On Friday she picked my son up for her weekend visitation, and I say goodbye to him on the driveway. She gets out the car and says

Her: you know I have decided not to talk to you because...<cutoff>
Me: Stop right there, I agree, and let's start right now
Her: I'm not going to talk to <cutoff>
Me: I said that's a great idea, start now, bye! <close the garage>

She called me in the evening after . She's feeling jealous about a phantom gf. I definitely stayed on the phone too long, but one of the things she said was

Her: wowwwww, you're moving on, I see I need to let you go....
Me: um, you already let me go about 3 months ago, and that's why I'm going out tonight...because you let me go, so what you're saying doesn't make sense.
Her: <quiet>
Me: But yes, I'm moving on. Your insecurities and anger are not my problem, and I don't mean that in a spiteful or hateful way.
Her: Well you're the reason...
Me: Nope! not going to play the blame game. The past is the past, and although I have done things that contributed to your current state of mind, I've apologized, but I know now that I am not the source of your anger.
Her: yes you are
Me: no, and as long as you continue to focus on me as the source, you will not find the true source of your anger, and you will never resolve it. But why are you talking to me about this? If your new guy likes you so much, why isn't he talking to you about your problem? I am not your emotional crutch anymore. I have to shower. Bye. Okay?
Her: oh yeah, just have a good life, have fun...
<click>
At this point in time, I can not see myself legally binding myself to another woman. One reason is that my marriage was overall wonderful. I won't give the exact years but it was over 15 yrs. High compatibility, similar goals, supported each other over the years, love at first sight situation for both of us.

Maybe it would be different if I wanted more children, but I don't really. So, then I wonder what is the point? I'll hook up, maybe partner up with someone.
I am a person that can fall fast, so I'll see what happens.
Yep, fuk her (still love her tho).
Oh I was taking care of business: the family unit and its future. I've admitted that it contributed to her crisis. Doesn't matter if there are 2 or 3 sides to the story though.

She is loony at the moment, literally. Hormones, psychology and biology are in definite play.
She has mentioned suicide 3 times this summer, and she has NEVER been that way before. "I feel like I am making a mistake, and you will move on, and I will be alone and kill myself."

Does that sound like a woman who has quit a relationship only because of the husband?

Or she says "it's like I'm purposefully doing the wrong things, and it feels good even though I know it will hurt me." Sounds like she has depression and new dik syndrome.
Yep here is a text from her last week to remind me (in a threatening way) that she was so nice not to use the court system:



But there is chit she can do at this point.Yep, it was scary throughout the process. That's why I am in no way bragging about the outcome of my situation. I feel VERY lucky.
There were no doubts with us, and our overall marriage was great. In the last 12 months, she felt like I was taking her for granted and I did. But 12 months out of a lifetime? Call it quits? lol ok. Nothing you can do when a woman gets diknotized.
Lookup how many woman end things with husbands they say are perfect in every way except they don't feel a "spark."

But I believe that marriage can last.

Is that chick really mad that AFTER your divorce you might be dating someone? "Don't lie to me about you dating someone. I know I was fuking someone else while we were married, and lied to you about it, but don't you fuking dare move on after we are no longer together!"

Yeah, even if everything feels right at the time, it's no guarantee that it'll work. My point was that if there are any doubts at all of any kind beforehand, it's almost a guarantee that it won't work.

Yea shes feeling insecure that he is getting other pussy and is moving on. Shes not even responding to his statements and is jsut going on a rant about other chit.

Bruuuuhhhhhhhh women, have seen it with friends and associates time and time again and im only early 30s. They do some foul stuff and with straight threaten you not to do the same because...uh just because. Because they're cold blooded as fuk and want to hurt feelings without a thought but protect theirs. Some, not all, women are children throughout their lives srs.

Wish i wouldnt have even came back to this thread haha, this bish is pissing me off and i dont even know her. The nerve on her wow, OP is a fuking SAINT for playing it as well as he did and getting out unscathed. Major major props to his calm and levelheadedness

Just getting caught up on this thread. I did the divorce thing, and I can't even imagine for a single second not wanting custody of my son. What a piece of work. Good for you, OP, for being a strong father and showing your son how to be a man.

Sorry to hear bro. A divnrce or seperation is never eas but you seem to have your head on right and you have your son so focus on him and try and be hapy9

How much you take him for? lol

"YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE ME, NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME, I HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN MY LIFE EXCEPT CANCER." - My Ex

Bish, wut?

I don't know how you didn't blow a load in her mouth at the end as a revenge nut. She must be a total sack of feces if she handed over full custody so she could get some fresh D.

Congrats OP you're much better off now.

Damn. That's a raw deal for your boy. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I'd be fukking crushed if I found out my mom tried to get out of taking care of me. Still, sounds like it was a pretty cut and dry divorce. Congrats on making it out!

