Thread: When partner says no, what do?
06-30-2021, 12:55 PM
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#31
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I brought up getting a motorcycle about 2 years ago to my wife. She gave me a hard no on that one too. I made some arguments and she brought up the safety concerns. I figured I'd let her think about it a while to get more comfortable with the idea and since then one of her uncles nearly lost his leg and was hospitalized for a month and another of her uncles died. They were both motorcycle wrecks so now it looks like it'll never happen for me cause I can't exactly convince her it isn't that dangerous now
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06-30-2021, 12:57 PM
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#32
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
Cant exactly convince her it isnt dangerous....I brought up getting a motorcycle about 2 years ago to my wife. She gave me a hard no on that one too. I made some arguments and she brought up the safety concerns. I figured I'd let her think about it a while to get more comfortable with the idea and since then one of her uncles nearly lost his leg and was hospitalized for a month and another of her uncles died. They were both motorcycle wrecks so now it looks like it'll never happen for me cause I can't exactly convince her it isn't that dangerous now
I mean....it is....but it's risk.
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06-30-2021, 12:58 PM
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#33
Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
SighsI brought up getting a motorcycle about 2 years ago to my wife. She gave me a hard no on that one too. I made some arguments and she brought up the safety concerns. I figured I'd let her think about it a while to get more comfortable with the idea and since then one of her uncles nearly lost his leg and was hospitalized for a month and another of her uncles died. They were both motorcycle wrecks so now it looks like it'll never happen for me cause I can't exactly convince her it isn't that dangerous now
Cos they’re not wrong
And “hard no” almost never happens
06-30-2021, 01:02 PM
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#34
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
It's all in the phrasing. Instead of saying "I think I'll get a bike", say "I'm getting a bike. Which one should I get?" Then they'll at least feel involved in the "decision"...“I think I’ll get a bike”
“No”
“Definite no?”
“Hard no”
Fold or fuk it
“No”
“Definite no?”
“Hard no”
Fold or fuk it
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06-30-2021, 01:04 PM
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#35
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Lol at riding a bike when you're 50
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06-30-2021, 01:05 PM
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#36
06-30-2021, 01:06 PM
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#37
06-30-2021, 01:08 PM
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#38
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It depends on if whatever the decision is, will legitimately significantly affect them or not.
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06-30-2021, 01:08 PM
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#39
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Get the Vulcan. Classic if you wanna be hnnng about it.
If you’re familiar with bikes then other people (even spouses) shouldn’t have complete veto power.
If you’re not, take a basic then advanced riders course.
(If you’re not decent on a bike though, I’d rec starting on something smaller than a heavier cruiser)
If you’re familiar with bikes then other people (even spouses) shouldn’t have complete veto power.
If you’re not, take a basic then advanced riders course.
(If you’re not decent on a bike though, I’d rec starting on something smaller than a heavier cruiser)
06-30-2021, 01:10 PM
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#40
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06-30-2021, 01:10 PM
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#41
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
90 is fine since you'll probably chit your pants and drool like an unruly 5 year oldWhat about when I’m 90
How long do I have to wait?
How long do I have to wait?
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06-30-2021, 01:11 PM
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#42
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Sometimes spouses are there to talk you down off the ledge of impulsivity.
If he's got legitimate reasons, i.e. - finances, knows you won't actually ride it - talk them out and consider them objectively.
If he's just saying no because his ego is hurt that his woman rides and he doesn't... uh, sorry you're with a chick? Come home with the bike and tell him to grow up.
If he's got legitimate reasons, i.e. - finances, knows you won't actually ride it - talk them out and consider them objectively.
If he's just saying no because his ego is hurt that his woman rides and he doesn't... uh, sorry you're with a chick? Come home with the bike and tell him to grow up.
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06-30-2021, 01:12 PM
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#43
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
lol, it was dangerous because you were scared?Yeah it is dangerous.
My ex had a Harley and I rode the back a few times and was scared. He sold it eventually and I was really relieved.
My ex had a Harley and I rode the back a few times and was scared. He sold it eventually and I was really relieved.
It's only dangerous because the other drivers on the road are morons...
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06-30-2021, 01:15 PM
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#44
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06-30-2021, 01:18 PM
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#45
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Just LOL @ anyone in this thread who threw away the liberating feeling of being on two wheels out of fear.
Bet you were a good little mask wearer too, all locked down in your own home scared to peak out the blinds just in case the VID could be absorbed through sunlight.
Bet you were a good little mask wearer too, all locked down in your own home scared to peak out the blinds just in case the VID could be absorbed through sunlight.
