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Forum » I’m depressed I’ll never be this alpha :( (dead serious) (entire day ruined)
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Thread: I’m depressed I’ll never be this alpha :( (dead serious) (entire day ruined)

post 1584424841 07-22-2019, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted By Rajc⏩
rip OP, god probably pointed directly at you (and me aswell) and said "he will suffer"





happens to me all the time boyo
Why do you suffer?
post 1584437631 07-22-2019, 03:42 PM
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Fapped 3 times at work today, almost got a heart attack srs. All 3 times to sissy porn, which made me even more depressed - I looked at sissy subreddits (sissyology, tgandsissyrecovery, etc.) and pretty much everyone there is me in the future - got hooked on it because they were severely depressed porn addicts, then either ended up transitioning or began crossdressing and submitting to grindr dudes full time
post 1584437971 07-22-2019, 03:47 PM
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I feel you bro. I'm always considering suicide. Life is meaningless, and I don't think it's worth living I'd you're not enjoying it.
It doesn't get better. People just tell you that to dismiss your experience.
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I am not an incel, nor identify as one. I am simply here to have a good time discussing. My posts that may come off as offensive are all satirical and they have no harmful intent.
post 1584438011 07-22-2019, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted By SkinnyKappa⏩
Fapped 3 times at work today, almost got a heart attack srs. All 3 times to sissy porn, which made me even more depressed - I looked at sissy subreddits (sissyology, tgandsissyrecovery, etc.) and pretty much everyone there is me in the future - got hooked on it because they were severely depressed porn addicts, then either ended up transitioning or began crossdressing and submitting to grindr dudes full time
I fap 3x every day all i think about is sex dude. Something is wrong with me.
PC specs

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post 1584438461 07-22-2019, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I fap 3x every day all i think about is sex dude. Something is wrong with me.
I feel you bro.
I think my life quality would be much better if I had no sex drive.
Life is pretty much a sick joke.
Why give someone a high sex drive when you've already given him an ugly face and a slightly short stature.
Nature is so brutal that it becomes funny.
Lol
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post 1584438561 07-22-2019, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
I feel you bro.
I think my life quality would be much better if I had no sex drive.
Life is pretty much a sick joke.
Why give someone a high sex drive when you've already given him an ugly face and a slightly short stature.
Nature is so brutal that it becomes funny.
Lol
It's just retarded i've always been this way where literally all i think about is sex and i can't concentrate or do anything most of the time. The whole purpose is to have sex but a lot of men can't these days. I don't know how they cope.
PC specs

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post 1584438671 07-22-2019, 03:58 PM
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#37
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Originally Posted By SkinnyKappa⏩
BTW I feel my nipples like bounce when I go down the stairs, maybe this means too much estrogen or some other female hormone? Or is this normal? This happens to me every once in a while when I’m horny.
Pics of nipples?

OP.


Go to therapy.
post 1584438891 07-22-2019, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted By SkinnyKappa⏩
I’m only transgender when I’m depressed and horny.

No depression not horny (or horny) - alpha
Depressed but not horny - nothing, just a guy I guess
Depressed and horny - transwoman

Right now I’m depressed, when I wrote this I was not horny so was a guy, now I read redraider’s lesbian experience and now I’m getting dysphoria
holy chit this is disgusting I wish I could neg you
post 1584439131 07-22-2019, 04:04 PM
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
I feel you bro. I'm always considering suicide. Life is meaningless, and I don't think it's worth living I'd you're not enjoying it.
It doesn't get better. People just tell you that to dismiss your experience.
How long have you been in therapy/counselling?

How often do you say or write down the things you are grateful for?

How often do you pray for the well being of others, and yourself?
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
post 1584439431 07-22-2019, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
It's just retarded i've always been this way where literally all i think about is sex and i can't concentrate or do anything most of the time. The whole purpose is to have sex but a lot of men can't these days. I don't know how they cope.
I think the best way would be to get some chemical help. Some supplements* can kill your sex drive.
I might try those one day. I just don't wanna risk an enlarged prostate since I'm black.
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I am not an incel, nor identify as one. I am simply here to have a good time discussing. My posts that may come off as offensive are all satirical and they have no harmful intent.
post 1584439641 07-22-2019, 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
How long have you been in therapy/counselling?

How often do you say or write down the things you are grateful for?

