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Forum ยป Pondus_levo's dating log and general relationship advice/chat
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Thread: Pondus_levo's dating log and general relationship advice/chat

post 1560240361 09-01-2018, 02:33 PM
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#1321
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
So you just play games and try to make women chase you? Yeah, would not be interested in that. Those kind of games are stupid, IMO. Just like girls who try to make guys chase them. Like I said, it should be mutual.
I do chase to a certain degree (I think most guys do) but there's only so much chasing I will do before I just leave it alone. I've been in situations where the woman made it real easy for me and other situations where it felt like pulling teeth just to schedule a date. I agree it should be mutual but if a woman constantly makes you chase her, she's not interested. That's why a woman chasing a man shows she's interested.
post 1560242411 09-01-2018, 02:59 PM
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#1322
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Originally Posted By BlackScorpio91⏩
I do chase to a certain degree (I think most guys do) but there's only so much chasing I will do before I just leave it alone. I've been in situations where the woman made it real easy for me and other situations where it felt like pulling teeth just to schedule a date. I agree it should be mutual but if a woman constantly makes you chase her, she's not interested. That's why a woman chasing a man shows she's interested.
But that's exactly my point. I said it's not good for either gender to try to make someone chase them. There needs to be give and take equally. When I like someone, I will make it known. There will be no doubt. At that point it's up to him to reciprocate if he's interested. If he doesn't, then I'm out. I'm not going to freaking chase him down.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1560244111 09-01-2018, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
But that's exactly my point. I said it's not good for either gender to try to make someone chase them. There needs to be give and take equally. When I like someone, I will make it known. There will be no doubt. At that point it's up to him to reciprocate if he's interested. If he doesn't, then I'm out. I'm not going to freaking chase him down.
I completely agree. People are so obsessed with stupid fukking games when they should just communicate as they want to. If a girl takes a day to respond to me, I assume she isnโ€™t that interested.

Just have some interests and donโ€™t pander.
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post 1560247181 09-01-2018, 04:18 PM
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#1324
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I completely agree. People are so obsessed with stupid fukking games when they should just communicate as they want to. If a girl takes a day to respond to me, I assume she isnโ€™t that interested.

Just have some interests and donโ€™t pander.
Straight truth! I can't stand the games and it's why I've opted out of the whole dating scene. Who knew it could be wrong to respond relatively quickly to someone that you like texting you?! lol
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1560249621 09-01-2018, 05:03 PM
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#1325
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Straight truth! I can't stand the games and it's why I've opted out of the whole dating scene. Who knew it could be wrong to respond relatively quickly to someone that you like texting you?! lol
I used to bitch about how often and frequently my ex would text me, but on these dating apps people take on the order of days to respond. I get that you arenโ€™t a priority or whatever, but come on.
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post 1560250551 09-01-2018, 05:20 PM
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#1326
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I used to bitch about how often and frequently my ex would text me, but on these dating apps people take on the order of days to respond. I get that you arenโ€™t a priority or whatever, but come on.
In my world, if you take days to respond, you're not interested. No one is that busy.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1560251151 09-01-2018, 05:30 PM
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#1327
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Never had to wait for than 20 minutes for a text crew. But then again all the girls i ever talked to were into me. I will never chase a bish.
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post 1560252641 09-01-2018, 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
In my world, if you take days to respond, you're not interested. No one is that busy.
Ye idk tbh. Long response times seem to be typical, but maybe itโ€™s just me. After I met with the last girl we had more normal times. The apps are just majorly deprioritized.

One girl messaged me back 5 days later just saying sheโ€™s never on the app and gave me her number. Had a few texts back and forth, then ghosted as soon as I tried to set up a meet. Second girl to ghost as soon as I try set an actual meet.

I usually do a tit-for-tat thing in terms of effort, and that includes messaging. Iโ€™ll start off reasonably active, but if sheโ€™s taking a day Iโ€™ll just deprioritize her too.

Tit-for-tat is a great strategy for life in general. Initiate with kindness/respect etc., and if it isnโ€™t returned then treat them how they treat you or exit.
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post 1560253061 09-01-2018, 06:06 PM
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#1329
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Ye idk tbh. Long response times seem to be typical, but maybe itโ€™s just me. After I met with the last girl we had more normal times. The apps are just majorly deprioritized.

