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Forum » Surprising Marriage Statistics
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Thread: Surprising Marriage Statistics

post 1550720601 05-03-2018, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted By wesleysh21⏩
I'm a relationship kind of guy myself. That being said, I will have to say that marrying a girl is a different level of commitment than just seriously dating/living together. I didn't think so until I got married. Now I see it. If you don't see it that's fine...and I hope you find a girl who's okay with it or doesn't see it herself. But man, it really was different. I didn't think it would be but it was. It was more than just a piece of paper in my eyes.
Agreed, reps. Couldn't have said it better.
Originally Posted By nn586⏩
I have an idea.

How about do whatever makes you happy and stop worrying about how other people live their lives to be happy?
Not trying to say anyone should or shouldn't get married, or worrying about other people's lives. Simply pointing out the fact that the commonly referenced dismal status of marriage some miscers claim is just flat out not true. Social media & dating apps are not causing marriage to decline, and divorces are declining hard.

Who knows, in 5 years it could be a totally different story and the backlash from social media & dating apps could just have not arrived yet. But until then I don't understand saying that our generation is abandoning marriage.
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post 1550721271 05-03-2018, 06:15 PM
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OP posts evidence that less people are getting married than ever before and those who are getting married are doing so much later in life.

OP claims everything is fine with marriage.

LOL @ OP.

BTW, the marriage rate has plummeted since the 1980s (nearly cut in half). And the decrease in divorce mirrors the decrease in marriages, so less people are divorcingbecause less people are getting married in the first place.

post 1550721571 05-03-2018, 06:20 PM
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Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
OP posts evidence that less people are getting married than ever before and those who are getting married are doing so much later in life.

OP claims everything is fine with marriage.

LOL @ OP.
You miss the point. It has only declined 9% since 1990, and hasn't declined at all in the last 5 years.


Also divorce has dropped by ~20% since 1990, so there are actually MORE people with long lasting marriages now than there have been in decades.


But some miscers think IG and tindr are causing people to abandon marriage, it's just not true.
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post 1550721651 05-03-2018, 06:21 PM
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Originally Posted By Aesthetical⏩
But who was common law marriage, check you state laws.

Dat feel when splitting bills
Dat feel when not paying single tax rate
Dat feel when household income doubles
Dat feel when stay at home wife raises children instead of $10/hour wagecel nanny/daycare
Wut?
post 1550721731 05-03-2018, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
Wut?
When your wife stays home to raise your children, you don't have to pay for day care or a nanny and can raise your kid exactly as you see fit.


What was confusing about his statement? srs
Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
BTW, the marriage rate has plummeted since the 1980s (nearly cut in half). And the decrease in divorce mirrors the decrease in marriages, so less people are divorcingbecause less people are getting married in the first place.
bro, the numbers you posted are per capita, which means the statistic isn't influenced by the number of people getting married in the first place.


Also it's not a good approach to look at something only adults can do on a per capita basis. The number of <18 people in the population is always much higher than the previous generation, since population growth is exponential. Skews any per capita statistic in which the youngest generation is excluded.
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post 1550722101 05-03-2018, 06:27 PM
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Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
You miss the point. It has only declined 9% since 1990, and hasn't declined at all in the last 5 years.
A 10% drop is a very significant decline. And my graph shows what looks like a 25-35% decline since 1990. And not declining in 5 years is irrelevant when a) marriage rates are already at all-time historic lows and b) the long-term trend is plummeting downwards.
Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
Also divorce has dropped by ~20% since 1990, so there are actually MORE people with long lasting marriages now than there have been in decades.
Divorce has dropped because marriage has dropped. And even accepting a 20% drop in divorce rates, the fact remains there are LESS people with long lasting marriages now than there have been in decades as there are far less people getting married today than in decades past.
Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
But some miscers think IG and tindr are causing people to abandon marriage, it's just not true.
IG and Tinder haven't been around nearly long enough to know how they will affect marriage rates. But people are absolutely abandoning marriage in droves. The stats are crystal clear.
post 1550722211 05-03-2018, 06:28 PM
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Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
When your wife stays home to raise your children, you don't have to pay for day care or a nanny and can raise your kid exactly as you see fit.