How often do you pray for the well being of others, and yourself?
Those are simple distractions.
I do volunteer a lot.
After deep analysis, I just came to conclusion that this life isn't for me. I would have roped a long time ago if it wasn't for my mom. She already went through a lot. Losing her first son would completely destroy her.
I just tell myself that I'm just waiting for her to die so I can do it.
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I am not an incel, nor identify as one. I am simply here to have a good time discussing. My posts that may come off as offensive are all satirical and they have no harmful intent.
post 1584439891 07-22-2019, 04:16 PM
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
I think the best way would be to get some chemical help. Some supplements* can kill your sex drive.
I might try those one day. I just don't wanna risk an enlarged prostate since I'm black.
I tried something a few times and i hated not having a sex drive. I ended up flipping out srs.
PC specs

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post 1584440041 07-22-2019, 04:19 PM
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Please tell me you are in intensive therapy to help sort through your feelings, trauma and dysphoria.
Bench: 572lbs (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9RrAfn0TfkY&feature=youtu.be)
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post 1584440281 07-22-2019, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted By AusPower⏩
Please tell me you are in intensive therapy to help sort through your feelings, trauma and dysphoria.
Nope, need to move out first, otherwise it will be like previous times (was too scared to tell the therapist anything)
post 1584440471 07-22-2019, 04:25 PM
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#45
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I tried something a few times and i hated not having a sex drive. I ended up flipping out srs.
Hahaha sorry brah.
The best thing for you would be a vacation in Asia,Thailand preferably.
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post 1584440691 07-22-2019, 04:28 PM
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When I was 19 I was 6'4", 175lbs skinnyfat. I had a belly. I was a virgin. Felt like the biggest loser ever. All I did was play video games, Never went outside, just video games and worked 3 days a week to sustain my video game life. I decided to start going to the gym. I went from 175 skinnyfat to 200 somewhat muscular and 14% BF in about a month or two. I started going to clubs on the weekends with my buddy. We'd literally just stand there and watch everyone dance because we were so awkward. As time went on we got more confident and would start to "grind" on girls and eventually I got laid. Throughout the years I've gone through many labour jobs, I go through gym phases here and there and have built up a solid base. I got more and more confident with women as time passed. Before I couldn't say two words to a chick with stuttering, now I'll rant to them for 10-20 minutes straight and easily bed them. Sometime I don't even need to talk to bed them, It's more primal. Anyway, the point is, I started somewhere. You gotta take that first step man. However, Having slept with about 70 women, I can tell you that It's not really worth your time. I wish I spent my 20's getting my finances in check rather than chasing tail. Think about what kind of man you would look up to and become that man.
"Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by."
post 1584440741 07-22-2019, 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted By SkinnyKappa⏩
We are the same height and I have a better looking face
Proof? Where are the pics?
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1584440891 07-22-2019, 04:32 PM
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Get off the misc. You need help lmao.
post 1584440941 07-22-2019, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
Those are simple distractions.
Sounds like you are refusing to try them.

If you do choose to try to commit suicide (and I sincerely hope you don't), you can't honestly look yourself in the mirror and say that you've tried to do everything to cure your depression, because you haven't.
I do volunteer a lot.
Good for you... However... With all due respect... I didn't ask that brah.

Behaviour is one thing, psychology is another.
After deep analysis, I just came to conclusion that this life isn't for me. I would have roped a long time ago if it wasn't for my mom. She already went through a lot. Losing her first son would completely destroy her.
Please don't forget that... It would destroy her.. And she likely would be psychologically crippled for life.

The best thing you can do for you life is to try every avenue to help with your depression, so that she can see her son living a happy life.

