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Forum » Unpopular opinion: You can stay friends with an ex
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Thread: Unpopular opinion: You can stay friends with an ex

post 1640595383 06-10-2021, 12:11 PM
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Men & women cannot be "just friends"


Don't be naive
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post 1640595433 06-10-2021, 12:12 PM
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post 1640595443 06-10-2021, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted By BigElephant⏩
I wouldn't go that far, but I get where you are coming from. There are rare exceptions. Although the few females that I do talk to regularly and/or consider friends are former teachers or professors. A few more are girls I knew in HS but the only contact we have is like wishing each other happy birthday of ******** so I wouldn't really consider them close friends.
I would call them acquaintances in that case but I see your point. There are exceptions IE if you were to **** it would have catastrophic consequences like a sister inlaw, etc
post 1640595483 06-10-2021, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted By BigElephant⏩
I wouldn't go that far, but I get where you are coming from. There are rare exceptions. Although the few females that I do talk to regularly and/or consider friends are former teachers or professors. A few more are girls I knew in HS but the only contact we have is like wishing each other happy birthday of ******** so I wouldn't really consider them close friends.
First are work contacts. Second are acquaintances.
post 1640595563 06-10-2021, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted By BigElephant⏩
Definitely, and my life is pretty much the same way, albeit without a female friend lol. I have a very limited number of friends, but those who are friends are very close, and I don't really have a desire to meet new people.
das it mane
post 1640595583 06-10-2021, 12:13 PM
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Ofc but only because it makes it easier to bang her again
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post 1640595773 06-10-2021, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted By GayCumLord⏩
If you genuinely want a platonic relationship with a female (with exclusion of monkeybranching), there's something wrong with you mentally
this. repped


unless you have a mutual business, kids or something in that sense or she's your FWB. i don't see why you would want to stay friends with an ex
You can't fight fate
post 1640596303 06-10-2021, 12:23 PM
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Disagree. They’re an ex for a reason, there’s absolutely nothing good that can come from staying friends. Either one or both of you still have feels, or she’ll think you’re only staying friends in the hope you can win her back and lap up the free validation.
post 1640596393 06-10-2021, 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted By cannon300⏩
Disagree. They’re an ex for a reason, there’s absolutely nothing good that can come from staying friends. Either one or both of you still have feels, or she’ll think you’re only staying friends in the hope you can win her back and lap up the free validation.
That's valid for immediately after. I'm talking after a period of NC
post 1640597073 06-10-2021, 12:32 PM
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Originally Posted By GayCumLord⏩
If you genuinely want a platonic relationship with a female (with exclusion of monkeybranching), there's something wrong with you mentally
sloots are boring as fuk after smashing

would rather shoot chit / game with the boys
post 1640597313 06-10-2021, 12:35 PM
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Wouldn’t want to stay in contact with any exes due to the fact when I’m in another relationship it’d make me think back to my relationship with said ex and question things

Did just pass the 6 month mark of getting back together with an ex though srs, but that’s different
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post 1640597333 06-10-2021, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted By lexbishop⏩
I knew a guy who'd always know when his relationships were about to end, dump the girl first, start dating a girl he had met while with the former girl, and stay friends with the old gf.

This would in turn make them both incredibly jealous and he'd cheat back and forth which kept them in line and kept him on a confidence boost, until he'd meet a different girl that was unaware of both of them, and then would stop talking to both of the previous girls.

This would ensure he'd be on a constant rotation of women. We all inherently know that women can tell when you're getting laid, and his strategy never failed once.

In fact, this also ensured he'd constantly have a new network, which helped him in business too.

He totally used womens' behaviors and tendencies against them.
Mirin' the sociopathy
post 1640597403 06-10-2021, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Wouldn’t want to stay in contact with any exes due to the fact when I’m in another relationship it’d make me think back to my relationship with said ex and question things

Did just pass the 6 month mark of getting back together with an ex though srs, but that’s different
Damn, that's a good thread idea
post 1640597653 06-10-2021, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted By soberchuck⏩
In my case, I think it's because I don't really let many people get close, so the ones that I have let in have earned a spot. Does that make sense?
I'm the same way. I'm sort of friends with one of my exes. We don't ever hang out in person and i don't see us ever changing that part, but one of us might send the other a text of a meme or a joke out of the blue once a month-ish just because after 5 years with a person, there are certain things that are funny that you might relate only to that specific person.
post 1640597723 06-10-2021, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted By Contribution05⏩
I'm the same way. I'm sort of friends with one of my exes. We don't ever hang out in person and i don't see us ever changing that part, but one of us might send the other a text of a meme or a joke out of the blue once a month-ish just because after 5 years with a person, there are certain things that are funny that you might relate only to that specific person.
das it mane
post 1640597923 06-10-2021, 12:42 PM
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I’m friends/fam with Danielle and actually marrying her little brother with 3 other girls. Would never be able tj date her again but I still love her. There isn’t any other ex I’d ever speak to aside from her but I only have had like 5 gf’s my whole life and an insane amount of one night stands so?
post 1640598103 06-10-2021, 12:44 PM
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Jerry and Elaine remained good friends despite dating each other (Seinfeld). So I guess it is possible.
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post 1640598163 06-10-2021, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted By Contribution05⏩
I'm the same way. I'm sort of friends with one of my exes. We don't ever hang out in person and i don't see us ever changing that part, but one of us might send the other a text of a meme or a joke out of the blue once a month-ish just because after 5 years with a person, there are certain things that are funny that you might relate only to that specific person.
You're her backup. Things go south with whoever she's with and she'll start sucking your dick.

