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Forum » Lol @ incels
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Thread: Lol @ incels

post 1585923281 08-14-2019, 11:02 AM
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#121
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Originally Posted By Aristotelian⏩
Given the essays we have written to each other in private I'm a bit mystified by this idea that I somehow lack sympathy for genuine cases. I know "incels" in real life. Even some who are fairly handsome and also high earners. Yet the common thing in them is exactly what is done here on this forum - a sort of appeal to determinism or fate.

I fully believe we determine our own situations though this can be heavily impacted by traumas, from childhood to family, physical to emotional. But the path to treating those isn't to scapegoat a whole gender for "slooting", it is to take a long hard look at yourself and see what can be done.

Personal growth is the key to fulfilling relationships.
Tbh, my comments are based off of various posts of yours that I’ve read here and there concerning incels, as opposed to our PMs.

Perhaps you were actually addressing the poster rather than the topic as a whole, but I always felt you came down pretty hard on incels, and I guess I just have a more sympathetic viewpoint (likely owing to my own experiences).

And regarding the determinism/fate analysis, I do agree with you, but what do you expect? Is such a deterministic perspective helpful to incels? Fuk no. Is it understandable how they arrived at such a perspective? Completely. Can anything be done to change it? Yes. Will it be easy? Fuk no.
post 1585925551 08-14-2019, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted By TappingTheZen⏩
Of course some of them are a victim of circumstance/genetics, but you can still make the best of it - but yes i'm sure knowing for sure you're completely phucked lowers motivation.

But i'm talking specifically about the misc, a lot of the incels on the misc are not this way, they just make excuses and you can tell by their posts. EOD for example won't even consider a girl who is below 7/10, how is that truly an incel?
Yea EOD is fuked in the head and I find I have little sympathy for him, but perhaps I should? I severely doubt that ending up a nutcase was entirely of his own doing...
post 1585927301 08-14-2019, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted By Muztek⏩
Post a pic and will give pointers.

Pic should include face, body, and what you regularly dress like.
I am not going to post pics hare anymore. Don't want to be a meme.

I got pointers. Plastic surgeries and aiming to be betabux for single moms. No thanks.
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post 1585929721 08-14-2019, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted By Aristotelian⏩
He works in Serbia and has a police record. He wanted or wants to come to the EU but the police record prevents him from getting a Visa. He fights with his family or at least some members who have told him that he doesn't do enough for them.

With all that in mind he blames all women for pre-rejecting him. And you think that we should take that at face value? Posters like him enjoy wallowing in their own negativity - that is precisely why incels write what is equivalent to "I'm a loser, baby, but it is entirely because of chads and sloots and 80/20" - seeking to abdicate themselves from any responsibility for their situation.
That is old news. I have been to EU. For short visits visa is not needed anymore. For work it is still needed. But why would I rent an apartment in EU and pay arm and a leg to work from EU, when I can work from home in Serbia? Every single job offer I got from recruiters trough linkedin is actually paid less than I make now. Plus I would need to rent an apartment. So makes no sense.

Also, "criminal" record I have is just one fight for which I paid a fine. I got rejected for work visa once because particular country asked for police confirmation that I don't have record. And also got rejected for USA visa twice, for being FA. You need to be married with kids to get USA B1 visa.

I can still go to EU for vacation which I do. But I am still FA, chicks are not any less picky there.



How much I need to study to get chick? You seem to know that chite
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post 1585935491 08-14-2019, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
7/10 is probably top 80-85% but that doesn't really matter, i have never been able to get laid. It just doesn't happen for me.