What was confusing about his statement? srs
Might want to read what he wrote above the bolded statement, brah. He claimed to have doubled his household income and was able to split all of his bills with... a wife who stays home and takes care of his kids. Kinda doesn't add up.
post 1550722521 05-03-2018, 06:32 PM
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Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
IG and Tinder haven't been around nearly long enough to know how they will affect marriage rates. But people are absolutely abandoning marriage in droves. The stats are crystal clear.
Agree to disagree, I guess. The percentage of adults getting married hasn't declined in 5 years which says a lot, and can't be refuted.


edit: Also, Tindr and IG have been around for 6 and 8 years, respectively. They're not exactly just hitting the scene, they've both been popular for years.
Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
Might want to read what he wrote above the bolded statement, champ.
lmao, I see your point. But you do get a period of DINK status, which is GOAT. Not that you need to be married for that.
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post 1550722541 05-03-2018, 06:32 PM
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Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
bro, the numbers you posted are per capita, which means the statistic isn't influenced by the number of people getting married in the first place.
Uhh, yeah. If you aren't measuring using per capita numbers, then you aren't actually measuring anything expect overall population increase.

The bottom line in marriage rates are plummeting and have been since the 1980s. People can try to spin that any way they want, but it's a fact.

I personally have nothing against marriage and wish we lived in a culture and society where marriage made sense as it's the best institution to raise kids and have a happy, meaningful life. But I'm not going to live in denial and pretend marriage rates aren't sinking through the basement.
post 1550722731 05-03-2018, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
Uhh, yeah. If you aren't measuring using per capita numbers, then you aren't actually measuring anything expect overall population increase.
Not true, the percentage of the adult population getting married means a lot. It is also not influenced by the population, but since it only considers adults it isn't skewed by the high population of children.
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post 1550722821 05-03-2018, 06:37 PM
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ITT OP tries to find statistics that back up his decision to get married because deep down he knows that he made a huge mistake and is only 24 years old and feels trapped AF lmao
post 1550722911 05-03-2018, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
edit: Also, Tindr and IG have been around for 6 and 8 years, respectively. They're not exactly just hitting the scene, they've both been popular for years.
Those apps are used by young people, a group that you even admit aren't getting married. Let's wait and see when this group enters their 30s which should be in the next 5-8 years.

If you are married and happy, then I'm happy for you. As a social institution, I think it's dead.
post 1550723751 05-03-2018, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted By ectosthetic⏩
ITT OP tries to find statistics that back up his decision to get married because deep down he knows that he made a huge mistake and is only 24 years old and feels trapped AF lmao
I said in the OP I looked it up specifically in response to someone stating that men are abandoning marriage in crazy numbers. I just don't see anything to back that up.


brah getting married was like a top 2 or 3 decision I've ever made. Not saying you should or shouldn't, just how it was for me. I found a 10/10 wife, not everyone will be so lucky.
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post 1550723971 05-03-2018, 06:55 PM
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#74
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Not even gonna cross my mind till late 20s atleast. 23 rn
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post 1550724191 05-03-2018, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted By QuitYourCrying⏩
Those apps are used by young people, a group that you even admit aren't getting married. Let's wait and see when this group enters their 30s which should be in the next 5-8 years.

If you are married and happy, then I'm happy for you. As a social institution, I think it's dead.
That's true a lot of people using the app are hardly marriage age. But a majority of users are >25. There's no new data out but it's clear looking at old data the age of people using the app is going up. In 2014 53% of users were 18-24. By 2015, in only one year, the number of people 16-24, a larger age group, dropped to 38%.

Would be willing to guess >75% of users are >25 at this point.
Originally Posted By Shortstop36⏩
Not even gonna cross my mind till late 20s atleast. 23 rn
Aye you do you mane. But don't pass up on a 10/10 potential wifey just cause you feel like you're too young to get married.
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post 1550724241 05-03-2018, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted By Jacobcapra⏩
now she's been helping me pay my car note and student loans for 1.5 years feelsgood
Pathetic (srs).

Earn some money you peasant (srs again)
post 1550724841 05-03-2018, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted By SpeedCheeser⏩
Over 30 with bachelor's degree checking in. No interest in getting married crew. I have no issues with commitment, but it's just not a decision that benefits me in any way whatsoever, but could end up costing me if things don't work out. Why voluntarily put myself through that? If a woman can't commit to me without the promise of a legally recognized title or a claim to portions of my assets (however few they may be), then she doesn't deserve to be married anyway.
Going by your AVI, doesn’t seem like getting married is your choice
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post 1550724891 05-03-2018, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted By DrFeeIGood⏩
Pathetic (srs).

