U wouldn't believe the amount of people who r in crappy relationships, I've banged ALOT of chicks with bfs.

This. It was much more difficult for our parents to cheat before cell phones.

Agreed. I think in their minds they have already justified that it is okay so they can slough it off without any guilt. I had no problem being the other man because they were out there blatantly looking for it and if it wasn't me, it would be some other guy. Seducing a married woman is a whole other ball game.

Worthless post without pics.

wont cheat

My moral compass is extremely strong I'm not sure where it came from though possibly genetic component

Oh snap! Cass, you gots some explaining to do.

If you set your expectations low, you'll avoid overinvesting, avoid disappointment, and sometimes be pleasantly surprised. That goes for purchases and women.

This this this. After I was cheated on it was just a sobering experience that made me more cautious, just like you. I don't think I ever had any moment where I started blaming women or acting like everyone cheats. You guys are way over the top with this.
For example ^^^

Person says "Cheating happens but isn't as severe as misc says it is." Then SS comes in trying to remind you that no, it IS as severe as they say, and it's EVERYONE doing it (not just low class trash)

It is not surprising that cheating is prevalent. Humans lived as hunter-gatherers for hundreds of thousands of years, and they were almost certainly promiscuous during this time. As with much of human behavior, promiscuity can be explained not by some kind of "original sin", but by evolutionary biology. Our closest extant relative, the common chimp, with whom we share a s*** ton of DNA, happens to be extremely promiscuous. A female chimp in estrous will mate with pretty much any male in sight (they are known to just stick their swollen rear ends right in the face of the male)- notice that they don't mate with just the alpha, although the alpha sometimes attempts to prevent her from mating with other males. Community is huge with the chimps, but female chimps are known to routinely wander off to neighboring communities looking for some discrete side action. There are clear advantages with genetic variation in doing so. Promiscuity in general, whether male or female, has pretty clear evolutionary advantages- and so this is why we observe it in nature with the vast majority of species. Although genetically similar to a chimp, humans are not chimps, but we can still glean a lot about human behavior from observing the other primate species. One way perhaps to gauge the level of promiscuity of a species historically is to compare the size of the testicle itself among species. A ton of females are mating with all kinds of males = sperm competition = need for greater sperm production = larger testicle. It is not surprising that male chimps and bonobos have huge testicles, since they are so promiscuous. Gorillas on the other hand have small ones- they are not nearly as promiscuous. Humans have testicles that are medium sized comparatively, signifying a historical promiscuity, perhaps not as much as the modern day chimp, but still there.

Monogamy is probably the result of agricultural society, a mere blip in the history of humans (<10,000 years compared to hundreds of thousands of years of Homo sapiens, and millions of years of ancestral human-like primate species). It is no surprise that cheating (or at least the desire to cheat) is relatively common- you cant just cover up this long, long history of our species, with the associated DNA wired into us.

This is why I don't want to get married BUT I want kids. I love women and being in love but I don't like relying on people for anything, especially in relationships. I know I will follow through with everything I need to do but I'm not so sure if I can meet a woman that has the same set of values I do. So maybe I should adopt a few kids and raise them on my own or do a surrogate?

Yeah I gotcha, I just know what it's like to be in love and years later that relationship turn to dust. It's a risk no matter how good you think the other person is.

Agree. For the record, I do not think cheating, while probably decently common, is quite as prevalent as some in here are suggesting. Humans in 2019 indeed are not primates running around in the wild. The above post was more just explanation of why humans do cheat, or at least have the want to cheat without actually doing it. It's wired into our genes.

Idk man.. I feel like people get wrapped up in their desires. Your testicle example was good, but i havent studied it.

Brb because there are so many people, and theres an insane obsession with social status (fuelled by capitalism or not? Is selfishness natural or altruism?) And people want to cheat does not mean there are biological imperatives in doing so.

Isnt that like saying since its your imperative to eat..and theres tons of food around you. You should eat a chitload?

I feel like you could make just as good an argument for being fat, than you could for people HAVING to cheat because there are so many people out there

Does the NEED (notice i said need) for poosy really go beyond 1 poosy. Couldnt everytime youre horny..1 poosy do the trick? Again, were talking about needs and wants.

But yes i also acknowledge the supposed genetic advantage to "spreading your seed".

Theres just a lot of reasons why beyond here i believe monogamy makes more sense. I could prob write a dissertation on it

The best people have on the other end is like.. Brb i want to fuk lots of people. That must mean we arent monogamous!