Plus my standards are 7/10 and somewhat fit. If i can't get that then i will stay celibate.
You have a live-in girlfriend. Why do you expect sympathy for trying to cheat on her, failing, and whining to the misc about being FA?
*Too nervous to talk to SIRI crew*
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post 1585935721 08-14-2019, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted By RaibeartBruis⏩
You're describing a voluntary incel (vocel). Someone who's a bit below average and has high standards, for example.
Which is exactly what 99% of self-proclaimed “incels” are. (At least on the misc, I don’t frequent those other echo chambers all you losers came from).
*Too nervous to talk to SIRI crew*
*Steal easily affordable things to avoid talking to cashier crew*
*So ugly people get whiplash from looking away crew*
*Enter gym through fire exit to avoid talking to receptionist crew*
*Not allowed within 50 feet of a school crew*
*Went within 50 feet of a school crew*
*House arrest crew*
post 1585939431 08-14-2019, 03:00 PM
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#127
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Originally Posted By TappingTheZen⏩
I don't struggle with women now really, but yes i have when i was younger. Up until i was about 20 i didn't get much attention, although i wasn't full incel as i had gotten laid in my teens... I used to get a little frustrated but not full incel... but then when i started focussing on improving myself FOR myself, instead of focussing on trying to get better for women, success came.

This is my point; if you're an incel, i don't see how it hurts to improve yourself regardless of women, i understand it's hard but it's your life you're playing with here so it's worth the effort. Worst case is you improve areas of your life even if you don't get laid and maybe you start to find some fulfilment elsewhere, best case is you start to attract more people, friends, and women into your life. Either way, rotting is just not healthy and not useful and it's not helpful to focus on things completely out of your control, it's much more productive to focus on things you can fix/improve, and sex is really not the be all and end all.

I think a lot of incels would do much better in life if they focused on improving themselves for themselves, rather than trying to do things with the ulterior motive to get laid.
There is nothing else i can do to improve myself i have looksmaxxed for a full decade now, live a super healthy lifestyle and have a decent job and everything i want and i still can't get laid. I literally live life on easy mode except for the fact i cannot get laid or make friends.
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post 1585939501 08-14-2019, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted By FreshlySnipes⏩
You have a live-in girlfriend. Why do you expect sympathy for trying to cheat on her, failing, and whining to the misc about being FA?
Do you people not understand that some people who are in relationships don't get laid, or rarely do? Most people that are in a relationship for as long as i have been are getting laid once per month at best. There is nothing i can do. If there is no lust i can't have sex.
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post 1585939751 08-14-2019, 03:06 PM
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lol, complaining of having sex once a month.

Try nonce a lifetime. lol
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post 1585941551 08-14-2019, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
Do you people not understand that some people who are in relationships don't get laid, or rarely do? Most people that are in a relationship for as long as i have been are getting laid once per month at best. There is nothing i can do. If there is no lust i can't have sex.
So are you going to break up with her then? Or just keep complaining about how hard it is to find someone to cheat on her with?
*Too nervous to talk to SIRI crew*
*Steal easily affordable things to avoid talking to cashier crew*
*So ugly people get whiplash from looking away crew*
*Enter gym through fire exit to avoid talking to receptionist crew*
*Not allowed within 50 feet of a school crew*
*Went within 50 feet of a school crew*
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post 1585952851 08-14-2019, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Explain all the short ugly guys in the general public with families then???
easy, you dont see that. You make it up in your head when in reality 5'4 ugly manlets are relatively rare and of those that exist very few are dating or married
post 1585953011 08-14-2019, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted By FreshlySnipes⏩
So are you going to break up with her then? Or just keep complaining about how hard it is to find someone to cheat on her with?
There is a more to a relationship than sex. My gf saved me from going to jail and probably saved my life and i relate to her more than anyone else. But there is still an emptiness and no lust. I already expected this to happen years ago though, i knew the sex would dry up eventually.
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If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
post 1585953181 08-14-2019, 07:15 PM
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post 1585953391 08-14-2019, 07:18 PM
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whatever dude
post 1585953521 08-14-2019, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Go to a Wal Mart or busy theme park and take a look around at the families there. Those people are not goodlooking.
not goodlooking != ugly and short.

