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» Married brahs.. Is the tour over once your wife gets fat and gives up on life?
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post 1598132521 02-20-2020, 09:22 AM
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You let her get fatso status?

post 1598132671 02-20-2020, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted By jackamo2887
I've tried every trick

"we should diet together"
"come to the gym with me"

Just nothing. Always excuses.
So I assume you're average or above average in physique?

I'd probably just say "hey if you're going through something that has played a part in your weight gain please let me know and I'll do my best to support you but right now I feel like our health/fitness values are so misaligned that it's not going to work long term unless something changes."

That's if you actually want her to lose weight and stay together.
If not just breakup with her.
post 1598132751 02-20-2020, 09:26 AM
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#33
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Fat is nonnegotiable but you need to pick up the signs early. You can marry, they stop caring and then take a large chunk of your assets. Also society and nearly everyone will side with the wife claiming you are shallow etc.

The reality is you need to let your partner know early how you value physical fitness and attraction. Look @ her parents, look at her friends, look at her lifestyle habits, the clues are all there though it's not 100% foolproof.
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post 1598132941 02-20-2020, 09:29 AM
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Lol my wife weighs within 5 lbs of her wedding weight despite having two kids, and gave me a bj this morning before she left for work. Sounds like you need to find your balls and start leading in your relationship.

And she gained ~40 pounds when she was pregnant, holy **** @60
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post 1598133041 02-20-2020, 09:32 AM
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THis is . why you find a girl who's into health and fitness

Break up with her and find another girl
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post 1598133051 02-20-2020, 09:32 AM
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#36
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Current girlfriend put on 20 pounds over the last year. The gym she goes to is outta the way of her new job and isn't as consistent. Told her Sunday she's let herself go and needs to hit the gym hard as I'm losing attraction. Next day she registered at a new gym and has sent me photos of the gym every day to confirm she's there.

Moral of the story.... tell her. Initially, she'll be devastated when you call her out and possibly offended but will take immediate action not to lose you if you're worth it.
post 1598133151 02-20-2020, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted By jackamo2887
BRB girlfriend moved in last year, has gained 60 pounds and all she talks about is when we're getting married. Now I feel stuck. Das not it man, Das not it.
Dafuq. Break up with her if you're not happy. Do NOT get married.
post 1598133411 02-20-2020, 09:37 AM
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#38
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How much food do you have to be consuming to even put on that kind of weight in 12 months? It's gross and impressive at the same time.
post 1598133441 02-20-2020, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted By Ephedra
Current girlfriend put on 20 pounds over the last year. The gym she goes to is outta the way of her new job and isn't as consistent. Told her Sunday she's let herself go and needs to hit the gym hard as I'm losing attraction. Next day she registered at a new gym and has sent me photos of the gym every day to confirm she's there.

Moral of the story.... tell her. Initially, she'll be devastated when you call her out and possibly offended but will take immediate action not to lose you if you're worth it.
Originally Posted By skinnyfat88
So I assume you're average or above average in physique?

I'd probably just say "hey if you're going through something that has played a part in your weight gain please let me know and I'll do my best to support you but right now I feel like our health/fitness values are so misaligned that it's not going to work long term unless something changes."

That's if you actually want her to lose weight and stay together.
If not just breakup with her.
These. Be tactful but talk to her OP. My guess is though you don't have the fortitude or are average (at best) yourself and don't have much commitment.

My previous gf was by no means chunky, but used to be skinny as a rail and was sort of used to that. When we started dating and she saw me making going to the gym a priority almost every day, the effect it had on her now that i look back was interesting. She suddenly wanted to go do spin classes every day, yoga, light weights, etc.
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post 1598133681 02-20-2020, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted By 1fast1
How much food do you have to be consuming to even put on that kind of weight in 12 months? It's gross and impressive at the same time.
It's usually all the eating out couples do when they first get together. Going on dates and being relaxed with their diets. Not going to lie, I put on about 15ish lbs after marriage. When I saw the 160 number on the scale, I knew it was time to head the other direction.

Husband gained 20 lbs, but hasn't gotten it off yet.
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post 1598134041 02-20-2020, 09:46 AM
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It's fixable. I gained a lot of weight while married, but then lost 130 lbs. Only if she wants to fix it, though. If not, you have to decide whether you can accept it or not.
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post 1598134601 02-20-2020, 09:54 AM
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60 pounds in a year is extreme OP....Thats not a food problem that a mental health problem.

Im not suggesting she is "crazy"..Im suggesting she has something going on in her life that she is using food as medicine.

The problem for your long term relationship isnt the weight. Its that if she doesnt deal with whats driving the weight gain, you will inherit her mess.

Find out why she eats and work on that together. If you cant solve that problem, you should run away....Not because of the weight but because of the problem she is unwilling to deal with.
post 1598134671 02-20-2020, 09:55 AM
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LOLOL

OP invite her to go running, biking, swimming, and to the beach/pool. Absolutely destroy her when doing physical activity and when she complains give her the "our values are too different...this isn't going to work..."

