all the details. Not everyone likes that.
Originally Posted By feminineenergy
This is why the 1st rule about gym crush is never talk about gym crush.


Thanks for the reminder bro.


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Sleeping on the 2nd date with a dude before you understand what his ideas are on that subject was no bueno.

Originally Posted By feminineenergy
OP, some advice:

Dude's a Kurd. May not think like the miscers here.

Ask him what his expectations are before getting sexual.

He might be more conservative than you are used to. Get the 411 first.

Don't go all hijab for him either, tho.
I don't think it was a mistake to text him for a straight up answer. The great news is she's only spent a few weeks on that guy. She will get over him quickly.

No one knows what they are doing anymore with dating. Cut people some slack, including yourself.

Hugs everybody!
post 1544103351 02-17-2018, 11:49 AM
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Originally Posted By feminineenergy
Will disagree with that.

1st, she has her face, youtube, all that on here, in a forum he or his boys might actually look at. This isn't a sock knitting website.

Then told all the details. Not everyone likes that.
lmao it is possible he's seen this thread...
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post 1544104551 02-17-2018, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Well they did it on the second date which is not too bad. Third date is pretty standard.

If after three dates it's not leading to sex then generally the guy would have to be really super into the girl to keep dating her OR he tolerates it because he's also seeing other women that he is having sex with OR he doesn't have any other options.

And waiting with sex or withholding sex can make a guy who already likes you like you more, but it can't make a guy who wasn't into you in the first place like you. He'll just drop you after one or two dates, not start liking you more.
I never bought into that idea. Here are 2 reasons the misc might appreciate:

1. Having sex so quickly really takes the sizzle out of it. Sexual tension feels amazing. Allowing desire for one another to build can be one of the most memorable and pleasurable experiences in life.

You miss out on that when you jump into the sack before you figure out if you really like each other. Who are you going to have better sex with? Someone you've fantasized touching countless times and are in love with, or someone whose major concern is how big the d is and how quickly you can leave once its over?

2. The quicker you jump in bed usually means the quicker the relationship is over.

This is just my opinion, and I'm not judging others who feel differently. To each his own.
post 1544107521 02-17-2018, 12:56 PM
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post 1544107851 02-17-2018, 01:01 PM
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29 pages?
post 1544107921 02-17-2018, 01:02 PM
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We're all gonna make it
post 1544108261 02-17-2018, 01:08 PM
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if he likes muscular men then you alright OP.
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post 1544109801 02-17-2018, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted By Tuga88
I get that but it's slightly different for a guy...he is the initiator...he is the one that is normally leading and making things happen while the girl is just reacting off that. So that leaves a lot more room for them to pursue even when it looks like nothing's happening (esp. since some girls need a little more encouragement than others). When the roles are reversed, if the guy is not initiating and making an effort he's not into you....it's easy to spot tbh.
This. Some of the female posters here are trying to make it seem more complicated than it is.

That and occasionally, some women will change their minds after they are pursued. I've never gone that far, but I've seen it happen with friends. But this is never true the other way around. A man's attraction is set in stone.
Originally Posted By Tuga88
Bingo. I find it strange that Melis is an 8/10 and talks the most sense about dating whereas the 5-6/10 female miscers have such deluded views on the dating world it's hilarious.
Attractive people in general have a better understanding of the dating game.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Well they did it on the second date which is not too bad. Third date is pretty standard.

If after three dates it's not leading to sex then generally the guy would have to be really super into the girl to keep dating her OR he tolerates it because he's also seeing other women that he is having sex with OR he doesn't have any other options.

And waiting with sex or withholding sex can make a guy who already likes you like you more, but it can't make a guy who wasn't into you in the first place like you. He'll just drop you after one or two dates, not start liking you more.
This. Withholding sex doesn't accomplish much more than to filter out the guys who may not be as into you (which is a pretty useful thing to find out though), though as you point out, after a certain point it can have the unintended consequence of only keeping around the desperate betas or the ones who are sticking their dick inside everyone but you. Or... it can be an intended consequence, as some former sloots will use this tactic to rope in some "beta provider."

Anyways, OP was very aggressive with this guy from the start. If she started to play coy it would've been completely inconsistent with everything she's shown him up to that point.
post 1544110481 02-17-2018, 01:40 PM
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Having sex after the third date is STANDARD ? I am 22 and the last guy that I dated meet me for 12 or more times and still didn't got it , cause I wasn't sure about him being a boyfriend instead of a friend.

I don't have anything against casual sex or being attracted to someone and wanting to have sex, but giving it after the second date or the third date being Standard, wtf. I am legit a grandma living in a dope body. No wonder that I'm single if this is the standard, who tf would wait for me.
Misc is more educational than I thought.
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post 1544111101 02-17-2018, 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22
Having sex after the third date is STANDARD ? I am 22 and the last guy that I dated meet me for 12 or more times and still didn't got it , cause I wasn't sure about him being a boyfriend instead of a friend.

I don't have anything against casual sex or being attracted to someone and wanting to have sex, but giving it after the second date or the third date being Standard, wtf. I am legit a grandma living in a dope body. No wonder that I'm single if this is the standard, who tf would wait for me.
Misc is more educational than I thought.
Depends how far apart the dates are. If it's like over a 3-4 week period then if there is any true sexual attraction most people will sleep together. Otherwise, you could be wasting your time. If it's 3-4 dates in a week, then sure it could be too fast. But if there's 2 really attractive people who are lusting for each other, it's not going to take that long. It also depends what you want in a relationship, there are many variables.
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post 1544111161 02-17-2018, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22
Having sex after the third date is STANDARD ? I am 22 and the last guy that I dated meet me for 12 or more times and still didn't got it , cause I wasn't sure about him being a boyfriend instead of a friend.

I don't have anything against casual sex or being attracted to someone and wanting to have sex, but giving it after the second date or the third date being Standard, wtf. I am legit a grandma living in a dope body. No wonder that I'm single if this is the standard, who tf would wait for me.
Misc is more educational than I thought.
did he pay for all 12? wat a Brad.

also, how do I find girls like this? i don't want to date and settle down with some Chad's leftovers...

a lot of chicks are slooting on the dl even tho they act like nuns.
post 1544111691 02-17-2018, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22
but giving it after the second date or the third date being Standard, wtf. I am legit a grandma living in a dope body. No wonder that I'm single if this is the standard, who tf would wait for me.
The one that is most worthy would be the one who would wait for you. That's one of the biggest problems with society today, people with loose morals slooting around and giving it up so easily. Despite what the world might believe, I believe that humans were designed to have just one partner. Ever notice how much more happy old timer couples are compared with today's generation that has multiple partners, FWB's, etc.?
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

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post 1544112211 02-17-2018, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted By 1hardgainer
The one that is most worthy would be the one who would wait for you. That's one of the biggest problems with society today, people with loose morals slooting around and giving it up so easily. Despite what the world might believe, I believe that humans were designed to have just one partner. Ever notice how much more happy old timer couples are compared with today's generation that has multiple partners, FWB's, etc.?
Yeah cause multiple partners **** you up mentally. Q the misc meme about "how can the sloot love you if she's loved 20 other dudes dick.". Those old couples had less expectations and made the relationship workout despite all the hardships involved. It isn't like that today at all. People are looking for someone who has everything going for them, including looks so they can parade the dude all over social media.

A couple of my friends I know have had 2-3 relationships top and they are extremely happy with their life and partner. Maybe those people who married their high school sweetheart were better off after all.
Kindness is all that matters in life
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