Earn some money you peasant (srs again)
I make more than she does, which is saying something. Pretty sure I'm in the top like 2-3% of earners for my age, too no e-brag.


The more quickly she helps me pay off my debts, the faster I can start banking more and/or paying heavily on a mortgage which she will be a co-owner on. it's really in her best interest.
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post 1550725001 05-03-2018, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted By bov188⏩
This guy disagrees ...



lol'd
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post 1550725081 05-03-2018, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted By DrFeeIGood⏩
Pathetic (srs).

Earn some money you peasant (srs again)
U wot m8? What do you think spoused do for each other? If one falls the other one helps pick them up, if you are married and your wife cannot or will not help you pay bills (and she isn't a SAHM) you need to revaluate your relationship to that woman.
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post 1550725131 05-03-2018, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted By FailedPotential⏩
People getting married at 20 is unheard of where i'm from, seems funny to think about a 20 year old couple, married
My cousin did it at that age, 2 kids, now grown and pursuing their own lives. I got married at 30, gotta leave work early to take prom photos and watch baseball games.

If you read any of the Millionaire Next Door, Millionaire Mindset etc books, they're always married with a wife at home. Single dude doing the Wolf of Wall Street gig just doesn't pan out in the evidence (real world).
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post 1550725161 05-03-2018, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted By atomicbbgum⏩
U wot m8? What do you think spoused do for each other? If one falls the other one helps pick them up, if you are married and your wife cannot or will not help you pay bills (and she isn't a SAHM) you need to revaluate your relationship to that woman.
wood rep but on spread.
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post 1550725421 05-03-2018, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
The amount of quiet misery that I see/hear with these marriages is a lot.
Just as there are many people who are married who should divorce, there are likewise many who divorced who, with work, could have had a happy marriage.

The idea of having to work to make your marriage successful alarms many, "work is a four-letter word." But that's because in our modern society, most of our jobs are either bullsht jobs producing nothing, or even if productive, they're alienating. Notice I said, "job", not work. The thing that gives you money is your job, your "work" is anything which you feel makes the best use of your productive and creative powers. The guy with the woodshop or the hot rod in his garage, that sort of thing.

Think of a man making a canoe. It's work. He takes his time and makes it beautifully so he can one day go and paddle it in a lake. Now think of that man making it with his son. It's still work, but it brings them together.

Now think of a factor worker in Guangzhou using an extruder to make a plastic part of a canoe to glue together with another part on an assembly line. That's not work, it's a job. But he can use that money for his real work - his family.

An important part of work, rather than a job, is mastery. The guy building the canoe with his son tries to get better at building canoes. If it takes him extra time or effort to make it properly and well, that's okay. He doesn't look at his watch to see when it's break time. The guy in the factory doesn't give a sht so long as it passes the quality control guy and he gets his pay this week, and if he can knock off early and still get paid the same, he will. Trying to achieve mastery of your work is part of what makes it fulfilling.

Ideally your job is also your work, but this isn't always possible. Sometimes it's just a job, just money - which you can spend on your real work.

Are you treating your marriage as a job, or as work? Are you trying to make something beautiful, to master being a husband or wife? Or are you just punching the clock and doing the minimum to avoid getting fired, and looking forward to break time?

If people think of their marriages as jobs, they'll be quietly miserable in them, just as they are in their jobs. If they think of their marriages as work, then misery can still happen, but it's much, much less likely.
post 1550725721 05-03-2018, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted By KyleAaron⏩
Just as there are many people who are married who should divorce, there are likewise many who divorced who, with work, could have had a happy marriage.

The idea of having to work to make your marriage successful alarms many, "work is a four-letter word." But that's because in our modern society, most of our jobs are either bullsht jobs producing nothing, or even if productive, they're alienating. Notice I said, "job", not work. The thing that gives you money is your job, your "work" is anything which you feel makes the best use of your productive and creative powers. The guy with the woodshop or the hot rod in his garage, that sort of thing.

Think of a man making a canoe. It's work. He takes his time and makes it beautifully so he can one day go and paddle it in a lake. Now think of that man making it with his son. It's still work, but it brings them together.

Now think of a factor worker in Guangzhou using an extruder to make a plastic part of a canoe to glue together with another part on an assembly line. That's not work, it's a job. But he can use that money for his real work - his family.