Problem solved.
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post 1598134991 02-20-2020, 10:02 AM
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it is typically from too much wine consumption. bish you are drinking an extra 300+ calories every evening

and too much snacking at work

In my experience, if they don't care now they won't care later and will resent you for trying to change their habits.
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post 1598135051 02-20-2020, 10:02 AM
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I was totally different, I didn't get relaxed at all after getting married. I actually lost a lot of weight to the point I weighed only 100lbs. in my mid twenties.
I'm still the same weight as I always was. I go up and down a bit but it doesn't really show.
post 1598135261 02-20-2020, 10:06 AM
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60 pounds in a year? Lol bish is gaining weight faster than a cow
post 1598135391 02-20-2020, 10:08 AM
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#47
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Originally Posted By jackamo2887
I've tried every trick

"we should diet together"
"come to the gym with me"

Just nothing. Always excuses.
She has to want it for herself.
Originally Posted By Vexidi
Be honest with her and voice your concerns about her life choices. It might upset her but it has to be done. Never marry someone who doesn't put forth effort to maintain a normal weight. Eventually she'll complain about her knees and ankles as her mass slowly destroys them. She'll make your ass circle the parking lot a dozen times waiting for a close spot to open up because she can't walk 50 yards without gassing out. Hope you enjoy following her around as she barks commands from her electric cart because she's not capable of pushing one like a normal human. After 10 years her very presence will make you want to jam a pencil into your eye to end your suffering.
Originally Posted By twovalvekid
Have you actually tried to be an adult and talk to her OP?

She could be absolutely miserable with you, feel trapped, doesn't give a fukk, and youre a complete POS doing dumb chit every day. This aint a 1 way street mang.
Originally Posted By twovalvekid
These. Be tactful but talk to her OP. My guess is though you don't have the fortitude or are average (at best) yourself and don't have much commitment.

My previous gf was by no means chunky, but used to be skinny as a rail and was sort of used to that. When we started dating and she saw me making going to the gym a priority almost every day, the effect it had on her now that i look back was interesting. She suddenly wanted to go do spin classes every day, yoga, light weights, etc.
Originally Posted By Scarrdbutsmartr
60 pounds in a year is extreme OP....Thats not a food problem that a mental health problem.

Im not suggesting she is "crazy"..Im suggesting she has something going on in her life that she is using food as medicine.

The problem for your long term relationship isnt the weight. Its that if she doesnt deal with whats driving the weight gain, you will inherit her mess.

Find out why she eats and work on that together. If you cant solve that problem, you should run away....Not because of the weight but because of the problem she is unwilling to deal with.
Good job misc.

Re: that last post- the times I have gained that much weight that quickly 1) year on medication w/weight gain side effect, 2) pregnancy, 3) moved far from all my family and then my dad died within a few months.
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post 1598135431 02-20-2020, 10:10 AM
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Thankfully my wife doesn't let herself ever go much above 100lbs so I don't know those feels

60lbs in a year is tours over tho, is she on SSRIs??
post 1598135441 02-20-2020, 10:10 AM
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#49
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Gaining 60 lb in one year without being pregnant (that’s a lot of weight gain even if 9 months pregnant) is not normal. Did something traumatic happened to her?

My mom had 2 kids and been married to my dad for 29 years and she gained less than 5 lb compared to when they got married.

Have you ever taken her to the gym? Bc this is really sad to admit but once I saw who my ex (he used to compete) would talk to at the gym the one time I went with him.... I started ASAP bc she has an ass and I didn’t (still really don’t compared to that girl). Don’t think it was intentional on his part but it definitely worked, mostly bc I found out she was once skinny fat too and got shapely from lifting. Good chance your gf doesn’t know how much better she could look if she lifts.
They said she's gone too far this time

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post 1598135661 02-20-2020, 10:14 AM
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Tell her you're concerned about her health due to the rapid weight gain and explain how you want her to be around for as long as possible - if this doesn't work she doesn't care about your long term future as a couple. Imagine having kids together - what kind of example is she going to set them... and are you going to be happy with that?

It's difficult to raise because of the fat acceptance movement who would brand you as unreasonable - but if you take the Alan Roberts (Every Damn Day Fitness) approach outlined above it's harder to twist your intentions that way.
post 1598135941 02-20-2020, 10:18 AM
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Originally Posted By TrinnieBuu
Gaining 60 lb in one year without being pregnant (that’s a lot of weight gain even if 9 months pregnant) is not normal. Did something traumatic happened to her?
She figured out OP was a miscer
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post 1598136081 02-20-2020, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted By Fang2
Not if you motivate her to stay healthy and fit
^^^^

However, it is easier said than done. Start with what is in your fridge/pantry.
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post 1598136161 02-20-2020, 10:21 AM
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Give her some toast OP because we're in a roll bread

post 1598136481 02-20-2020, 10:25 AM
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Tours already over at Marriage bucko. Fat is a redeployment to smack city.
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post 1598136541 02-20-2020, 10:26 AM
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you ghostbulkin her brah?

anyway I wouldn't know cause I'm never getting married, strong outdated social construct
post 1598136561 02-20-2020, 10:27 AM
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60lbs in a year?

Huge....literally.....if true.

You're not married, you're not stuck. Tell her either lose 60 lbs or lose 130 (thats you, twink). If she's like "blah blah fat shame, blah blah"....break up with her.
post 1598136651 02-20-2020, 10:28 AM
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#57
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Originally Posted By bsmit107
60lbs in a year?

Huge....literally.....if true.

You're not married, you're not stuck. Tell her either lose 60 lbs or lose 130 (thats you, twink). If she's like "blah blah fat shame, blah blah"....break up with her.
I gained 100lbs in one year. Depression and a bunch of other excuses.

Lost 140 lbs after that.
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post 1598136751 02-20-2020, 10:29 AM
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#58
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It's over once she weaponizes intimacy.

This usually happens before they start gaining weight.
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post 1598137321 02-20-2020, 10:40 AM
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60 lbs?

3500 calories is 1 lb

that's 210,000 calories


not only is she fat, but now you're out a significant amount of money for all that extra food
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post 1598137411 02-20-2020, 10:42 AM
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#60
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Originally Posted By jackamo2887
BRB girlfriend moved in last year, has gained 60 pounds and all she talks about is when we're getting married. Now I feel stuck. Das not it man, Das not it.
i lost weight after getting married lol but I also switched from powerlifting to npc bikini
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