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Forum » Is it really possible for men and women to be just friends?
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Thread: Is it really possible for men and women to be just friends?

post 1546210721 03-12-2018, 09:42 AM
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I have female friends. Some I WOULD bang, some I wouldn't. But I'm generally not TRYING to bang any of them if I consider them my friends.
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post 1546210781 03-12-2018, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
Very rarely is friendship the only thing that one party has intentions. Not saying that a man that wants to sleep with a very attractive friend is being deceptive. He's not. He probably likes the company of the girl and actually enjoys her company outside of anything romantic, but yes would certainly sleep with them.

For a man that's tough and may be emotionally draining when the woman discusses other men or if the girl is in a relationship.

Most my female friends are gfs/wives of my guy friends. I have some female friends that I know from college or I used to work with and we're cool and I'm not interested in these female friends romantically. On average tho I probably wouldn't befriend any new female friends because frankly I'd only be into meeting future females for sex and romance.
This is what I was getting at yesterday. I've had flirty female friends where I'd def smash if they have a breakup, but that doesn't mean I'm creepin or trying to ruin things with their boyfriend. Actually I rarely hang out 1 on 1 with a girl in a relationship. I'm not a teenager anymore so I'm not befriending girls in hopes to get with them anymore.

But I also have had female friends that have great senses of humor, are great listeners, are extroverted, and I have no interest in - so for that reason I keep a friendship with them.
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post 1546211261 03-12-2018, 09:48 AM
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I have numerous female friends that I have been freidns with for a long time. I have always been able to mentally friend zone someone pretty quickly, if I know I would never want to date them.
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post 1546212091 03-12-2018, 09:59 AM
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post 1546212681 03-12-2018, 10:05 AM
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Wow, I know these feelings

OP, I was interested in a girl and after about two weeks, we climbed a tree and I told her how I felt about her. But she preceded to tell me that she thought I was interested in her best friend, and I was like, "Nah." She just stared at me and I was like, "Ok, I'm glad we had this convo." Lowkey hurt my feelings haha.

We stayed friends even though she was actively pursuing other people because she's a cool person, literally have met one or two other girls like this my whole life. So yes, it is possible but it's pretty uncommon, at least in my circle of friends.
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post 1546212691 03-12-2018, 10:05 AM
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Originally Posted By RihanM⏩
If you don't feel the urge to bang a hot chick ur a soyboy. simple as that
"Feeling an urge" and "acting on it" are two different things. It's as simple as that.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Yes I think it's very common. Not just for money but for other things like commitment, stability, kids, fear of being alone etc.

And I think there are lots of marriages and long term relationships where one or both partners are emotionally or sexually checked out, but they won't leave because of convenience or kids or financial reasons or social status or general inertia etc.
I read your posts on this subject and honestly they are incredibly sad. They indicate a world view where - and I hope I don't come across too strong - it seems like you've been badly betrayed, heartbroken, and know multiple people like that. It is the only way I could understand your view of a world where marrying someone you are not attracted to is "very common". No wonder people will believe it is impossible to have friends of the opposite gender (if you're heterosexual): some of them think that the average person is in a miserable marriage without passion, and without sex.
post 1546212851 03-12-2018, 10:07 AM
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My best friend is a female. She's not unattractive but personally I'm not attracted to her. We've been friends for about 19 years now. She actually wing mans me all the time so I doubt she is attracted to me. She's honestly one of the only people I can truly be myself around without having any feelings of judgement. Not that I give a f if people judge me but still. And to be honest I trust her more than any of my close guy friends in pretty much any situation imaginable as well as I'd 100% be there for her without question if she needed anything. I can't say that for some of my close guy friends either.

So it's possible but its extremely rare
hard to hate on a fellow wings fan but....