Even if that means doing things that you may be scared to do; eg. open yourself up in counselling, praying, etc.
I just tell myself that I'm just waiting for her to die so I can do it.
Or you can spend your time trying to heal your depression.
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
post 1584441011 07-22-2019, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted By l2ambo⏩
When I was 19 I was 6'4", 175lbs skinnyfat. I had a belly. I was a virgin. Felt like the biggest loser ever. All I did was play video games, Never went outside, just video games and worked 3 days a week to sustain my video game life. I decided to start going to the gym. I went from 175 skinnyfat to 200 somewhat muscular and 14% BF in about a month or two. I started going to clubs on the weekends with my buddy. We'd literally just stand there and watch everyone dance because we were so awkward. As time went on we got more confident and would start to "grind" on girls and eventually I got laid. Throughout the years I've gone through many labour jobs, I go through gym phases here and there and have built up a solid base. I got more and more confident with women as time passed. Before I couldn't say two words to a chick with stuttering, now I'll rant to them for 10-20 minutes straight and easily bed them. Sometime I don't even need to talk to bed them, It's more primal. Anyway, the point is, I started somewhere. You gotta take that first step man. However, Having slept with about 70 women, I can tell you that It's not really worth your time. I wish I spent my 20's getting my finances in check rather than chasing tail. Think about what kind of man you would look up to and become that man.
This guy clearly has some mental issues. He's a mentalcell, i.e the worst kind.
Also your story is inspiring, but you have to keep in mind that you're taller than 95% of men. You didn't start from the bottom.
Black Pill crew
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Half body crew
I am not an incel, nor identify as one. I am simply here to have a good time discussing. My posts that may come off as offensive are all satirical and they have no harmful intent.
post 1584441071 07-22-2019, 04:35 PM
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#51
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Originally Posted By l2ambo⏩
When I was 19 I was 6'4", 175lbs skinnyfat. I had a belly. I was a virgin. Felt like the biggest loser ever. All I did was play video games, Never went outside, just video games and worked 3 days a week to sustain my video game life. I decided to start going to the gym. I went from 175 skinnyfat to 200 somewhat muscular and 14% BF in about a month or two. I started going to clubs on the weekends with my buddy. We'd literally just stand there and watch everyone dance because we were so awkward. As time went on we got more confident and would start to "grind" on girls and eventually I got laid. Throughout the years I've gone through many labour jobs, I go through gym phases here and there and have built up a solid base. I got more and more confident with women as time passed. Before I couldn't say two words to a chick with stuttering, now I'll rant to them for 10-20 minutes straight and easily bed them. Sometime I don't even need to talk to bed them, It's more primal. Anyway, the point is, I started somewhere. You gotta take that first step man. However, Having slept with about 70 women, I can tell you that It's not really worth your time. I wish I spent my 20's getting my finances in check rather than chasing tail. Think about what kind of man you would look up to and become that man.
OP doesn't have friends though that's the problem is it's hard to do anything without friends

It gives you mental problems
PC specs

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If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
post 1584441131 07-22-2019, 04:35 PM
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#52
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I identify as a cloud of negative energy.
Sink that in let
post 1584441291 07-22-2019, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
OP doesn't have friends though that's the problem is it's hard to do anything without friends
I actually prefer going out by myself. My friends love to cock block me so it's waaaaaaaay easier going out by myself.
"Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by."
post 1584441321 07-22-2019, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted By BetaAsPhuck⏩
Sounds like you are refusing to try them.

If you do choose to try to commit suicide (and I sincerely hope you don't), you can't honestly look yourself in the mirror and say that you've tried to do everything to cure your depression, because you haven't.



Good for you... However... With all due respect... I didn't ask that brah.

Behaviour is one thing, psychology is another.



Please don't forget that... It would destroy her.. And she likely would be psychologically crippled for life.

The best thing you can do for you life is to try every avenue to help with your depression, so that she can see her son living a happy life.

Even if that means doing things that you may be scared to do; eg. open yourself up in counselling, praying, etc.



Or you can spend your time trying to heal your depression.
I have tried all those things.
I'm grateful that I'm smarter than most of my peers. But like I said, after analysis, the negatives outnumber the positive by far.
Yeah it's like I'm forced to live in this miserable existence because of her.
Just lol at this life. It's a complete sick joke. You can't even kill yourself in peace.
There's no cure for depression, and I'm not the kind of person to engage in delusional optimism.
Even the wisest man to ever live says that life is pointless and that it's better not to be born ( king Solomon)
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post 1584441491 07-22-2019, 04:41 PM
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#55
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
This guy clearly has some mental issues. He's a mentalcell, i.e the worst kind.
Also your story is inspiring, but you have to keep in mind that you're taller than 95% of men. You didn't start from the bottom.
There's no doubt he has some issues he needs to work through but I think that's just from being detached from the outside world and surfing the web for way too long. I'd recommend a door 2 door sales job, Got me out of my shell right quick. Yeah, I do have it a bit easier with woman being 6'4" but I've seen shorter brahs run game too.
"Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by."
post 1584441991 07-22-2019, 04:48 PM
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#56
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
I have tried all those things.
I'm grateful that I'm smarter than most of my peers. But like I said, after analysis, the negatives outnumber the positive by far.
Yeah it's like I'm forced to live in this miserable existence because of her.
Just lol at this life. It's a complete sick joke. You can't even kill yourself in peace.
There's no cure for depression, and I'm not the kind of person to engage in delusional optimism.
Even the wisest man to ever live says that life is pointless and that it's better not to be born ( king Solomon)
I can tell you from experience that there is a cure for depression. This is coming from a guy who's been clinically depressed since age 4. When I was 23 I moved cities and started working out HARD. Also started listening to a bunch of audiobooks, one being, "the power of now" I listened to it about 4 or 5 times while I worked my greenskeeping job. One afternoon, I snapped into the "flow/enlightenment" state the author was writing about. I've never felt such bliss, mental clarity and just an overall feeling of the universe. I know that sounds wooish. It's hard to explain but you basically feel as if you are everything instead of separate from everything. This was one of a few moments I've felt truly happy in my 29 years. The answer is action and meditation brah.
"Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by."
post 1584442041 07-22-2019, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted By l2ambo⏩
There's no doubt he has some issues he needs to work through but I think that's just from being detached from the outside world and surfing the web for way too long. I'd recommend a door 2 door sales job, Got me out of my shell right quick. Yeah, I do have it a bit easier with woman being 6'4" but I've seen shorter brahs run game too.
You have to be able to see consistent progress if you do that though, otherwise the depression will just follow you quickly into that job. That's why i don't quit my job. I need too but i know i can't just mask my depression very long at another job. I used to work retail and loved it, but i can't do that with the depression i have now. I'm too ill.