One girl messaged me back 5 days later just saying sheโ€™s never on the app and gave me her number. Had a few texts back and forth, then ghosted as soon as I tried to set up a meet. Second girl to ghost as soon as I try set an actual meet.

I usually do a tit-for-tat thing in terms of effort, and that includes messaging. Iโ€™ll start off reasonably active, but if sheโ€™s taking a day Iโ€™ll just deprioritize her too.

Tit-for-tat is a great strategy for life in general. Initiate with kindness/respect etc., and if it isnโ€™t returned then treat them how they treat you or exit.
Sounds like those girls might be on there for the attention rather than really wanting to date. Why would you be on a dating app and not want to meet people? It's all so weird to me. lol

Yes, I'm the same way. I'll actually just stop texting if someone takes days to text me back. Honestly, why even bother at that point?
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1560253691 09-01-2018, 06:16 PM
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#1330
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Sounds like those girls might be on there for the attention rather than really wanting to date. Why would you be on a dating app and not want to meet people? It's all so weird to me. lol
I have no fukkin idea, but itโ€™s a giant waste of my time. Itโ€™s part of the massively tedious process of online dating it seems.

I do not understand some of these people, srs.
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post 1560255421 09-01-2018, 06:49 PM
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#1331
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I have no fukkin idea, but itโ€™s a giant waste of my time. Itโ€™s part of the massively tedious process of online dating it seems.

I do not understand some of these people, srs.
I'm with you on that. It's why I got off online dating sites and will never get on again.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1560255921 09-01-2018, 06:59 PM
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#1332
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
In my world, if you take days to respond, you're not interested. No one is that busy.
Iโ€™m that busy. Trying to do a
Fulltime electrical engineering degree and working a partime job.
I can take days to respond when the work load gets intense.
I donโ€™t know why Iโ€™m even on there since I donโ€™t have any free time to actually meet anyone.

This on on the app. If I actually get s number I will make it more of a priority to return a message.
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post 1560256171 09-01-2018, 07:02 PM
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#1333
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Originally Posted By BetaThanU⏩
Iโ€™m that busy. Trying to do a
Fulltime electrical engineering degree and working a partime job.
I can take days to respond when the work load gets intense.
Do you let the girls you're talking to know this up front? Because that's different. Yes, some people have very busy times, however, it takes literally 2 seconds to send a quick text saying you're really busy with work and you'll text when you can.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1560259211 09-01-2018, 07:49 PM
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#1334
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Originally Posted By intense77⏩
If you guys are looking for a relationship hop on Match.com and give it a shot - I decided to try it out about a month ago and landed a ton of dates. The problem is, I am real picky and almost all of these women are very boring/basic and just don't do it for me, there was no spark.

The plus to all this is that there are some attractive ones and you can work on your game with women who actually have the intention to go on dates with you, I was able to hook up with any of the ones I wanted on date 2-3 but for the most part they would withhold sex for "an official boyfriend."
You just have to build up the sexual tension before your first date, if you want to get laid on the first date. Doesn't matter which website/app you use.
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Tit-for-tat is a great strategy for life in general. Initiate with kindness/respect etc., and if it isnโ€™t returned then treat them how they treat you or exit.
This never chase. Take initiative, but if you don't see results, be quick to walk.





This is great advice and what I have been trying to tell FA's on this forum for 15 years.

Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1560477381 09-04-2018, 06:46 PM
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#1335
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Originally Posted By otakutrevan⏩
Like 8.2+++/10. Accent, vibe, and body were all on point

Thanks mayne


Its a bit more complex than that, but that's kinda spot on at the same time. Long story short I think foreign women (of all races) like me because they don't have societal expectations of what I "should be" (thanks media) . A white chick from Romania, or a black girl from Ghana hasn't been brainwashed to think I'm a black nerdy "white washed" dude. They just see me as a individual that has his **** together and isn't afraid to be a man.
there could be something to this. It seems like the "nerdy" blacks either end up with white chicks with a fetish or foreigners
post 1560513781 09-05-2018, 09:06 AM
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#1336
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Boyos its 2018, unless her job does not allow her to have her phone at her side, perceive it as lack of interest if she takes longer than a couple hours on the reg, nevermind a day. Think back to the times when you were dating somebody who was interested in you. Yeah, for the most part they responded within a few minutes, right? Some do play games at the start of dating, but it just means you haven't hooked her hard enough.

