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Forum ยป How do people make friends so easily?
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Thread: How do people make friends so easily?

post 1555604351 07-06-2018, 05:44 PM
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I make acquaintances pretty easily. Friends is a whole other story.

My guess is I just never spend enough time around them to develop a real friendship. 40-60 hours is quite a lot especially if you're not trapped in a classroom with the same people anymore.
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post 1555604361 07-06-2018, 05:44 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Well I'm lonely for a relationship, not more friends. I have two longtime genuine friends and I don't want any more.



Yup my two friends are extremely extraverted and have a huge social circle. Could easily make more friends from their circle if I wanted to.
I really wish youd post a pic so i could see how delusional your high standards are. If your friends have such a big social circle why havent they set you up with a Chad yet?
post 1555604431 07-06-2018, 05:46 PM
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OP you ask and complain about the same **** every single day, and when someone gives you sound insight or advice you make excuse after excuse for why it's not possible for you. If you're going to be such a defeatest quitter please do us a favor and stop posting.
post 1555604481 07-06-2018, 05:47 PM
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OP, I like you mayne but do you really not have any IRL friends? I find it hard to believe but you tend to make these threads every other week. You just have to put yourself out there. Pick up some kind of league like bowling or dodgeball or anything that puts you on a team with other people who can potentially be your friends.
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post 1555604621 07-06-2018, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted By DCutch⏩
OP you ask and complain about the same **** every single day, and when someone gives you sound insight or advice you make excuse after excuse for why it's not possible for you. If you're going to be such a defeatest quitter please do us a favor and stop posting.
100% no one on the misc currently rustles me more than OP. He has messaged me asking for advice and didnโ€™t listen to a word and here he is posting the same crap every day
post 1555604631 07-06-2018, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted By DesiredUser****⏩
OP, I like you mayne but do you really not have any IRL friends? I find it hard to believe but you tend to make these threads every other week.You just have to put yourself out there. Pick up some kind of league like bowling or dodgeball or anything that puts you on a team with other people who can potentially be your friends.
Excuse incoming in 3...2...1...
post 1555604811 07-06-2018, 05:54 PM
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How do people make friends easily?

They find things in common that they share with the other person and genuinely hang out and make future plans to secure said friendship. The things they share in common allow them to be good bros. They invest time and effort into another and get the same in return for the most part. You have people to watch your back.

But if you're autistic like OP and depressed about everything in life you'll never make friends because you think you're too smart for people and look down on them condescendingly.
post 1555604911 07-06-2018, 05:56 PM
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post 1555605041 07-06-2018, 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted By MichaelDuong⏩
How do people make friends easily?

They find things in common that they share with the other person and genuinely hang out and make future plans to secure said friendship. The things they share in common allow them to be good bros. They invest time and effort into another and get the same in return for the most part. You have people to watch your back.

But if you're autistic like OP and depressed about everything in life you'll never make friends because you think you're too smart for people and look down on them condescendingly.
This is pretty much how i feel. Unless someone i'm attracted to shows interest in me i will forever be depressed
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post 1555605121 07-06-2018, 06:00 PM
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post 1555605151 07-06-2018, 06:01 PM
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We are talking good friends and not acquientances right?

I make friends pretty easily, but if i get too much going on. I pull back. I dislike having multiple people hit me up and telling them i cant go out, or im only going with one, etc.

Just stupid and faux. Nobody is everybodys best friend. I think most people desire a close connection as opposed to acquintances

Similarly, i dislike leading people on

Im much more of a close connection, and then work with them kind of guy. E.g. having one dude friend i generally go out with
post 1555605221 07-06-2018, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
This is pretty much how i feel. Unless someone i'm attracted to shows interest in me i will forever be depressed
There's your problem then.

You'll never make friends if you look down on people. You find people who share similar values to you and you make friends with them. You don't have to kiss everybody's ass and I definitely wouldn't either but sometimes you need to stop thinking you're better than other people.

Look at them as equals. Talk and listen to people and learn to care about what they actually say. Only then can you make a friend. You need to get the stick out your ass that's saying you're better than other people - because let's face it: you're not.
post 1555605731 07-06-2018, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted By MichaelDuong⏩
There's your problem then.

You'll never make friends if you look down on people. You find people who share similar values to you and you make friends with them. You don't have to kiss everybody's ass and I definitely wouldn't either but sometimes you need to stop thinking you're better than other people.

