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Forum » When partner says no, what do?
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Thread: When partner says no, what do?

post 1641916683 06-30-2021, 12:55 PM
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I brought up getting a motorcycle about 2 years ago to my wife. She gave me a hard no on that one too. I made some arguments and she brought up the safety concerns. I figured I'd let her think about it a while to get more comfortable with the idea and since then one of her uncles nearly lost his leg and was hospitalized for a month and another of her uncles died. They were both motorcycle wrecks so now it looks like it'll never happen for me cause I can't exactly convince her it isn't that dangerous now
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post 1641916823 06-30-2021, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
I brought up getting a motorcycle about 2 years ago to my wife. She gave me a hard no on that one too. I made some arguments and she brought up the safety concerns. I figured I'd let her think about it a while to get more comfortable with the idea and since then one of her uncles nearly lost his leg and was hospitalized for a month and another of her uncles died. They were both motorcycle wrecks so now it looks like it'll never happen for me cause I can't exactly convince her it isn't that dangerous now
Cant exactly convince her it isnt dangerous....

I mean....it is....but it's risk.
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post 1641916913 06-30-2021, 12:58 PM
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
I brought up getting a motorcycle about 2 years ago to my wife. She gave me a hard no on that one too. I made some arguments and she brought up the safety concerns. I figured I'd let her think about it a while to get more comfortable with the idea and since then one of her uncles nearly lost his leg and was hospitalized for a month and another of her uncles died. They were both motorcycle wrecks so now it looks like it'll never happen for me cause I can't exactly convince her it isn't that dangerous now
Sighs

Cos they’re not wrong

And “hard no” almost never happens
post 1641917113 06-30-2021, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
“I think I’ll get a bike”

“No”

“Definite no?”

“Hard no”

Fold or fuk it
It's all in the phrasing. Instead of saying "I think I'll get a bike", say "I'm getting a bike. Which one should I get?" Then they'll at least feel involved in the "decision"...
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post 1641917313 06-30-2021, 01:04 PM
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Lol at riding a bike when you're 50
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post 1641917393 06-30-2021, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted By hoganrulz⏩
Lol at riding a bike when you're 50
What about when I’m 90

How long do I have to wait?
post 1641917493 06-30-2021, 01:06 PM
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Any chance he would agree to a bike holiday together? With a guide and they provide bikes?

Maybe he will love it.
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post 1641917583 06-30-2021, 01:08 PM
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It depends on if whatever the decision is, will legitimately significantly affect them or not.
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post 1641917633 06-30-2021, 01:08 PM
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Get the Vulcan. Classic if you wanna be hnnng about it.

If you’re familiar with bikes then other people (even spouses) shouldn’t have complete veto power.

If you’re not, take a basic then advanced riders course.

(If you’re not decent on a bike though, I’d rec starting on something smaller than a heavier cruiser)
post 1641917823 06-30-2021, 01:10 PM
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post 1641917873 06-30-2021, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
What about when I’m 90

How long do I have to wait?
90 is fine since you'll probably chit your pants and drool like an unruly 5 year old
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post 1641917933 06-30-2021, 01:11 PM
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Sometimes spouses are there to talk you down off the ledge of impulsivity.

If he's got legitimate reasons, i.e. - finances, knows you won't actually ride it - talk them out and consider them objectively.

If he's just saying no because his ego is hurt that his woman rides and he doesn't... uh, sorry you're with a chick? Come home with the bike and tell him to grow up.
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post 1641917993 06-30-2021, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Yeah it is dangerous.

My ex had a Harley and I rode the back a few times and was scared. He sold it eventually and I was really relieved.
lol, it was dangerous because you were scared?

It's only dangerous because the other drivers on the road are morons...
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post 1641918193 06-30-2021, 01:15 PM
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post 1641918373 06-30-2021, 01:18 PM
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Just LOL @ anyone in this thread who threw away the liberating feeling of being on two wheels out of fear.

Bet you were a good little mask wearer too, all locked down in your own home scared to peak out the blinds just in case the VID could be absorbed through sunlight.
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post 1641918663 06-30-2021, 01:22 PM
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you either give him a BJ for no
or he goes down on you for yes
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post 1641918683 06-30-2021, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted By chaunce54⏩
lol, it was dangerous because you were scared?

It's only dangerous because the other drivers on the road are morons...
So much this. Had a friend who wanted to ride his bike to work [bicycle] and had to quit because he was hit 3 times by drivers IIRC. It was only a few miles from his house to his job.

Too many people doing other things than actually driving while behind the wheel.
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post 1641918883 06-30-2021, 01:25 PM
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post 1641918893 06-30-2021, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted By PTzFree⏩
Just LOL @ anyone in this thread who threw away the liberating feeling of being on two wheels out of fear.

Bet you were a good little mask wearer too, all locked down in your own home scared to peak out the blinds just in case the VID could be absorbed through sunlight.
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post 1641918903 06-30-2021, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
So much this. Had a friend who wanted to ride his bike to work [bicycle] and had to quit because he was hit 3 times by drivers IIRC. It was only a few miles from his house to his job.