One thing I've learned over the years, when a woman is truly into you, she wants to hear from you shortly after waking up. Yes sometimes she will hold out to see if you will reciprocate (and you should, but less than her). I live with my gf, wake up together to get ready for work and she still texts me good morning at a 4:1 ratio.
post 1563395671 10-10-2018, 07:20 PM
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#1337
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Originally Posted By Nedo⏩
Boyos its 2018, unless her job does not allow her to have her phone at her side, perceive it as lack of interest if she takes longer than a couple hours on the reg, nevermind a day. Think back to the times when you were dating somebody who was interested in you. Yeah, for the most part they responded within a few minutes, right? Some do play games at the start of dating, but it just means you haven't hooked her hard enough.

One thing I've learned over the years, when a woman is truly into you, she wants to hear from you shortly after waking up. Yes sometimes she will hold out to see if you will reciprocate (and you should, but less than her). I live with my gf, wake up together to get ready for work and she still texts me good morning at a 4:1 ratio.
You know a woman is really interested if she texts you good morning and good night.

Update

So the relationship with the other woman from June died down and we pretty much just ended up ghosting each other. I just wasn't into it and I think she picked up on it and started getting distancing her self, too.

After that, the hot crazy chick contacted me, so we went out to lunch. It actually went really well, but then we made plans for the following Sunday to get brunch and she canceled on me, stating that I was too high class for her. lol... okay? Keeps contacting me and telling me how much she wants to see me and then cancels again.

I think went out with a gorgeous woman that is from Bulgaria. We hit it of really well, but our scheduled didn't allow us to meet for 2 weeks and then out of the blue she said she's too wrapped up in her kid's custody battle to give me her full attention and ended it. Super bummed about that one because she was also ridiculously smart to boot.

The hot ass 28 YO I went out with for a couple months when I first started dating again contacted me a couple of months ago. Which she's done randomly over the past couple of years. She just had her first kid and is living with baby daddy. I guess they were roommates at first, and then started dating, and then she got pregnant. She asked me why I didn't peruse her harder and I reminded her it was because she was very clear she wanted kids of her own and didn't want to be a step-mom. hah.

I signed up for Hinge the other day and already have 11 matches and they are absolute babes. I don't think I've even looked at more than 50 profiles so far. I really wasn't expecting that. I'll probably start msging them over the next few days.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1563409071 10-10-2018, 10:59 PM
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#1338
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post some pics for us from hinge?
I keep pushing because I think I'm untouchable. But I'll learn the hard way because I'm only a popcorn fart away from a 30 day ban.
post 1563409391 10-10-2018, 11:07 PM
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#1339
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Originally Posted By Lightsoft⏩
post some pics for us from hinge?
What do you want to see?
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1563410161 10-10-2018, 11:27 PM
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#1340
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
What do you want to see?
the girls pic please that you are matching with.
I keep pushing because I think I'm untouchable. But I'll learn the hard way because I'm only a popcorn fart away from a 30 day ban.
post 1563439011 10-11-2018, 10:49 AM
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#1341
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Originally Posted By Lightsoft⏩
the girls pic please that you are matching with.
I try to refrain from posting pictures of women I am actively perusing. I think its bad luck.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1563540261 10-12-2018, 02:18 PM
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#1342
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So, my ex-wife called me yesterday and told me she's moving to Virginia to live with her mom because she can't get on her feet here. She's been trying for 3 years and has a **** load of roadblocks preventing her from getting a job in the field she went to school for. Which is not her fault, it's the school's, but she's never tried getting a job just to pay the bills.

The beta in me feels extremely guilt. :/
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1563541491 10-12-2018, 02:32 PM
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#1343
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
So, my ex-wife called me yesterday and told me she's moving to Virginia to live with her mom because she can't get on her feet here. She's been trying for 3 years and has a **** load of roadblocks preventing her from getting a job in the field she went to school for. Which is not her fault, it's the school's, but she's never tried getting a job just to pay the bills.

The beta in me feels extremely guilt. :/
So.. your kids are moving to VA?
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post 1563542001 10-12-2018, 02:39 PM
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#1344
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
So.. your kids are moving to VA?
No, they live with me full time.

