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Forum » Things that always happen in movies but not irl
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Thread: Things that always happen in movies but not irl

post 1626276693 12-22-2020, 08:10 AM
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#91
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I think it's funny when girls leave the Chad jock for the beta nerd because it's the furthest thing from the truth.

I remember watching I believe it was Jumanji when a friend pointed it out.

He said "yeah I'll leave my big handsome jock boyfriend for the little nerd, that happens".

I couldn't stop laughing it was/is so true.
The billionaire and the beggar both have 24 hours in a day.

That's why grandma's apple pie rocks and yours sucks.
Originally Posted By Dave22reborn
At least it will thunderstorm tonight, and we know how they feel about water. :)
^^^Racist police officer who also cries about how racism doesn't exist, also cries reverse racism and typifies the stupidity of the racist right, referring to black people as "they" and regurgitating racist stereotypes.
post 1626276903 12-22-2020, 08:13 AM
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#92
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sex
post 1626277163 12-22-2020, 08:16 AM
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#93
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Hot lesbians/nerdy chicks

Anything computer/hacking/technology related

Cars exploding after being shot or hit

120lbs female beating up 20+ males

main character beating up trained guards/mercs like they're inflatable dolls

Unlimited ammo

All out fight between two opponents that takes way too long and no one is tired

getting punched in the face way too many times and still getting up, shrugging it off, then defeating the other guy

"good buys" winning/getting the girl

bad guys revealing their plans right before not killing the main character

anything highscool/college related

meeting people

cars transforming into robots

police arriving at the end

exposition

level-headed liberals

forgiveness
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly.
post 1626278273 12-22-2020, 08:32 AM
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#94
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- Groups of bad guys wait their turn to attack.
- Each assailant is knocked unconscious.
- Where the fukk do the protagonists hide all their extra ammo and mags?
- "shoot to wound"
- Cabin of a C-130 or Blackhawk is quiet enough for conversation - same goes for bars and clubs.
- Any foot-chase at a dead sprint for more than 200 yards.
- Slower vehicles driven by the bad guy always catch up; brb, need to catch up to this Taurus in a fukkin Peterbilt real quick.
- Badly damaged vehicles still operate normally.
- The person you're telling off doesn't interrupt you or is left speechless.
- Skyscraper glass breaks easy; just LOL - chit is made to withstand hurricane winds and flex. Same with punching out a car windows.
- Guessing the password on someone's computer from a sentimental object or photo close by.
- Overt misogyny.


And I could go on, but I'll save some...

On a related note, y'all should check out CinemaSins on YT. Hours of lulzy binge material.
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post 1626278323 12-22-2020, 08:33 AM
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#95
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All American movies follow this formula.

1st 3rd of the movie. Really bad attempt at shallow character development.

2nd 3rd of the movie. Some interesting chit might happen.

3rd part of the movie. Long boring protracted fight to save the day.
R.I.P. Hector Bluntz
I am sex yor butt.
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post 1626279073 12-22-2020, 08:45 AM
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#96
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-People being thrown through plate glass windows and walking it off with no lacerations

-Killing people by jerking their neck sideways

-Blowing up stuff by shooting it
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post 1626279283 12-22-2020, 08:47 AM
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#97
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Action movies in general are crazy unbelievable.

- Explosions and buildings falling over yet the main characters dont get hit by any of it.
- Punches make loud noises
- A town will have chaos but then in the end everything is calm with no aftermath. IRL there would be crazy media and chit going on about it. In a movie, they immediately go back to normal life with no trauma.
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post 1626279473 12-22-2020, 08:49 AM
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#98
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Shifting to the next gear = you pull away from the other guy.
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post 1626279583 12-22-2020, 08:51 AM
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#99
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finding the one.
post 1626279933 12-22-2020, 08:55 AM
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#100
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Guns dont recoil. Oh and 1911s always have the hammer down.
post 1626280433 12-22-2020, 09:01 AM
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#101
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Notes of cash always PERFECTLY fill up a briefcase, whether it's £100k or £5,000 mil.

There is always a free parking space directly outside wherever the protagonist is visiting.

Knife stabs kill instantly, even if nowhere near a vital organ or artery.

Full punches to the face from grown men only cause slightly bloodied noses.

9/10 females will go all moist around a nerdy dorky guy because he is "funny and sweet"

Explosions always cause huge fireballs, even if no gas or flammable liquid was involved in the process

Guys can easily take a leak with another guy just standing right next to them talking to them.

