The hardest part about finding a gym partner was finding someone with the exact same goals and level of progress as me.

You sound like an idiot. Just because someone is mentally diverse doesn't mean I'm asking for your ridicule. You assume I'm "lying" because you have trust issues and because in your world you can't accept that violence actually exists. Tone down the aggression and think a moment before you post.

Like i said, irl I don't talk about it. So there goes your little theory.

If you go to a gym consistently and become a regular, I think it's inevitable that you'll talk and meet people. I'm usually not very social but in the gym it's easy to start a conversation. People will approach, ask for a spot, ask if you're using equipment. There's usually a conversation that happens, not just yes or no.

So, from what I have gathered is that you've had a really traumatic life, but you've developed the best survival and coping skills that you could to help you survive this long. You're cynical and guarded and humourous and lonely. And I think crying for help in your own way while trying to stay strong.

I feel for you because I know you've been through things many people would never survive.

I think you should take steps. Find a community to plug into first and develop relationships where one of them might happen to be into fitness and could develop into a workout partner. I wouldn't go looking at the gym for a friend who will automatically "get" you.

I don't want to go into details, but a I've had some trauma that spiritually broke me, and I'm not necessarily "right with God" or anything, but I think church can help to meet compassionate people. Or get involved with a group that helps prisoners, sexual assault victims, child advocacy, child abuse survivors, etc.

Yeah i know what you mean. if someone is on a different wavelength it can be difficult to connect.I like the sound of this. Thanks.

People aren’t in the gym to make friends. That being said, if you’re a legit female over 5/10 just go up and say hi

The only idiot is you.

Stop lying about your slutty/whore past. It was not "rape" and you were not "trafficked."

Stop thinking that your bizarre and anti-social behavior, on top of mental gymnastics about your sexual history, are things that will not make normal people want to not be around you. You expect people to conform to your awkwardness? Your deranged ranting? Your inappropriate behavior and statements? Do you think people want to hear about your fake "rape" stories within a few minutes of meeting you? Do you think normal people want to hear your fake "rape" stories at all?

how exactly do you know she wasn't trafficked??

her weird behavior and how she acts here all the time is an indicator that something really traumatic happened to her.

Just buy a dog if you are seriously that lonely for a friend.

No one is going to be your friend just to be your friend.

They either want your Puss, you got money or you have something they want or could use you for.

Thank you for such a thoughtful post. I'm going to do everything you suggested.

I try not to be cynical and guarded though. Srs. I try to be so open and fun. I also try to not ask for help or look weird because I don't want to be a burden. I think just being dominant is the best path through life. Like if I'm sad, I just try to dominate, I don't go asking someone else for favors or time. I know the basic of social life, and that's to not bother anyone.

It's just that I take that to excess and I don't talk at all. When others try to approach I just do my best to try to make the conversations as brief as possible because if they get close, I either have to start up with the lies (oh my childhood was great) or I have to end the friendship. What I survived influences every aspect of my political views, my lifestyle, my diet ... yet all anyone tells me is to hide so as not to be rude to others by "oversharing." So others get to connect and be open and free and honest, but not me. For me I'm literally supposed to hide because I will give them "secondary trauma " or whatever they call it. My teachers in school told me to shut up and stop scaring the other kids. So I did. It feels like everyone is asking for me to help the felon with the coverup. I resent that. Big time. I wish the world wasn't full of so much weakness. Only super tough guys can stand me. Everyone else just starts mewling 'you lie, it's not true!'

So, in my past friendships, I learn allllll about them. They know nothing about me. except lies. And then I feel alone and have no problem walking away because I know that the moment I actually show who I am it's over.

He just doesn't want to admit the world is scary. lol. It's fine. I make him piss his pants with fear and this is how he copes - denial.

Bull ****. I see people being friendly. So i want that too. Plus, if they want to use me for money, how do i get them to not betray me?

Head nod to everybody at the gym crew checking in. Talking to chicks at the gym is creepy. I occasionally bullchit with some regulars, but gym partners usually just talk. I’m in and out.

I will try smiling at some people maybe.

I love gym buddies

woo! she's a stunner.

It's only creepy if you make it creepy

Really can't help you there, you just need to be a judge of good character. Trust your gut is what I say.

Bring in a case of Gatorade with you next time you work out. Everyone loves Gatorade.

That could work.

Whitney Johns...Fukk Yeah!

Want her number?

bro, that's way over my level, but thank you. The moment I start flirting with other women dudes find her irresistible and steal her away. I get alpha-ed out, lol. Life of a twink.

Main bit I disagree with here is the idea that having to "fake it to make it" is only a you thing. I think it applies to a lot of people; or at least ones with some social savvy.

It's tricky opening up to other people. You don't want to be fake and only have shallow phony relationships, but then you also gotta know that anytime you share anything heavy or difficult that people disbelieve you, make a lot of BS assumptions about you, or shy away like what you have could be catching.

I share a lot of my business on misc that I don't and may never have IRL.

'Cause be real, a lot of people when you tell them something that happened to you? They think that you must have done something to "have it coming".

Because if you can play by the rules and do the right things and still get wrecked? Well that would mean it could happen to them too. And a lot of people can't come to terms with that until they are older and more experienced and have lived through their own chitstorms.

Spoiler!

My "activity partners" are the people I train jiu jitsu & grappling with. I like lifting alone. OP, maybe try a hobby that's more naturally a group activity

Well I don't think you can't have friends cos of trauma or whatnot since everybody has trauma and is fuked up, not to extent to being trafficked maybe but still. I think it's because you're there in bumfuk Mississippi whereas you should come here in LA or some other crazy city that is full of freaks and colorful personalities as yourself.

I've been around people a lot. No on has cared about me. What is the process to get people to care?
absolutely. just too expensive to move, and people are people.Thanks man. those are good words. I can actually do a cold approach and talk a blue streak with literally anyone. but I've never had someone give a damn if I'm going to die or get assaulted etc. I guess I"m not asking how to chat, I am actually a pro with that. I'm asking what to do to make someone care

OP isn't just the town slut.

She's the Grand Poobah of Slutdom!

Maybe an stupid question but have you tried therapy? You should research about the best psychologist/psychiatrist in your area and book a year worth of sessions.


Judging from your posts in here, feels like you are trying to understand and figure out a quantum mechanics books without even knowing how to read

Saw this thread over the weekend and thought about it a bit. I think the best advice for finding a gym buddy has already been given (group classes). The only thing I'd add is it seems to me that some group classes are a bit more inclined to social interaction than others. When I went to a commercial gym there were a lot of people that I said hi to and gave casual head nods to, and a handful that I got to know beyond the most superficial level. I went to one gym for 3 years and another for 2, same time, 3 times a week. I was just lifting though, and not really looking for friends, but I still enjoyed seeing the same crew every time I went. CrossFit seems to build a more social atmosphere maybe? Yoga? Just guessing from what I've seen. I'm sure someone else could chime in with a better recommendation than what I can give.

It sounds like you've had some bad luck with people. There are a lot of good people out there, though, and I think you might be surprised if you knew who really has a concern for your well-being. There are jerks too, of course, but I think most people are mostly good. Sometimes people that care don't show it because they are uncomfortable showing their concern for others. I am that way IRL unless I really know someone.

I think Snails would have been surprised how many on here were affected by her passing. I think the way she treated people is a big part of why so many were affected. She was just nice to everyone and always tried to be helpful. Still, I doubt she knew how many cared for her. So I guess my advice on getting people to care would be to just be nice, just be aware that the people who you know care about you will probably just be a fraction of the people who really do care about you.