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post 1546213021 03-12-2018, 10:09 AM
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It's possible but difficult. Unless it's a long time child hood friend, there seems to always be sexual tension. The girls I made the best friends with were ones I ****ed, then got bored of ****ing, but still liked them as a person.
A million miles away - I don't.. feel.... anything.
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post 1546213591 03-12-2018, 10:18 AM
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If I feel no attraction then yes. I've had a few female friends, whose company I enjoyed because we had similar interests. However, like I said I also felt no attraction to them as they were generally meh. If I was attracted to them I don't see why I'd bother just being friends, as I wouldn't want that to begin with.
post 1546214971 03-12-2018, 10:35 AM
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I used to think it was possible because my friends always hung out with the same 4-5 girls in high school and college and after. But eventually I hooked up with all of them and so did my friends.
post 1546222761 03-12-2018, 12:16 PM
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For an actual friendship, there must be some sort of barrier to sleeping together (reputation at work, physical distance, not wanting to mess up the whole friend group's dynamic) and you can't be texting each other every single day or hanging out regularly. But yes it is possible

For anyone with common sense it's easy to sniff out beta orbiters from actual friends as well
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post 1546224191 03-12-2018, 12:33 PM
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I have plenty of female friends that I hang & socialize with and enjoy their company. If you see the person for what they are its very easy to maintain the friendship. I'm not banging them and my gf knows and acknowledges I'm not banging them.

Originally Posted By sword_⏩
For a man that's tough and may be emotionally draining when the woman discusses other men or if the girl is in a relationship.
Actually if you really listen to what they are telling you when they do this you can learn a lot. The not so obvious seems very obvious after a while.
post 1546226721 03-12-2018, 12:57 PM
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simple answer is,

yes if it is a gay man and a woman.

or a straight man and an ugly woman

or a chad and a sumo wrestler female

maybe a blind man and a hot woman if she smells bad
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post 1546228701 03-12-2018, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
Very rarely is friendship the only thing that one party has intentions. Not saying that a man that wants to sleep with a very attractive friend is being deceptive. He's not. He probably likes the company of the girl and actually enjoys her company outside of anything romantic, but yes would certainly sleep with them.

For a man that's tough and may be emotionally draining when the woman discusses other men or if the girl is in a relationship.

Most my female friends are gfs/wives of my guy friends. I have some female friends that I know from college or I used to work with and we're cool and I'm not interested in these female friends romantically. On average tho I probably wouldn't befriend any new female friends because frankly I'd only be into meeting future females for sex and romance.
I get that it can be hard on the guy. I have had to cut a few guys loose because they wanted more and I didn't want to string them along.

I just dislike this idea that if a man does anything nice for a woman and if she's not having sex with him, she is automatically using him. I may be annoying, but I'm very empathetic and loyal, and I try to surrond myself with people who are the same. Not everything has to be a game or trying to manipulate or get over on someone. That is so depressing that people actually live that way.

My closest male friend may have liked me at one point, who knows, but this was almost six years ago and by now I think he has realized we would have been an awful couple, so I am 90% sure he just cares about me at this point.
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post 1546229081 03-12-2018, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted By Maylie⏩
My closest male friend may have liked me at one point, who knows, but this was almost six years ago and by now I think he has realized we would have been an awful couple, so I am 90% sure he just cares about me at this point.
100% guaranteed if you called him right now and said you were horny as fukk and just wanted a lay, he would be over before you hung up the phone.

Sorry, but that is the reality.

Too many guys ITT confusing acquaintance with actual "friend"...
post 1546229211 03-12-2018, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted By EdwardTheGreat⏩
100% guaranteed if you called him right now and said you were horny as fukk and just wanted a lay, he would be over before you hung up the phone.

Sorry, but that is the reality.

Too many guys ITT confusing acquaintance with actual "friend"...
Guys will **** anything, the misc has made that clear. But I don't think that means he's not really my friend.
Be patient like the mountain. And you will learn to be strong.

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post 1546229251 03-12-2018, 01:26 PM
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There are 3 possibilities
1. Both want to fk
2. One of them wants to fk
3. Niether wants to fk

It might be possible in the 3rd case
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post 1546229811 03-12-2018, 01:32 PM
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post 1546229991 03-12-2018, 01:34 PM
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low test brehs could do it easily

high test brehs wouldn't be able to if they thought the gal was attractive
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post 1546230211 03-12-2018, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Does he have other girls around that he does have sex with? Or does he not have many good options with attractive women? In the latter case he would likely accept the friendzone just to be around an attractive woman.
Well, I do know he finds me attractive so I can't say he wouldn't sleep with me--I think he would. But he has plenty of other options for sex and I think he values my company over the chance to get into my pants. He has called me crying at 3am before talking about other women, life etc.

