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Forum » 90% of dudes not getting laid is due to an underdeveloped personality - NOT LOOKS
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Thread: 90% of dudes not getting laid is due to an underdeveloped personality - NOT LOOKS

post 1566218701 11-14-2018, 12:37 PM
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#61
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Originally Posted By mandarin163⏩
Personality is nothing but a meme, a sloot decides your "personality" ie your face within the first 10 seconds of seeing you.

Of course there are outliers (very rare) but anyone saying its their personality pulling sloots are simply just better looking than they think.
ok so what do you think will happen after the initial "hi"?

are you really going to pray for your looks to cover up the fact that you're an awkward kunt
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post 1566218761 11-14-2018, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted By BrightThru2014⏩
Issue is personality is largely developed through socialization with the opposite sex that takes place during childhood to late adolescence, by the time most men are adults they have lived through a lifetime of rejection by women and are utterly and permanently stunted.

It may no longer be looks, but it was their looks to begin with that shaped their present social skills.
that's an interesting take and may be true to some extent, but short of someone having actual autism where they can't interact with anyone, there's nothing permanent about.

the key here is that you make a distinction between interacting with the same sex and the opposite sex. that is the mistake every dude makes. i talk to women like they're dudes and we're shooting the chit.

i'm sure that most miscers/FAs are able to have a good time with other dudes and make them laugh etc. just do that with women as well.

the irony is that all you have to do is misc in real life. say cheeky chit and have a good time. you'll get repped with pussy srs
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1566218791 11-14-2018, 12:38 PM
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You can always go Big Game Hunting to get out of slump. Once you tag a few heffers you'll stop acting like a horny sociopath.
post 1566219371 11-14-2018, 12:44 PM
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brb, just need a brain transplant from ratfish
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post 1566219741 11-14-2018, 12:48 PM
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I thought it was due to an underdeveloped skull due to mouth breathing OP.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
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post 1566219771 11-14-2018, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
I thought it was due to an underdeveloped skull due to mouth breathing OP.
not teaching your toddler how to mew is criminal neglect
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post 1566220071 11-14-2018, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
i don't try to impress people, although i do try to make them laugh because that's fun for everyone. i've had a few times at bars where i've been a bit tipsy and basically doing a standup routine in front of a bunch of strangers who are loling hard at everything i say. have had gals walk up and introduce themselves brazenly afterward too srs.

everyone is afraid of who they are. just think of how few people on this site post their faces. what are you afraid of? strangers making fun of you? if you can't handle some heat from anonymous *******s, how are you going to impress anyone in real life?

i turn off uninteresting pretty gals all the time. don't give a fukk. there's always another gal.

i pulled sort of a heist recently where i went to a bar and started talking to this 26yo gal who is about as cute as the one i posted in that other thread. i was rekt but i told her that she looked like she was in love with the bartender, which she was. i also randomly said, "you look like you have a nemesis at work named Sharon" which was also true, but i can't even tell you how i guessed that lol. anyway, she's fukken cool and we hung out one night and crawled a million bars and at some point i stopped her and she asked if i was gonna try to kiss her and i said, "may as well get it out of the way." later on that night i was fingering her at her place (10/10 playboy pussy aesthetics) but i had smashed an ex earlier in the day and hadn't showered and wasn't gonna go full scummaxxx and smash this one. also, it's cool to fool around but not necessarily smash a gal who is a friend. she would be an excellent wingwoman.

anyway, she ended up dating that bartender or some chit and he's a lot taller and better looking than me and he absolutely hates me lol. every time he sees me, he looks fukken shook because he knows. one time, before the night where she got naked, she texted me to come to the bar to make him jealous because he wasn't paying attention to her. i was in an uber a mile away so i just diverted to there. i sit down next to her and say, "make him jealous, eh? so like...grab your tits?" she says "oh, that's a great idea, but wait until he looks away" wait wut, but i wasn't gonna dispute. she then says "no, under the shirt" and she wasn't wearing a bra. that was a fun night.