The actual combination of ugly and short is relatively rare and of those guys who fit that description, few are dating or anything. why would they be? Women dont settle anymore because they dont have to
post 1585958551 08-14-2019, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
There is a more to a relationship than sex. My gf saved me from going to jail and probably saved my life and i relate to her more than anyone else. But there is still an emptiness and no lust. I already expected this to happen years ago though, i knew the sex would dry up eventually.
And you repay her by spending your nights on the misc moaning about how you can’t find anyone to cheat on her with?
*Too nervous to talk to SIRI crew*
*Steal easily affordable things to avoid talking to cashier crew*
*So ugly people get whiplash from looking away crew*
*Enter gym through fire exit to avoid talking to receptionist crew*
*Not allowed within 50 feet of a school crew*
*Went within 50 feet of a school crew*
*House arrest crew*
post 1585958941 08-14-2019, 09:06 PM
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wow i can't believe i missed this thread. just have confidence srs
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post 1585959681 08-14-2019, 09:17 PM
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Originally Posted By paul917⏩
Easy to say when you aren't one. Everything you do is motivated by sex in one way or another.
And you have found the problem with your way of thinking. step two is fixing it.
post 1585960121 08-14-2019, 09:26 PM
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just be confident bro

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post 1585962731 08-14-2019, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted By alltrapbrah⏩
It was one of the best decisions I've made in my adult life.

If you suspect that you have ANY degree of fear surrounding women (which I believe is fairly commonplace amongst FA/Incel types), then seeing a hooker will help you chip away at that.

Like... a big problem with incels is just making moves on women, be it asking for a date, going for a kiss, etc. So, you have to ask yourself - why is that? And if making moves on women is something you want to do, but find yourself being unable to do it, then it can only be fear that is stopping you.

Anyway, seeing a hooker will go a long way to tackling that fear head on. It won't FIX you or any stupid chit like that, or turn you into a slayer over night, but it should help to reduce any fear that may be crippling you, hopefully to the extent that you start taking more action in the real world.

I struggle with women to this day, but I went on to be a lot braver with women after that experience.

Are you aware of sexual surrogacy clinics? That's basically the legal version of what I'm talking about. They exist because some smart kent concluded exactly what I did, that if you have a lot of fear or discomfort surrounding something, you might have to engineer a novel way to tackle it.
Thanks for the detailed response.


I should have mentioned that I live in Australia so it's completely legal and acceptable to go to an escort.

Most of the mid to high-end ones offer non-sexual escorting as well, for much cheaper. You can just hire them to go out with you for dinner, or just hanging out etc.
Maybe I'll start with that since I've never been around a female before. Just to see what these people are like
While you were partying I studied the Blade.
post 1585964491 08-14-2019, 11:34 PM
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post 1585965041 08-14-2019, 11:54 PM
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All the drama from incels they should just pay for it or are they worried about the act as they tend to be virgins
post 1585967781 08-15-2019, 01:46 AM
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Originally Posted By alltrapbrah⏩
Tbh, my comments are based off of various posts of yours that I’ve read here and there concerning incels, as opposed to our PMs.

Perhaps you were actually addressing the poster rather than the topic as a whole, but I always felt you came down pretty hard on incels, and I guess I just have a more sympathetic viewpoint (likely owing to my own experiences).

And regarding the determinism/fate analysis, I do agree with you, but what do you expect? Is such a deterministic perspective helpful to incels? Fuk no. Is it understandable how they arrived at such a perspective? Completely. Can anything be done to change it? Yes. Will it be easy? Fuk no.
Does sympathy help? You can see by echo chamber attempts here and across the internet that it doesn't. In fact, sympathy tends to cultivate more 'radical' views (as you can also see here) about women. I find it hard to believe that those promoting personal growth are 'coming down hard' on people, when they are - frankly - the only people actually trying to address what is at stake.

On the '...be done to change it' - it can take years, or decades. But a very good friend of mine is an 'incel' (he hates the word, but hasn't had a meaningful relationship with a woman in over 10 years) and he has: (i) cheated on every girlfriend he had before this period; and (ii) only seems to be attracted to married women or women in relationships. On (ii) he had a phase like this in any case, and he is starting to date again. Now I asked him why he thinks this pattern of behavior manifested itself.

His answer: "Some people aren't destined to be happy". Let me be clear: this guy is a close friend of mine, but comments like that are deliberate, self-created bulwarks against personal growth. And indulging people in that fantasy is a disservice to them, imho.
post 1585968181 08-15-2019, 02:11 AM
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Dude you don't know what incel is.