Look at them as equals. Talk and listen to people and learn to care about what they actually say. Only then can you make a friend. You need to get the stick out your ass that's saying you're better than other people - because let's face it: you're not.
I don't think i'm better than them i just don't want to talk to people at all unless i share a connection or i'm attracted to them. I am the only person i know that is like this. Everyone else seems to get joy talking to people. I do not.
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post 1555605821 07-06-2018, 06:13 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I don't think i'm better than them i just don't want to talk to people at all unless i share a connection or i'm attracted to them. I am the only person i know that is like this. Everyone else seems to get joy talking to people. I do not.
Everybody only wants to talk to people that they have some sort of connection to.

It's only the people that kiss people's asses that talk and act nosy just for the sake of doing so. You can spot those kind of people a mile away.

Keep looking and sign up for things that interest you. If you like gaming, bowling, golf, w/e there's plenty of clubs you can find people. I do notice though that it's very strange walking up to a stranger and offering to be their friend. Most people aren't going to be very accepting of strangers in their friend circle either.

Which is why you need to find some place to be at long term and ease into getting to know the regulars there. The gym is literally the best place if you can find a smaller one and not a commercial gym and finding those type of people. You introduce yourself, say something that you notice in your immediate vicinity or something that can strike up a conversation like "I like your shirt dude - where'd you get it?" etc.
post 1555605861 07-06-2018, 06:14 PM
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The quicker you can make the other person feel comfortable enough to be themselves, the quicker they'll become a friend. That's the true key secret.
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post 1555605971 07-06-2018, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted By MichaelDuong⏩
There's your problem then.

You'll never make friends if you look down on people. You find people who share similar values to you and you make friends with them. You don't have to kiss everybody's ass and I definitely wouldn't either but sometimes you need to stop thinking you're better than other people.

Look at them as equals. Talk and listen to people and learn to care about what they actually say. Only then can you make a friend. You need to get the stick out your ass that's saying you're better than other people - because let's face it: you're not.
That feel when words of wisdom from a 17 year old high school kid have the potential to enlighten to a 30 year old manchild's myopic mind but will likely fall on deaf ears.

Unfortunately people are not receptive to advice unless they have already opened their mind to the possibility of change. That's the catch 22 for people like OP who has been in the withering away in the clutches of depression for years.
Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I don't think i'm better than them i just don't want to talk to people at all unless i share a connection or i'm attracted to them. I am the only person i know that is like this. Everyone else seems to get joy talking to people. I do not.
How can you know if you share a connection before you speak with someone?

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post 1555606621 07-06-2018, 06:28 PM
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You can't force friendship. You can either talk to people or you can't
post 1555607621 07-06-2018, 06:46 PM
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Originally Posted By PisseninMisc⏩
That feel when words of wisdom from a 17 year old high school kid have the potential to enlighten to a 30 year old manchild's myopic mind but will likely fall on deaf ears.

Unfortunately people are not receptive to advice unless they have already opened their mind to the possibility of change. That's the catch 22 for people like OP who has been in the withering away in the clutches of depression for years.



How can you know if you share a connection before you speak with someone?

I can sense if i like a person upon meeting them.

I usually only talk to other introverts who i share an interest in (which is almost impossible to find) or women i'm attracted to. I avoid everyone else because i'm anti social.
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post 1555607681 07-06-2018, 06:47 PM
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post 1555607781 07-06-2018, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I can sense if i like a person upon meeting them.

I usually only talk to other introverts who i share an interest in (which is almost impossible to find) or women i'm attracted to. I avoid everyone else because i'm anti social.
There's your ego coming again thinking you're better than other people.

I don't understand the whole talking to people who you're only interested in. How do you know they're interesting if you don't talk to them? Generally people have "auras" about them and you're probably putting out a douchey/creeper one. There's a lot of times where I think certain people are douches just from the way they look but after talking to them they turned out to be cool guys.

Plus if you only like people because of their external features and begin talking to them only because of that then your friendship isn't going very far. I don't think I've ever made a friend just because I think they look good. That'd be homo as fukk cuzz.

The anti-social thing I can understand because I hate talking to people in general too. People will tell me I'm very quiet IRL but the fact of the matter is I'm about the loudest person in the room when I'm with people I'm comfortable with. Often times I have to get myself out of my own comfort zone to start talking to people and then it stops being a forced thing but rather natural because the conversation captivates me in some way. Then I've got a new pal. Easy as that.
post 1555608011 07-06-2018, 06:53 PM
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post 1555608161 07-06-2018, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted By MichaelDuong⏩
There's your ego coming again thinking you're better than other people.