having typed all that out, i realize now that my stories have no pertinence to your question. let that sink in lol
What bar was this at? Portland brah checking in. Gave up the Portland club life after this summer, too loud and just filled with college sloots that I can’t relate to anymore. It always ends up being me and my friends standing around just talking to each other looking like *******s. I don’t cold approach girls unless I’ve had a fair amount of drinks. Been going to local bars on Alberta lately and having a much better time
"Stop sitting back saying yeah man, I wanna be this, I wanna be that, grab your phucking nuts and be it" -Greg Plitt

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post 1566220271 11-14-2018, 12:54 PM
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True op, ratfish on some gospel too.
post 1566220631 11-14-2018, 12:59 PM
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I’ve pulled fitness chicks off social media, I’ve pulled 21 year old 9/10’s from a random 4th of July party, I’ve pulled the love of my life out of a bar, I pulled the girl I married from a movie theater.


I also struck out terribly with a girl from co-ed softball and ruined a social circle.

I’ve turned down fat girls and ruined social circles.

I lost a doctor by messing around with multiple women at the same time.

I pulled countless good and bad girls from dating apps.


Pulled borderline chicks from dating apps over to the house for netflix and couldn't even get it up. Sent them home in disgrace LOL



Doing all of this while I was a skinny fat average looking dude with a sub 6 figure salary. At the end of the day, I put in the effort and even if I struck out horribly and ruined friend circles doing it…..i TRIED.
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post 1566220641 11-14-2018, 12:59 PM
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I noticed that most people doing street promotion (or maybe sales) learned to be outgoing and to make people laugh and feel good. Pretty much the same happens when you approach a lot of girls.

I feel like being honest, open and neither hiding my insecurities nor my accomplishments makes most people like me. I am introverted by nature but I learned to lead conversations and now it's fun and just flows.
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post 1566221161 11-14-2018, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted By Better
not teaching your toddler how to mew is criminal neglect
You consistently make me LOL dude. Never change.
Originally Posted By LikeAMachine⏩
I’ve pulled fitness chicks off social media, I’ve pulled 21 year old 9/10’s from a random 4th of July party, I’ve pulled the love of my life out of a bar, I pulled the girl I married from a movie theater.


I also struck out terribly with a girl from co-ed softball and ruined a social circle.

I’ve turned down fat girls and ruined social circles.

I lost a doctor by messing around with multiple women at the same time.

I pulled countless good and bad girls from dating apps.

Doing all of this while I was a skinny fat average looking dude with a sub 6 figure salary. At the end of the day, I put in the effort and even if I struck out horribly and ruined friend circles doing it…..i TRIED.
I've told people here on the misc in RH that you have to play to win when it comes to talking to women and approaching. You have to be willing to lose. I've struck out before with some girls for being too sexual too soon, but some women liked it. The thing is that these are just regular chicks. They are human. You just have to tap into their psyche.

Confidence is transient for me though but working on yourself really does make you an overall better catch. You can pass a girls looks but have a great personality and win them over. Just keep at it.

LikeAMachine you've seem to have done a ton of work. Props for your resilience.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
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post 1566221571 11-14-2018, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
that's an interesting take and may be true to some extent, but short of someone having actual autism where they can't interact with anyone, there's nothing permanent about.

the key here is that you make a distinction between interacting with the same sex and the opposite sex. that is the mistake every dude makes. i talk to women like they're dudes and we're shooting the chit.

i'm sure that most miscers/FAs are able to have a good time with other dudes and make them laugh etc. just do that with women as well.

the irony is that all you have to do is misc in real life. say cheeky chit and have a good time. you'll get repped with pussy srs
How and where do you develop those skills later in life, especially when you are working all the time and given the #metoo generation which strongly discourages non-professional communications and relationships? You can't begin to learn if you don't have the skills to put yourself in a position to learn without coming across extremely poorly in the first place. I agree there might be an "upward spiral" once you get that first girlfriend and/or develop a social circle, but that first step is extremely difficult.