If you want the serious answer, he pays child support, I kept the house because of custody (we agreed on that).

we had some final hot sex during the process, but I'm just meh about it all. And yes, I had to really hold it in the way she acted about custody. I mean, I'm glad I have it because she was and isn't in the right mental state although reality is starting to come back for her.
how long was marriage? over 10 yrs?

damn just read whole thread.

wow opie you handled it better than me.
i would of turned into a complete *******.

im married. my wife and both pull same amount of money.
we both work long hours and weekends sometimes.

i have also had that "what if she meets someone at work and to fool around with" and it sucked living like that.

now i dont think like that anymore.

i feel like if my wife was to cheat and leave me for a guy and became a bish were she was trying to take me for everything i got, i would leave the country and start my life somewhere else.

you are lucky.

In b4 OP starts "dating" her again in secret. You are WAY too invested in her personal life and you're under handedly making excuses for her. She's a grown woman. Hormones, her divorced friend, and whatever else aren't in charge of anything. She doesn't even wanna be bothered much with her son and wants to be a deadbeat mom who doesn't pay child support.

Really? Kudos on leaving her, but all convos would be about our son and our son only. Would not give a damn about anything else she has to say about her life.

lol this. that poor child.

It could be worse. At least the kid has a father that loves him and seems to want to do whats best for him.

kids need more than love. They need stability. And the current dynamics between OP and his ex are not healthy for that little boy or good impressions. I'm sure he still has hope they will get back together and his dad's dinners with her and obvious holding out on her aren't exactly breeding grounds for stability.

just reading those text messages above reminded me on how lucky I am right now, ho lee fuk I do not miss crazy women like that


godspeed brethren

You're both nuts

I agree but I was just saying it could be worse. My parents got divorced when I was around OP's kids age and it was pretty much the opposite situation. My mom found out my dad was cheating again and I didn't even get to see my dad for months. I had no idea that they were even having problems and it just kinda came out of the blue. The reason they got divorced was my Dad's fault but my Mom poisoned us against him even though she still denies what she did to this day. I lost years of a relationship with my father because I was mad at him for what he did

Divorce is like an epidemic nowadays. Why do people even bother getting married if it never lasts? In the future there's gonna be no marriage because it's futile.

Fuarrrrk. RIP in peace, bro.

Definitely good advice. One of the problems with your analysis, however, is that my story is of events that happened in only 2 months prior to me posting them on the Misc. It only took 60 days beginning with discussion of divorce to final decree for my divorce. Less than 45 days for filing of the documents, getting a court hearing date, and judge signing off.

There will be no secret "dating" lol. She is loony, and I am not subjecting myself to her crisis (and then full menopause will be here before you know it, no thanks jeff).

I was invested in her personal life during the 60 days. I've admitted that, and it worked out nicely for me by doing so. By being invested, I fed her delusions. I saw how infatuated she became quickly with the other man evidenced by out-of-character traveling out of state to see him during the work week and staying at his house to work remote.

As a man, of course I felt jealous, outrage, pain, etc. I would have loved her to snap out of it. But I kept my wits, and said things like "If you don't want to pay child support, then I will GIVE YOU full custody, and pay you child support. Will your boyfriend like that you have an adolescent? Will you be able to freely travel to see your boyfriend and how long will your boyfriend stick around if not?" Knowing her crisis and infatuation, the only logical outcome was her to reject custody and an impingement on her new freedom.

As of last Tuesday the 12th, I don't give a damn about anything going on in her life. At the same time, she is an interesting case-study that I will continue to watch from a distance.I am providing stability to my son. He's told me that he thinks I'm a good role model (feels!). The last dinner I had with her on the 11th of Aug, it cemented my feelings of moving on. No doubts in my mind right now.

I appreciate you and other miscers for helping me with my thoughts after I posted this last week. srs


This text was in the beginning when I was putting together the custody documents.
It clearly shows her mindset at the time that she was wrapped up in her search for freedom and separation. If I didn't keep my wits, I would've been a begging twat.



Point of all this is to keep your cool bros, no matter the outcome.

"He's told me that he thinks I'm a good role model (feels!)."

Damn man, as a father this hit hard, got a little misty. Thats how you absolutely know your on the right path through this no matter what your emotions tell you!

Almost half the wedding I've been to have ended in divorce.

Either I'm a curse or this is just the norm LOL

He's doing just fine, trust me.

I joked that I lived on divorce row on my street because half the homes around me are lived in by divorced men. The one before me became divorced last year. He and his wife (no kids, probably late 20s) moved further out into a new house and kept the one in my neighborhood as a rental. He moved back last year by himself. His ex wife kept the new house.

Told a buddy of mine, and he laughed but then said his street is the same way now that he thought about it: about 50% ratio.

Lol this god damn I couldn’t imagine even being in that situation or feeling the way you do. Soon as female touches other man? I’m outtie and could give a chit less about her.