I feel like at some point it is like this for everyone. It can work but it's just really fukin hard for some people.
PC specs

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6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
post 1584442221 07-22-2019, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted By nnodcvcker⏩
I have tried all those things.
How long were you in therapy/counselling for?

How many therapists/counsellors did you try?

Please be specific.
I'm grateful that I'm smarter than most of my peers. But like I said, after analysis, the negatives outnumber the positive by far.
How often did you used to write down the things you were grateful for?

Did you do it for longer than 10 weeks?


Yeah it's like I'm forced to live in this miserable existence because of her.
Just lol at this life. It's a complete sick joke. You can't even kill yourself in peace.
There's no cure for depression, and I'm not the kind of person to engage in delusional optimism.
There are many people who used to be depressed, and even suicidal, who no longer are. There are people like that on the misc.

I used to suffer from depression, I no longer do (and haven't for over 15 years).

However, some people do have reoccurring bouts throughout their lives, and need to be on meds. Some people do have treatment resistant depression (that is... They can't be cure by current legal things... I can't talk about alternative treatments othewise I'll get banned)... But that seems to be very rare.

Please list all the treatments that you've tried, and for how long you've tried all the treatments.

I'm skeptical that you have tried many, for any significant length of time. Prove me wrong.

You can read stories in books and articles, and you can watch videos on youtube, of people who used to suffer from depression.

There is a great book called Watch My Back by a guy called Geoff Thomspon... Brah was molested at 11 and became depressed, anxious and was on meds and working a dead end job in a facto... Around late 20s he began to challenge his fears... And now... He's an award winning writer.
Even the wisest man to ever live says that life is pointless and that it's better not to be born ( king Solomon)
Do you think that Solomon was wiser than Jesus?
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
post 1584442301 07-22-2019, 04:53 PM
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#59
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In on daily misc inferiority complex thread

Get your T levels checked if you considered becoming trans seriously, more than once. I would supplement accordingly. If you want a hard life then go full trans but I would not recommend it in any way.

Research shows it doesn’t really help and to me it seems like it will make your life tougher, leading to higher suicide rates. I would balance out my test through a doctor and move forward with a normal male life from there.

Good luck OP.
Posts are for fun, not to be taken seriously or as truth.

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post 1584442451 07-22-2019, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted By eatmycrackers⏩
In on daily misc inferiority complex thread

Get your T levels checked if you considered becoming trans seriously, more than once. I would supplement accordingly. If you want a hard life then go full trans but I would not recommend it in any way.

Research shows it doesn’t really help.
The underlined is not true,

https://www.hrc.org/blog/study-shows...-hormone-thera


but it sounds like OP has some mental problems that he needs serious therapy for, before even considering transitioning.
and to me it seems like it will make your life tougher, leading to higher suicide rates.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...-mental-health
If You Don't Like To Talk About Your Feelings, This Might Help...
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178926621

The Most Heartbreaking Thing That I've Learned About 'The Elite'.
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178536851

Bitcoin And 'The Elite' - Why Bitcoin Is Not Revolutionary
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=179820783
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