It's very hard for me to "shoot the ****" with girls I am attracted to, I get immediately nervous because of the underlying sexual subtext (which exists in my mind). This is definitely due to poor socialization when I was younger (late bloomer) but I have no idea how to overcome it. For the most part it doesn't effect my life because I don't work with women my age and oddly enough I have no issues once I am IN a relationship, but I have absolutely no social circle or ability to interact with or meet girls who I am not dating.
post 1566221711 11-14-2018, 01:12 PM
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I don't cold approach as much as I used to. A buddy of mine on here is huge on cold approaching but I feel that reading body language, social cues, and the overall situation gives me the opportunity to get women. If I can gauge interest and a woman giving me signals I will have a higher chance of getting them.

One guy I listen to on YouTube mentions that sometimes you may not be a woman's 'type' but she may be emotionally available to be talked to and you can get her. People firmly believe in leagues and maybe they exist but I'm a huge MMA fan and if you know anything about the fight game is that anyone can win any night. Same with women. If you bring your A Game and actually READ the woman's signals you can win them over.

One conquest I had a few months ago was me going to a plush bar where we have a lot of events for entrepreneurs and other business people. I met this one chick that had her own business. She was sitting next to two men. I later slept with her that night. She told me that she was shocked how confident I was and how I just snatched her up from her two business associates like it was nothing. She was actually fun to talk to and I ended up having sex with her a few times before she moved and became friends with one of her business partners. Anyway I just read things correctly.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
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post 1566221941 11-14-2018, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted By Droopdx⏩
What bar was this at? Portland brah checking in. Gave up the Portland club life after this summer, too loud and just filled with college sloots that I can’t relate to anymore. It always ends up being me and my friends standing around just talking to each other looking like *******s. I don’t cold approach girls unless I’ve had a fair amount of drinks. Been going to local bars on Alberta lately and having a much better time
what you describe is what my brehs always wanna do. they wanna post up near the bar where there are tons of hot sloots like Rontoms or Doug Fir and then do absolutely nothing all night. i go to dive bars/neighborhood bars where there are fewer super hot sloots, but they're almost all down to earth and fun to talk to. when i finish my cut on new years, let's gather up some portland miscers and hit up some spots. inb4 weaponized autism
Originally Posted By BrightThru2014⏩
How and where do you develop those skills later in life, especially when you are working all the time and given the #metoo generation which strongly discourages non-professional communications and relationships? You can't begin to learn if you don't have the skills to put yourself in a position to learn without coming across extremely poorly in the first place. I agree there might be an "upward spiral" once you get that first girlfriend and/or develop a social circle, but that first step is extremely difficult.

It's very hard for me to "shoot the ****" with girls I am attracted to, I get immediately nervous because of the underlying sexual subtext (which exists in my mind). This is definitely due to poor socialization when I was younger (late bloomer) but I have no idea how to overcome it. For the most part it doesn't effect my life because I don't work with women my age and oddly enough I have no issues once I am IN a relationship, but I have absolutely no social circle or ability to interact with or meet girls who I am not dating.
the problem is a simple switch in your mind where you give a fukk about the outcome. you're entering a conversation trying to enter her pussy. you need to realize that you don't know her and she doesn't have any value. you have value. your life is a one player game. fukk her and fukk everyone else. you need to be happy. it is your only true purpose in life. do what makes you happy in these conversations and you will either get the girl or not. let the fates decide, because it ultimately doesn't matter. there is no super important gal. there is no oneitis. you don't need to invest anything in these conversations. this is a pretty girl you just met. you think she's better than you? why? she needs to prove herself to you. this is her interview, not yours. this is your fukken life, man. they only issue you one.

this applies to a lot more than talking to women. if you're having a good time, so are other people around you. you'll be more successful in everything you do. you need to hunt that self-doubt like a terminator and eviscerate it.
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1566222131 11-14-2018, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
You consistently make me LOL dude. Never change.



I've told people here on the misc in RH that you have to play to win when it comes to talking to women and approaching. You have to be willing to lose. I've struck out before with some girls for being too sexual too soon, but some women liked it. The thing is that these are just regular chicks. They are human. You just have to tap into their psyche.