Never going to have to pay a dime in child support crew*
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1563592081 10-13-2018, 08:10 AM
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#1345
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
So, my ex-wife called me yesterday and told me she's moving to Virginia to live with her mom because she can't get on her feet here. She's been trying for 3 years and has a **** load of roadblocks preventing her from getting a job in the field she went to school for. Which is not her fault, it's the school's, but she's never tried getting a job just to pay the bills.

The beta in me feels extremely guilt. :/
Why would you feel guilty? She's fully capable of working, she just refuses to "lower" herself to find a decent job that will pay the bills. F that. I can't stand it when people complain about being unemployed because they won't accept a job that is not in their supposed field. Everyone can find some type of job to bring some money in. Some money is better than no money.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1563609361 10-13-2018, 12:46 PM
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#1346
  1. FAPhaggot
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
No, they live with me full time.

Never going to have to pay a dime in child support crew*
Strong asterisk.
FA Crew
Always Pick 1 Crew

"Experience is something you get right after you need it."
post 1563610231 10-13-2018, 12:59 PM
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#1347
  1. Luc1fer
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
No, they live with me full time.

Never going to have to pay a dime in child support crew*
Rare for a man to get that custody, congrats.
๐•ฎ๐–๐–†๐–˜๐–Š ๐–† ๐–ˆ๐–๐–Š๐–ˆ๐•ถ, ๐–“๐–Š๐–›๐–Š๐–— ๐–ˆ๐–๐–†๐–˜๐–Š ๐–† ๐–‡๐–Ž๐–™๐–ˆ๐–

โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘๐ŸงตMake trolls invisible: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆ
post 1563792981 10-15-2018, 06:48 PM
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#1348
  1. caca_man
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Hey Dudes, Didn't want to make a new thread but I need some advice. Long Story short:


* Dated a girl for 4 months and she dumped me because of my beta behavior (Ended October 2017)

* Sep 2018 (Almost 1 year later) some comes back into my life & We gone on 2 dates so far. Everything seems good so far

* She text me yesterday ... "I've been thinking and I'm a little confused. To be honest I'm not really digging the fact that this is all very one sided. Like it feels like im putting in all the effort to make things happen, I feel like I deserve better than that."


What should I do going forward? keep doing what Im doing (NEVER reach out first and when she does setup dates?) or should I be putting in more effort? aka chasing her aka Texting her more etc? showing her that I care? for the last month she's been doing 100% of the pursuing.
post 1563800201 10-15-2018, 08:05 PM
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#1349
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Originally Posted By caca_man⏩
Hey Dudes, Didn't want to make a new thread but I need some advice. Long Story short:


* Dated a girl for 4 months and she dumped me because of my beta behavior (Ended October 2017)

* Sep 2018 (Almost 1 year later) some comes back into my life & We gone on 2 dates so far. Everything seems good so far

* She text me yesterday ... "I've been thinking and I'm a little confused. To be honest I'm not really digging the fact that this is all very one sided. Like it feels like im putting in all the effort to make things happen, I feel like I deserve better than that."


What should I do going forward? keep doing what Im doing (NEVER reach out first and when she does setup dates?) or should I be putting in more effort? aka chasing her aka Texting her more etc? showing her that I care? for the last month she's been doing 100% of the pursuing.
Ask her out and set up a date. Other than that stay being a challenge. She's looking for affirmation, you'll be beta in no time. Don't make the same mistake twice
post 1563826501 10-16-2018, 06:42 AM
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#1350
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Originally Posted By caca_man⏩
* She text me yesterday ... "I've been thinking and I'm a little confused. To be honest I'm not really digging the fact that this is all very one sided. Like it feels like im putting in all the effort to make things happen, I feel like I deserve better than that."


What should I do going forward? keep doing what Im doing (NEVER reach out first and when she does setup dates?) or should I be putting in more effort? aka chasing her aka Texting her more etc? showing her that I care? for the last month she's been doing 100% of the pursuing.
This made me howl. Yeah man, you got to put in more effort. She should reach out more, but you still need to reciprocate or else she feels you ain't interested. However, she doubted you once and prob will again so be mindful of this. If you want to continue, just BS and tell her "given you were the one to break things off, I want to be certain this is what you want so I have let you come to me. I understand how you feel and will put in more effort". Don't go full beta though either, balance.
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