Incel can't cheat, and can't have a girlfriend. Females avoid incels like a plague.

If your friend can cheat, he is not incel, he is just scum.
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post 1585969931 08-15-2019, 03:42 AM
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
There is nothing else i can do to improve myself i have looksmaxxed for a full decade now, live a super healthy lifestyle and have a decent job and everything i want and i still can't get laid. I literally live life on easy mode except for the fact i cannot get laid or make friends.
lol, you're seriously pathetic.
post 1585970091 08-15-2019, 03:47 AM
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Originally Posted By Aristotelian⏩
Does sympathy help? You can see by echo chamber attempts here and across the internet that it doesn't. In fact, sympathy tends to cultivate more 'radical' views (as you can also see here) about women. I find it hard to believe that those promoting personal growth are 'coming down hard' on people, when they are - frankly - the only people actually trying to address what is at stake.

On the '...be done to change it' - it can take years, or decades. But a very good friend of mine is an 'incel' (he hates the word, but hasn't had a meaningful relationship with a woman in over 10 years) and he has: (i) cheated on every girlfriend he had before this period; and (ii) only seems to be attracted to married women or women in relationships. On (ii) he had a phase like this in any case, and he is starting to date again. Now I asked him why he thinks this pattern of behavior manifested itself.

His answer: "Some people aren't destined to be happy". Let me be clear: this guy is a close friend of mine, but comments like that are deliberate, self-created bulwarks against personal growth. And indulging people in that fantasy is a disservice to them, imho.
Sympathy might have been the wrong word. Compassion might have been better, though it's somewhat synonymous with sympathy.

I think you're entirely right about personal growth being the way forward, just i'm not entirely sure about a "tough love" approach to promoting it, particularly in the context of FAs/Incels.

The arrested development that FAs/incels suffer from is emotionally charged, and although pragmatic efforts may go along way to solving their problems,I don't think they respond especially well to straight-forward, pragmatic advice, especially so if insults and ridicule are thrown in alongside it.
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Originally Posted By alltrapbrah⏩
Sympathy might have been the wrong word. Compassion might have been better, though it's somewhat synonymous with sympathy.

I think you're entirely right about personal growth being the way forward, just i'm not entirely sure about a "tough love" approach to promoting it, particularly in the context of FAs/Incels.

The arrested development that FAs/incels suffer from is emotionally charged, and although pragmatic efforts may go along way to solving their problems,I don't think they respond especially well to straight-forward, pragmatic advice, especially so if insults and ridicule are thrown in alongside it.
A lot of the incels (well, ones of the misc at least - as others have said i don't frequent any other incel echo chambers to know) use sympathy to dig themselves further in the hole and it honestly doesn't help them. Sympathy just validates their warped world views in their mind.

Honestly, for most of them i think they can't be helped because they aren't ready/don't want to be helped, but i've seen a few incel success stories on the misc as a result of the tough love approach.
post 1585971351 08-15-2019, 04:29 AM
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Originally Posted By TappingTheZen⏩
A lot of the incels (well, ones of the misc at least - as others have said i don't frequent any other incel echo chambers to know) use sympathy to dig themselves further in the hole and it honestly doesn't help them. Sympathy just validates their warped world views in their mind.

Honestly, for most of them i think they can't be helped because they aren't ready/don't want to be helped, but i've seen a few incel success stories on the misc as a result of the tough love approach.
Like i said, compassion would be a better word, and I don't think some compassion ever goes amiss...

90% of miscers are advocates of the school of tough love approach; you see this style of advice pitched for almost every problem. So, to my mind, this forum serves as evidence of it NOT being the most effective approach to tackling FAness/Inceldom.
post 1585983811 08-15-2019, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted By FreshlySnipes⏩
You have a live-in girlfriend. Why do you expect sympathy for trying to cheat on her, failing, and whining to the misc about being FA?
While you were partying I studied the Blade.
post 1586039961 08-16-2019, 07:16 AM
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What I'm driving at is probably best summarised by this Carl Rogers quote:
When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he or she is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for. The gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance… provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another
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