I don't understand the whole talking to people who you're only interested in. How do you know they're interesting if you don't talk to them? Generally people have "auras" about them and you're probably putting out a douchey/creeper one. There's a lot of times where I think certain people are douches just from the way they look but after talking to them they turned out to be cool guys.

Plus if you only like people because of their external features and begin talking to them only because of that then your friendship isn't going very far. I don't think I've ever made a friend just because I think they look good. That'd be homo as fukk cuzz.

The anti-social thing I can understand because I hate talking to people in general too. People will tell me I'm very quiet IRL but the fact of the matter is I'm about the loudest person in the room when I'm with people I'm comfortable with. Often times I have to get myself out of my own comfort zone to start talking to people and then it stops being a forced thing but rather natural because the conversation captivates me in some way. Then I've got a new pal. Easy as that.
I don't even want male friends dude. I mean if there is a strong connection like they like metal or weather i could be their friend, other than that i only want to talk to cute females. Hence the attraction part i was talking about. Either way i just want a connection. What good is life if you can't even talk to someone about things you are interested in? Every time i talk to people it's some dumb small talk that never goes anywhere. My gf doesn't even like anything i like.....again no connection. Like the dude i'm training at work. Decent dude but there is zero connection, and like i said studies prove that you have to spend 40-60 hours wit someone to even be a casual friend.
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post 1555608321 07-06-2018, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Yeah a small gym is a great place to make friends. I'm at a big commercial gym now but used to go to a small private gym where everyone socialized with each other. Regularly got invited to parties and social gatherings and people were very talkative and friendly.

Needs to be a small specialty type gym though for that type of social environment. Like maybe a powerlifting gym or crossfit gym etc.
Only weird people talk to me at the gym. All the attractive girls or introvert bros have their ear buds in. Some dude at my gym literally goes around tapping people on the shoulder to talk to them. I hate socializing there. Plus you have to avoid the blatant steroid guys who are posing in the mirror all day.
PC specs

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Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
post 1555608771 07-06-2018, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted By stevemckenna⏩
People will want to be friends with you if you tell them you were in the Fast and the Furious movies.
Or at the very least tell them you live your life a quarter mile at a time and they can work it out for themselves.
post 1555609801 07-06-2018, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I don't even want male friends dude. I mean if there is a strong connection like they like metal or weather i could be their friend, other than that i only want to talk to cute females.
Finally
post 1555609891 07-06-2018, 07:30 PM
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post 1555610301 07-06-2018, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I can sense if i like a person upon meeting them.

I usually only talk to other introverts who i share an interest in (which is almost impossible to find) or women i'm attracted to. I avoid everyone else because i'm anti social.
You can sense it huh? Like a spidey sense sort of thing?

The problem here isn't external. It's internal, namely that you are unwilling to change.

You see yourself as an anti social person who has very specific requirement for friendship that a very limited number of people can meet. Unless you're willing to change that, you will not find many friends. You know who can find friends easily? A social guy who is down to hang out with random people and learn about interests outside of metal and lifting. If you're willing to become that person, you will succeed.

The disconnect here is that you believe you can never be such a person. Unfortunately the only way for you to have a chance at changing yourself is to open your mind to this possibility.

Consider this: you claim to be anti social yet are clearly longing for human connection. It's not the anti social nature of your personality that prevents you from reaching out to others, it's other aspects of your personality. Think about the possibility that you're not anti social and open your mind.

Good luck bro, as much as I think you're a sad kunt and fawkin hate your ****gy posts, have been reading your posts on here for years now. Really hope you can find some peace man, it's obvious you're hurting.
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post 1555610431 07-06-2018, 07:39 PM
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I'm lucky to have known my 5 best friends since preschool so about 25+ years (28 now). We all have the same mentality too for the most part which is great.
post 1555610581 07-06-2018, 07:41 PM
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post 1555612081 07-06-2018, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I don't even want male friends dude. I mean if there is a strong connection like they like metal or weather i could be their friend, other than that i only want to talk to cute females. Hence the attraction part i was talking about. Either way i just want a connection. What good is life if you can't even talk to someone about things you are interested in? Every time i talk to people it's some dumb small talk that never goes anywhere. My gf doesn't even like anything i like.....again no connection. Like the dude i'm training at work. Decent dude but there is zero connection, and like i said studies prove that you have to spend 40-60 hours wit someone to even be a casual friend.
I am really struggling to see why you don't have any friends, you seem a real joy to be around...
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