Egoism and biology arent always the same thing

It's very interesting how you guys spout off these ideas of evolutionary biology and
psychology that are all under a lens of reductionism without ever studying the genealogy of these ideas.

With Partners or general in life as you don't make it clear really Imho Opie!

Use your common sense. If your partner is getting a little distant and unavailable, something's goin on.

You can tell when a woman or guy is all about their relationship & family and when they're not. I do know a few couples though that got married after one of them cheated.

To be fair, it seems the environment influences dna - doesnt change the underlying dna but can turn switches "on" or "off"It would seem that geneticists and other scientists may have a disagreement on how each influences each and how muchhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1392256/

cheating is very hurtful. dont do it.

the thought of my girl sleeping with another man makes my blood boil

i dont need toxic energy in my life. If you cheat please leave the relationship before you do!

Whoever is on top in the relationship is going to be the cheater. So if you're the one always calling / reaching out to her then I have some bad news

Unclear what most of this post is trying to say. You think monogamy makes more sense. Ok....yes many do in today's world.....this has nothing to do with the historical fact of whether Homo sapiens and their earlier primate ancestors were/were not monogamous [they almost certainly were not]. I sense a ton of strawmen in the above post- I'm not saying people cant rationally think in 2019 that monogamy [or not eating everything in sight and getting fat] is the better choice. However, it is no surprise that a lot of people out there do cheat [or eat a ton and become obese], considering the millions of years of evolution that led to this point, the information wired into our DNA, and observations of the rest of the animal world around us. Whatever you are trying to say, there tend to be evolutionary advantages to promiscuity, whether male or female. Probablythebest evidence for this is you see it with a huge percentage of animal species out there in the world, literally all over the place. At a logical level, a female not attached to one male can find better and better candidates, have more opportunities to mate, and create more genetic variation. From the male's perspective, obviously there are more opportunities to mate and spread seed. None of this is surprising.

For humans, you have to go all the way out to the gibbons, the lesser apes, for the closest species to us that seems to form monogamous pairs......and unsurprisingly, newer research says that even this is not the case, and gibbons display infidelity, partner abandonment, etc. Promiscuity seems very common among animals, and for good evolutionary reason. All I'm saying is that it'sunderstandablehow this "animal" urge could still be wired into a human being after millions of years of evolution. A lot of human behavior can be gleaned from our long pasts and looking at similar extant species such as the common chimp. We are not chimps, and there are clearly differences in both superficial society and also animalistic tendencies.....but we have a lot more in common with a chimp than say a shark. Do you have to behave like an animal and be promiscuous? No. Does that mean that underlying urge isn't there, at least with some or many? No. You said people "get wrapped up in their desires". Well perhaps this "desire" you speak actually has roots in evolutionary biology...there is a reason that new person is so "exciting" when it comes to sex etc.Not gonna lie, very unclear what this post is trying to say.

Strange..i literally cant reply to you without getting "this page is taking a rest day"

Let me see.. Promiscuity doesnt make sense when you look at raising children. You would think if we had tons of evolution regarding cheating/ polygamy then over time we would have adapted to it, and wed likely having mechanisms weve developed to deal with it. We wouldnt care about monogamy


Yet..people still want monogamy. When we think of a guy fuking our girl we hate it. A girl with 100 partners is unsexy and unattractive. Hell, a girl we know with 10+ partners is unattractive. I would venture to say a kid being raised with multiple parents [polygamy] is much more likely to be confused. Divorce is a HUGE deal to kids

Have you ever seen a kid talk about 10+ different fathers? I mean.. At the very least there would seem to be some sort of monogamy as polygamy to me would mean an incessant replacement of fathers so you couldnt point to one.


You keep using other animals. There is literally no other species with such social hiearchies, so i find a lot of animal comparisons foolhardy. Even though youre right we have more in common with a chimp than a shark


Humans can be a janitor during the day [a loser]and then a dj at night [where theyre the apex for that time]. Theres tons of nuances and distinctions whereas a lot of animals dont have near the flexibility. I can be better at sports than you you can be better at math. I can be better at writing you can be better at cooking than me. I would wager to say theres probably someone better than you in at least one regard out there. Due to this, a lot of scientists dont believe there is an "alpha" in human circles.

All im pointing out is how no other animal shows such complex hiearchies and that distinction makes pretty much all animal comparisons different

It might be simply language

Here I am drinking with/messaging a married girl in my class most of the time. Havn't done anything with her, but damn if I was her husband and learned shes spending so much time with another dude texting/drinking I'd be pissed