Confidence is transient for me though but working on yourself really does make you an overall better catch. You can pass a girls looks but have a great personality and win them over. Just keep at it.

LikeAMachine you've seem to have done a ton of work. Props for your resilience.
I struck out a TON at first. Learned most of what I know from trial and error.....RH chat had a TON of good advice that I was too stubborn to use until I learned it myself.

There were so sooo many awkward moments....for example....

pulled a chick from a dating app.....date went great...had too many drinks, went back to hers and nutted way too quick (was worried about going limp so I pushed hard lol). I at least wanted a chance to redeem myself but she ghosted me....

Fast forward to a "Columbus Young Professionals" gathering....I see her....she says hi....here is where the cringe comes in....I asked what happened back then, she tried to play it coy saying "what do you mean"....

NOW, experience tells me I need to leave it alone forget it and maybe TONIGHT can be the night.... her playing dumb was my cue to get out of this with minimal embarrassment. Back then I was dumb, I went in about how she didn't text me back....ugh cringing just thinking about it. She says "yeah hit me up".


Needless to say she did not respond to my texts. It's these small interactions where if you self reflect, you can find improvement.
(っ◕‿◕)っ
post 1566222421 11-14-2018, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
my entire squad is substantially better looking than i am but when we're talking to sloots, they completely disappear. my one good buddy got pissed when he went to take a leak and i started making out with the chick he liked. i told her that he was interested in her and would be pissed but she said she didn't care and didn't like him.

i had another time where i was in the patio section of a bar being a real piece of chit and this sloot with absolutely gargantuan tits says "that guy is hot (pointing to some random dude), your friend has nice arms, but you're the only one i wanna fukk." incidentally, she ended up being a squirter and absolutely ruined her corolla. lol

every fukken post on the misc is about chad this, chad that, my genetics are inferior, woe is me. all fukken bullchit. i'm a bald, decrepit sewer creature and i can steal chad's girl by sheer force of personality.
Thanks for actually responding man I’m just a FA trying to figure this social chit out tired of being lonely. What I get from your posts here is that you just go with the positive flow and try to add to it instead of trying to force your image onto the vibe which kills it and excludes you from the fun.

That’s legit what I do as an introvert quiet dude. I try to protect myself and it cripples me. I’m afraid of being punished for being myself.
post 1566222511 11-14-2018, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Basiliskboy⏩
Thanks for actually responding man I’m just a FA trying to figure this social chit out tired of being lonely. What I get from your posts here is that you just go with the positive flow and try to add to it instead of trying to force your image onto the vibe which kills it and excludes you from the fun.

That’s legit what I do as an introvert quiet dude. I try to protect myself and it cripples me. I’m afraid of being punished for being myself.
The words "quiet introvert" is a cop out. That's like a girl saying she is "just big boned".
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post 1566222541 11-14-2018, 01:20 PM
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also

1) guys who go to clubs full of guys. c'mon.
2) guys who go to clubs full of chicks who are regular barflys. You can never talk to them cuz they're always surrounded by their orbiters.
3) indians who go to clubs hitting on girls who are surrounded by tons of friends. THey have zero desire to be seen flirting with an ethick. So AVOID rock/goth/country clubs where women are regulars. (hint: hot superficial white women and indians are like guys and fat chicks lol).

but first LOOKS MAX and GET CURRENCY.
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post 1566222631 11-14-2018, 01:21 PM
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its true. most people have the personality of a brick and when they try to talk to someone who has the personality of a dry wall, things don't work .

90% of men and 90% of women are boring ass hoes
post 1566222971 11-14-2018, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted By MyBaddBrah⏩
The way to personality max is literally just get people laughing and feeling good. Drop the "character" you know as yourself. Focus on the energy/vibe.

Too many people try to charactermax (your ego, thinking you're important,you're not), instead of focusing on the raw energy and building up a vibe. People are too protective of their character/image, putting too much energy in looking/being cool.