An important part of work, rather than a job, is mastery. The guy building the canoe with his son tries to get better at building canoes. If it takes him extra time or effort to make it properly and well, that's okay. He doesn't look at his watch to see when it's break time. The guy in the factory doesn't give a sht so long as it passes the quality control guy and he gets his pay this week, and if he can knock off early and still get paid the same, he will. Trying to achieve mastery of your work is part of what makes it fulfilling.

Ideally your job is also your work, but this isn't always possible. Sometimes it's just a job, just money - which you can spend on your real work.

Are you treating your marriage as a job, or as work? Are you trying to make something beautiful, to master being a husband or wife? Or are you just punching the clock and doing the minimum to avoid getting fired, and looking forward to break time?

If people think of their marriages as jobs, they'll be quietly miserable in them, just as they are in their jobs. If they think of their marriages as work, then misery can still happen, but it's much, much less likely.
Damn literally never seen you before but good analogy.
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post 1550726231 05-03-2018, 07:28 PM
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#85
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Originally Posted By bov188⏩
While we're on the topic of interadasting marriage statistics ... I recently picked up an issue of Time Magazine: The Science of Marriage (very interesting). One of the statistics that stood out to me was that couples that did NOT live together prior to getting married were more likely to stay together than couples who did live together prior to marriage.

People always say, "You have to live with someone before you marry them" blah blah blah ... I always thought that was BS
Can confirm that for me, waiting to live together was pretty sweet besides not being able to bump uglies regularly. I've heard that statistic too, willing to bet that a big factor is those who wait until marriage to live together have a larger reverence for marriage, and put in more effort to make their marriage work.

It's like, they are actually trying to follow the unspoken rules of marriage.
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post 1550726851 05-03-2018, 07:35 PM
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I’m actually mirin people who got married early srs. I feel like you mature faster and life has more purpose and direction once you take such a commitment. Meanwhile I have no idea wtf I’m doing with my life
post 1550726951 05-03-2018, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted By bov188⏩
Dem knowledge bombs ... What kind of mod, Buddha sorcery is this?
I stole it from Erich Fromm'sArt of Loving,which sounds like a sex book but isn't at all. He talks about how finding someone is treated like a commercial transaction, "the dating market", how movies present it as "meet the right person, fall in love, live happily ever after" and fail to mention that as with anythingeffortis required and all that - and he was writing in the 1950s, it's worse now obviously.

Buy this book.

https://www.bookdepository.com/Art-L.../9780061129735
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#88
  1. SpeedCheeser
  2. 4doorsmorewhores
  1. SpeedCheeser
  2. 4doorsmorewhores
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Originally Posted By juvefan⏩
Going by your AVI, doesn’t seem like getting married is your choice
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post 1550731091 05-03-2018, 08:24 PM
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#89
  1. jiujitsubro
  2. Registered User
  1. jiujitsubro
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I'm 27 and I've seen so many people married/divorced its crazy.
"There are some who do not fear death for they are more afraid of really living."-Ancient proverb




Between the buried and me
post 1550731821 05-03-2018, 08:34 PM
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#90
  1. KyleAaron
  2. husband, father, trainer
  1. KyleAaron
  2. husband, father, trainer
  3. Join Date: Jun 2009
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I found the statistics interesting, though, that the decline in marrying has been among less-educated people. That's unsurprising once you think about it. Over the last generation we've outsourced all our low-skilled work to China and so on. If you're unemployed and broke, or working an insecure casual part-time job, obviously you'll be reluctant to settle down. And many of the jobs that have disappeared are traditionally masculine jobs, like miner, logger, auto-maker, and so on.

Not only do women not want to hook up with a broke unemployed guy, that guy himself will have low self-esteem, and for some there'll be depression and substance abuse, so he's less likely to settle down. But people still want some companionship and sex, even if they won't marry. Cue one-night stands and fatherless children. And fatherless children tend to have poorer education, be more likely to have unplanned pregnancies, be in abusive relationships, commit crimes, and so on. So obviously they're not great marriage prospects, either. And so it continues.

Meanwhile those with degrees are more likely to have a comfortable salaried job that won't be outsourced today, only in another generation - assuming global resources allow China and India to grow into wealthy countries, which I doubt but still.

Moral of the story for a young person, get some skills. The Misc likes to mock tradies, but people will always need someone to knock up a house frame, fix their car or whatever. Or if it's your inclination and you can afford it, go to university. It doesn't need to be a great job, or high-income, most of all people value -steady employment. For some of us, self-employment will be steadier than being employed by someone else. But that's another topic, really. Suffice to say: it's all connected. Free trade killed marriage. Or something.
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