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06-30-2021, 01:22 PM
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#46
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you either give him a BJ for no
or he goes down on you for yes
or he goes down on you for yes
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06-30-2021, 01:22 PM
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#47
Originally Posted By chaunce54⏩
So much this. Had a friend who wanted to ride his bike to work [bicycle] and had to quit because he was hit 3 times by drivers IIRC. It was only a few miles from his house to his job.lol, it was dangerous because you were scared?
It's only dangerous because the other drivers on the road are morons...
It's only dangerous because the other drivers on the road are morons...
Too many people doing other things than actually driving while behind the wheel.
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06-30-2021, 01:25 PM
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#48
06-30-2021, 01:25 PM
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#49
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Originally Posted By PTzFree⏩
ReppedJust LOL @ anyone in this thread who threw away the liberating feeling of being on two wheels out of fear.
Bet you were a good little mask wearer too, all locked down in your own home scared to peak out the blinds just in case the VID could be absorbed through sunlight.
Bet you were a good little mask wearer too, all locked down in your own home scared to peak out the blinds just in case the VID could be absorbed through sunlight.
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06-30-2021, 01:25 PM
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#50
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
When I ride, I literally assume everybody else on the road is trying to kill me.So much this. Had a friend who wanted to ride his bike to work [bicycle] and had to quit because he was hit 3 times by drivers IIRC. It was only a few miles from his house to his job.
Too many people doing other things than actually driving while behind the wheel.
Too many people doing other things than actually driving while behind the wheel.
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06-30-2021, 01:28 PM
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#51
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Where do you want to ride? Commuter vehicle in town, or do you want to road trip through the English countryside?
Growing up it was a right of passage when a teenage boy could get his first motorbike at 13 or so for his transportation to his pipe moving job. I started with a Honda 90 and my buddy had some old 125 2-stroke. If I leaned forward to reduce the drag from wind I could get up to about 55 or 60 mph, but my buddies bike was faster. We had dirt bikes for riding through fields, but I sold my last one 20 years a ago. Always thought I'd get a road bike eventually, or maybe an on/off adventure bike. Seeing all the dumb things drivers do has cooled me a bit towards wanting to ride in traffic, but I'd still love something for the mountains trails and country roads.
As for the question at hand, it usually comes down to whoever feels the most strongly on the issue. I don't think there's ever been something that I couldn't get my way on, but often when I step back and look at the choice objectively, she is right.
Growing up it was a right of passage when a teenage boy could get his first motorbike at 13 or so for his transportation to his pipe moving job. I started with a Honda 90 and my buddy had some old 125 2-stroke. If I leaned forward to reduce the drag from wind I could get up to about 55 or 60 mph, but my buddies bike was faster. We had dirt bikes for riding through fields, but I sold my last one 20 years a ago. Always thought I'd get a road bike eventually, or maybe an on/off adventure bike. Seeing all the dumb things drivers do has cooled me a bit towards wanting to ride in traffic, but I'd still love something for the mountains trails and country roads.
As for the question at hand, it usually comes down to whoever feels the most strongly on the issue. I don't think there's ever been something that I couldn't get my way on, but often when I step back and look at the choice objectively, she is right.
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06-30-2021, 01:30 PM
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#52
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Anyone with kids who gets a bike is irresponsible and selfish.
If you don't have kids, do whatever the frack you want.
Fun fact: motorcycle driving course for beginners, teacher says "out of the 40 of you, 10 will not make it to the end of this 3-day beginner's course." And sure enough, one guy was dead, and another two injured by the end of the course (the rest were just lazy and stopped coming).
If you don't have kids, do whatever the frack you want.
Fun fact: motorcycle driving course for beginners, teacher says "out of the 40 of you, 10 will not make it to the end of this 3-day beginner's course." And sure enough, one guy was dead, and another two injured by the end of the course (the rest were just lazy and stopped coming).
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06-30-2021, 01:32 PM
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#53
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Originally Posted By chaunce54⏩
^^this.When I ride, I literally assume everybody else on the road is trying to kill me.
I get it. Statistics affect people disproportionately. But sometimes these "repeat victims" make me wonder if they aren't to blame, and then consequently drive up the negative statistics and stigma of riding. Like, how are you so oblivious to people around you that you get hit on three different occasions on the same route!
Most of the close calls I've had were chitty pucker moments, no doubt. But they were avoidable because I knew what the dummy was going to do before they did it. Had I not been paying attention those situations could have easily gone the other way. None of which would have stopped me from riding.
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06-30-2021, 01:35 PM
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#54
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Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
I have 4.Anyone with kids who gets a bike is irresponsible and selfish.