The Chad already gets laid by looking/being cool because social conditioning has built his character up. If you're not a Chad, you have to do the work yourself

Thats why the introvert/extrovert thing is BS. The introvert is simply too cowardly to surrender his ego/image. You gotta take the leap of faith sooner or later boyos. Extroverts are just people who took that leap at an earlier age. They got momentum.

"Developing" a personality is a paradox, because you need to be doing less (less filtering/worrying/protecting your character), not more. That's ultimately what being yourself means, there's no effort. Like Bruce Lee said "Be water"
Getting people to laugh and feel good is because of your looks not "personality", look up the Halo effect.
post 1566223061 11-14-2018, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted By LikeAMachine⏩
I struck out a TON at first. Learned most of what I know from trial and error.....RH chat had a TON of good advice that I was too stubborn to use until I learned it myself.

There were so sooo many awkward moments....for example....

pulled a chick from a dating app.....date went great...had too many drinks, went back to hers and nutted way too quick (was worried about going limp so I pushed hard lol). I at least wanted a chance to redeem myself but she ghosted me....

Fast forward to a "Columbus Young Professionals" gathering....I see her....she says hi....here is where the cringe comes in....I asked what happened back then, she tried to play it coy saying "what do you mean"....

NOW, experience tells me I need to leave it alone forget it and maybe TONIGHT can be the night.... her playing dumb was my cue to get out of this with minimal embarrassment. Back then I was dumb, I went in about how she didn't text me back....ugh cringing just thinking about it. She says "yeah hit me up".

Needless to say she did not respond to my texts. It's these small interactions where if you self reflect, you can find improvement.
I still make missteps. I'm 35 and wish I figured this stuff out when I was younger. I didn't start to 'get it' until my mid 20s but the majority of that up until my early 30s I was in serious relationships. I've been single the past year and a half and picked things back up again. Being in a city and trying to navigate through different social circles and find interested women is a skill you have to hone.

Also learning how to be cordial to a girl who has ghosted you, or you bumping into girls you previously dated/had sex with and being mellow.

Sounds like the girl would have given you a second shot if you were cool. I want test this out with some girls that have ghosted me and I had sex with. Two chicks that have ghosted me I feel like I'd be a dick towards but I would have a higher chance of sleeping with them if I was cordial with them considering I had sex with them before.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1566223111 11-14-2018, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted By mandarin163⏩
Getting people to laugh and feel good is because of your looks not "personality", look up the Halo effect.
incorrect
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1566223221 11-14-2018, 01:27 PM
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How the fuk was I ever supposed to develop a personality as a child with no brothers that moved schools all the time and was alone at home most of the time? Parents never taught me chit about this and I thought I was content just doing my own thing at home, by the time I realized it wasn't normal it was too late and then I joined misc...
I do smash sloots from time to time but still a major social retard that will never change..
post 1566223371 11-14-2018, 01:29 PM
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#84
  1. Ratfish
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Originally Posted By SwimToTheMoon⏩
How the fuk was I ever supposed to develop a personality as a child with no brothers that moved schools all the time and was alone at home most of the time? Parents never taught me chit about this and I thought I was content just doing my own thing at home, by the time I realized it wasn't normal it was too late and then I joined misc...
I do smash sloots from time to time but still a major social retard that will never change..
doesn't matter

i had brothers but was super into computers/gaming as a kid and was really shy. had no success with gals until after high school

i would be willing to be a nohomoprobono instructor for you guys at bars after i finish cutting if you promise not to murder me
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1566223421 11-14-2018, 01:30 PM
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#85
  1. BrightThru2014
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
the problem is a simple switch in your mind where you give a fukk about the outcome. you're entering a conversation trying to enter her pussy. you need to realize that you don't know her and she doesn't have any value. you have value. your life is a one player game. fukk her and fukk everyone else. you need to be happy. it is your only true purpose in life. do what makes you happy in these conversations and you will either get the girl or not. let the fates decide, because it ultimately doesn't matter. there is no super important gal. there is no oneitis. you don't need to invest anything in these conversations. this is a pretty girl you just met. you think she's better than you? why? she needs to prove herself to you. this is her interview, not yours. this is your fukken life, man. they only issue you one.

this applies to a lot more than talking to women. if you're having a good time, so are other people around you. you'll be more successful in everything you do. you need to hunt that self-doubt like a terminator and eviscerate it.
Yeah this is just empty words. It's not possible for most people to logically reason their way out of a lifetime of reinforced discouragement, it's the equivalent of saying "just be more confident." The reality is if you don't enjoy the anonymity of a large metropolis, you will quickly alienate yourself even further if you clumsily try to "improve" your social skills with women. You are largely struck.