Too many people doing other things than actually driving while behind the wheel.
When I ride, I literally assume everybody else on the road is trying to kill me.
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post 1641919073 06-30-2021, 01:28 PM
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Where do you want to ride? Commuter vehicle in town, or do you want to road trip through the English countryside?

Growing up it was a right of passage when a teenage boy could get his first motorbike at 13 or so for his transportation to his pipe moving job. I started with a Honda 90 and my buddy had some old 125 2-stroke. If I leaned forward to reduce the drag from wind I could get up to about 55 or 60 mph, but my buddies bike was faster. We had dirt bikes for riding through fields, but I sold my last one 20 years a ago. Always thought I'd get a road bike eventually, or maybe an on/off adventure bike. Seeing all the dumb things drivers do has cooled me a bit towards wanting to ride in traffic, but I'd still love something for the mountains trails and country roads.

As for the question at hand, it usually comes down to whoever feels the most strongly on the issue. I don't think there's ever been something that I couldn't get my way on, but often when I step back and look at the choice objectively, she is right.
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post 1641919243 06-30-2021, 01:30 PM
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Anyone with kids who gets a bike is irresponsible and selfish.

If you don't have kids, do whatever the frack you want.

Fun fact: motorcycle driving course for beginners, teacher says "out of the 40 of you, 10 will not make it to the end of this 3-day beginner's course." And sure enough, one guy was dead, and another two injured by the end of the course (the rest were just lazy and stopped coming).
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post 1641919343 06-30-2021, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted By chaunce54⏩
When I ride, I literally assume everybody else on the road is trying to kill me.
^^this.

I get it. Statistics affect people disproportionately. But sometimes these "repeat victims" make me wonder if they aren't to blame, and then consequently drive up the negative statistics and stigma of riding. Like, how are you so oblivious to people around you that you get hit on three different occasions on the same route!

Most of the close calls I've had were chitty pucker moments, no doubt. But they were avoidable because I knew what the dummy was going to do before they did it. Had I not been paying attention those situations could have easily gone the other way. None of which would have stopped me from riding.
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post 1641919623 06-30-2021, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
Anyone with kids who gets a bike is irresponsible and selfish.
I have 4.

I'll be quitting tomorrow because clearly you're a fountain of wisdom and knowledge.
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post 1641919663 06-30-2021, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Sighs

Cos they’re not wrong

And “hard no” almost never happens
Yeah I know. I think this is the only thing I've told her I was gonna do that she gave a hard no to. I was honestly taken aback. Usually if she doesn't like an idea of mine she'll say we need to talk about it but with the motorcycle is was just a "no" and that was it. I'd start to make an argument and she just kept saying no and that its dangerous. At least I know she isn't trying to kill me off for life insurance money lol
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post 1641919773 06-30-2021, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted By PTzFree⏩
I have 4.

I'll be quitting tomorrow because clearly you're a fountain of wisdom and knowledge.
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post 1641920133 06-30-2021, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
Anyone with kids who gets a bike is irresponsible and selfish.
I really dislike this statement but I can't say its wrong either
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post 1641920223 06-30-2021, 01:46 PM
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As long as you both have your own money, and bills are paid, I don't see any reason to fold other than respecting their desire for you to minimize risks. But that's a personal choice whether you wanna put their wishes over yours.

Am i the inspiration for this thread? lol I'll tell you how mine went.

"I think I'm gonna start looking at bikes"

"But they're so dangerous, I don't want you to get one, I'd be worried all the time."

"I know, don't worry. You know I'm safe, I'll have all the proper gear, I'm gonna take a safety course, and just to ease your concerns, I won't do any highway riding until I'm more experienced and you're more comfortable"

"Well idk. that sounds good, I gotta think about it"

"Ok. You think about it. I'm still gonna get one because I've always wanted one and it's my money I'm spending"

"Ok"
"So t
post 1641920713 06-30-2021, 01:56 PM
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#59
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
I really dislike this statement but I can't say its wrong either
Yeah, I think it's the inherent judgement in the statement that gets me. We all have our vices. Some of the things I do are irresponsible and selfish. When you have kids there are always sacrifices that have to be made, but you have to keep living, too. Some people draw the line in a different spot than me.

In fairness, though, I suppose there are some things that people do that I would judge in a similarly harsh way.
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post 1641920953 06-30-2021, 02:00 PM
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I stopped riding when we decided to have kids

It was a discussion and a rational decision

Was it supposed to be for my entire life? I didn’t even think about it
Originally Posted By Zackad⏩
As long as you both have your own money, and bills are paid, I don't see any reason to fold other than respecting their desire for you to minimize risks. But that's a personal choice whether you wanna put their wishes over yours.

Am i the inspiration for this thread? lol I'll tell you how mine went.

"I think I'm gonna start looking at bikes"

"But they're so dangerous, I don't want you to get one, I'd be worried all the time."

"I know, don't worry. You know I'm safe, I'll have all the proper gear, I'm gonna take a safety course, and just to ease your concerns, I won't do any highway riding until I'm more experienced and you're more comfortable"

"Well idk. that sounds good, I gotta think about it"

"Ok. You think about it. I'm still gonna get one because I've always wanted one and it's my money I'm spending"

"Ok"
LOL pretty much

I wandered into the room and just pondered

Got shot down
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