Pathetic.
post 1640598983 06-10-2021, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted By saltypits⏩
You're her backup. Things go south with whoever she's with and she'll start sucking your dick.

Pathetic.
Not necessizzedly
post 1640599353 06-10-2021, 01:00 PM
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Originally Posted By soberchuck⏩
I mean, there's obviously gonna be boundaries when you're in a new relationship. It's one thing to meet for coffee, it's something else to drink wine and watch a movie in the exes house or something
I don't even think it's right to meet out one on one with the opposite sex if you're seeing someone. In a group, not as big a deal, but def not one on one. Whether out in public or alone in a home. I personally wouldn't do it. I'm just old fashioned like that.

I also don't stay friends with exes. So I'd say to the OP that I think it's extremely rare that you can stay friends with an ex and not have any drama.
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post 1640599563 06-10-2021, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I don't even think it's right to meet out one on one with the opposite sex if you're seeing someone. In a group, not as big a deal, but def not one on one. Whether out in public or alone in a home. I personally wouldn't do it. I'm just old fashioned like that.

I also don't stay friends with exes. So I'd say to the OP that I think it's extremely rare that you can stay friends with an ex and not have any drama.
Ah yea, the Mike Pence rule.

I guess it makes sense
post 1640599863 06-10-2021, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted By soberchuck⏩
Ah yea, the Mike Pence rule.

I guess it makes sense
Not aware of Mike Pence rule? lol
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post 1640600563 06-10-2021, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Not aware of Mike Pence rule? lol
Googled and saw that it's actually called the Billy Graham Rule:
The Modesto Manifesto or Billy Graham rule is a practice among some male evangelical Protestant leaders, in which they avoid spending time alone with women to whom they are not married. It is adopted as a display of integrity, a means of avoiding sexual temptation, to avoid any appearance of doing something considered morally objectionable, and to avoid being accused of sexual harassment or assault.
post 1640600843 06-10-2021, 01:16 PM
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It's possible sure but if you're too close (even if it is completely platonic at that point) new partners may very well see it as a red flag (can't blame anyone for doing this, they're just playing the odds) and not be willing to get serious because of it.
Originally Posted By soberchuck⏩
I mean, there's obviously gonna be boundaries when you're in a new relationship. It's one thing to meet for coffee, it's something else to drink wine and watch a movie in the exes house or something
Yeah coffee ~once a year and wishing each other happy bday is about where the line should be drawn in most cases.
post 1640600973 06-10-2021, 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted By rectifryer⏩
You can if you were never really emotionally invested in them in the first place. There's a few I like letting them know I'm happy for them, but the problem is it probably really just bothers them. It's always one sided. I feel a genuine, "hey sorry it didn't work out, hope you have a great life" but they haven't so....
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post 1640601043 06-10-2021, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted By soberchuck⏩
Googled and saw that it's actually called the Billy Graham Rule:
Wasn't aware of that either. I think it's just good common sense. Especially with an ex, because there is history and past attraction there.
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post 1640602923 06-10-2021, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted By lexbishop⏩
I knew a guy who'd always know when his relationships were about to end, dump the girl first, start dating a girl he had met while with the former girl, and stay friends with the old gf.

This would in turn make them both incredibly jealous and he'd cheat back and forth which kept them in line and kept him on a confidence boost, until he'd meet a different girl that was unaware of both of them, and then would stop talking to both of the previous girls.

This would ensure he'd be on a constant rotation of women. We all inherently know that women can tell when you're getting laid, and his strategy never failed once.

In fact, this also ensured he'd constantly have a new network, which helped him in business too.

He totally used womens' behaviors and tendencies against them.
Your friend is a sociopath.

Exes are exes for a reason. Move on.
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post 1640603433 06-10-2021, 01:57 PM
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Why would you? They are an ex for a reason. Move on tour is over boyo.
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post 1640604693 06-10-2021, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted By BobbyBench99214⏩
Why would you? They are an ex for a reason. Move on tour is over boyo.
post 1640605043 06-10-2021, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted By soberchuck⏩
That's valid for immediately after. I'm talking after a period of NC
I dunno man, I still think it’s a bad idea. I’ve been NC with my ex for 1.5 years and I still couldn’t see myself being “just friends” with her. I’m not necessarily saying you should burn bridges but as far as friendship goes I don’t see what you can benefit from. To me it just shows you haven’t truly moved on. Then again I don’t really agree with being just friends with any girl, so an ex is definitely out of the equation. Plus how are you going to feel when you find out about the guys she’s been dating?
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