I'll be quitting tomorrow because clearly you're a fountain of wisdom and knowledge.
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06-30-2021, 01:36 PM
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#55
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Yeah I know. I think this is the only thing I've told her I was gonna do that she gave a hard no to. I was honestly taken aback. Usually if she doesn't like an idea of mine she'll say we need to talk about it but with the motorcycle is was just a "no" and that was it. I'd start to make an argument and she just kept saying no and that its dangerous. At least I know she isn't trying to kill me off for life insurance money lolSighs
Cos they’re not wrong
And “hard no” almost never happens
Cos they’re not wrong
And “hard no” almost never happens
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06-30-2021, 01:37 PM
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#56
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Originally Posted By PTzFree⏩
LulzI have 4.
I'll be quitting tomorrow because clearly you're a fountain of wisdom and knowledge.
I'll be quitting tomorrow because clearly you're a fountain of wisdom and knowledge.
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06-30-2021, 01:44 PM
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#57
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Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
I really dislike this statement but I can't say its wrong eitherAnyone with kids who gets a bike is irresponsible and selfish.
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06-30-2021, 01:46 PM
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#58
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As long as you both have your own money, and bills are paid, I don't see any reason to fold other than respecting their desire for you to minimize risks. But that's a personal choice whether you wanna put their wishes over yours.
Am i the inspiration for this thread? lol I'll tell you how mine went.
"I think I'm gonna start looking at bikes"
"But they're so dangerous, I don't want you to get one, I'd be worried all the time."
"I know, don't worry. You know I'm safe, I'll have all the proper gear, I'm gonna take a safety course, and just to ease your concerns, I won't do any highway riding until I'm more experienced and you're more comfortable"
"Well idk. that sounds good, I gotta think about it"
"Ok. You think about it. I'm still gonna get one because I've always wanted one and it's my money I'm spending"
"Ok
"
Am i the inspiration for this thread? lol I'll tell you how mine went.
"I think I'm gonna start looking at bikes"
"But they're so dangerous, I don't want you to get one, I'd be worried all the time."
"I know, don't worry. You know I'm safe, I'll have all the proper gear, I'm gonna take a safety course, and just to ease your concerns, I won't do any highway riding until I'm more experienced and you're more comfortable"
"Well idk. that sounds good, I gotta think about it"
"Ok. You think about it. I'm still gonna get one because I've always wanted one and it's my money I'm spending"
"Ok
""So t
06-30-2021, 01:56 PM
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#59
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
Yeah, I think it's the inherent judgement in the statement that gets me. We all have our vices. Some of the things I do are irresponsible and selfish. When you have kids there are always sacrifices that have to be made, but you have to keep living, too. Some people draw the line in a different spot than me.I really dislike this statement but I can't say its wrong either
In fairness, though, I suppose there are some things that people do that I would judge in a similarly harsh way.
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06-30-2021, 02:00 PM
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#60
I stopped riding when we decided to have kids
It was a discussion and a rational decision
Was it supposed to be for my entire life? I didn’t even think about it
I wandered into the room and just pondered
Got shot down
It was a discussion and a rational decision
Was it supposed to be for my entire life? I didn’t even think about it
Originally Posted By Zackad⏩
LOL pretty muchAs long as you both have your own money, and bills are paid, I don't see any reason to fold other than respecting their desire for you to minimize risks. But that's a personal choice whether you wanna put their wishes over yours.
Am i the inspiration for this thread? lol I'll tell you how mine went.
"I think I'm gonna start looking at bikes"
"But they're so dangerous, I don't want you to get one, I'd be worried all the time."
"I know, don't worry. You know I'm safe, I'll have all the proper gear, I'm gonna take a safety course, and just to ease your concerns, I won't do any highway riding until I'm more experienced and you're more comfortable"
"Well idk. that sounds good, I gotta think about it"
"Ok. You think about it. I'm still gonna get one because I've always wanted one and it's my money I'm spending"
"Ok
"
Am i the inspiration for this thread? lol I'll tell you how mine went.
"I think I'm gonna start looking at bikes"
"But they're so dangerous, I don't want you to get one, I'd be worried all the time."
"I know, don't worry. You know I'm safe, I'll have all the proper gear, I'm gonna take a safety course, and just to ease your concerns, I won't do any highway riding until I'm more experienced and you're more comfortable"
"Well idk. that sounds good, I gotta think about it"
"Ok. You think about it. I'm still gonna get one because I've always wanted one and it's my money I'm spending"
"Ok
"I wandered into the room and just pondered
Got shot down
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