No-one actually finishes their drink or meal in bars/restaurants etc. but just leaves early for random reasons.

Silencers turn powerful gunshots into pathetic little squeaks that no-one can hear

Bog standard compound/base guards cannot hear
Cook the man some eggs!
post 1626280483 12-22-2020, 09:02 AM
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#102
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Originally Posted By Jax05⏩
Anything computer/hacking/technology related
I had this thought the other day watching the original Jurassic Park. The young girl was like "I know Linux" and hacked the fat neckbeards network with like 4 lines of code.
post 1626288763 12-22-2020, 10:39 AM
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#103
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Originally Posted By PTzFree⏩
- Groups of bad guys wait their turn to attack.
- Each assailant is knocked unconscious.
- Where the fukk do the protagonists hide all their extra ammo and mags?
- "shoot to wound"
- Cabin of a C-130 or Blackhawk is quiet enough for conversation - same goes for bars and clubs.
- Any foot-chase at a dead sprint for more than 200 yards.
- Slower vehicles driven by the bad guy always catch up; brb, need to catch up to this Taurus in a fukkin Peterbilt real quick.
- Badly damaged vehicles still operate normally.
- The person you're telling off doesn't interrupt you or is left speechless.
- Skyscraper glass breaks easy; just LOL - chit is made to withstand hurricane winds and flex. Same with punching out a car windows.
- Guessing the password on someone's computer from a sentimental object or photo close by.
- Overt misogyny.


And I could go on, but I'll save some...

On a related note, y'all should check out CinemaSins on YT. Hours of lulzy binge material.
This. Every character, even the out of shape ones who never train, are able to sprint flat out for long distances. IRL nobody can sprint at full pace for more than 10 seconds.
post 1626288903 12-22-2020, 10:40 AM
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#104
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Shooting cars or propane tanks to make them explode
post 1626289713 12-22-2020, 10:50 AM
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#105
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The endings of movies, where the protagonist almost always gets a good ending.
Doesn't always work like that in real life.
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post 1626290053 12-22-2020, 10:54 AM
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#106
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
brb unemployed, live in $8k/mo manhattan townhouse.
lmao, same for most sitcoms - characters all work some chitty waitress job and are in NYC in massive condos.
post 1626296413 12-22-2020, 11:58 AM
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#107
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Originally Posted By maori-rap⏩
Explosions always cause huge fireballs, even if no gas or flammable liquid was involved in the process
I'd say this one is excusable since they can't use real explosives.
Originally Posted By DrunkNinjaMastr⏩
I had this thought the other day watching the original Jurassic Park. The young girl was like "I know Linux" and hacked the fat neckbeards network with like 4 lines of code.
It's as if they had someone who watched a documentary on computers as their technical advisor.
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly.
post 1626417073 12-23-2020, 04:59 PM
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#108
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post 1626417763 12-23-2020, 05:10 PM
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#109
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I haven’t seen this yet but something that annoys me is the formula of action movies.

Guy gets into trouble in beginning of movie, running through the street some random chick somehow gets caught up in it

Middle of the movie they’re on the run for whatever reason about a day or 2 after they met

The bad guys die and on the third day of being with eachother they’re in love

Fuk Fukin off. Why can’t I have a film where there’s no romantic interest throughout, just give me laser beams loud explosions and all that chit.
post 1626418013 12-23-2020, 05:14 PM
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#110
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When 90-pound sloots beats the chit out of multiple grown men in body armor and full kit

lol @ the movie salt especially
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post 1626418353 12-23-2020, 05:18 PM
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#111
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post 1626420003 12-23-2020, 05:38 PM
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#112
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sex against a wall
post 1626420183 12-23-2020, 05:41 PM
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#113
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For movies to be real tea, 90% of the characters would need to be staring at their phones for 90% of the movie.
post 1626421673 12-23-2020, 05:59 PM
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#114
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Constantly pumping the shotgun. How about everyone being good looking people in general. Let’s start seeing the ugly, overweight, pigs we see everyday in real life in these movies. Make it more realistic.
post 1626756823 12-27-2020, 06:01 PM
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#115
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Originally Posted By Evil_D⏩
That in any fight, there's always time to make a witty remark before landing a satisfying blow...

Probably the best example in history
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