Does anyone get that airy feeling at night time, that creeps up on you when you're all alone. A feeling like you just wish someone truly understood you but you feel so alone. Friends think they understand you, but it's merely just a glib half masted interpretation that barely scratches the surface. Girlfriends won't get it, she can support me emotionally as much as she can but it's finite; she cannot understand the existential ache, and dread, she can try to but it's not possible, so I won't share. I feel ultimately alone with these thoughts, sometimes I listen to songs that epitomize the fleeting feeling of melancholy and futility all in one. It feels one sided though.

Inversely, these feelings are what makes it great to be alive. The feeling of being misunderstood by others is the direct reflection of not understanding your self. So as I rattle around in this mind, I figure things out.

I saw a quote by Rumi the other day that says "“silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.” It made me think, that couldn't be more true.

Just a dear diary moment, not whining or crying, just sinking into the feeling of being alive and reflecting on the ambivalence that haunts me.

Thats fuarked up

Try a butt plug, will make you feel less empty










Trust me...

Repped

That what you do?

There is an idea of me, some kind of abstraction... but there is no real me, only something illusory. And though you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you sense our lifestyles are comparable... I simply am not there

go watch a romcom

lold

Any recommendations?

I'm guessing you're the type of guy who can't watch a movie without scrolling on your phone, op. Your problem is that you're a really boring person. That's why you need stimulation from external sources. Get a hobby or a job and you'll feel good.

last one the gf made me watch was long shot, with seth rogan and charlize theron
was pretty decent imo

Prefer being alone crew

I find Seth Rogan insufferable, any others?

Didn't read lol

Always a pleasure Ape, thank you

chronic pain at times makes me feel alone. people just assume it doesn't effect me mentally but it does. in the end people can't truly feel or understand my feelings when I say life isn't so great. on paper it is whet a lot of people strive for, but that pain completely destroys any enjoyment.

Run i am on my roof drunk trying to numb the pain while I try and get my cat down off the roof with my gfg.the little shot won't come to me.

What kind of pain are you talking about? Back pain? Chronic health issues can really make someone feel like a pariah, I understand what you're saying bro

I reckon they're all pretty much the same brah. Just find one with a decent imdb and let it play for dat warm and fuzzy.

Not really in the mood for rom coms tbh

Go to your nearest vendor

buy some 420, blaze up and play some games on your console or PC

Life is confusing brah. Find God or something idk

That helps you usually?

Honestly man, I'm a huge advocate of self reflection every now and then so I always either head to the beach and just chill while sitting down and just thinking but if you think too much, it's going to be from self reflection straight towards obsession. You're only human mate and it's an obvious attraction to attention from people who understand you completely and I can understand that principle. But listen here buddy, you've still got a life to live filled with alot of people to meet. Look, I'm the same here, I feel lonely as fuk at night as well because majority of my mates in Sydney cut contact after school and just chill with their own social circle and I'm always mostly working anyway but it's no excuse lad. You find that resolve in yourself to just carry yourself through the day to meet these opportunities of finding people who get you and you should be good.

PS; Just read the part about how you already have a girlfriend and if you can't get a sense of attraction/attention and if you don't find that she understands you then she just might not be the one for you OR it's that you're putting your expectations of yourself and others around you on a very high pedestal causing you to be frustrated

Hey man, you're actually a really genuine guy. I really appreciate you opening up like that and leveling with me, that is rare these days. I am afraid to really open up or lean on her too much emotionally because it can put girls off you if they see you in that weak state. So I do feel a bit alone in that regard, so I've started to close my self off to her and I know she can tell somethings up. I find it difficult to open up to women in general so it's nothing to do with her being the wrong person for me or anything like that, it's a personal issue with my self.

Due to lock down I have been paralyzed by thinking about the past mistakes I've made and fixating on everything I've done wrong in my life. Never had this much time to think about chit. It put me into a depressive state and made me magnify everything wrong with my self in a really bad way lol. This lock down felt like the catalyst for that introspection that turned toxic, to a degree

Thank you, almost made me cry listening to it srs no homo. Really insightful and inspiring speech bro, I needed to hear it badly. That proverb about the shark woke me up, I'm saving that vocoroo for times chit gets tough srs.

@Ape, your stories sound not too different from mine srs, I find that we keep having similarities lmao. The chit you've been through sounds not dissimilar to what I've been through. God bless both of you guys, you guys made my night.

Do you write as a hobby? Do you read a lot of literature? You express yourself eloquently.

Empathy is a hard thing to find IME, our culture doesn't train us to be empathetic IMO. Self-empathy is a good substitute IME. Do you journal?

Appreciation of small things, time in nature, time with friends, and art are IME the antidote to existential angst.

IMO existential angst is rooted in the way you feel about reality.


Relevant short video...

You have a good point there. I can think of 4 guys off hand that I felt actually saw me with understanding vs. in a shallow way. I'm not sure if it general empathy or recognition. Definitely involves some kind of non-verbal communication. None of them ever developed into anything beyond being acquaintances, but I had some kind of extended contact with them all.

Jerk off and go to bed then

Silence speaks