Personally, I am at peace with my life, I am attractive enough to find girlfriends but I recognize that I will never be a part of a larger social circle where I contribute any female friends. I have a few male friends and that's it. I also recognize that I am a lucky "chad-lite" minority, where I emerged in adulthood as an attractive male with a good job, so that I don't need to really rely on social circle and repeat interactions to build rapport as most men do to find women. For the majority, they are just plain screwed, or forced to settle for the first girl who gives them a chance (who will barely be attracted or loyal to them).
post 1566223461 11-14-2018, 01:30 PM
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#86
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Originally Posted By SwimToTheMoon⏩
How the fuk was I ever supposed to develop a personality as a child with no brothers that moved schools all the time and was alone at home most of the time? Parents never taught me chit about this and I thought I was content just doing my own thing at home, by the time I realized it wasn't normal it was too late and then I joined misc...
I do smash sloots from time to time but still a major social retard that will never change..
I was an only child up until I was 13. Had a stepdad that tried to teach me the ropes but I had an overprotective mother AND other overprotective women in my family. I didn't learn the skills until later from my stepdad and uncle until my early/mid 20s. Still honed them and surrounded myself around like minded men.

Oh yeah and I have a nerdy side to me lol.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

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post 1566223651 11-14-2018, 01:31 PM
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#87
  1. SwimToTheMoon
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
doesn't matter

i had brothers but was super into computers/gaming as a kid and was really shy. had no success with gals until after high school
Lol just 5 minutes of interaction with your brothers changes everything.. Spending whole weekends and holidays only speaking a few words (to your parents) fuks the way you interact with people your age..
post 1566223701 11-14-2018, 01:32 PM
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#88
  1. Ratfish
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Originally Posted By BrightThru2014⏩
Yeah this is just empty words.It's not possiblefor most people to logically reason their way out of a lifetime of reinforced discouragement, it's the equivalent of saying "just be more confident." The reality is if you don't enjoy the anonymity of a large metropolis, you will quickly alienate yourself even further if you clumsily try to "improve" your social skills with women. You are largely struck.

Personally, I am at peace with my life, I am attractive enough to find girlfriends but I recognize that I will never be a part of a larger social circle where I contribute any female friends. I have a few male friends and that's it. I also recognize that I am a lucky "chad-lite" minority, where I emerged in adulthood as an attractive male with a good job, so that I don't need to really rely on social circle and repeat interactions to build rapport as most men do to find women. For the majority, they are just plain screwed, or forced to settle for the first girl who gives them a chance.
saying something isn't possible makes it so. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy
Originally Posted By SwimToTheMoon⏩
Lol just 5 minutes of interaction with your brothers changes everything.. Spending whole weekends and holidays only speaking a few words (to your parents) fuks the way you interact with people your age..
what? you didn't go to school? if you were homeschooled, that hurdle is a bit higher
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1566223781 11-14-2018, 01:33 PM
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#89
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Originally Posted By mandarin163⏩
Getting people to laugh and feel good is because of your looks not "personality", look up the Halo effect.
Halo effect probably accounts for 10%. I guess stand up comedians are all Brad Pitt look alikes? lmao, dumbest thing i've heard

edit:

The halo effect is a type ofimmediatejudgement discrepancy, or cognitive bias, where a person makingan initial assessment of another person, place, or thing will assume ambiguous information based upon concrete information






luckily real life isn't Tinder
*Hole is Life Crew*
*Meditation Crew*
post 1566223971 11-14-2018, 01:35 PM
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#90
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