I would also never sleep with him, he's a man whore and that's gross to me. I think we work well the way we are.
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post 1546230481 03-12-2018, 01:39 PM
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If she is even half decent looking, the male even if he is a bit gay will want to give her one. When I was at Uni there was a guy who said he was gay, not bisexual, gay ... and he had sex with several of the girls if I remember. He would bring random men back to the block he met in bars, but still had sex with some of the girls. I would never trust a woman with a male best friend, even a gay one, because being a man I know exactly what men are like. Some women have this naiveity ,even innocence about them,that men are friends with them and they are just like their female friends. It's not the same at all for these men. You put a man and a woman alone together in a room on a regular basis, most likely one of them will want to bang, usually the male. Even when there is a professional relationship, feelings will be there. It's why it was always ridiculous to have women working in mens prisons and vice versa.
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post 1546230561 03-12-2018, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted By Caeculus⏩
It is not possible for a man and woman to be just friends.




In before the creepy fake "nice guys" claiming they can be friends with a woman when they actually are just waiting for their chance to pounce when she is vulnerable and can get some rebound sex.
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post 1546230811 03-12-2018, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted By INSANEREACH⏩
If she is even half decent looking, the male even if he is a bit gay will want to give her one. When I was at Uni there was a guy who said he was gay, not bisexual, gay ... and he had sex with several of the girls if I remember. He would bring random men back to the block he met in bars, but still had sex with some of the girls. I would never trust a woman with a male best friend, even a gay one, because being a man I know exactly what men are like. Some women have this naiveity ,even innocence about them,that men are friends with them and they are just like their female friends. It's not the same at all for these men. You put a man and a woman alone together in a room on a regular basis, most likely one of them will want to bang, usually the male. Even when there is a professional relationship, feelings will be there. It's why it was always ridiculous to have women working in mens prisons and vice versa.
Its crazy because i as well as a few posters here think women are VERY aware of social dynamics, moreso than men. Way more in tune with body language and subtle nuances, also thinking way more about others perception of them. For instance, even if THEY are attracted to you and someone else displays they arent, it will affect their attraction toward you.

But then they seem to have this naivete where i do believe they actually believe that most men can be their friends

But then that doesnt explain why women wont even as so much look in your direction if theyre not attracted to you..for fear of it leading somewhere sexually

Some fibbing going on somewhere
post 1546230891 03-12-2018, 01:44 PM
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90% of my friends are female so I'm going to have to say yes
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post 1546230991 03-12-2018, 01:45 PM
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The older you get the more you realize girls and guys can't really operate as "friends"

Sure if you're a 24 yr old girl like OP you can pretend to be clueless but when you get old and have kids/responsibilities if someone you trying to date is hanging out 1 on 1 with the opposite sex it's a no go

College/20's guy & girl "friends" are somewhat more plausible, 30+ it's fukin weird and uncommon

Every dude I know that is 25+ doesn't have any "Friends" that are girls.
post 1546231001 03-12-2018, 01:45 PM
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OP, it's hard to do, although easier as you get older (and everyone your age looks like crap). For me, my close female friends are current or former musicians and I value their musical friendship much more than the chance for horizontal refreshment.
post 1546231041 03-12-2018, 01:45 PM
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post 1546231331 03-12-2018, 01:48 PM
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post 1546231941 03-12-2018, 01:56 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
I don't think it's entirely genuine. It's just convenient for women to pretend it's "just a friend" so they don't lose the relationship and lose the benefits.
That's a really unfair generalization, silence. I grew up with three brothers, a dad and no mum. I am naturally more at ease around a certain type of male company.

I just don't want to **** them but that doesn't mean I don't contribute to the relationship. FFS why does everything have to be about sex. Is that all female company is worth?
Be patient like the mountain. And you will learn to be strong.

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post 1546232231 03-12-2018, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted By Maylie⏩
That's a really unfair generalization, silence. I grew up with three brothers, a dad and no mum. I am naturally more at ease around a certain type of male company.

I just don't want to **** them but that doesn't mean I don't contribute to the relationship. FFS why does everything have to be about sex. Is that all female company is worth?
I think females more often than not set that environment

Would you befriend a super hairy, glasses wearing, hunchback with a cyst on his face? Youd prob avoid him under the assumption hed want sex

So, imo, thats admittance that "befriending" has some level of sexual attraction toward one another
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